I want to sit down with them, and I want to tell them lies: That the kids at school are wrong. That everything will be okay. That it was a good idea to dress a kid up in a Spider-Man costume and have him review a Spider-Man videogame. I want to ask where they found that girl who’s so excited about her cooking videogame. I want to tell them—and this, this would not be a lie—I want to tell them that their show is my new very favorite show, and I would watch it all the time if I could, and that I give it a 10/10.