Our own Chas Bowie reports from the Ted Wheeler party at the Kennedy School, where the jubilant crowd is gloating over the bloated corpse of Diane Linn. Says Chas…

The room is flooded with the sound of a calypso band—which is far more annoying than I thought it would be. There’s a crowd of 200 people, made up mostly of old white people. They all know he’s going to win. Wheeler speaks to the crowd and reveals he has exactly ZERO charisma — watching him get excited is like burping a Tupperware container. Today’s a monumentus day, he says, because it was four years ago today he summited Mt. Everest. Weird… his wife looks like Nicole Kidman. The calypso music kicks in again, and they’re doing the thing where the moms are danicng with little ten year old girls. You’re not missing anything… It’s a total honky cheese fest.