Ech, laddies an lasses! Music Editor Adam Gnade an meself jus ga ba from lunch wi Irvine Welsh, dae Scottish autor a Trainspotting, Marabou Stork Nightmares, Ecstacy, and hi lates, The Bedroom Secrets of Master Chefs. Unfortunately, dae digita recorda da we used daen’t pick up mucha dae discussion, sin we was a dae Heathman Restaurant downtown, wi was loud n janglin and swarmin wi all dae proper whi collar types.

Howeva, laddies an lasses! We di talk to him abou somma dae stuff abou writin and politics n vidyagames! Welsh reads tonight a Powell’s on Burnside a 7:30—follow dae jump an read abou somma dae stuff we learnt from talkin wi him!

WHAT IRVINE WELSH WAS CONCERNED ABOUT WHEN WE FIRST MET
--How he'd been having trouble with the key to his hotel room

THE TERM OF ENDEARMENT IRVINE WELSH USED TOWARDS US WHEN WE PARTED WAYS
--"Blokes”

INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT IRVINE WELSH
--Irvine Welsh wears a Boston Red Sox t-shirt
--Irvine Welsh does not eat heroin for lunch; rather, he has a club salad and a glass of red wine
--Irvine Welsh has an American wife who plays videogames
--Irvine Welsh sells the rights to his books to filmmakers, but has no interest in adapting works he's already written
--Irvine Welsh just found out about blogs six months ago
--Irvine Welsh knows Chuck Palahniuk
--Irvine Welsh likes to read John Updike
--Irvine Welsh writes some journalism, and enjoys talking about the difference between writing journalism and writing fiction
--Irvine Welsh calls Robert "Begbie” Carlyle "Bobby Carlyle”
--People in Scotland are more "disappointed” with America rather than hateful, angry, etc.

HOW WE WOULD BEST DESCRIBE IRVINE WELSH
--A decent fellow

HOW IRVINE WELSH DOES RESEARCH FOR HIS WORK
--Google

HOW "GOOGLE” SOUNDS WHEN IT IS SAID BY SOMEONE FROM SCOTLAND
--Pretty much the same

OUR FAVORITE LINE FROM THE BEDROOM SECRETS OF THE MASTER CHEFS
--"Love and money are the only things worth fawin oot ower, eh, chaps?”

ONE WORD IRVINE WELSH USED TO DESCRIBE TONY BLAIR
--"Opportunist”

THE SUBJECT OF THE LATEST PLAY WRITTEN BY IRVINE WELSH, BABYLON HEIGHTS
--What happens when the midget actors from The Wizard of Oz get locked in their hotel room and can't get out

DID WE MAKE THAT UP?
--No, that's really what the play is about, which is awesome

THINGS WE THOUGHT IRVINE WELSH WOULD SAY OR MENTION BUT HE, DISAPPOINTINGLY, DID NOT
--"cunt”
--"the fitba”
--"trainers”
--heroin
--Sean Connery
--Highlander

Irvine Welsh @ Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, tonight @ 7:30 pm, FREE