Wow. I was actually hoping the homeless people would keep people like this guy out of my close-in NE neighborhood. He's more of a loser than any of these people he seems to hate so much. Way to kick people while they're down.

Shouldn't be too hard to find this tool and give him the Fila dental plan--his coiffure tells me Tube patron, his clothes scream Buffalo Exchange employee, and his myspace has a map of his neighborhood on it. Time for some mob-vigilante justice, mayhaps?

I'd rather he just took the site down and said "sorry".

WW reader. Typical.
(The suggestion of mob-vigilante justice, however impotent, is equally typical blog comment bullshit.)

Isn't this (Blogtown) the same website that posted a story about a man found dying, on fire, with a joke about The Human Flame?

I guess some misfortune is just too funny, eh?

Your tsk-tsking, "I wish he'd say sorry" stuff is both too tepid a response to this jagoff, and really silly in light of your publication's dedication to mocking everything.

Sunless:I'm with you on the mock-mock-mocking—I just don't accept responsibility for any "Fila Dental Plans" you may dish out. Hence my tsk'ing: because kicking the shit out of someone for what they wrote is BAD, in almost all circumstances.

Matt--I agree. My humor in this case was a bit mean-spirited. I don't condone vigilante justice. I won't be dishing anything out, save sarcasm, even when it doesn't translate via blogcomment.

Maybe I'll just steal his shoes?

I really don’t see a problem with this guy’s page. I wish Giuliani was my mayor. Maybe he could bring some balls to this pussy ass city. All bums should be taken to “Bum Ranch Nevada� where they can drink, fight and be merry-and I don’t have to step in their feces.

I posted the human torch entry and have subsequently learned the identity of said torch. Am I sorry I made the post? No. Am I sad for the person who died? Yes. Humor is often the only way to deal with profound tragedy. Ever read Shakespeare?
This guy is a fuckwhit. It is infinitely worse to antagonize a human in suffering than it is to antagonize ant food unless you actually believe the antiquicated real estate-gobbling old guard of body-linked-to-soul bullcrap. Me? Feed me to a rabid stingray. Light me afire and launch me, diseased, into my enemy's camp. Feed me to havalinas. Anything but the coffin-bound missionary position in death.

May bum Hitler's unfortunate coiffe be urinated on by a thousand gallons of Richard's Wild Irish Rose piss.

Not only is he a complete stroke, but that is, hands-down, the ugliest myspace page I've ever seen. While I wouldn't condone a violent act against him, I would love to be there when his sheltered existence is dealt a crippling blow and he sees life from the other side.

I've read Shakespeare.

You're no Shakespeare. To be fair, I'm not either.

I'm all for cruel humor. Shakespeare may have ridiculed the folly and ignominy of man, but that didn't preclude compassion.

A parodic or sarcastic attitude--the kind in your Human Torch piece--is not my problem. It's just when that's ALL there is--ironic distance from real suffering--I see cruelty without wit or empathy or even sympathy.

And yes, a dead man could care less about your jokes, soul or no soul I'd wager. But people leave other people behind. And they, soul or no soul, might care a little bit.

This is over the top and disgusting.

However, while I don't have a problem with people sleeping or hanging out in my neighborhood, I really wish they wouldn't take a shit in my yard and leave their garbage laying all over the place.

Seriously, if people could just confine their stuff to their shopping cart, and throw their garbage into a dumpster...

This is also my neighborhood and those "homeless guys" are easily some of our bestest neighbors. They watch after our shit, they give me big grins everyday, they give our cats love and pets, they ran asshole homeless dudes outta the hood when they come around and started drinking and sleeping in our foyer...and hey nimrod, many of em aren't homeless!!!!! They live there too, like in REAL HOUSES THAT THEIR FAMILIES OWN, so fuck off and go rent over near SE Clinton.

Totally, move to SE Clinton. That's what I did and I haven't seen a homeless person in 4 years! I didn't even know there were any left in this town!?

...wait, I take that back. I think I saw one the other day when I was visiting a friend in North Portland who had just purchased a $400,000 home over there.

I live really close to this dude and have never had a problem with the homeless population. This is inner NE, and while in a perfect world it'd be nice to not have walk around some guy passed out on the sidewalk, it's the trade-off for living here.

I've know about half his "friends", but I don't remember meeting him. I suppose I probably have at some point.

here's his myspace, though, you can write him there and ask for an interview:
http://www.myspace.com/donutplains

He only has 20 myspace friends. I run a profile of a dog turd that has a billion friends... from his appartment window one could totally figure out where he lives and egg the fuck out him.

I've asked him to get in touch, through his Myspace page. Let's see how brave he really is....

Yes, good job Matt.

You know, I was thinking more about this asshole and how when those "homeless guys" smile, say hi, joke around and wave at me everyday when I come home from yet another shit day of work, they are always far more polite and giving human beings than all the moron hipsters and yuppie joggers who will stare down at the ground and/or look away and act like antisocial nerds when they--eek--pass on the sidewalk. The max these dorks can give is perhaps a grunt of acknowledgement if confronted with a terrifying, "How're you doing?"

Something tells me this 20 year old dork would be that same sort of "neighbor".

So I am the one who created this page and I can see that people on both sides have totally lost sight of what the page is about. I don't really see how I could make it any clearer on the page. It is the "Homeless People on N.E. Schuyler Street", not "The Homeless People in Portland", or "The Homeless". This page is specifically directed to the loud, obnoxious, and rude drunks that come up and down this street at night, the assholes who don't have a shred of decency to pick up their garbage, or even close the lid on a dumpster so my apartment and everyone else's isn't reeking of garbage when they wake up in the morning. I saw above how Mr. Davis has blocked out that gentlemen's face, the guy I found passed out in a yard across the street. He felt the photo was "invasive". As invasive as crawling into a stranger's yard and passing out until 1 p.m.? There is no "trade off" I see here either. I understand that homelessness is a problem in the city and inner city. But being complacent about the ones who want to abuse the street that other people live on too is no fucking trade off I'm going to agree to. I have gone out before to talk to these guys about how rude, inconsiderate, and disruptive they are and you know what happened? They were back two nights later doing the same shit. And they are still doing it today.

For the record—the guy's bravely gotten in touch. Suggestions for questions I might ask him are welcome!

I want to apologize for joking about perpetrating violence against you (Homeless myspace guy). Uncalled for, really. I was trying to be funny, maybe like you're trying to be funny, and I was wrong.

I think my main problem here is one of privacy. Interestingly, a somewhat similar (to my mind) case up in Seattle got me all riled up this week. Some guy posted a fake craigslist personal and posted the responses (pictures and email addresses included) to his blog. Now, you (Homeless myspace guy) did not snare these guys like the craigslist ass, nor did you ply them with booze like the Bumfight losers, but posting pictures unbeknownst to the subjects, pictures of something as private as sleeping, is creepy and disrespectful and mean.

Ask him where he got that hairtcut that was "cool" for about ten seconds four years ago.

Ask him if he realizes that the "trade-off" for living in a CITY is dealing with bad smells, loud noises, and yes, some fucked up individuals. Ask him why he doesn't move back into his parents basement in Beaverville and leave these deviant homeless folks behind.

Ask him to back up his statement that most homeless people "choose" to live like this.

I'd like to comment that his backpedalling and spinning in his comment here is fucking ludicrous. Read his comments on the site; far more honest than his laughable shit above (which, if that were all he was concerned about, I'd tend to actually agree with him...but he is a far more cruel, unyielding bitch as evidenced by his page).

And I'm the one who wrote the post over on MetBlogs - a friend of mine sent me the CL link 'cause I, too, live in the neighborhood - mere blocks from Myspace guy.

See, there's a way to co-exist. If you treat the less fortunate around us like human beings; they'll return the favor more often than not.

Since I put my recycling out throughout the week, we have a regular crowd coming through. Yet stuff that accidentally gets left outside stays there until we put it away; and the trash that's continually left on the lawn (including dog shit) definitely comes from the so-called 'upstanding citizens' in the 'hood - and NOT the homeless people I see every day.

*Those* are the people I have no qualms about taking on - the people who have all kinds of advantages, yet figure the world needs to clean up after them. Sound familiar, Myspace guy?

I too live mere blocks from this guy and can also vouch that there are far too many Irvington dog owners who haven't gotten the memo about picking up the dog shit in those designer plastic bags. I'd much rather pass by a drunk passed-out guy's shoes in the sidewalk rather than step in some inbred terrier's shit on my way out the door to work.

Does anyone know anybody who actually lives on the street, with an opinion either way about this Myspace page? I'd like to hear from them—on 503 294 0840.

Until I read this stuff I thought I was the only one who thought he was a spoiled brat! It's nice to know Portland isn't full of heartless bastards! :)

I like how it's the same peoeple ripping on me through this whole posting.

I don't see the big issue here. If you're asleep in the street, you have no privacy. If you're going to make a big mess by digging through my garbage, I'd be pissed off too. At least have the courtesy to pick up after yourself. I have no problem with helping people who need help, but if people are disrespectful to each other or ungrateful for the help they ask for, why would anyone want to continue to help? I don't think it's helping at that point. Regardless, I think it's fine if the guy wants to post pictures of the people in his neighborhood. However, tying the guys shoes in knots is not something I would have done. If it's truly causing problems, post no trespassing signs and call the cops if they violate that, maybe that would work.

Geez Ruth, how about a sit-lie ordinance? You should run for city council. You'd fit right in.

The Myspace Admin. deleted the profile. So I posted it again. The URL is http://www.myspace.com/homelessonschuyler

Thanks for posting my comment on your page. Anyway, the gist of the joke was that you would be easy to track down because people with hair that passe tend to hang out at Tube, and guys with clothes that generically hip tend to work at Buffalo Exchange. Not exactly a ba-dum-dum kind of punchline, but, you know, thought I'd explain it to you.

I would ask this guy what it is that HE contributes to his community. He rips on the homeless for not contributing, so what is it that he does for those around him? I hope his myspace page is not the answer...

He OBVIOUSLY works for the willamette week...The article about "stealing your own bike" bombed, so they thought up this and tested it out on craigslist/myspace. Willamette Weekers....what will they think of next to make us puke?

Some guy is mean. So freaking what.

Anyone who advocates violence and retribuion against him is a far worse person.