FACT: Richard Karn is 7 feet tall but co-star Tim Allen made him stand in a deep hole during shoots

FACT: Co-star Tim Allen once told co-star Jonathan Taylor Thomas that he was making him "wish Hitler had gone after kids instead of Jewish people." To which co-star Richard "Al Borland" Karn quipped "you know what I like, Tim? Justice. I like justice and I believe that the bald eagle is the most glorious animal on the planet, soaring high above the Sierras, clutching a snake and an olive branch in his beak, looking for dead field mice to feed on." Home Improvement was canceled that very same day. Richard Karn, tragically, took his own life that night but was reborn the next day as a tougher, smarter, sexier man with an even thicker beard and jackhammers for arms. And so goes the power of Richard Karl. Hail to the chief. Hail sweet, sweet prince.

FACT: Richard Karl can give birth to human children--all of which are born with beards and an uncanny knowledge of tools, Jesus, and industrial hemp products.

FACT: Richard Karn invented "love."

FACT: Richard Karn can turn into a dog if need be. like if he finds dog food somewhere and wants to eat it, or if he wants to exit out a doggie door.

FACT: Richard Karn wrote all the Harry Potter books--and every other book ever written. All of them. Even the bible.

FACT: Richard Karn invented strawberries, kindness, and lobbied to ban the bomb (and bras!)

FACT: Richard Karn dropped himself on Hiroshima and ended WWII. He also loves going to SeaWorld

FACT: Richard Karn loves to share and thinks that lobster/tomato bisque soup should be cooked slow and carefully.

FACT: Richard Karn created Maine out of one of his own ribs.

FACT: Richard Karn named Africa.

FACT: Richard Karn was once married to Princess Diana, but they kept their love a secret. She broke up with him when he mused idly about shaving off his beard and she promptly broke up with him. Then he killed her.

FACT: Richard Karn gets sad sometimes. Just like me and you.

FACT: Richard Karn invented candy and then made it delicious so all the children of the world would be happy. Then he made cauliflower disgusting and laughed about it for a week. His laugh shook the bushes and all the birds fell to their deaths. He still cries about this sometimes on quiet nights when all he hears are his own damn gears turning and all he sees is pitch blackness and the floating faces and dead and vanquished victims.