Yep, that’s a penis tacked to a pole, on NE 20th. Good thing it’s Saturday, because this might be NSFW. But most of you aren’t at W, I hope.

Noticed something today in Portland? Send a pic to todayinpdx@portlandmercury.com, and we’ll post one each day on Blogtown.

If you haven’t already, be sure to hit up the Mercury Podcast page and in particular HUMPY’S SOUL SHOW in which I play some awesome and rare cuts from Mr. Dynamite himself, the godfather of soul, JAMES BROWN—as well as provide some very interesting trivia about JB’s testicles. Wanna know more? THEN LISTEN TO IT HERE! And in the meantime, wet that whistle with some video of James Brown in his prime performing Sex Machine and Soul Power!

Holy crap! President Bush has declared Oregon to be a major disaster zone! Shit! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!

The declaration opens up federal money for areas in the state affected by November’s floods and landslides. Which happened at the beginning of November. Two months ago. Which shows just how much the Bush Administration has learned about expediency from the Katrina Hurricane.

At any rate, this means one thing and one thing only: Let’s get to looting!

I got a nice surprise in the mail yesterday: A rental increase notice from my landlord. My neighbors got one, too. I’m guessing rent for everyone in our complex—except maybe the two newest tenants—is going up $50 a month.

It seems my landlord—a nice guy, who takes good care of his tenants—is a smart businessman, who’s taking advantage of the fact that Portland’s in a landlord’s rental market. The vacancy rate is so low—3.4 percent in September, and projected to get as low as 2.9 percent later next year—that the market is in landlords’ favor. They can raise the rent, and tenants either have to dig deeper in their pockets, or find someplace else to live. But with choices limited due to the tighter vacancy rates, I know I’m not anxious to look for a new place.

And even if I did find a new place, my landlord probably wouldn’t mourn our moving: When the unit next to ours was vacant, he told me that dozens of people showed up to the open house. He’d have that place re-rented faster than a new coat of paint could dry.

Wow. Someone who apparently doesn’t like reporters too much (so I won’t link to their blog—they might not like the legal attention, if I’ve understood correctly) has managed to get inside Portland’s Nuclear bunker, and taken photos! Here, again, is the bunker in 1957:And here it is NOW. Someone’s painted a psychedelic fresco on the wall where the map used to be:You can make out that it’s the same room by comparing the shape of the distinctive ceiling tiles from the two pictures, and the entire place looks like it was left in a hurry—overturned desks all over the place, that kind of thing. It’s all creepy as shit, if you ask me, straight out of Michael Crichton:We are so going down there.

Two weeks ago, I wrote about the massive number of Measure 37 land-use claims that were flooding the city, including two—oddly—from cemetery owners. In the article, I pointed out that the size and sophistication of the claims were going to make them harder for the city to fight, meaning city council may have to decide to grant some of them or pay out compensation for loss in property value.

But even before city council is faced with that decision, the claims are already costing the city tens—if not hundreds—of thousands of dollars in processing costs. Chris Dearth, the city’s M37 manager, says he’s had to bring on additional staff in order to meet the 180 day deadline on every claim—and those are labor hours the city will have to fund or divert from elsewhere.

Plus, Mayor Potter is now asking for an additional $45,000 to pay for appraisal services from Palmer, Groth & Pietka Valuation, Inc., which has done several appraisals on M37 claims in the past. The additional money could just be the start.

Of course, Portland’s woes are a drop in the bucket to other jurisdictions—our friends in Washington County have 593 claims on 20,497 acres.

Slog and Squirrels are still in a statistical dead heat, and Slog—via Dan Savage—is weirdly trying to throw the race by insisting Slog readers vote for squirrels.

We cannot stand for this. Squirrels are evil, and must be defeated. The squirrels of Capitol Hill, my Seattle home for seven years, are particularly evil. One used to taunt me from a tree outside my window. He threw a nut at my head once, the little bastard. Slog, on the other hand, has never thrown a nut at my head.

Vote SLOG! The polls close at 5 pm. Rumor has it you can vote again today, even if you voted yesterday.

I’ve written before about the city water bureau’s blog and how prolific its writers are, but what I haven’t mentioned before is 1. it’s weird that the water bureau has the most frequently updated blog in city government, and 2. it’s pretty rad.

In the last three days I’ve learned about plans by two U.S. companies to start selling nicotine-laced water (more info here), hands-free faucets, and a crazy photo of the truck that fell into the sinkhole. There are also some pretty rad photos of Bull Run Lake and the water facilities up there. Between that and the history section, it’s a surprisingly entertaining read.

Why do I mention this? Because the mayor’s blog hasn’t been updated since December 6 and the charter review blog is just hanging around waiting for comments. (Actually, the best government blog is probably Sam Adams’, but that just seems so, well, obvious.)

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to find some nicotine water.

It’s time to get crackin’ on your New Year’s Eve plans. Check out these events for inspiration…

PINK MARTINI—Can’t get enough of Pink Martini? Lucky for you, they are playing two shows tonight with Kitty Carlisle Hart. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 224-4400, 7 & 10:30 pm, $27.50-65

LIFESAVAS—The trusty Lifesavas are bringing down the house tonight with Sandpeople and DJ Kez. Berbati’s, 10 SW 3rd, 248-4579, 9:30 pm, $20

STRIPPARAOKE NEW YEARS BALL!—Ring in the New Year right—with naked ladies dancing all around you while you drunkenly sing your ass off. Devil’s Point, 5305 SE Foster, 774-4513, 9 pm, FREE

FIR BALL 2006—This partizzle includes Helio Sequence and Stars of Track and Field. Plus enjoy Ohmega Watts on the lounge decks, and DJ Safi on the patio. Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 231-9663, 8 pm-2 am, $20-$25

QUASI—With the Joggers, Grails, and DJ Dantronix. Need we say more? This show is gonna rock! Disjecta, 230 E Burnside, 286-9449, 9 pm, $10

LOOKING FOR A DANCE PARTY?—Your best bet is Copy, Dat’r, DJ Beyonda, Flaspar, and DJ BJ all under one roof. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 239-7639, 8 pm, $8-10

PILLOW FIGHT!—If you happen to be out in Linnton on New Year’s Eve, bring a pillow to the Community Center for a pillow fight and midnight champagne toast. 10614 NW St. Helens Rd, 286-4990, 9:30 pm, free

HOCKEY!—Tonight the Winter Hawks are taking on the Thunderbirds. Rose Garden, 300 N Winning Way, 236-4295, 5 pm, $6.25-$20.25

GET DIRTY—With Filthy White Trash, The Altarboys, 48 Thrills, and Portland’s all-girl roller derby leaugue—The Rose City Rollers. Satyricon, 125 NW 6th, 7 pm, $7

MARCH ON!—Tonight MarchFourth Marching Band is performing with all their usual fun-filled tricks—plus a balloon drop at midnight! w/3 Leg Torso, Heroes & Villains; Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell, 284-8686, 9 pm, $15

FUNNY THEATER—Happy F**king Holidays is a handful of twisted, short holiday-themed plays. Tonight, laugh and rejoice that the holiday season is finally over. Coho Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh, 922-2098, 7 pm, $21

LESBOS!—Get your groove on with the hiphop-o-liscious Queer Grrls Dance Party with DJ Saffronica. Plus, how can you go wrong with a roomful of chicks kissing at midnight?! Zaytoon, 2236 NE Alberta, 284-1168, 9 pm, $10

LIONS + TIGERS + BEARS!—Sedition magazine’s full-scale circus and carnival includes a zany crew of Victorian freaks to entertain you. Music provided by DJ PAN-AM and Mattress. Someday Lounge, 125 NW 5th, 248-1030, 9 pm, $5-15 sliding scale based on costume

SO CHIC!—Dress up in your fancy cocktail dress and welcome 2007 in style while you dance to music by DJ Evil 1 and DJ Chicken George. Bettie Ford Lounge, 1135 SW Washington, 445-8331, $25

Pitchfork has released their massive list of “The 100 Best Songs of 2006” (complete with mp3s and videos), and to the surprise of perhaps only themselves, listed Justin Timberlake’s “My Love” as the #1 best song of the year. This apologizing for liking Justin Timberlake horse-poop has got to stop. If anybody is still hanging on to their weak-ass preconceptions of JT’s boy-band days, they deserve the boring and ignorant hell-hole in which they currently reside.
Speaking of lists, be sure to check out this week’s Mercury for a turd-ton of top tens supplied by Portland’s moviest and shakiest (however, if they didn’t include JT in their top ten they should be ignored. I’M SERIOUS. Because that means they are pretentious pricks.)
ALSO! While one can argue about certain choices that Pitchfork made (JT not being one of them), I think we can all agree that placing THE BLOW (#55) right behind that British loudmouth skank LILY ALLEN (#54) is a stroke of heresy. Can someone please tell me what everyone sees in her lame-o Paris Hilton-esque reggae pop? And those clunky sneakers paired with party dresses have GOT TO GO!

AND ANOTHER THING”¦ Okay, I’ve run out of things to complain about.

I started out trying to compile my best and worst list, and realized that even the most no-brainer on my “best” list (um, Kate Moss) turned out to be a challenge when searching for an on-the-street internet photo that I could specifically really get behind—for the record, I think the one of her trooping through the mud at that music fest in Wellies is the closet one can get to capturing that ease that really makes her stand out. So I decided to skip to the “worst,” of which I can barely bring myself to limit to five, and even so have to include a few honorable mentions. (But in case you’re curious, my other bests were Nicole Richie (you shut up and leave her alone), Justin Timberlake (I could probably be talked out of this one), Jacinda Barrett (my love for her is disproportionate to her level of fame, but there you have it), and Daniel Craig (I surprised myself with this one but the more I think about it the more convinced I am that he is a rare master of dressing well and masculine, without a touch of the ridiculous nor of slovenliness), with Jennifer Lopez as an honorable mention (marriage and quiet seem to suit her)).

And now the worst:

Sob, sob, a million sobs as the real-life Johnny Depp continues to accomplish what should be impossible: Entirely canceling out the formidable Depp sex appeal through heinous crimes of accessorization. I’m convinced he’s doing it on purpose as an in-joke with Vanessa Paradis.

The rest of the travesties after the break:

Effortlessly plucked from the internets. I am most certain Brooke Hogan has never not looked like a complete fool.

Some things just can't be undone, Jared Leto. Silver crocs are one of them.

I know, I love Beyonce too. But I can not shake the conviction that she is always wearing something that was meant primarily as a costume.

I might find Victoria Beckham's complete lack of perspective endearing if she didn't seem like such a frigid bitch.

Runners Up: Fergie, Christina Aguilera, Natalie Imbruglia, Eva Longoria.

Yesterday Blogtown brought you a 1957 cold war film set in Portland, based on the premise of a nuclear bomb hitting the city. The movie featured then mayor, Terry Schrunk, who happens to be related to current District Attorney Mike Schrunk, in a NUCLEAR BUNKER somewhere in Portland:But where, I wondered, was this mysterious BUNKER OF DOOM? Well, Schrunk junior (Mike) tells us it was Kelly Butte, which is between Powell and Division at 103rd and Clinton, just East of the 205. Portland’s former “civil defense center,” it later became Portland’s 911 call center until it closed in 1992. This is Kelly Butte today, with creepy “do not enter” wire fences:And here’s the earth-covered entrance, even more spooky:These pics are courtesy of local blogger, cyclotram, who has more on the Butte. Blogtown is talking with the City’s parks bureau to get inside, but in the mean time, anyone who a.can help us get in, b.fancies coming along when we go, c.wants to club together and buy Portland’s only half-functioning nuclear bunker (it’s allegedly capable of withstanding a 60 megaton blast)—let me know.

Noun, an adorable shop on SE Belmont and 33rd, will soon be selling goodies from St. Cupcake! On February 2, to be precise.

saint cupcake belmont is set to open it’s doors on February 2, 2007! 3300 se belmont portland oregon 97214

hours: tuesday thru saturday 10am to 8pm
sunday 10am to 6pm
closed mondays. sorry.

as we iron out the details of our second shop, saint cupcake would like to thank all you eastsiders for your patience. we had hoped in our heart of hearts to be open by the holidays, (you know, the big ones in december) but for a variety of reasons it is taking a bit longer. we think it will only make the opening sweeter, and after all saint cupcake is actually meeting a goal of “by the holidays” because we open on GROUNDHOG DAY!

as you read on, you will see that saint cupcake belmont will be a much different experience for you cupcakers; it won’t be a cafe, but we know you’re not going to want to miss out on all the fun we have in store.

(P.S.—Noticed something today in Portland? Send a pic—from your camera phone, your fancy digital SLR, or something you’ve scribbled with MS Paint, if you’re old-school like that—to todayinpdx@portlandmercury.com, and we’ll post one each day on Blogtown.)

In our comment section below, supply a HEE-LARIOUS caption for this sad, and kind of disturbing photo. (NOTE: Any comment about Mercury news reporter Matt Davis is OFF LIMITS, and any attempt to make a joke about the size of his ass will be immediately expunged.)

Okay, so this is a few days late for Xmas, but in the spirit of the season, here we go: The Star Wars Holiday Special, now edited down to a thankfully brief five minutes. (The original’s two hours long, and—Mercury Fun Factâ„¢!—was the inspiration for The Ring: If you watch the whole thing, a creepy little girl crawls out of your TV and kills you in the most painful fashion imaginable. True!)

This is kind of why I love YouTube: While a profoundly embarrassed George Lucas has been trying to erase the bewilderingly horrible Holiday Special from existence for decades—I have it on good authority Lucas himself actually torched some poor dweeb’s apartment when he heard there was a VHS copy of the special in there—it will live forever on the internet. So we’ll always be able to watch Bea Arthur awkwardly dance with Greedo, hear an obviously high/drunk Carrie Fisher sort-of sing a song about love or something, and gaze upon the terrifying visage of Lumpy, Chewbacca’s creepy-ass midget son. Which I guess is good. As long as I don’t have to watch it. (Also: Jefferson Starship!)

Also, Mark Hamill looks fucked up. Is that eyeliner?

Thanks to Shawn Levy’s Oregonian movie blog, Mad About Movies.

Screw 2006! Here are the most awesomest 10 songs of 1996 (with video evidence, of course).

1) Spice Girls— Wannabe

2) Smashing Pumpkins—Tonight, Tonight

Even more 1996 deliciousness after the jump!

3) 2Pac & Dr. Dre— California Love

4) Los Del Rio — Macarena

5) Bone Thugs N Harmony — The Crossroads

6) Blackstreet — No Diggity

7) Backstreet Boys — Stop Playing Games (With My Heart)

8) Mariah Carey — Always Be My Baby

9) Alanis Morissette — Ironic

10) Toni Braxton — Unbreak My Heart

1996"¦ Best Year EVER!

Alex James of Blur thinks I’m cool. He’s abandoned being a vegetarian after 17 years by slaughtering a lamb:

Chopping up my first lamb stayed vividly on my mind for a few days. The anatomy of a sheep is pretty similar to our own, really. I couldn’t scratch my ribs without the image of that immaculate carcass springing to mind. I thought about it involuntarily as I lay in bed at night. But, boy, those chump chops were good.

Ousted dictator Saddam Hussein will be hanging from a noose no later than Saturday, says Iraqi judge. Ahh. Then allllllll of our troubles will be over”¦

Ear-bitin’ boxer Mike Tyson was arrested early this morning for DUI and possession of cocaine. Does this mean Rocky VII isn’t going to happen??

Oregon’s most wily identity thief is finally brought to justice. I don’t about you, but that fake nose and moustache totally fooled me.

Chinese snakes can predict earthquakes with head-banging. In a related story, heavy metal fans use the same method at a Slayer concert to predict “AWESOME”!

Hollywood rests easy today after learning that brother/sister actors Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal narrowly escape a late night hotel blaze. No, Jake was not in his underwear.

Burgerville made the next issue of Forbes, in a piece that explores the fast food chain’s “fresh, local, sustainable” vibe.

Being a good citizen is expensive. Burgerville now picks up 95% of the health insurance costs for 385 hourly employees. That adds $1.5 million to its annual compensation bill. It shuns trans fats, and Mears has the restaurants’ used oil converted into biodiesel. He pays $200,000 a year extra for electricity, because his electron currents come from nearby windmills. When Burgerville stopped offering huckleberry milk shakes because Mears decided it was harvesting too many berries, customers were disappointed, but the move became a marketing play. “At first people didn’t care about what was local and sustainable, but now the public is changing,” says Mears.

Mears knows his public. Half of his restaurants are in Portland, Ore., a city that has an Office of Sustainable Development and solar-powered parking meters.

Mmmm, Burgerville.

Activists planning a die-in for Pioneer Square, to mark the 3,000th soldier killed in Iraq, have called for the action on January 6. They believe the 3,000th death will occur before this Saturday, but there’s a conflicting event in Pioneer Square this Saturday.

From the press release:

Demonstration to Mark 3,000 U.S. Soldiers Killed in Iraq Number exceeds live lost at World Trade Center

People from all walks of life will mark the death of 3,000 American soldiers killed in Iraq by holding a Die-In at Pioneer Courthouse Square on Saturday, January 6th, 2007 at noon. The protestors will simply lay down on the ground and pretend to be dead. The idea is to bring attention to death toll in Iraq.

Organizers expects between 100 and 300 people to show up for the demonstration, as opposition to the war is growing. Even Republican Senator Gordon Smith openly questioned the war on the floor of the US Senate, saying that the war strategy is a failure and that war itself might be “illegal.”

The 3,000 mark is significant because it now outstrips the number of people killed in attacks on 9/11/2001 but the real death toll far exceeds that number. It doesn’t include the deaths in Afghanistan, contractor deaths or deaths of people from outside the United States. A recent report published in the British medical journal the Lancet estimated the number of Iraqi deaths at over 600,000.

The theme of the protest is "No more deaths. No more dollars."� The monetary cost of the war could be as high as $2 Trillion according to a paper recently published by the Nobel prize-winning economist Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Blimes, a Harvard professor. Mr Stiglitz told the British newspaper the Guardian that despite the staggering costs laid out in their paper the economists had erred on the side of caution. "Our estimates are very conservative, and it could be that the final costs will be much higher. And it should be noted they do not include the costs of the conflict to either Iraq or the UK." Stiglitz said that one quarter of the war budget would have fixed Social Security for the next seventy-five years, "Or just think what we could have done to stop global warming if we had spent that two trillion developing cheaper photovoltaic cells to convert solar energy into electricity."�

Update: I originally posted this yesterday evening, but I wanted to give it a bump up since the comments are blowing up—and for once Blogtown has a mature, intelligent discussion on its hands. Even Randy Leonard has jumped back in, and he’s supposed to be on vacation.

Earlier today, the Portland Development Commission released the results of yet another appraisal on a controversial plot of land at SW Third and Oak. The land, owned by PDC, was appraised in 2005 at negative $2.7 million—the agency thus planned on giving the land away for free to the Trammel Crow development company. The negative value of course raised red flags, especially when the land was later appraised by the city at $1.82 million.

This prompted Commissioner Randy Leonard to call for an audit of the PDC’s deal, leading to a public spat with Mayor Potter last June. Leonard has since demanded that the PDC supply all documents and emails related to the deal.

The appraisal released today—resulting from a partnership between PDC and the Bureau of Labor and Industry, and conducted by Day Appraisal—shows the land valued at $1.12 million. Here’s Leonard’s response:

I am disappointed that they somehow think the issue is over what the property is appraised at. It is not.

The issue is a culture at PDC that is clearly overly comfortable with the developers who benefit from the PDC’s lack of clarity about who it is they really represent.

PDC clearly allowed Trammell Crow to develop the negative appraisal in order to justify giving it to them…why? I don’t know definitively, but I suspect to circumvent the city councils affordable housing policy and the
states prevailing wage law. …

Until the PDC gets that they are to deal in a transparent, open and thoughtful manner when doling out the publics money and resources, they can get appraisals until the cows come home and I will not be satisfied.

Is it just me, or have I seen this before? So now the Melvins have their own sneaker. Can anyone have a sneaker? I think the Mercury should have a sneaker. Think how cool the design could be, incorporating our greatest hits of covers, maybe. Who do you think should issue it? Nike or Adidas? Design ideas?

I mean god, we can do better than this yawn fest:

In the interest of furthering the treatment of fashion as being kin to other realms of fine arts, I relay the following:

I am proud to be working in partnership with artist Arnold Pander for an interactive art ceremony and fashion show! This event features Arnold doing live art in a free all ages show, featuring Fashions by Piper Ewan, DJ Allon from Tokyo, art by Marne Lucas ‘sitting city’ Casey Burns ‘denziens’ and Arnold Pander ‘only for seeing’

when: Friday 29 December 2006 7-10p (ceremony starts at 9p sharp!)
where: Mark Wooley Gallery 128 NE Russell (at the Wonder Ballroom)

“Art ceremony”“¦ hmm.

Never being one for the Sunny Day Real Estate, it took Jeremy Enigk’s first solo album The Return of the Frog Queen to make me see the light. And boy, what a nice warm light it is. Enigk is playing a Low Dough show ($5) at Dante’s tonight and I think it’s in your best interest to go. Seriously, don’t miss it.

Check out what we had to say about the man in this issue.

Who we should hang after we hang Saddam Hussein?

God.

Saddam Hussein found guilty of executing fewer than 200 men and boys after an assassination attempt was made on the dictator’s life near the village where these unfortunate men and boys lived. They weren’t guilty of any wrongdoing—but that didn’t stop Hussein from having these men and boys rounded up, tortured, and executed. Saddam was sending a message to all of Iraq:

“Don’t want fuck with me, people, because that’s going to make me mad and when I’m mad I fucking kill people—yes, even people that had nothing to do with whatever it was that made me mad in the first place. So not only should you avoid pissing me off, you need to keep an eye on your friends, neighbors, and fellow citizens to make sure they don’t piss me off. Because if they do, then a bunch of folks are gonna die—and that might include you and your whole family.”�

Saddam’s crime was a horrific—it’s the same crime that got hundreds of Nazis strung up after WWII. When a despot or an occupying power or a rebel army tortures and kills innocent people to send a message to, say, the population of occupied France or Kosovo or Iraq, that’s what known as reprisal killings, and that’s a war crime. And it mystifies me that American fundamentalists constantly accusing Jesus Christ—the Lamb of God, the Prince of Peace, the Savior of All Mankind, etc.—of engaging in reprisal killings and summary executions on a scale that would make a genocidal maniac like Hussein blush.

Remember last December’s Asian Tsunami? How do we account for such suffering? Children ripped from the arms of weeping parents, wives drowned before the eyes of their helpless husbands, entire villages washed away, supermodels stranded in trees? The American Taliban rushed on to cable news programs to explain it all for us: God was angry about the legalization of gay marriage in Massachusetts. So God tortured and executed a quarter of a million people on the other side of the planet.

And remember Katrina? Remember this image:

The American Taliban told us that God sent a Giant Killer Fetus in the form of a hurricane to send a message to the United States about our tolerance of abortion and to New Orleans about its tolerance of “Southern Decadence,”� a gay party that takes place in the French Quarter every year. But the Giant Killer Fetus didn’t inundate abortion clinics or drown Planned Parenthood counselors or pro-choice Democrats. Nope, the Giant Killer Fetus sent by God to punish us for choice and circuit parties drowned helpless little old ladies in nursing homes and small black children in attics. America’s abortion clinics survived unscathed—as did the entire French Quarter, home to Southern Decadence and all of New Orlean’s gay bars.

Likewise the Northridge Earthquake in 1994. Pat Robertson said it was an expression of God’s anger at the American porn industry, which is located near that quakes epicenter. Dozens of people died—not one was a porn star, director, or producer. And 9/11? God was angry at the feminists, abortionists, and gays—so he rounded up, tortured, and killed 3,000 people. Some were probably feminists and there were definitely gay people on the planes and maybe there was an abortion service provider on one of those planes or in the Pentagon (?) or an office in the World Trade Center. But the overwhelming majority—thousands of people—were “innocent” of those crimes.

Yet the very same people who tell us that God expresses his displeasure with the behavior of some by sending hurricanes and tsunamis to execute innocent people also tell us that God is all-seeing, all-knowing, and all-powerful. It seems to me that an ASAKSP God could easily drown abortion doctors and male go-go dancers if that’s what he wanted to do. But he doesn’t do that. He executes innocent people—just like Saddam did. God’s fans here on earth tell us again and again that He tortures and murders innocent people to send a message to the entire population about abortion or gays or prayer in the schools. Which makes God a war criminal. The Prince of Peace is the moral equal of a Saddam Hussein or an Adolph Hitler or a Slobodan Milosevic or a Pol Pot.

So after we hang Saddam I propose we convene an international tribunal, put God on trial, take testimony from his most ardent supporters—first up, Pat Robertson—and then hang God’s murderous, tyrannical ass before he kills again.

Banana Lee Fishbones over at Metblogs has turned up a real beauty of a cold war propoganda CBS public education film from 1957, on Google Video:
In The Day Called X, Portland, Oregon, is struck by a nuclear bomb! That’s right, THIS Portland! In Oregon! The film features real Portland people, no Communist “actors” (the late ’50s weren’t exactly the best years to be employed in Hollywood ). So: There’s footage of Portland’s mayor at the time, Terry Schrunk (who happens to be father of current District Attorney, Mike) and a host of other Portlanders, too. The film begins with a woman not bothering to read the front page of the Oregonian—some things never change. Also, as far as I can see, it features absolutely no black people. (See above). I don’t know about you, but I lap up this local history stuff—pictures of recognizable streets with no cars on them, the cops beating someone up behind a dumpster in the background…how things have changed…

You’ve been reading Savage Love for years, right? And it’s fairly safe to say that you are a better sexual partner because of the information Dan Savage provides on a weekly basis, yes? And if that’s fair to say, then you should have no problem rushing to Dan’s side in HIS TIME OF NEED.
A website in Dan’s hometown of Seattle is currently hosting an online poll to find out which is more popular on Capitol Hill: “SQUIRRELS” or Dan’s blog at the Stranger, “SLOG.” Now, nobody wants to be beaten by a fucking squirrel, so please go HERE and VOTE for SLOG NOW!
“But I don’t know anything about SLOG,” I hear you whine. Look. You know and I know that a baby-eating pedophile with tuberculosis is preferable to a fucking squirrel, so for the love of God, VOTE. It’ll take you two seconds, and it will make Dan Savage happy. IT’S THE LEAST YOU CAN DO AFTER HIS YEARS OF PUBLIC SERVICE.

“Squirrels: Probably behind 9/11.”

Know that blog you’ve been keeping detailing your sex life, with all the torrid details and specifics that nobody asked for in the first place? Turns out, it’ll not only make your mother cry, but it could get you sued.

Or will it? Individual state Supreme Courts (including California) have passed rulings upholding the rights of bloggers and message board posters to say whatever they want, but a new case could set the legal precedent for what bloggers can—and can’t—say about other people’s lives.

In 2004, Jessica Cutler was working as an aide in now-displaced Ohio Senator Mike DeWine’s office—at the same time, Cutler was writing a blog, Washingtonienne, about her sex life, which necessarily divulged details about her partners’ sex lives as well. One of them, DeWine attorney Robert Steinbuch, who apparently had a thing for spanking, went ape-poop, suing Cutler for $20 million for invasion of privacy. (He also lost his job and has since landed in Arkansas in an attempt to resuscitate his career.)

From the Guardian:

The case dating from the 2004 blog is expected to go to trial soon. In establishing whether people who keep online journals are obliged to respect the privacy of those they interact with offline, the case could have a profound effect on the content of social networking sites such as MySpace and Facebook.

“Anybody who wants to reveal their own private life has a right to do that,” said Marc Rotenberg, director of the Electronic Privacy Information Centre. “It’s a different question when you reveal someone else’s private life.”

But in filing the suit, Steinbuch will be broadcasting his private life to a far wider audience than Cutler’s relatively microscopic blog audience. In April, the judge in the case, Paul Friedman, told attorneys, “I don’t know why we’re here in federal court to begin with. I don’t know why this guy thought it was smart to file a lawsuit and lay out all of his private, intimate details.”

Ultimately, the case will decide if bloggers have a legal responsibility to protect the private lives of people they interact with. But it brings up larger questions as well—in the age of instant electronic publishing, do any of us have the right to expect that our lives will stay off the internet? Or is that just another byproduct of the modern world, in which we’re all becoming increasingly interconnected?

Cutler’s new blog is here, and her Washingtonienne archives have been saved by Wonkette here. They’re not as salacious as I was led to believe, but Cutler sounds like a real peach.

Via Huffington Post.

Huh. That was quick. Not even two weeks after opening, the Living Room Theaters—which stirred up some debate about their high ticket prices—have already dropped their prices. Evening shows used to be $15, now they’re down to $13, with matinees at $9. Plus, all movies through January 7 are down to $9. The official details:

OPENING SPECIAL — ALL MOVIES, ALL TIMES $9 (through January 7)

Evenings:
Adults - $13
Full-time Students (with Student I.D.), Professors/Teachers (with I.D.), Seniors (65+) - $9

Matinees:
First two screenings daily - $9

Film Club 10-Packs
10-ticket booklets (Save $3 per ticket) - $100

So: Is this enough of a price break to make those of you who thought the theater was too expensive reconsider? Or is it still too expensive? (As a reference point, hit the jump to see some prices from other first-run theaters in town.)

Regal Theaters (Fox Tower, Lloyd Cinemas, etc.) $6-9

Cinema 21 $4-8

Clinton St. Theater $4-6

Hollywood $4-6

Cinetopia $7.75-13.75

As for me, I still think it's too pricey (just as I think Cinetopia's too expensive), but at least they're heading in the right direction, and at least they're trying to adapt their pricing to what Portlanders can/will pay. I'm genuinely curious to see whether enough Portlanders will go to the Living Room Theaters often enough to keep them in business.

Last summer, Matt Davis reported on the trend of youth “mobs” partying in the streets, sometimes leaving property damage in their wake.

Neighbors in Montavilla reported a similar situation last Friday night, December 22. One neighbor posted this account to Montavilla’s email list:

I live just off 82nd and Mill. At around 11 pm on the 22nd I heard the number 72 bus stop in front of Ah Fongs. Not even a minute later I heard this loud noise of people yelling and screaming in front of my house. I looked out my front window and there must have been about 50 people (late teens to early twenty’s mostly men and some women) moving about to the west and jumping on parked cars. The roofs and front windshields of at least 2 cars were smashed. They were extremely upset at something and I assume that there must have been some kind of altercation on the 72 that spilled out onto the street.

The cops later gave us the official story: ” It was a juvenile party with about 100 kids. Officers shepherded them down to the MAX and onto buses and watched them disperse. There were no arrests or use of force. One officer wrote a report but it was for a drunk guy who got off a bus into the middle of this crowd of kids. The officer gave him a ride home,” according to police spokesperson Sgt. Brian Schmautz.

Now, Tom Peavey with the city’s Office of Youth Violence Prevention, says that the December 22 incident, plus incidents around Lloyd Center on December 26 and 27, indicate ” the continuance of ‘Flash Mob’ youth gathering behavior from this last spring and summer.”

On December 26, police “responded to Lloyd Center due to a disturbance, and a large number of youth were contacted by responding police.” The following evening, a young guy was was stabbed twice near Holladay Park between 7 and 8 pm, and ran across the street Lloyd Center for help. “Previous to the stabbing,” Peavey reports, “a large group of youth (30 to 50) had been involved in 2 different disturbances (fights) in Holladay between 6:15 pm and the time of the stabbing.”

Sounds to me like Portland’s youth are bored.

The hole in the ground that opened up at the junction of SE 16th and Oak on Tuesday was most likely caused by water leaked from the recently re-opened pool at nearby Buckman Elementary School, according to neighbors.The hole, which is 21 feet deep by 20 feet wide, swallowed a City maintenance truck on Tuesday afternoon, causing minor injuries, but City Officials are still unclear about the cause. According to Buckman neighborhood activist Mary Ann Schwab, neighbors had been asking the City for years where water from the school’s leaky pool was going, until it had to be closed in April 2005 after losing too much water. The school’s proximity to the sinkhole can be clearly seen in this image (there are signs to the “Buckman Pool” less than 20 feet from the hole):The pool re-opened in July this year, following $400,000 of renovation work, but Schwab says: “Anyone taking physics 101 knows leaking water has to go somewhere. When the pool was leaking last year, we just didn’t know where, but it seems we can now answer that question.”

City officials told the Oregonian this morning it’s unlikely such a large hole could have been caused by a leaky sewage main.

Um”¦ sorry about this. Somehow I managed to miss the fact that the wee Lohan does stuff. Like make Christmas albums that include songs about “Lohan Holidays” which sound like harrowing adventures of parental abuse/neglect/codependence, impromptu gynecological consultations, and lots and lots of booze and lots and lots of facials. Actually that kind of does sound like fun. Anyhow, apparently there is no official music vid on the YouTube, but this anonymous girl is as good as any lip synching stand in. I am so blessed to have completed adolescense prior to the existence of YouTube. So blessed. (Does anyone else think that the way Ali Lohan sings the verses totally rips off Remix to Ignition?)

Here’s a very funny British comedian who uses a fake lie detector machine to trick people into telling the embarassing truth on his very fake gameshow! (That poor, poor sonofabitch.)

Hat tips to Cracked!

According to this article in the Times today, the Food and Drug Administration has just concluded that “cloned livestock is ‘virtually indistinguishable’ from conventional livestock” (virtually?). This means that in a few months, cloned animal products may be widely available in restaurants and grocery stores (meat would most likely come from the offspring of cloned animals rather than the expensive-to-create clones themselves).

A decision on whether meat and milk from cloned animals would need to be labeled as such is still pending, but this article at least implies that special labels may not be required.

The pro argument is that the bestest and most meatiest and most delicious animals could be replicated and used for breeding purposes, thus improving the overall quality of the food supply. There may be some logic to that line of thought, but honestly this turns my stomach. Something like 63% of consumers polled feel the same way. We’re probably all just knee-jerk reactionaries, but seriously… ew.

“I Love Strippers,” yelps Lindsay Lohan after a party-hearty night at NYC titty bar Scores West, where she hopped up on stage before 400 onlookers and worked that pole like a gay fireman.

Shed a tear for poor pill-popper O.J. Simpson who is allegedly addicted to OxyContin, after his dispicable book (“If I’d Did It”) and special were shelved. Sources say he “has plummeted into a hellhole of heavy boozing, drug abuse and insane jealousy.” Don’t hurt our feelings and overdose, now!

After one disturbing gossip report too many, longtime Britney Spears fansite creator (WorldofBritney.com) is calling it quits. “No matter what anyone thinks, it’s very hard to maintain the respect needed to keep [this website] going.” That’s too bad”¦ will you change your mind if she shows you her vagina?

Remember last week, when all those naughty pictures of Miss Nevada surfaced, and she called her booby-licking adventures an “isolated incident?” Well, more pictures have been found. But this time it was the boob that attacked her tongue!

None other than Amanda Fritz, neighborhood activist and 2006 publicly-financed candidate for city council.

This blog is about issues I find interesting in Portland, Oregon. Its subtitle is “Portland A-Z” because the main focus is the city of Portland and the people who live, work, and play here, and I aim to be widely inclusive in encouraging everyone to feel welcome to read and comment.

Also, my older son pointed out in an epic Mother’s Day poem a few years ago that my name starts with an A, and ends with a Z.

As I’ve started writing articles, I realize that many of my posts will be longer than typical blog entries. I aim to delve into issues in detail, as often core policies are carried out (or not) in those details. Explaining complicated issues often can’t be done in a paragraph or two, and I make no apologies for refusing to dumb it down. I believe Portlanders deserve adequate, accurate information and are very capable of understanding and digesting it.

So far, she’s weighed in on local government transparency, and the city’s charter review project:

This is a huge issue coming down the pike, which deserves much more attention and time than is possible over the next three weeks - particularly since information about the proposal is not yet (as of 12/27, three weeks before the public hearing) posted on the City’s Charter Review web page.

This post should really be filed under “cute,” but alas there is no such category.

Awww!

That is all.

(hat tip to foodmaven, and visit the Moustache Factory for all your cute-moustache button needs)

A heads up came in today from the Memoir/Duchess compound:

ALL MEMOIR MERCHANDISE 20% OFF ALL HOLIDAY THINGS 40% OFF LAST DAY OF MEMOIR DECEMBER 31st DUCHESS WILL BE CLOSED FROM JANUARY 1st THROUGH 11th Yes, it’s true, there are so many things going on………While the union of Memoir and Duchess has been a sweet little chapter in Portland shopping history, extremely enjoyable for us and hopefully to you, it is time for Memoir to scoot along on its merry journey in other realms…Memoir proprietress Miss Brooke will be taking a hiatus from bestowing wonderful letterpress and handmade accessories onto us all in favor of pursuing some of her other generous talents (of which there are many). All her beautiful letterpress products, handbags, and other small treasures will flutter away and re-disperse themselves in various other shops, homes, and hearts before the year is over. But you can catch them for another week as they stand together at Memoir— We hope you come visit the enchanted kingdom of Duchess & Memoir one last time before it is gone. The last day open together will be December 31st!

It has come to my attention that Marjorie Skinner, our managing editor, is about to consume her first cup of coffee in approximately five years (she ran out of green tea). I’m just warning you all, in case she decides to post on Blogtown during her over-caffeinated delirium.

I really do.

(yum)

But I don’t like paying full price for drinks. I feel much the same way about food.

Thank-god-for-happy-hour, and this sweet Portland happy hour finder I just ran across: UrbanDrinks.com.

Like Unthirsty, UrbanDrinks allows you to search by neighborhood, time, and to look for current happy hours (places to drink on the cheap right this minute). UrbanDrinks, though, is much more comprehensive—and unlike Unthirsty, it doesn’t constantly direct me to the New Old Lompoc. The website isn’t particularly intuitive but it starts to make sense if you play around with it for a while, and it’s worth the effort.

What can make the most stoic Japanese person recoil in horror? (No, not teenagers with weird vibrating sex objects.) It’s the biggest mother-effing shark I’ve ever seen!

I am so OUTTA HERE!!

You’ll only be getting half the story if you read about Portland’s Chinese classical garden in this recent New York Times travel piece, via Alt.Portland.org. But being as how the Mercury is actually based in Portland, and not out of some publishing Xanadu in New York, we are of course best positioned to SCOOP THE NEW YORK TIMES… when it comes to covering this city’s Chinatown news. And don’t talk to me about the Asian Reporter or the Chinese Times, because I’m not listening. D’you hear?Ever since the iconic Hung Far Low restaurant (pictured, above) moved down to SE82nd last June, it turns out, Portland has been growing a second Chinatown faster than you can say “Rosie O’Donnell”. Check out this week’s Mercury, which is just rolling off the presses—to find out more.

Nope. Cuz there’s still sales on! Here’s a good one: Una (peep the cute new web site) is having “most items” in the shop at 30% off, through the rest of the month. They got the goods from lines like Clu, Mociun, Daniel McCall, and more”¦Â 

Here’s a henley dress from Clu. It’s an old-ish one but still a goody. If they’re not on your radar yet, Clu is mostly known for super soft tees and other layering pieces like this. I have a couple of their tank tops, and lately have been contemplating adding a dress to my collection. Last I spoke to Una’s proprietress, Giovanna, she was saying she ordered two of the new Clu frocks. I don’t know about you, but I’m heading down after work today to check ‘em out.

Oh, Fantastic Four. You’re so, so lame. Despite whatever the perennially befuddled and misdirected Wm. Steven Humphrey thinks, you, Fantastic Four, are the lamest group of superheroes since ever. And even with your crappy comic books aside, your movie was terrible. It was so bad that it made The Thing cry. Look:

That should make me sad—poor Thing!—but it makes me happy, because I hate The Thing, and I hate his stupid Fantastic Four superhero club.*

Luckily for no one, the sequel to Fantastic Four is coming out, and the teaser trailer just hit. Okay, so it’s kind of awesome, but that’s only because the Silver Surfer is in it. He’s silver! And he surfs! Through space! And fast! And he’s the only non-retarded thing to ever come out of a Fantastic Four comic! And whatever awesomeness he has is about to be overwhelmed by the sheer suckitude of another shit-tacular Fantastic Four movie starring the Commish in makeup that makes him look like a shuffling turd. Poor Silver Surfer!

That’s the Silver Surfer looking pissed at how bad this movie’s going to be. Note that he’s not crying. Unlike that pussy The Thing, who cries all the goddamn time.

*Please note that I have absolutely no problem with Jessica Alba, however.

If you haven’t been to the Goodfoot all month, boy have your eyes been missing a smorgasbord of pretty. The third annual Art of Musical Maintenance has been going down for the last month and will continue until January 23. There’s over 250 music posters from 40 different artists plastered over nearly every square inch of the Goodfoot’s vast upstairs pool hall. The best works, by far, are those of EMEK (who I hear has become a Portlander). Check out this…

This image is included on a Tool poster that’s being exhibited. All of Emek’s unframed prints were snapped up during the show’s opening night. But check at the bar for a list of framed prints that are STILL for sale. They’re pricy, but they’re amazing!
Get thee there.

The Goodfoot
2845 SE Stark
thegoodfoot.com
239-9292

…of schoolgirls and creepy television commercials.

Via Fleshbot. For the rest of this year’s Top 10 Sex Toys, click here.

Two weeks ago, we gave Oregon Media Insiders $100,000 in a brown paper bag. This morning, they wrote this about us:

Print finally gets busy online, with the Merc, WWeek and the Trib all getting a lot more daily and the O struggling to keep up. Lynn and Cablenut both vote for Blogtown as local media outlet blog of the year, seriously. They break so much stuff that most of you don’t even have on your radar, and they constantly crack us up when they’re not reporting on serious stuff.

In sad news, former President Gerald Ford has passed away at the ripe old age of 93. In somewhat funnier news, here is a 1996 clip of Dana Carvey pretending he’s Tom Brokaw announcing the death of Gerald Ford. Wow. Carvey was like the Nostrodamus of SNL.
(By the way, has enough time passed for us to admit Dana Carvey was sometimes REALLY funny?)

Tip o’ the hat to BWE!

Anti-war activists are planning a dramatic demonstration to mark the death toll in Iraq. Organizers hope to have at least 200 people “at Pioneer Square at noon on the Saturday after the US military death toll in Iraq reaches 3,000,”� wearing black and playing dead.

“Unless a miracle happens we’ll reach the 3,000 mark within about a week,”� one organizer emailed supporters today—the day the death toll hit 2,979 confirmed deaths.

Hopefully the protest won’t run into any snags, either. Organizers report that it was hard to secure Pioneer Square—Portland’s Living Room!—for the short event.

The people who issue permits for Pioneer Square have said that we can hold the demonstration there without a permit as long as we don’t set anything up: No tables, no mike stands, no amplified sound. We can’t even plant a banner pole.

We looked at the process for getting a permit and it would cost been between $800 and $1200. So this demonstration will be short and silent.

Yay democracy!

It’s an all-day tribute to the late James Brown here at Blog Town, and here’s a sweet little cut from an early ’70s episode of SOUL TRAIN wherein the Godfather of Soul is actually UPSTAGED by a woman whose bizarre dancing is so infectious, it makes me want to date her. (I think James digs it, too!)

Gregg Schumacher was definitely being evicted, and now he’s not—apparently, so he says, although this latest twist in an increasingly bizarre stand-off between the controversial furrier and his landlord could well change next time the wind blows.

Blogtown, along with four of Portland’s TV news stations, showed up at Schumacher Fur on 9th and SW Morrison this morning—following Saturday’s news that owner, Gregg Schumacher, was served an eviction notice last Wednesday, December 21, by his landlord, TMT development. After keeping his public waiting for more than an hour, during which time reporters were offered hot chocolate by shop staff (all declined—even Fox 12, despite the rain)—Schumacher told reporters TMT’s attorney, Alan Laster, had written to him this morning “dismissing” this Thursday’s scheduled eviction hearing at Multnomah County Court.

A representative for Multnomah County Courthouse says the eviction hearing is still scheduled for Thursday morning, December 28, but that TMT’s attorney’s can decide not to proceed, nevertheless. TMT’s attorney, Laster, is unavailable for comment, as are TMT, rapidly acquiring a reputation as Portland’s most press-shy company—but Schumacher says he is now determined to conclude his 40 per cent off “evacuation sale” and leave some time in the early spring, originally planned.

Schumacher denies earlier misleading reporters about his “decision” to leave, despite news of his official eviction, albeit now up in the air—saying the recent letter from TMT’s attorneys is the first he has heard of any eviction—once again refuting the Mercury’s view, based on conversations with sources close to the situation, that he had reached an informal agreement with TMT to leave without a fuss, following his incitement of anti-fur protesters with signs saying they should be anally electrocuted, and by holding a “protest sale.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he told Blogtown, blaming his eviction on “signage issues” outside the store.

We’ll keep you posted.

Emilie Boyles’ book—Pendulum Swing, which will supposedly tell her side of the 2006 publicly financed election brouhaha—was slated to be out in “late November,” according to her website. We pointed out in last week’s paper, dated December 21, that we were still waiting on a review copy—the book is long overdue.

Looks like Boyles has finally updated the book’s ETA on her site:

Watch for the upcoming release of her new book:

Pendulum Swing

Date pending.

Watch here for more information!

With bated breath, we will.

I know it was hard to enjoy Christmas this year, seeing as how Miss Nevada had her title stripped, due to being too sexy and all. But unlike that other prude Miss USA, our lady from Reno left behind a ton of pictures for us to study. Commence peeping here. (so NSFW)

[Eds. note: We’re pulling this post up from the weekend. Matt’s currently at Schumacher Furs, waiting for Gregg Schumacher to show up so he can ask the furrier why he’s been—shall we say—less than forthcoming with the Mercury over the past few weeks. Schumacher denied rumors that his “decision” to leave downtown was less than voluntary, until he was formally served with eviction notice this past week.

Matt reports that he’s waiting outside the shop with a few TV news crews. A Schumacher employee offered them hot chocolate. The Schumachers are supposed to clear out by 1 p.m.]

Originally posted Saturday, December 23, 9 am.
Back on November 29, Blogtown brought you news that Gregg Schumacher wasn’t being entirely honest with the press about his “decision” to move his controversial fur shop to the suburbs—speculation has persisted since then that he was, in fact, evicted by his landlord, TMT development.

We were right. He’s got to be out by Tuesday, December 26.

News in this morning’s Oregonian that Schumacher was served an official eviction notice on Wednesday, December 21 confirms our view, based on information from sources close to the situation and conversations with disgruntled tenants living in apartments above the shop—that an informal agreement took place between Schumacher and his landlords to leave without a fuss, hence Schumacher’s repeated insistence that his departure was “voluntary.”

But it seems Schumacher’s decision to post a red carpet outside the store and repeatedly promote his “evacuation sale” in interviews may have pushed TMT over the edge into legal proceedings—an eviction hearing will now take place on Thursday, December 28 at 9am in the Multnomah County Courthouse, which Blogtown will most certainly attend.

Schumacher apparently misled us two weeks ago when confronted in his shop with the “go quietly” theory, saying “the decision to leave has been all mine. We started the conversation with the landlord, and what you’re suggesting is just not true.”

Meanwhile, TMT has persistently refused to comment, or even talk off the record to the press about the situation—a draconian media strategy which has allowed Schumacher to say what he likes to the local press—the Oregonian even ran a front page sympathy story for Schumacher on November 28, “Fur Store Says It’s Had Enough,” which mysteriously disappeared from the homepage of its website after our “eviction” piece surfaced. The O’s Spencer Heinz made no mention of his earlier gullibility in his piece this morning.

Schumacher told the Oregonian he’s done nothing to violate the terms of his lease, and intends to fight the eviction. TMT, as usual, have said nothing.

The wordily named Money In Politics Research Action Project (MIPRAP) has filed a petition with the FCC to challenge the renewal of all Portland commercial broadcast stations. The reason: The stations screwed the pooch when it comes to covering local elections.

The challenge is based on a 2004 study of local news coverage, which showed that—among KATU, KOIN, KGW, and KPTV—a scant 4.9 percent of their programming during the month before the general election focused on the elections. Of those few stories, only one half of one percent, totaling six whole stories, were on local elections. The lion’s share of the stories were focused on the presidential elections, with a handful of stories focusing on state and federal congressional elections. In case you’ve forgotten, 2004 was a pretty wild local election year, what with Potter v. Francesconi, Adams v. Fish, and ballot measures like 37 and 36.

(My own unofficial study of local news shows that the remaining 30 percent of the stories are drug scares, 30 percent are about meth users WHO COULD BE BREAKING INTO YOUR HOME RIGHT NOW!, 20 percent are about wayward mountain climbers, and 15 percent are about childcare workers WHO COULD BE MOLESTING YOUR CHILDREN RIGHT NOW!)

By contrast, local stations raked in nearly $27 million in political advertising during 2004.

Broadcast stations are required to provide public interest programming in order to have their licenses renewed, although the requirements aren’t exactly set in stone. Plus, the FCC in recent years—especially since the Telecommunications Act of 1996—hasn’t been proactive in enforcing these rules. Instead, they’ve spent their time kowtowing to religious nuts who flip out every time there’s a little hint of sex on the television.

In their petition, MIPRAP is joined by the Oregon Alliance to Reform Media, the Campaign Legal Center, and the Media Access Project. Both Oregon Action and Commissioner Erik Sten filed affidavits supporting the objections.

The full MIPRAP press release is here.

Reason #3,456,982 why Japanese TV is so much more awesomer than our own. This game show is entitled MINE CAR (loosely translated) and is a weird cross between Jeopardy and a video game. Five people ride in a mine car traveling down a shaft, and answer questions to determine if they turn left or right. A correct answer means loads of sweet, sweet yen— an incorrect answer means a FIERY, MELTY DEATH IN A PIT OF MOLTEN LAVA.
Ah, such is life.

Domo arigato, TV in Japan!

In case you missed it rerunning on SNL two nights ago, here’s Robert Smigel’s Christmas toon from last year, “Christmas Time For The Jews.”