The die-in at Pioneer Square, via Marianne Barisonek.

Noticed something in Portland? Send it to todayinpdx@portlandmercury.com.

The same folks in Virginia that pushed—successfully pushed—the most draconian anti-gay laws in the country have a new target: heterosexuals. From today’s Washington Post:

After its victory in last year’s fight over a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage in Virginia, the Family Foundation of Virginia announced Thursday that it will push to change the state’s divorce laws to make it more difficult for parents to end their marriage.

The Family Foundation, which opposes abortion and promotes socially conservative values, said it will lobby the General Assembly this year to amend the state’s long-standing no-fault divorce law, which essentially allows a husband or wife to terminate a marriage without cause.

The foundation is advocating “mutual consent divorce” for couples with children, which would require a husband and wife to agree to divorce before a marriage can be legally terminated, except in certain instances, such as abuse or cruelty. The proposed legislation would not affect childless couples.

Efforts to enact discriminatory measures and constitutional amendments targeting gay couples have largely been successful because, hey, we’re only talking about gay couples, right? The majority in Virginia was asked to vote on the rights of a minority—preemptively banning unsecured ones like marriage, repealing secured/assumed rights like the ability to leave your property to a same-sex partner—and the majority of Virginians gleefully stripped same-sex couples of all legal protections. Including that carpet-munching-sodomite/mom-to-be Mary Cheney.

Efforts to make divorce more difficult for all straight couples might prove more difficult. Which is why this proposed measure targets just a tiny percentage of married couples—just unhappily married couples with children, and then only couples that aren’t in agreement about divorcing. This law may be a bit more difficult to pass than an anti-gay law, needless to say, but only a bit. Because, again, backers of this proposed law aren’t talking about limiting the rights of all heterosexuals. (Yet.) They’re merely talking about preventing people with kids from getting out of bad marriages.

If the Family Foundation gets this on the ballot it passes it will be for the same reason anti-gay laws measures were passed by Virginia voters. The majority of voters in Virginia are not in bad marriages and many would welcome a chance to vote on limiting the rights of other heterosexuals—particularly if the doing so allows allow the happily married, the hopefully single, and currently childless couples to express their moral superiority while telling themselves they’re just doing it for the kiddies. Think of the children!

And after this passes—if it passes—the Family Foundation isn’t going to shut down and return the abbreviation “FF” to the fist fuckers. Nope, they’re going to keep right on “advocating” new laws and constitutional amendments. They’ll move on to their next moral crusade—banning birth control for single people? banning the sale of sex toys? banning cohabitation by unmarried persons?—and each new measure will be designed to target the rights of a small number of straights. Sexually active singles, sleazy sex-toy users, immoral shacker-uppers. The plan is to chip, chip, chip away at the rights of straights.

Because now that gays and lesbians have been stripped of all legal rights in Virginia, straight sex and straight relationships present the only target-rich environment for the assfucks at the Family Foundation. It was, however, their intention to go after straights and straights all along. The war on gay people, sex, and couples was never about homosexuality. It was about sexuality, period.

UPDATE: This law, if it passes, will be welcomed by abusive spouses. Abusive spouses seek to trap their mates in marriages they can’t easily escape; even with no fault divorce, kids is a good way to trap someone in a marriage. Add economic dependance and isolation from family and friends and a marriage is a prison. A law that gives an abusive spouse—one who hasn’t been convicted of abuse—the ability to deny his terrified wife a divorce? Virginia’s wife beaters have to be salivating over this.

FF says the law won’t deny divorce to mothers with abusive husbands but I don’t see how the burden of proof fall won’t fall on the woman. What if a wife claims she’s been abused and a husband denies the charge and refuses to “consent” to being divorced? Does the wife have to go back to him, get some nifty bruises, take some pictures, and then re-file for divorce?

Virginia is for lovers—abusive ones.

Sophe Lux:

w/Foreveryoung, Rachel Taylor Brown, $6

The Turn Ons:

w/the Pink Snowflakes, Go Fever, and Noir City, 9:30 pm, $5

Yesterday we showed up at the office to find this outside:Today, the sign’s hidden meaning comes to light. It turns out they are all over the city:I swear, if working here were any more exciting I would have to PISS MYSELF!

A new installment of my punctuated punk podcast 3-Minute Limit has posted. This week: The Grunge Years!
Check it out, LOSER!

Don’t forget: The die-in to protest the Iraq war is going down tomorrow at noon in Pioneer Square. “Please wear black, dress warmly, come prepared to get a little cold and damp,” says one organizer.

I’m a few days late on this—neighborhood activist Jim “lets add more lanes to the freeway” Karlock just posted it to the Lents neighborhood email list, so hat tip to him—but on December 30, the Houston Chronicle published an opinion piece about the city’s efforts to do some urban planning. Houston’s famous for being Portland’s exact opposite when it comes to urban planning—we do lots of urban planning, they do virtually none.

The two guys who wrote the piece—”Leonard Gilroy is a Houston-based certified planner and senior policy analyst with the Reason Foundation. Tory Gattis is editor of the Houston Strategies Web log.” The Reason Foundation’s a libertarian think tank, and Gattis’ blog appears to be the Bojack.org of Texas—point out that Houston’s not Portland, with a heapin’ pile of disdain for the way we do things here in the Northwest.

A city without a plan;

Before process heads in different directions, here’s a path to avoid

…Contrast Houston with its polar opposite — Portland, Ore., held by planners as the Mecca of highly prescriptive and restrictive urban planning.

While Portland has succeeded in creating a handful of attractive neighborhoods for young, childless professionals, some of the side effects have been disturbing. Given broad latitude in shaping the city through policy and regulation, its planners have worked for decades to force people to adapt to the plan.

For example, the Portland region has intentionally disinvested in highways to make driving more difficult (i.e., forced congestion) in order to encourage transit usage. Yet this plan has backfired. Portland’s heavily subsidized light-rail system only accounts for a paltry 1 percent of the city’s total travel, and the city has seen one of the country’s largest increases in traffic congestion, a slowly tightening noose around the regional economy.

Even worse, planners have used zoning to reduce the range of consumer housing options by effectively outlawing new suburban and exurban development, forcing families into higher density living environments (i.e., smaller, tightly packed homes on smaller lots). By simultaneously preventing development on surrounding farm and forest land, the city’s 30 years of “smart growth” policies have created an artificial land shortage, constricting the supply of new housing, inflating home prices and reducing economic opportunities for working families. By the turn of the century, Portland had become one of the least affordable housing markets in the nation, and its homeownership rate lagged behind the national average. According to Coldwell Banker, a 2,200 square foot, four-bedroom home that costs $155,000 today in the Houston area would cost $357,000 in Portland.

None of this is to say that Houston’s current planning efforts are inherently misguided or that planning will take us down the Portland path.

I’m surprised Portland’s planning community hasn’t publicly ripped this piece to shreds yet. (Or maybe they have, and I haven’t found the debate. If so, point me towards it, please!)

Never mind trans fats—a 75-year old Tennessee man is suing his local police department for seizing and destroying the contents of his freezer: 114 dead cats and a German Shepherd named Snowy.

According to the 75-year-old Davis, police and animal control officers raided his home twice in December 2003 and took the frozen animals, along with 46 cats, one dog, and assorted “wild game meat.”

More at the Smoking Gun, you sicko.

I know this is kind of a shock, but just FYI, today’s my last day at the Mercury. I just received the following iChat from my robot-obsessed, assface jerk of a boss, Wm. Steven Humphrey:

So I went to that link, and… well, Steve’s got a pretty good point, I guess. So, uh, see you guys later. Yeah. Oh, also, please meet the Mercury’s new film editor. I’m pretty sure his only qualification for this job is that he says he’s seen I, Robot 45,017 times. Which apparently, is good enough for the Mercury. Goddamn it. I just can’t believe… oh, you know what? Just…. just fuck you, Filmy. I’m out of here.

If this doesn’t give you horrific dreams tonight, it’s because you are incapable of dreaming.
BEHOLD, THE ROBOTIC CATS.

I despise movies that explain. I cannot stand exposition in movies. I start getting, like, a rash. It’s like getting suffocated in the theater. Because I love cinema. And cinema is becoming something that is not cinema. Cinema is becoming a medium of illustrating stories. Cinema is becoming a medium in which you can close your eyes and you can watch the movie.

That’s from an interview with Alfonso Cuarón, by the way. So okay: Every once in a while, I really fucking love a movie, and I won’t shut up about it, and I bother all my friends and co-workers by never shutting up about it, until, inevitably, everybody goes to see this movie, this movie I won’t shut up about, and they usually go in just like a vain attempt to get me to “shut the fuck up up already,” and they’re inevitably disappointed, because of course it’s not as good as I’ve made it out to be—how could it be? But that doesn’t stop me from doing it, for some reason, and I’m doing it now with Alfonso Cuarón’s Children of Men, which opens today. (And also, if you don’t trust me—and who can blame you?—check out Manohla Dargis’ review in the Times.)

Anyway, the point: CHUD.com has a pretty great interview with Cuarón that’s well worth a read. (There are a few vague spoilers in there, but nothing that’ll ruin the film if you haven’t seen it yet.) And the other point, just to reiterate, is that you should go see Children of Men this weekend. Especially considering your other options for new releases are Happily N’Ever After and Code Name: The Cleaner. (Oh, that Cedric the Entertainer! Whatever will he come up with next?)

In a case of life imitating a presumptive weekly newspaper (won’t say which one), Multnomah County Commissioner Lisa Naito has announced that she is calling for “regulations to reduce to a minimal level the amount of trans fats served to the people who dine at Multnomah County restaurants, bakeries and schools.”

She is asking for a public hearing on February 22, with a final vote on March 1st.

Her full press release is after the jump.

STATEMENT OF COMMISSIONER LISA NAITO ON PROPOSED REGULATION OF TRANS FATS IN FOODS SERVED AT MULTNOMAH COUNTY RESTAURANTS

They are said to be ten times more deadly than all food-borne illnesses put together. They have been called as deadly as second-hand smoke. Trans unsaturated fatty acids. Trans fats. This artificial substance is a known health hazard. The federal Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has said there is no safe level of trans fat in a healthy diet. In order to decrease the risk of coronary heart disease and save lives, the FDA has required trans fat content to be listed on all grocery store food labels for the past year. But Multnomah County citizens who dine out are in the dark; we have no way of knowing whether the restaurant food we're being served contains trans fats. Our school-aged children are even more captive, they have only two lunch-time dining choices, the brown bag or the school cafeteria.

I am calling today for regulations to reduce to a minimal level the amount of trans fats served to the people who dine at Multnomah County restaurants, bakeries and schools.

As extreme as this may sound, we are not at the forefront of this movement. The makers of Fritos and Oreos have taken the trans fat out of their chips and cookies. The makers of Crisco offer a Zero Trans Fat All-Vegetable Shortening. Wendy's, KFC, Burger King, Taco Bell, Arby's, Cheesecake Factory, and now Starbucks have all reduced or are actively working to reduce trans fats in their menu items. The City of New York is requiring that its 20,000 restaurants eliminate trans fats from their menus. Anyone who has read the book or watched the movie Fast Food Nation knows trans fats aren't good for you.

I will be introducing a resolution this month asking the Multnomah County Health Department to draft regulations, modeled after those enacted by New York City and Tiburon, California. I am asking for a public hearing on the proposed regulations on February 22nd, with a final vote on March 1st. My resolution will request that these regulations be phased in by the end of 2008, giving restaurateurs, bakers and school districts nearly two years to modify their recipes and meal offerings.

To critics of this proposal I say, this is the right thing to do. If we join with other jurisdictions around the country who are also poised to regulate trans fats "“ including the States of California and Massachusetts, the cities of Chicago and Boston, and Los Angeles and King Counties "“ in calling for restaurants to use trans fats at an acceptable level, we can change the dynamic and halt this nation's obesity epidemic, especially for our children. If communities across the nation collectively call for the near-elimination of trans fats in the foods we eat, the food industry can and will adapt "“ just as automakers have risen to the challenge to make our cars safer. Already, the major manufacturers of cooking oils, including Cargill, Archer-Daniels-Midland, and Bunge are making substitutes for trans fats.

Finally, I applaud the dozens of restaurants in Portland, in Gresham, and throughout Multnomah County that already offer trans fat-free menus. I ask them to join me in supporting this proposal and challenging their professional colleagues to help the citizens of Multnomah County combat obesity and heart disease.

Coincidentally, neighbors in Arbor Lodge have been debating the same idea for the past few days. Their idea, however, sounds more like a desire for bike boulevards than the sort of lanes Maus is suggesting—they’d like to explore moving bike traffic to a calmer side street, instead of on busy streets like N Greeley or Willamette.

Here’s a peek at their debate, which started when a house—yes, a house, at N Willamette and Portland Boulevard—was hit by a car at 2:30 am on Saturday. That led to a neighborhood discussion on traffic controls and street engineering. There’s clearly a traffic problem in the neighborhood, as evidenced by this initial comment: “I noticed tonight that the pedestrian crossing sign on Portland/Rosa Parks Way between Denver and Interstate was demolished. It’s lying in the street, apparently mangled by an encounter by some vehicle,” one neighbor wrote. Yikes! That led to talk about speed bumps, three way stops, pedestrian improvements, and finally bike lanes.

I live one block off of Greeley (before and after the addition of bike lanes). Those bike lanes have added a considerable amount of traffic to our street making three streets instead of one dangerous especially during rush hour. I don’t personally want to ride on busy streets even if they have bike lanes. My belief is that bike lanes may be placed better is if they were not on the major streets“¦ like one block off. I would gladly give up one side of my street for a bike lane”¦ I’d ride on it too and it is safer. I think there needs to be a dedicated place for cars.. for rush hour. I also think they should be on roads like Greeley and Denver and interstate and Lombard. I do think there should be more traffic signals and left turn lanes to help pedestrians. I am sure my opinion is not a popularly voiced opinion and I am sure I am not the only one that holds it.

I don't think there's an easy instant answer to the issue at Willamette and Ptld blvd or to the traffic issues on the Peninsula as a whole.

It would be nice to feel that there was some kind of plan that looks ahead about 20 years, rather than knee jerk reactions to immediate problems. The added traffic on the side streets are, in part, due to the traffic pattern changes on Interstate avenue after MAX came in and the crunching to one lane on Portland Blvd. I think the folks who came up with these bright ideas sincerely believed that these changes would mean less cars on the road. That does not appear to be the case.

All I'm asking for is an alternative to speed bumps. Quite honestly, I hate them. They are hard on my car and a street with speed bumps cannot be driven at the posted speed limit, even in a small car like mine. Larger vehicles are even worse. I know they make life difficult for larger emergency vehicles.

I also like your idea of bike lanes on sidestreets - although, I don't know that the Bicycle Alliance is all that excited by being shunted to side streets and they are a well-organized lobby group for the issues that matter to them.

personally I think that the bike lanes off the major highways and thoroughfares is a great idea. The bike alliance may be a strong lobby, but if they are truly interested in their members safety they would like the idea of safe biking. I like it!

The war between cars and bikes has kept me off my bike for a few years.
Everyone says that we need to be able to play together, but it doesn't work that way.
The best way to bike to the Hollywood district is to bike up knott street. A minor, but wide street. I would like to see more streets like that being used for safe biking.

I will refrain from ranting about my feelings regarding a Miss Sienna Miller, as this post is a “film” post and not a “fashion” post, and as she barely exists as an actress, I can hardly judge her abilities in that arena. That being said I am DYING to see Factory Girl, the Edie Sedgwick biopic, which really seems should be out by now, considering the hype storm we’ve been under attack from for what seems like at least a year. Well, one cat who is not so excited about the film’s release is Bob Dylan. He’s got a litigious trigger finger over what he sees as the film’s portrayal as him having been at least partially responsible for Edie’s heroin use, which may or may not have caused her death. For what it’s worth, my understanding is that although Edie pined over Dylan, she really had more of a relationship with his sleazy manager, and while she she did a li’l heroin around this time, she was more of an uppers kind of gal. Besides, who is to say what any one thing killed someone who spent most of her short life with her fingers down her throat and a drug-filled syringe in her butt? In that sense, I think Dylan is right to get pissy over a film that would blame him for the death of such a walking disaster. But unfortunately I think some people will think he doth protest to much.

Jonathan Maus over at BikePortland.org is asking an intriguing question: Should Portland physically separate bike paths from auto traffic lanes?

My initial response to his question was “No way, man. Bikers are traffic, just like cars, and we have every right to be on the same roads.” But I have to admit, I’m somewhat intrigued.

From Maus’ post:

For decades, we have been happy with conventional bike lanes, but as we get serious about reaching double-digit mode-splits, perhaps it’s time to go beyond a stripe of paint and consider physically separating bicycles from motor vehicle traffic.

Like two young children that, despite attempts at behavior modification just can’t seem get along, maybe it’s time we separated bikes and cars to save us all from nasty conflicts and make bike lanes safe and enjoyable for everyone.

Maus is pitching SW and NE Broadway as a place for a trial separation. Thoughts? Head over there to let him know. If you drop a suggestion or opinion here, make sure you at least copy it over there as well.

And, here’s another sale. This is one you should mark your calendars for: Magalí Corzo is offering 50% off her winter pieces one day only: Saturday, Jan 20th from 11 am-5 pm (1720 NW Lovejoy #106). For all the reasons mentioned in my last post!

I guess I’m the go-to guy for pointing out the cool shit that Goggle trots out in beta, so here’s another:

Google Patents

It’s pretty cool-works just like Google but searches the millions of patents that’ve been filed between 1790 and 1996. I looked up Evel Knievel and found this sweet motocross enhanced bicycle.

I also found an artificial anus.

Here’s a link to a page that has compiled several awesomely bizarre celebrity patents including the amazing finger tapping guitar kickstand invented by Eddie Van Halen.

Go ahead, waste some time!

Portland’s “hip restaurant” scene gets a shout-out in USA Today, highlighting super-deserving spots like Le Pigeon and Simpatica.

A decade ago, rising-star chefs such as Cory Schreiber of Wildwood, Vitaly Paley of Paley’s Place and Greg Higgins of Higgins modernized Pacific Northwest cooking by cultivating connections with area farmers, fishermen, winemakers and artisanal food producers. They preached the gospel of organics and sustainable agriculture and spread their beliefs to young cooks and patrons.
Today, the spirit thrives in smaller, less flashy eateries. Chefs at places such as Noble Rot, Le Pigeon and Simpatica Dining Hall showcase the region’s best ingredients, but they reject many of the trappings of fine dining.
“Because there’s not so much emphasis on style, food remains the focus,” Schreiber says.

This is hardly a mind-blowing critique of the local restaurant scene, but it’s allways nice to get a little love.

Read the whole article after the jump.

January 5, 2007 Friday
FIRST EDITION
LIFE; Pg. 11D
939 words
Portland's palate takes an artisanal turn;
Hip restaurants focus on food raised locally
Jerry Shriver
PORTLAND, Ore. -- Though it's often cursed with gloomy weather, this riverfront outpost belongs among the blessed ranks of hot and hip cultural centers thanks to its edgy arts scene -- particularly the culinary arts.
A decade ago, rising-star chefs such as Cory Schreiber of Wildwood, Vitaly Paley of Paley's Place and Greg Higgins of Higgins modernized Pacific Northwest cooking by cultivating connections with area farmers, fishermen, winemakers and artisanal food producers. They preached the gospel of organics and sustainable agriculture and spread their beliefs to young cooks and patrons.
Today, the spirit thrives in smaller, less flashy eateries. Chefs at places such as Noble Rot, Le Pigeon and Simpatica Dining Hall showcase the region's best ingredients, but they reject many of the trappings of fine dining.
"Because there's not so much emphasis on style, food remains the focus," Schreiber says.
To see where the back-to-the-land approach ignited and where it has spread, check out some of these places (prices reflect the range of dinner entrees):
Le Pigeon
Charming and unpretentious, this 30-seat neighborhood eatery on the east side marries the sensibilities of a last-century Parisian bistro and a classic American diner. The bar wraps around the oven and prep area, where chef Gabriel Rucker performs like a way-overqualified short-order cook, turning out elegant and comforting creations. At night the menu is Euro-influenced with dishes such as rabbit braised with Cognac and prunes and beef-cheek bourguignon. For weekend brunch Rucker puts a spin on the Northwest lumberjack breakfast by building a hash around duck confit and topping waffles with maple-braised pork bellies.
Entrees: $17-$19
To visit: 738 E. Burnside St.
503-546-8796; lepigeon.com
Noble Rot
The alluring concepts of wine bars and small-plates menus are executed perfectly here in one tiny, funky space ("noble rot" is slang for a grape fungus that concentrates the juice for dessert wines). The wine list is filled with unusual choices from around the world (emphasizing Oregon and Washington), and diners can try them in themed flights, order them by the glass from a list of more than 30 or buy them in full bottles to go. Leather Storrs' compact menu offers satisfyingly sized portions of comfort food, some of it amusingly quirky: Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes is a melange of pork parts that are lightly breaded and fried, while Apples Carl Sagan is a deconstructed apple pie in the shape of the universe. It's an ideal place to expand your wine knowledge, but bring a flashlight so you can read the menu in the criminally underlit back room.
Entrees: $5-$15
To visit: 2724 S.E. Ankeny St.
503-233-1999; noblerotpdx.com
wPaley's Place
Chef Vitaly Paley and co-owner wife Kimberly observe the same loyalty to local/sustainable produce as the city's other respected restaurateurs, but they add an overlay of unabashed romance. In 1995 the couple opened the 50-seat restaurant in a too-cute Victorian house in the quiet Nob Hill neighborhood and created a sophisticated atmosphere -- flattering lighting, gracious and unobtrusive service -- that's conducive to wooing. Veteran foodies will be seduced by the seasonable menu that draws upon regional dishes (Dungeness crab salad with Oregon black truffles and locally cured bacon), the French countryside (braised rabbit with dried fennel, garlic and bacon) and the Mediterranean (chitarra pasta with porcini mushrooms and pork sausage).
Entrees: $17-$31
To visit: 1204 N.W. 21st Ave.
503-243-2403; paleysplace.net
xSimpatica Dining Hall
Spending an evening at this bare-bones supper club surely must be the most convivial dining experience in the city. A little more than a year ago, a trio of local butchers and charcuterie producers decided to augment their popular Viande Meats and Sausage operation by staging weekend feasts in a bunker-like space that last housed a rock club. On Friday and Saturday evenings, they offer a themed meal for about 50 customers, most of whom are seated at long communal tables. There's only one seating, and reservations are mandatory. Everything is cooked in the open kitchen adjoining the dining area (sometimes a grill is set up on the sidewalk outside), and the staff delivers wave after wave of delicious rustic dishes, all for a fixed price. Meat and charcuterie are usually the focus. A recent Spanish-themed night featured 13 different tapas, a bountiful paella and flan, and other nights have been dedicated to Alsatian cuisine and to dishes made from all the parts of a particular animal. The cumulative effect is that of a perfect dinner party, with emphasis on the party.
Entrees: $30-$45 fixed-price
menu (cocktails, beer and wine
are sold separately by the glass)
To visit: 828 S.E. Ash St.
503-235-1600
simpaticacatering.com
Wildwood
Cory Schreiber's vibrant shrine to the bounty of the Pacific Northwest may not seem as revelatory as when it opened in 1994, but it remains a must-visit nevertheless. Under new executive chef Dustin Clark (Schreiber keeps his hand in daily operations but is no longer an owner), the approach remains the same: Take pristine ingredients such as mussels, salmon, lamb, morel mushrooms, hazelnuts, berries and artisanal cheeses, and treat them simply and very well. Typical of the frequently changing menu items are the pan-seared Washington ling cod with smoked cauliflower puree, delicata squash and spinach (a steal at lunch for $14); Dungeness crab and potato cakes; and a dessert of sugar pumpkin roulade with cream cheese and pumpkin ice cream.
Entrees: $19-$27
To visit: 1221 N.W. 21st Ave.
503-248-9663
wildwoodrestaurant.com
January 5, 2007

Pop star CHRISTINA AGUILERA gets a lot of crap—some of it, deservedly so. But unlike certain celebs we could name (Britneykoff, Pariskaff, Lindsayahem), at least Christina knows how to exit a limousine wearing a short skirt. And unless you want your va-jay-jay flashed on every website in the world, you would be wise to follow “Christina’s Step-by-Step Method of Keeping that Vagina Covered.” Observe”¦

STEP ONE: Realize There’s a Problem. In this case, Christina quickly identifies the 37 paparazzi standing outside her car door, pointing long lens cameras directly at her juicy bits.

STEP TWO: Secure the Load. As you can see, Christina deftly reaches back with her left hand to secure her skirt in place as she slides across the car seat. Neglecting to do so will almost assuredly “hike” the skirt, leaving one’s vagina precariously exposed to the elements. HOWEVER! Also note how she discreetly twists her right toe inwards. This is clearly a set up for”¦

STEP THREE: The Dismount. Right toe turned in, Christina then SWIVELS HER LEFT KNEE TO THE RIGHT, cutting off any possible visual route to her vaginal canal. Meanwhile, her left hand steadies her exit, while her right slides her skirt back into its correct position.
BEAUTIFULLY DONE, CHRISTINA. We score that one a 9.7. (You would’ve gotten a 10 if those boobies weren’t spilling everywhere.)

Hot Box Betty (1623 NE 15th) is jumping on the sale bandwagon this month, maing way for the new Spring merchandise with 20% off everything in the store until the end of January. I really think that one of the few benefits of an interminable winter is that there is so much time to wear winter clothes, so that when they go on sale to make way for Spring/Summer, you’ve still got a good three months or so to wear them. Plus, your winter wardrobe ends up kind of needing a second act anyway. I know one of my main pairs of boots this season are starting to look rough, and everyone gets sick of the same three coats, etc. So, anyway, the point is, have at it!

(Clutches by Leo. Not especially wintry, I just like ‘em.)

Eva from Inca Ore has an online journal. It’s really good. You should read it. It’s here. Have I posted about this before? I don’t remember. These past few months have been such a blur. Check out Eva’s music right here. There’s a lot of bullshit music out there and Inca Ore is its direct polar opposite—all goodness, warbly drones, smart freak outs, and hellfire noise. Oh, and here’s an interview with Eva written in Portuguese.

That’s a lady pulling gas can on skateboard, taken by Marcus Estes.

Noticed something in Portland? Send it to todayinpdx@portlandmercury.com.

Considering people’s hair-trigger response to anything even remotely perceived as “racist” on this blog, I’m almost afraid to ask this question: Do Japanese people really need to be “sold” on the idea of The Transformers? They kind of invented them, right?
Anyway, apparently the studios think Japan needs to be convinced, because in that country the trailer for the new Michael Bay Transformers movie comes complete with a preface—producer Steven Spielberg and director Michael Bay begging the Japanese people to watch their movie!

Domo Arigato, TV in Japan!

On January 11th, Commissioner Randy Leonard plans to introduce his amendment to Dan Saltzman’s new list of things you can’t do in city parks. His addition—a complete smoking ban in all park areas.

Complete, that is, except that municipal golf courses will be exempted. So don’t worry, doctors, dentists, lawyers, and CEOs, you historic victims of oppression—you’ll still be able to chomp away on those stogies out on the green. Ain’t no one gonna take your rights away. Plus, you’ll get the satisfaction of watching all those lowly regular parks visitors having to stub out their smokes before entering the city’s OUTDOOR public spaces.

Leonard says he decided to exempt golf courses because they don’t have families and children running around, so the secondhand exposure is more limited. There’s another reason, too—banning smoking at municipal golf courses would put the city at a competitive disadvantage to private courses.

Plausible though those reasons may be, it’s difficult to deny the obvious perception problem. Lobbyists, corporate leaders, bureaucrats, and large campaign donors are more likely to be found on golf courses than playing b-ball at Irving Park, and this looks an awful lot like a free pass, or at least a nice little favor, for them.

Bourgeois Asshole

For the record, I’m not implying that this is Leonard’s intent—he may be a lot of things, but classist isn’t one of them. I do think, however, that he’s got a PR problem on his hands, one I’m happy to stir up. (Since Leonard’s a regular Blogtown reader, keep your eyes on the comments section for a response from him.)

In totally unrelated news! After taking a couple of weeks off for surgery to fix his sleep apnea, Sam Adams reappeared at city hall this evening. He missed council sessions yesterday and today, but he made it back in time for city hall’s First Thursday open house. He appeared to be doing well, although moving slowly and keeping his jaw closed. He mentioned something about his face being numb before he shuffled into his office and got lost amid a probable ocean of backlogged work.

…sex scandals, threats of mass killings, active participation in genocide, and financial wrongdoing.

Yet another mega-church preacher in Colorado is under investigation—this time it’s the uber-conservative Rev. Donald Armstrong, an Episcopal priest and rector for Grace and St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church in—wait for it—Colorado Springs, Colorado. What the fuck are the putting in the holy water in Colorado Springs anyway? Armstrong is “the third Colorado Springs pastor in two months to be forced from his pulpit for alleged wrongdoing,” the Colorado Springs Gazette points out this morning. Take it away, Newspeak:

Bahahahahaha: Rev. Don Armstrong Under Investigation

Just when I was starting to get bored with all the Bijou Bridge demolition news, the Gazette reports this morning that Rev. Don Armstrong (you may recall him from THIS POST), another Colorado Springs loudmouth pastor against gay and lesbian ordination and marriage, is now under investigation for “possible misuse of church money.” Let your imagination run wild….

Beacons of moral integrity, these gay-hating pastors!

If you’re looking for a banger, we’ve got one for you today. Another barn burner from the Texas rap scene, Dallas native TUM-TUM is throwing it up for D-town in this number which the Mercury may have to co-opt for our theme song. CHECK OUT “I CAN’T LOSE” HERE!
But how are you feeling it? Will you”¦
BUMP IT OR DUMP IT?

Oh, Tum-Tum”¦ You’ve done it again!

It looks like Matt and Marjorie’s piece this week on “Silencing the Lamb”—in which Matt slaughters a sheep named Sammy, during a Sunday seminar on sustainability/urban survivalism, hosted by TrackersNW—has gotten a lot of vegan (and vegan-allied) panties in a bunch all over town.

This just in from a reader:

I hope others have written in about your ‘Silencing the Lamb’ article and what poor taste it was written in. I, like many others, am following local businesses FoodFight Grocery, Scapegoat Tattoo, Veganopolis, Herbivore, and Pirate’s Tavern (those are people who used to give you money to place ads in your paper) in saying adios Mercury. Loved yah last week, wouldn’t be seen on the same side of the street with you now.

Funny how animal cruelty tends to do that to a relationship.

Regards,
Jay Shaw

Meanwhile, in the comments to Adam Gnade’s innocent love letter to Bay Leaf’s hot and sour soup this morning, there’s a raging debate between vegans, vegetarians, and omnivores (complete with a post of the lyrics to the Smiths’ “Meat is Murder”).

In that borderline comment-war, I revealed my (purely coincidental) 2007 New Year’s resolution: To start eating meat, after nine years of vegetarianism. This came as a surprise to my vegetarian colleague, Scott Moore, who was tallying up the ironically high—given the vegan outrage—number of vegetarians and vegans at the Mercury. I had to break it to him that the ranks are now one less (but still, very high—I’d say half the staff is veggie).

Meanwhile, Food Dude has a warning about Matt:

We have noticed that Food stories in print edition of the Portland Mercury have been conspicuously absent for the past couple of weeks. This, coupled with the small amount of food related news in the Willamette Week made us wonder if both of those publications have just thrown in the towel when it comes to food. However, in today’s issue of the Mercury, reporter provocateur Matt “Silencing the Lamb”� Davis, is culminating his obsession with large cuts of meat, by printing a detailed and graphic step-by step account of his experience slaughtering a whole lamb. Sure to piss off lots of people, especially animal lovers, we are at least hopeful that he saved us a lamb chop or two. Meanwhile, don’t get drunk and pass out while in Matt’s company. He seems to be following a disturbing path. Could a human be next?

(Confidential to Food Dude: Your—very possibly tongue in cheek—comments in our Foodie issue about vegetarians helped push me over the edge. I’m after my card.)

Examiner.com has a quick blurb about what’s currently going on in Marvel Comics re: some pretty interesting political allegory. I read this comic a few weeks ago, but it didn’t even occur to me that it was noteworthy—I guess I’m used to subtextual/political stuff going on in comics. But apparently, people who don’t read them find it surprising that every once in a while, some goofy character in spandex will actually have something relevant to say.

It’s hard not to think of the Bush administration when thumbing through the latest The Amazing Spider-Man comic (#536).

First, some background (and you probably don’t need to be a rocket scientist to see the parallels): In Marvel Comics’—ahem—“Civil War”� story arc, the U.S. government passes the “Superhuman Registration Act”� after hundreds of innocent American men, women and children become collateral damage in a superhero-related tragedy (the president of the United States even swings by the disaster site to assess the damage). The act mandates registration of all superheroes with the government. Spider-Man initially supports the act but then grows suspicious after discovering that unregistered captives are being held without civil rights at an off-shore prison called “the Negative Zone”� (oh, and the prison was built with a no-bid contract). Detainees will remain there for life if they don’t register.

Now, to the present: In this latest Spider-Man comic, America’s favorite swinging web-slinger takes to New York City’s airwaves to publicly denounce the act.

“I’ve seen the very concept of justice destroyed,”� Spidey begins (as written by J. Michael Straczynski). “I’ve seen heroes and bad guys alike—dangerous guys, no mistake, but still born in this country for the most part, denied due process, and imprisoned, potentially for the rest of their lives…. But there’s a point where the ends don’t justify the means, if the means require us to give up not just our identities, but who and what we are as a country.”�

The coolest part of Marvel Comics’ “Civil War” event, so far, has been seeing Captain America—as simplistic and jingoistic of an American icon as they come—go underground (dare I say all terrorist style?), fighting against his own government because of their newfound embrace of what he perceives as very un-American ideals. So yes. I guess what I’m getting at here is that comic books are both relevant and rad. Just in case you didn’t know.

I thought the Pillow Angel thing was creepy—until I found out that my esteemed colleague, Amy Jenniges, has a webcam set up on her laptop so she can watch her dog, Posey, at home. Posey has apparently been sleeping all day in her crate. (Matt Davis thinks Posie snapped a Polaroid of herself and stuck it in front of the camera to evade observation.)

OMG, Amy was just calling her name and whistling—she’s now asking the dog questions over the webcam—and Posey is finally waking up.

This is getting weird.

According to multiple sources, teen queen LINDSAY LOHAN has called it quits with her APPENDIX, after a relationship lasting 20 years. Lindsay had been expressing discomfort with the bodily organ for some time now, and the disagreement apparently came to a head today, when she was rushed to the hospital to have APPENDIX forcibly removed by surgeons. Lindsay is now resting comfortably, while the location of APPENDIX is currently unknown. (Has anyone checked eBay?)
In a related story, K.FED text-messaged APPENDIX to ask if it “wanted to hang out.”

Last week, I attributed another “flash mob” of kids—this one in Montavilla, around NE 82nd and Mill—to bored youth (duh). This week, the mayor’s office concurs, in a note to the neighbors.

Thank you for emailing about the “flash mob” that emerged in the vicinity of 82nd and Mill. Mayor Potter has asked me to respond on his behalf.

The incident you describe was reported by the police to our Office of Youth Violence Prevention. According to that report, all the youths were displaced from a nearby party. Police were dispatched to the area after it was reported, and they assisted all of the youths in finding TriMet transportation out of the area. No arrests were made, and no damage was reported.

To answer your question - the incident itself is isolated, but the nature of the incident is not. Unfortunately, so called “flash mobs” - large and sometimes aggressive groups of teens and young adults emerging unexpectedly - are becoming more and more common. We can tie much of the impetus for flash mobs to the proliferation of text messaging and MySpace, but the root causes are familiar - disaffected and unengaged youth. Most of the participants themselves are regular kids with no intention of causing trouble, but we have seen flash mobs attract and amplify gang activity. For this reason, the Office of Youth Violence Prevention is taking the lead on addressing the problem. You can learn more about the Office at http://www.portlandonline.com/mayor/index.cfm?c=43522.

I hope this response addresses your concerns. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have questions or further comments.

Sincerely,
Jeremy Van Keuren, Public Advocate
Office of Mayor Tom Potter

I’d really love to hear what the Office of Youth Violence Prevention plans to do to engage and affect Portland’s kids. I think pushing for more all-ages music venues would be a good place to start (in other words, give kids a better place to hang out than Lloyd Center). Any other ideas?

A Seattle couple has had their mentally disabled nine-year-old daughter undergo a series of medical procedures to keep her child-size for the rest of her life. They call her “Pillow Angel.”

I don’t think I can really sum up the coverage. Read it for yourself here and here.

“The God we know wants Ashley to have a good quality of life and wants her parents to be diligent about using every resource at their disposal (including the brains that He endowed them with) to maximize her quality of life,” her parents wrote on their blog.

Yeah, God’s really come through on this one.

I just finished a new episode of my podcast, Best Show/Worst Show. This time it’s a very special episode where I pay tribute to Marriage Records and play tracks by Lucky Dragons, Adrian Orange, Viking Moses, Watery Graves, and White Rainbow. It’s also a drawing contest with amazing prizes and glory. Go here.

Here are a couple of photos of the door of Dave Lister’s car, which was struck yesterday by an unidentified object—which the cops are now claiming was NOT a bullet. I’ll let you, dearest Blogtown readers, decide for yourselves what could have caused such a weird little hole.

If you are the type who can while away hours on shopping websites like net-a-porter, shopbop, bluefly, topshop, Browns of London, Le Train Bleu, and on and on, then you may be interested in knowing that freakin’ Amazon just launched their own shopping site, endless.com. Personally I find it necessary to inspect every item I buy, needing to touch it, try it on, find out where it was made, etc, and therefore my internet shopping is always a window shopping experience. Nonetheless I have lost hours of my life this way. Anyhow, because Endless has a relatively low price point (think BCBGirls, Steve Madden, etc), it is not quite the Balenciaga and Chloe internet porn I favor, but more likely a place where you’d actually buy something if you’re not in that Prada-clad income bracket. Also, they are accessories only (shoes and bags), which is just as well for the shipping expenses of having to return garments that don’t fit. Then again Endless offers free overnight and return shipping. If you are a trend junkie, this might be an alternative to spending a fortune on items that you might not still be into next year.

(Steve Madden)

(Kenzie)

As reported yesterday here at Blog Town, one of my fave TV guilty pleasures, The O.C. has been cancelled, and its final episode will air February 22. While many sites have been reminiscing about this ground-breaking series, here’s one of my favorite quotes from Ben Gibbard of Death Cab for Cutie, who—arguably—owes much of their success to this show. From Idolator“¦

“My God, I can’t believe it’s over,” says Death Cab For Cutie singer Ben Gibbard, whose band was referenced on the show an average of twelve times per episode. “I look forward to never, ever being asked about that show again. We’d been around for six years by the time that thing came on! It’s not like they invented us.”

Gibbard paused before adding, “Seriously, though, I knew they were in trouble when they introduced Alex in season two.”

OH, C’MON BEN! Are you freaking kidding me? Alex—the hottest lesbian in the universe—practically saved that show. The problem is, and always has been, that goddamn drip MARISSA who was a fucking DOWNER. They should have let her tongue-kiss Alex, and then immediately KILLED HER.
PUH-LEEEEEZE!!

Drip”¦ drip”¦ drip. TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE.

Check out this movie trailer for the upcoming film Cthulhu based on H.P. Lovefraft’s “Shadow over Innsmouth”:

I gleaned the heads-up from one of Wired’s many blogs (no, I don’t read them that often). Read here. Wired’s take makes light of the fact that the protagonist is gay, but it also links back to a Stranger article from 2005 that discusses in earnest the local-ness of the production (filmed in the NW, screenwriter Grant Cogswell is the man who spearheaded the Seattle monorail project) as well as the gay protagonist factor. Read the Stranger’s superior look here.

While the film has tasty ingredients like gay protagonists, Tori Spelling, sea monsters, cults, and a Pacific NW setting, it remains to be seen if they will combine to make something beyond the realm of camp.

I’ll probably see it regardless as grindhouse is great when its good, good when it’s funny and even funnier when it’s supposed to be serious.

Remember the Kim family, who were lost in the Oregon wilderness after Thanksgiving? There’s a huge benefit auction in honor of James Kim—to benefit his wife and two daughters—filled with handmade clothes, bags, paintings, and other gorgeous art and craft items.

Unfortunately, with four days left to go in the auction, eBay yanked the listings (something about their charity auction rules…). The benefit organizers are working things out, and will open the auction for bids again shortly. Keep an eye on it—there’s a lot of great stuff to bid on, for a great cause.

Before eBay got involved, Portland-based Amy Ruppel’s paintings were garnering the most bids.

There are a half dozen other Portland artisans represented. Go check them out.

The Blazers 81-99 loss to the Knicks last night reveals one thing. They didn’t read our 19 things not invited back to 2007. Item 14; “half-assing it”:

Excuse me, but why are you always half-assing it? No matter who you are, we depend on you doing your job with professionalism and at least a modicum of enthusiasm. And yet? You choose to half-ass it. Perhaps you think no one cares or notices. Well, we notice. We notice you half-assing everything you do, every day around Portland. ….So in 2007, kiss half-assing it goodbye, and start kissing full-assing it hello.

Here’s the Blazers’ new ball:Worst thing was, Portland had a good first twenty minutes. But as soon as the Knicks pulled away, nobody seemed to believe we could pull it back. You can do it, Blazers, you just have to start believing in yourselves! I did not get my mate to blag us free tickets in order to watch the Knicks’ Eddy Curry play like it was a dunking contest. Seriously, get your asses in gear.

Last night I went to a dinner party at Matt Davis’ place and snapped this photo with my camera phone. I had the rice.

This is (Thomas Fehlmann):

w/Gudrun Gut, 9 pm, $8 advance

Send your Portland pics to todayinpdx@portlandmercury.com, and we’ll post ‘em!

I’ve been meaning to write something about this, but for whatever reason it’s slipped my mind. For the last, say, eight months I’ve been living off of Bay Leaf Vegetarian Restaurant down on Division in the SE. I love just about everything I’ve had, but the real winner for me is the hot and sour soup which I’ve decided can A) Cure hangovers. B) Slow your heartbeat down to a meditative crawl. C) Provide everything you need for an entire day’s worth of living if you only have time to eat once (which is usually the case with me.)

It’s hot, it’s sour, it’s magic. Just don’t eat it as leftovers; all the magic goes away when it’s reheated. (Turns gummy.)

You know those stories about Chinese monks disappearing into the forest and coming out 200 years later completely un-aged? I think that’s thanks to hot and sour soup. It’s definitely forest floor food.

Here’s Bayleaf’s site. Also recommended: sesame tofu (nice sweet, sticky glaze), clay pot tofu, dong po tofu, vegan potstickers, the vegan carrot cake (they have a ton of vegan deserts), and any of the teas.

Get ready to reel in awesome confusion! This kid is RICHARD SANDRAK, a pubescent weight lifter from the Ukraine who has not only been featured in a myriad of professional body building competitions, he already has his own exercise video (entitled The Little Hercules Workout Video for Kids) and is starring in his own feature film entitled LITTLE HERCULES 3D, co-starring Hulk Hogan, Robin Givens, Elliot Gould and JUDD NELSON.
YOU HAVE GOT TO WATCH THE TRAILER FOR THIS MOVIE HERE!
This is so awesome/creepy I can’t begin to wrap my brain around it.

Dave Allen (Gang of Four) has written about his favorite records of 2006 over at the Pampelmoose Records site.

As the music industry continues to vacillate wildly, and no one can seem to agree upon whether or not downloading is gaining ground or slipping back, artists have continued to release some great, fresh music. Here at the Moose much music in the form of CDs, MP3s, vinyl and streams crosses our desks and a large amount of it sends us into the wrong kind of funk. But there are always diamonds in the rough and so we present our top ten favorites from 2006 some with comment some without.

01. TV On The Radio - Return to Cookie Mountain.
Far and away my favorite album of the year by a band that had clearly decided to throw caution to the wind and to simply embrace their art form fully. Jon Pareles said it best “an elegy, a squall, a survey of ruins, a call for resolve, an impetus to dance, an incantation, a reverie, a taunt, a surge”¦..”�. Utterly brilliant and we should celebrate a band that is clearly without peer in the world of rock music.

02. The Roots - Game Theory.

03. Hot Chip - The Warning.
Those wiry Brits known as Hot Chip are apparently the hardest working electronic act out there and with their CD The Warning they delivered on the promise that their 7"³ single Down With Prince suggested. "Whereas a band like Primal Scream simply want to BE The Rolling Stones for one album, then King Tubby on the next, and Royal Trux on another, we prefer to make references in miniature to the spirit of the records and performances we love and admire,"� says vocalist/keyboard player Alexis Taylor. "We might apply an interesting approach to recording that we have learnt from an artist, but with a different set of aesthetic principles. So traces of RTX, Anti-Pop Consortium, "˜I'm Your Man' era-Leonard Cohen, Stevie Wonder, Tom Petty, MadLib and Will Oldham, for example, may all be somewhere in one song, rather than becoming the blueprint for an entire album."� Effortless.

04. Cat Power - The Greatest.
Chan Marshall stops time. She sits at a piano or lays her guitar across her lap, and whether it's a noisy club overflowing with drunks or a coffee house full of laptoppers, Chan Marshall draws all the attention in the room and makes the world stop spinning. As Cat Power, Marshall's music seems to rise from nowhere, envelop the room, then vanish; listeners know they've been hit by something but they're not sure what.

05. Thom Yorke - The Eraser.

06. Scritti Pollitti - White Bread Black Beer.
"White Bread Black Beer"� — the title refers to Green Gartside's starch-and-Guinness regimen, and to the notion of "white bread"� pop, which he has often defended — prompts a facile question. If the band's early work was about dismantling pop, and then the mid-80's phase was the apotheosis of pop, then what's the new album about? Mr. Gartside drew a deep breath and shifted into theory. He spoke of the impossibility of free will and truth; of neo-pragmatism, the philosophy sometimes associated with the philosopher Richard Rorty; of the unfair critical "privileging"� of rock over pop, and the ways in which truly popular music hasn't answered the logic of late capitalism in the same predictable way that the indie-rock tradition has. One glimpsed the porcupine he must have been as a younger man: combative, sardonic, high-strung."� The world needs Green. More.

07. Alela Diane - The Pirates Gospel.
Simply stunning.

08. The Blood Brothers - Young Machetes.

09. The Avett Brothers - Four Thieves Gone.

10. Camille - Le Fil.
Everyone should own this CD. Straight up. Apparently Camille's shows leave you completely floored and that's something I'm willing to travel for.

Since we’re dogging the subject of racism this week, here’s an article linking the city’s architectural design to its racial history by Carl Abbott (a college professor, just like Jack Bog), who writes: “Portland is a great place for white, middle class, liberal professionals like me. What sort of place is it for people of color? Does Portland “work”� because it is racially homogeneous?” For illustrative purposes, here’s a shot of the city by Brian Libby at the Portland Architecture blog:Abbott writes:

A vanilla city likes understated design““low in gesture and high in references to nature. Compatible buildings are admired. The ensemble outscores the superstar in a sort of chamber music approach to architecture. Water features are always popular. Public artists can’t go far wrong if they work miniature mountainscapes and/or fish into their work.

Now, compare this to Amy’s shot of the tram yesterday:Not a mountainscape or fish in sight, is there! It’s not very homogenous, is it? The tram is bold. It’s a potential “superstar,” to use Abbott’s terminology. So: is the tram Portland’s James Brown, in a city full of architectural Doobie Brothers? Are those who hate the tram simply closet architectural racists?

The Stereogum blog has tracked down some Decemberists b-sides. That’s all.

Pitchfork reviewed a new Modest Mouse track, “Dashboard,” from their upcoming record, We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank. It’s a dance track. They had this to say about the song:

The first single from the new Johnny Marr-enhanced Modest Mouse is so radio-ready, you can almost hear the future Kidz Bop version echoing in the background, a children’s chorus taking the place of the disco strings that swell behind Isaac Brock. “Dashboard“‘s slinking string lines provide the song’s most surprising touch—though they echo Brock’s melody, their fluidity sounds alien in Modest Mouse’s world of clanking guitars and metronomic drumming. Those dead-stringed guitars and backbeats are odd, though—drummer Jeremiah Green and new guitarist Johnny Marr made their names on complexity and trickiness, not fist-pumping. This could have been better if Brock had contrasted this uncomplicated, upbeat song with darker, troubling lyrics. Instead he sings, “The dashboard melted but we still have the radio,” and I think this is a metaphor for, “we’ll all float on ALRIGHT.”

Listen to “Dashboard” here.

They also reviewed the new Tara Jane O’Neil (pictured below) record this morning and gave it a solid 8.1. Here’s what David Raposa had to say about In Circles.

Ever since she began putting her name on the front of her albums, Tara Jane O’Neil has perfected the art of writing songs that perfectly encapsulate both the comfort of misery and the misery of comfort. On In Circles, her sixth full-length, O’Neil once again couches these themes in the folk music/tape loop aesthetic she’s consistently revisited throughout her solo work. While that may make the album sound like a rote sigh-by-numbers exercise, In Circles might be the best non-Rodan release O’Neil has been associated with.

What makes this album stand out is O'Neil's ability to seamlessly mix electronics (such as the aforementioned tape loops, as well as some judiciously used feedback and guitar effects) into songs that, left alone, could very well have come from the dilapidated porch of a forlorn Kentucky shack. Indeed, one of the album's more straightforward tracks, "Blue Light Room", plays as straight country-and-western. O'Neil's plaintive voice is abetted solely by guitar, drums and pedal steel, the perfect backdrop for lyrical sentiments such as, "I found languor and love in a bottle."

The more adorned tracks on In Circles, however, don't lack the homemade charm of their less encumbered brethren. The album's opener, "Primer", begins with what sounds like wind chimes naturally colliding. Over the course of the track, that sound is transformed into a glistening, shimmering curtain of sound-- it's an obvious manipulation, but sounds as natural as its originating source. O'Neil blends sounds in a swirling manner that's not dissimilar to the way she paints her record covers. The delicate distortion and feedback that introduces "A Room for These" ebbs and flows by itself, then gently gives way to the song's soothing waltz.

Her instrumentation choices blend into the tracks in a similar fashion. Soft, melancholy melodica chords sound off like timid foghorns in the background of "A Partridge Song". Instead of clashing with the gentleness of the song, their comforting dissonance finds a fitting home within O'Neil's measured acoustic plucking and her fragile voice. She might bury her vocals demurely on most of these tracks, but don't let that fool you: Tara Jane O'Neil is at the height of her creative powers, and In Circles is a confident document of her strengths.

Tonight at Rotture (315 SE 3rd), make sure to check White Rainbow, Eternal Tapestry (pictured below), and Ghosting. Here’s what Mercury contributor Josh Blanchard had to say…

I deny thee! Rotture sports a location many natives have considered to be “cursed”� due to the sheer number of clubs that have tried and failed residing there (B Complex, Meow Meow, Mercury Room, etc.). The svelte décor and focused intimacy of this upstairs bar seems be paying off this time around, as Rotture is hands down the best place to see local music anymore. With Ghosting in the house however, the venue hardly matters as the their swelling, microtonal auras tend to transform any environment into a soft chamber of prismatic sound.

Think this battle should have ended, like, three weeks ago? WELL, I DON’T. I hope ROSIE O’DONNELL and DONALD TRUMP go to their graves sniping at each other. Especially if Donald continues to make videos like this one.

I’m pretty sure WILL IT BLEND? is the reason the internet was invented. And also—I’m not sure why I didn’t realize this before—holy fucking shit BLENDERS ARE AWESOME!

After yesterday’s “blog jihad,” this is still what’s happening when anybody at the Mercury tries to log onto Jack Bog’s blog:Well, I think that’s a bit sad. You may recall the trouble started when I accused JB of inciting racism with a blog post. Jack, if you’re reading, and I’m pretty sure you are, even if you pretend not to be—I wanted to share some of our police chief’s words on the subject of race with you, from an interview this morning. Remember, Jack, this is our police chief, Rosie Sizer, talking:

The issue of race in America is so complicated and there’s fear and anger that is underneath the surface, almost on all sides around it. But I think as a leader, you have to talk about this stuff, and just, kind of not talking about it or wishing the issue might go away isn’t going to make it go away at all.

After reading that, Jack, as an actual college professor, I’m hoping maybe you’ll be brave and let us read your blog again. Or not. It’s up to you.

Ha ha, okay, so maybe nobody is trying to kill Dave Lister.

After hearing Lister tell his story on KXL, the cops decided that maybe they should back out and see if they could find an actual bullet lodged in the car door. They pulled the thing apart and found … nothing.

Police spokesperson Brian Schmautz says officers have determined that the “damage appears to have been caused by road debris.” Yeah, right. Road debris coming directly sideways, and at a speed that went through sheet metal.

More likely scenarios: It was a laser, fired from one of the new buildings in South Waterfront. I’ve seen Real Genius, and I know this is totally scientifically possible.

But the most likely scenario, one floated by Mercury ad rep (and total gun nut) Rob Thompson, is that the shooter used an ice bullet. By the time the cops came back, it had melted, leaving nothing to lead back to the culprit.

No matter who—or what—was trying to kill Dave Lister, one thing’s for certain: If they—or it—had a better aim, Lister would have been utterly screwed.

Belmont Station, aka the little beer store by the Horse Brass with the killer beer selection, opens tomorrow in a new location at 45th and Stark. In addition to more room (which means more beer!), the new space will also feature a “bier cafe” serving any of Belmont Station’s 600+ bottled beers, plus a few on draft and food. Awesome.

Read the official announcement after the jump.

We Are Moving!
Belmont Station is relocating just 3 blocks away to
4500 S.E. Stark St Portland, OR 97215
January 4, 2007

After grueling months of waiting on City Hall, construction is complete. On the first week of the New Year we'll be pleased to welcome you to a new, expanded and updated Belmont Station. What's going to be different?

THE STATION CAFE! The new Belmont Station is two spaces in one. On one side, a bottleshop. On the other, a great little bier cafe. On the menu: any of our bottled beers, plus a few very special beers on draught. It will be a comfortable, neighborhood place to while away the hours tasting the best beers on the planet. We will feature soups, sandwiches, and cheese plates for your nibbling enjoyment.

MORE SPACE MEANS MORE BEER! Lots more space! Our beer selection is just shy of 700, but we're looking to increase our selection to around 900!

SELF-SERVE COOLERS! No more waiting while we fetch your bottles. Our knowledgeable staff will continue to assist you with your selection and any questions you may have. We'll have UV protection on the cooler lights to prevent skunky beer, and we'll be religiously rotating and stocking as usual. Belmont Station will continue to be the place for the freshest beer in town.