“I Love Strippers,” yelps Lindsay Lohan after a party-hearty night at NYC titty bar Scores West, where she hopped up on stage before 400 onlookers and worked that pole like a gay fireman.

Shed a tear for poor pill-popper O.J. Simpson who is allegedly addicted to OxyContin, after his dispicable book (“If I’d Did It”) and special were shelved. Sources say he “has plummeted into a hellhole of heavy boozing, drug abuse and insane jealousy.” Don’t hurt our feelings and overdose, now!

After one disturbing gossip report too many, longtime Britney Spears fansite creator (WorldofBritney.com) is calling it quits. “No matter what anyone thinks, it’s very hard to maintain the respect needed to keep [this website] going.” That’s too bad”¦ will you change your mind if she shows you her vagina?

Remember last week, when all those naughty pictures of Miss Nevada surfaced, and she called her booby-licking adventures an “isolated incident?” Well, more pictures have been found. But this time it was the boob that attacked her tongue!