Blogtown, PDX

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Politics Saltzman Signs Smoking Ban

Posted by Scott Moore on Thu, Dec 21 at 2:45 PM

Dan Saltzman’s hilariously graphic set of new parks conduct rules have been set aside until mid-January, but he’s not waiting on one part of his plan—banning smoking in Pioneer Courthouse Square and in children’s playgrounds in all city parks.

Saltzman has signed the ban, which will go into effect January 1, just in time to assist with all those “quitting smoking” New Year’s resolutions.

In case it escapes anyone’s mind, both Pioneer Courthouse Square and all of the city’s parks are outside.

“Second-hand smoke, containing over 43 cancer-causing agents, is a substantial public health hazard that causes an estimated 800 deaths a year in Oregon alone,” Saltzman said, although it was unclear how many of those deaths were caused by secondhand cigarette smoke outside, where the only thing more prevalent than ventilation is car exhaust.

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Comments

Scott,
I can go into the square now and you can't... nah na nah nee nah nah

Posted by Dave Lister | December 21, 2006 3:17 PM

Of course the danger still remains of slipping on some accidentally discharged bodily fluids... until the rest of his ordinance is passed.

Posted by Dave Lister | December 21, 2006 3:19 PM

What about purposefully discharged bodily fluids? That still kosher?

Posted by Watanabe Koiku | December 21, 2006 6:12 PM

What if one does light up and smoke one? Will the PoPiggy's stomp
your ass or kill you? Not so far fetched a question if one recalls it
was about 3 months ago that a man got stomp to death by them
for allegedly pissing on the sidewalk...about as minor an infraction
as would be smoking. We need to know the consequences so we
can run our own Risk Assessment Analysis before venturing down
to Pioneer Square.

Posted by Bee Jay | December 21, 2006 8:03 PM

We covered that here.

Posted by scott moore | December 21, 2006 8:40 PM

As George Carlin once noted regarding rules on NY subways, happily with this ordinance vomiting is still free and legal! Unless you accidentally blow some of it out your nose, I guess.

And pursuant to Kitty the Chicken-Niblets Choker, animal ejaculation still seems kosher too.

Whew! I can't wait to stick it to The Man on the 1st by puking on some cop's shoes!

Posted by torridjoe | December 22, 2006 1:06 PM

Bee Jay - what do you wear and do?

If you wear a black hoodie and black pants, have a dog with you, and mumble "spare change" at passersby, they'll nab you the second you light up.

If you look conservative, in business casual clothes, smoke away!

Posted by Aaron V. | December 24, 2006 3:28 PM

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