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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Mercury Strip Clubs: Help!

Posted by Matt Davis on Wed, Dec 20 at 12:31 PM

96_marys_club.jpgDear Mercury readers,

I’m hoping you can help me out. Before and after arriving in Oregon, I’ve been told the following, about sixty different ways: “It’s much more okay, ethically and morally, to visit a strip club in Portland than it would be anywhere else.” Which is great. And since this is an argument I’m all for, who am I to question it?! But why?

Last night I had the good fortune to visit Portland’s Acropolis strip club/steak house and, thanks to the Chas, was treated to much special attention because he kept telling them it was “my first time.” He also told them today is his birthday, which seemed to elicit the same kind of response, so happy birthday, Chas! The $4 steak was excellent, and I thoroughly enjoyed eating it medium rare with blood dribbling down my chin while the strippers gyrated, inches from my plate. I’m not sure my mother would approve, but I’m getting therapy for that, and trust me, exploring those issues has taken a while. Back to the point. Help!

Yours,

Needing Ammunition Supporting Titty Yuletrip

Comments

"But why?"

It helps to understand the history of the strip club industry in Portland. In the gold rush days, Portland was a relatively lawless city, so the sex industry had fairly free reign. Fast forward to today, there are more strip clubs per capita than anywhere else in the nation (possibly the world). They're so entrenched and established as "normal" that the thumpers just can't get rid of them.

That, coupled with the progressive nature of PDX, makes them unusually female friendly. Devil's Point generally has more women in the non-working crowd than men.

Cowboy, is that like how I need to understand the history of police brutality in Portland?

It's because many of the dancing ladies are stripsters.

Hipsters+Strippers = stripsters.

Many stripsters are the ones that are supporting their boyfriends in your favorite bands by paying the rent while they rock out and make obscure albums that wont make any money. So, it's like economic development for the creative class. Duh.

Also, think about our city mascot - Portlandia! She has nice naked boobies.

Welcome to Portland, I mean Pornland, Matt.

Cowboy, calling strip clubs, "establishment" and "socially acceptable" is a trick for loser hipsters who are trying to appear edgy. That's sad.

Matt: sure, makes as much sense as anything else I can think of :)

I should've also pointed out Mary's, the oldest strip club in PDX, still owned and run by her family.

skinny: huh? all I'm saying is that strip clubs are very "normal" out here. Nearly every female I know goes to them once in a while (usually they have a friend who works there, or just want to express how "wild and crazy" they are). Personally, I can't stand 'em -- last thing I need is a bunch of boobs in my face to remind me that I'm not getting laid.

Cowboy X: You know what's fun to do? Google "more strip clubs per capita" (in quotes) with Portland and watch how many people repeat this claim without ever giving a source. Is it true? Who knows. I've looked for sources for it before and I've never managed to come up with any. But everyone in the city "knows" it!

The best I can find is that Portland has more strip clubs per capita than Las Vegas or San Francisco (via a Byron Beck column). Other than that, I come up empty.

It sounds incredibly like an urban legend to me, but who knows.

Did Matt Davis just fucking compare strip clubs to police brutality!!?!?!?

Bite your tounge, Limey. Bite it right off! And let the blood dribble down your chin while I stick my ass in your face.

Devil's Point is the best strip club in town. hottest, nicest, smartest girls, best music, good strong drinks, nice location, sweet decor... it's unstoppable. and very female-friendly. true.

Why is everyone so obsessed with that particular statistic in the first place? If you have to add the "per capita" qualifier, you're not really in the running. Let's strive to have the most strip clubs, period.

I'm still struggling to see anything other than the fact PDX has a lot of strip clubs as justification for it being "more okay" to go to them here than elsewhere. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for going to strip clubs, but let's be honest about why.

Ur, Jumbo, I haven't even read the police brutality thread Matt is referring to but I assume he is talking about the fact that Cowboy X likes explaining completely obvious and/or off-base facts and opinions to Matt in his threads.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm all for going to strip clubs, but let's be honest about why."

Didn't you read Unjack's post? It's because the girls are smart and the drinks are strong.

oh, and the decor. That's a popular reason to go to a strip club.

Because people like to look at naked women, and have since at least the beginning of recorded history. There's the little issue of commodifying it, but that's also been around since the beginning of recorded history--though it doesn't necessarily make it right. The reason it's more "acceptable" in Portland is because the balance of power in that economic relationship is shifted toward the workers. It's less a matter of "exploitation" than of a fair transaction.

Of course, this is just the perception. Whether it has any basis in reality is for people other than me to figure out. But you asked why it's "more okay" in Portland, and it's because of this perception.

Also, you're such a freaking schoolmarm, Davis.

Matt:

Why not?

Seriously. What the hell are you talking about. Naked girls dance in front of you, and there's a problem?

Tron: I didn't say I had a problem with it. In fact, I love watching naked girls dance in front of me.

But then, I also like killing sheep and eating pigs' heads.

I applaud the Mercury's policy of hiring the occasional retarded writer like Matt Davis.

Sure, the paper and the city have to bear the discomfort of reading his writing, but as affirmative action goes, it's big of the Mercury to extend such latitude to such deeply malformed citizens.

The world is a better place as a result, even if your bottom line and our civic discourse suffers temporarily. In the long run, the children of retards like Matt Davis will have more of a fair shake in life, no matter how much their genetics slow them down.

Well said.

I've said it before and I'll say it again.

When life hands you a schoolmarm, make schoolmarmalade.

Jeez. I've only been to a strip club once in my entire 42 years of existence on this marble.

I thought it was nasty. The music was ear splitting, there were naked women dancing--but they all looked like they were about 15. And then some bloke paid the drink server $20 to oggle her pussy.

It was pretty pathetic.

All in all, it seems a lot sexier to me to do the dancing with my man in privacy. But then I'm not a guy.

Jeez. I've only been to a strip club once in my entire 42 years of existence on this marble.

I thought it was nasty. The music was ear splitting, there were naked women dancing--but they all looked like they were about 15. And then some bloke paid the drink server $20 to oggle her pussy.

It was pretty pathetic.

All in all, it seems a lot sexier to me to do the dancing with my man in privacy. But then I'm not a guy.

Forget the "per capita" nonsense, what's important about Portland strip clubs is that it is one of the final frontiers, where you can legally drink HARD ALCOHOL while looking at FULL NUDITY. It's (one of?) the only places in the entire country where you can do that, and to not partake is to disrespect one of the region's native resources. When in Rome, etc.

Not only can you look at naked people (men or women, I might add)and drink hard liquor, but you can also eat and gamble simultaneously (assuming you are that coordinated. I'm not sure there's another place to do all of that legally in the US, outside of some remote areas of Nevada. If we could swing the weed issue, the world would be our naughty little oyster.

in other cities you often have to PAY to dance. then in order to make back the stage fee, there is pressure to provide other "services".

here dancing is a pretty low key, relatively low cash sort of job.

lots of female owned and operated clubs helps too.

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