I started out trying to compile my best and worst list, and realized that even the most no-brainer on my “best” list (um, Kate Moss) turned out to be a challenge when searching for an on-the-street internet photo that I could specifically really get behind—for the record, I think the one of her trooping through the mud at that music fest in Wellies is the closet one can get to capturing that ease that really makes her stand out. So I decided to skip to the “worst,” of which I can barely bring myself to limit to five, and even so have to include a few honorable mentions. (But in case you’re curious, my other bests were Nicole Richie (you shut up and leave her alone), Justin Timberlake (I could probably be talked out of this one), Jacinda Barrett (my love for her is disproportionate to her level of fame, but there you have it), and Daniel Craig (I surprised myself with this one but the more I think about it the more convinced I am that he is a rare master of dressing well and masculine, without a touch of the ridiculous nor of slovenliness), with Jennifer Lopez as an honorable mention (marriage and quiet seem to suit her)).

And now the worst:

Sob, sob, a million sobs as the real-life Johnny Depp continues to accomplish what should be impossible: Entirely canceling out the formidable Depp sex appeal through heinous crimes of accessorization. I’m convinced he’s doing it on purpose as an in-joke with Vanessa Paradis.

The rest of the travesties after the break:

Effortlessly plucked from the internets. I am most certain Brooke Hogan has never not looked like a complete fool.

Some things just can't be undone, Jared Leto. Silver crocs are one of them.

I know, I love Beyonce too. But I can not shake the conviction that she is always wearing something that was meant primarily as a costume.

I might find Victoria Beckham's complete lack of perspective endearing if she didn't seem like such a frigid bitch.

Runners Up: Fergie, Christina Aguilera, Natalie Imbruglia, Eva Longoria.