A little note to my colleagues, who are now whooping it up in Sin City: With you out of the picture, I have become the coolest person in the editorial office. Sure, it was only for a day, and that day is now over, and the only conceivable way I could achieve such a stature is by everyone but me leaving, but I’m going to savor this. By writing yet another geeky post about a terribly arcane local political issue. And there’s nothing you can do to stop me. And no, Steve, I can’t hear your fake snoring sounds—you’re a thousand miles away.

Something else Sam Adams revealed this afternoon: He has four sponsors for his proposed reform to the city’s 2.2 percent Business License Fee, which will reduce fees for small businesses. In case you don’t have a calculator handy, that gives him a comfortable majority at city council, with only Randy Leonard expected to vote no.

The BLF reform makes it so that small businesses making less than $50,000 a year don’t have to pay a dime (currently, the minimum is $25,000). And business owners will now be able to deduct $80,000 per year for their own income, an increase from the current $60,000. It’ll be a phased-in five-year reform, ultimately raising owners’ income deduction to $125,000, and forcing larger corporations who are currently only paying a $100 minimum to pay up to $1,000.

It doesn’t come without drawbacks, though. The reform will cost the city $3 million from the general fund, which is why Leonard is opposed. He’s proposing—again—a cell phone tax to make up for the lost revenue. Adams will present the reform at this Thursday’s council meeting, sharing space with the Charter Review Commission report.

That is all. You may now return to posts about shoes, video games, and Matt Davis’ bloodlust.

Some of you may know Donovan, possibly from his days as part of the collective down at Burnside Proper, and his handmade, custom, and very unique shoes. I am 99% sure he is the only guy in town making shoes (single guy—I’m not talking about Nike or Adidas here). The styles seem quite historically infulenced, esoteric, and remind me somewhat of the California-based label Cydwoq. Most of them are probably not for the average joe—it takes moxy to know how to work them. Check his newly updated web site for more photos and ordering info.

City Commissioner Sam Adams says he’s “open to the idea” of sending the Charter Review Commission’s recommendations to voters this May, even if he ultimately disagrees with them.

Still, he says, he’s not going to make up his mind until he hears from the entire commission this Thursday, January 18. Even then, he’ll conceivably have until March to make up his mind. (Thursday’s council meeting is only to accept the report—it’s not clear when a vote would come up to refer the recommendations out.) Whether he likes it or not, Adams is the swing vote, so his decision will most likely decide the fate of the mayor’s project.

But even if it goes forward, it’s unclear how much community support the charter reform will have. Changes to Portland’s form of government have been proposed numerous times—and have been shot down every time, most notably and recently in 2002. Given that May is only four months away, and given that there isn’t even a hint of a campaign started yet, and given that community interest in the idea is (at least from anecdotal evidence) staggeringly low, Potter will have an uphill battle to win one of the few issues on which he’s staked his mayoral legacy.

Feel like weighing in? The mayor’s office has finally set up a web forum to gather public input. Check it here.

In case you haven’t picked up on the clues, my asshole colleagues are all on their way to Las Vegas (by way of Los Angeles) at this very minute.

Coincidentally (yeah, right), the Adult Entertainment Expo also happens to be there this weekend.

Here’s hoping my co-workers come back with some “souvenirs.”

After more than a year of work, the Charter Review Commission last night voted to finalize their report to city council, outlining recommendations on Portland’s form of government, the Portland Development Commission and its relationship to the city, civil services reform, and periodic charter review. Next Thursday, January 18, the commission will present their recommendations to city council.

The full report is in a pdf here. But here are some of the highlights after the jump:

The commission is recommending a version of the "strong mayor" form of government--even if the commission members bristle at that term. Essentially, it sets up an executive/legislative split between the mayor and the city council. All of the city's bureaus would be managed by a chief administrative officer, who is appointed by the mayor and confirmed by the council. After the CAO is approved, though, he or she reports only to the mayor--city council doesn't have the ability to fire the administrator, since that would, in the words of the report, "overpoliticize" the CAO by making him or her constantly seek majority support on council. Looked at another way, "overpoliticizing" is a synonym for "holding the city administrator accountable to the voters of the city," and that lack of accountability isn't going to win over critics.

Since members of city council would no longer have bureaus to head up, their duties would be proposing legislation, approving and adopting the budget, and dealing with constituents. The mayor, in addition to being ultimately responsible for all bureaus, would be a regular voting member of the council, with no special veto powers.

Curiously, though, the report doesn't recommend dividing up the city into districts--members of city council would still be elected at large from the city. If the goal is to increase city council's responsiveness to and representation of voters, why not divide that representation up geographically?

Even more curiously, the commission's report doesn't address the "why change?" question until several pages in, and even then there's not much information about what it is they're trying to fix. Under the current system, the report says, the city's bureaus aren't connected, so citizens "may" have a hard time "navigating cross-bureau issues." The CAO-mayor form would bring all bureaus under one line of accountability--trouble is, the first layer of that accountability, the CAO, isn't an elected representative and isn't even accountable to city council, and is, in fact, a bureaucrat.

As for PDC, the commission is recommending, well, not a lot besides clarifying that the agency is supposed to implement city council's priorities. Last year, Randy Leonard, Erik Sten, and Sam Adams asked the commission to consider the possibility of gaining more control over PDC, either through its budget or taking over full control. The commission's PDC subcommittee, though, found that state law prevents the city council from controlling PDC's budget, and reported back that there was nothing they could do.

That wasn't quite the answer that a majority of council was looking for, though, and Sten has since spearheaded a charge to change state law that would give city council authority over PDC's budget. On Tuesday, he and the mayor sent the commission a memo, asking them to include in their report a section that would make city council PDC's budget committee, assuming that the state legislature adopts the needed changes. Last night, the commission declined to adopt the memo.

That means that council will probably tack that on to the commission's recommendations later--that possibility elicited anxiety from commission members, who consider city council tinkering with their report to be an "insult." From the tone of last night's meeting, the commission members want nothing less than to have their report adopted as a whole, and the sent to voters as a whole.

And that, of course, brings us to the million dollar question--will the city council agree to send the recommendations to the ballot box? Potter and Saltzman are a solid yes, and Sten and Leonard are a solid no on the form of government recommendations, but might send a stronger PDC reform package out to voters. The mayor's office and the commission have prodded Sten and Leonard to send all of the recommendations to voters, even if they disagree with them; Sten and Leonard have both said they believe voting for something they disagree with sends a confusing message to voters--something similar to John Kerry voting for the war in Iraq before he voted against it.

That leaves Sam Adams smack in the middle. He's on record as supporting a strong mayor form of government, but he's also on record as saying he doesn't like the commission's specific recommendations. He's also said that he's not satisfied with the commission's PDC recommendations. But will he agree to let the voters decide?

More on that later.

Listen, I’m not saying you have to get me anything for my birthday. I’m just putting this out there, just in case you want to. That’s all.

So what if you’re not toilet trained yet? It’s nothing to be ashamed of, and Blog Town—as always—is here to help. Check out these hilariously weird toilet training cartoons from Japan entitled PANTS PANKURO, and in no time you’ll be saying, “My pants! My pants! I need to do number two!!”

Domo Arigato, TV in Japan!

Nothing beats a fresh slab of tofu. If you’re buying it in a plastic crate at a supermarket what you’re eating is already past its prime. Portland is, of course, fortunate to have Ota Tofu company who make the stuff locally and what they do is honorable enough, but I found a new love yesterday….

Bui Natural Tofu (520 NE 76th) makes it fresh and sells it at a reasonable price. They are a Vietnamese-American enterprise, so they do it a little differently than the Japanese-American Ota, offering all manner of tofu variations as well as the straight-up bean curd that your cruelty-free ass has grown to love.

The variety pictured here has scallion, glass noodles and savory mushrooms embedded within its fried golden brown exterior and is extremely delicious.

They have a deli counter for walk-in customers and cater to wholesale buyers as well. Bui’s exceedingly fresh product and friendly attitude make it well worth the drive to outer Glisan.

Local punk act Autistic Youth are playing an all-ages show tomorrow night at Satyricon (125 NW 6th Ave) along with The Soda Pop Kids, The Power Chords, & The Pop Machine. The show starts at 8PM.

Here’s an extraordinarily noisy vid of Autistic Youth doing their thing:

I found this little flyer last night. Hell yeah! Three courses of dessert? Count me in.

A new episode of 3-Minute Limit has posted. This week we honor our beer-loving Northern neighbors with a very special Oh! Canada! edition. Meanwhile, check out this clip of hardcore stalwarts DOA rocking some cold war punk:

From the looks of yesterday afternoon’s city council session, Randy Leonard’s idea to ban smoking entirely from city parks has gone—sorry for the pun—up in smoke.

Instead, the commissioners used his plan as a starting point to pull back from, and now may be reconfigured to be something like “smoking is only allowed a reasonable distance from other people.” Over the next couple of weeks, the city attorney will be looking at how to word such a ban in a way that isn’t overly complex and can actually be enforced.

This idea appears to have the backing of at least a majority of council, but it raises a number of questions: What’s the measure of “reasonable distance”? What if you begin smoking a cigarette at a “reasonable distance,” but while you’re smoking someone walks closer to you? Do you have to move, or are they essentially giving consent? How would such a rule be enforced?

The number of questions prompted Mayor Potter, toward the end of the session, to say, “This kind of brings me back to supporting something like Randy’s idea,” since a total ban would at least be easy to understand.

What did get approved yesterday was an amendment to Dan Saltzman’s parks conduct rules that bans smoking within 25 feet of children’s play areas and within 25 feet of picnic tables. If you get a permit for an event at a park, you can decide whether it will be smoking or nonsmoking.

The mayor also wants Saltzman and the Parks Bureau to consider making parts of Portland International Raceway and the city’s golf courses non-smoking. Setting up nonsmoking areas at PIR would be as simple as dividing it up by bleachers—but golf courses? Would odd holes be smoking, and even nonsmoking? It’s hard to fathom how that would work.

Saltzman’s full set of rules changes will go to council for a vote in two weeks. Among them, bans on weapons, wiping snot on city property, and on sex offenders being in swimming areas and locker rooms.

The sex offender ban elicited the most intriguing testimony of the hearing. A middle-aged man who described himself as a registered sex offender (“I’m already endangering my job, my safety, and my family by even coming here to testify,” he began), who implored city council to remove the ban, saying it further isolates people who are marginalized by society.

“Sex offender mania has swept the country,” he said. He later added, “We’re not the monsters we’re made out to be—we’ve done something stupid and a price was paid for it.”

Further, he pointed to statistics—their sources not provided—showing that sex offenders have the 2nd lowest rate of recidivism among convicted criminals, and that “95 percent of all brand new sex offenses will not be committed by someone who is a registered sex offender.”

(Not sure where he got those numbers—the Bureau of Justice Statistics has a different view.)

After the session, Saltzman said that message didn’t resonate with him. “When we’re talking about protecting children at our public parks, I’d rather we erred on the safe side.”

Goat Whore
There’s something really funny about imagining a goat wearing high heels and a tube top.

Next Friday, January 19
Roseland Grill
8 pm, all ages
w/God Forbid, Mnemic, Still Dead

Yes, if it’s Friday, then that means it’s time once again for Blog Town’s regular feature, CORPORATE-APPROVED PEDOPHILIA FRIDAYS! This week, it’s former pop queen MANDY MOORE’S 1999 debut hit, CANDY, which I suppose is about oral sex? I dunno, YOU BE THE JUDGE!
(Safe for work… unless you are a male over the age of 35.)

Geez… for a 15-year-old, she REALLY likes candy.

The cops aren’t going to close North precinct, after all. But they might reallocate its management resources. From PIO Brian Schmautz:

Chief Sizer has reviewed the recommendation and determined that the Police Bureau will not close North Precinct. However, the Police Bureau is considering a realignment of precinct boundaries or a reallocation of management resources designed to more accurately reflect call loads and increase efficiencies within organization.

There’ll be community listening sessions on the bureau’s budget on February 7 and 20, but it’s hard to see how there can’t be major cuts made somewhere. The problem? As North Portland has become more and more chi-chi, East Portland’s call volume has grown and grown, making it hard for East precinct to serve the community’s needs. If North Portland suffered a little more crime, nobody would think of cutting its cop presence. Perhaps North Portland’s residents should hold up a few gas stations before the talks, or they’ll have to admit they’re over-served nowadays, compared to the rest of the city.

It’s now very unlikely that Chinatown’s controversial dragon sculpture at NW 3rd and Davis is going to stay where it is for much longer—the community, the Regional Arts and Culture Council (RACC), and even the artist himself want to move it—so whatever process has to be gotten out of the way, you can pretty much count it gone.UNLOVED: Dragon

“To remove something so quickly would be unique,” says Jeff Hawthorne, who is in charge of community involvement at the RACC.

But what should be done with the $22,000 sculpture? Who should it be given to? Should it be exploded with dynamite? I’m stumped. Perhaps, given its historic status as the quickest removed piece of public art in Portland, it should be consigned to a museum somewhere. Or a back yard. It’s up to the community…

1:49pm UPDATE: Scott Moore took this offline because we’ve already posted the news story, but the comments are important, so let’s continue trying the firefighters in the court of public opinion!!!!

ORIGINAL POST:

The Oregonian has news this morning, and more importantly, VIDEO FOOTAGE, showing Portland fire fighters beating a 47-year old man in the lobby of his apartment building. Go here for Aimee Green’s story.

Lt. Allen Oswalt, a spokesman for the Fire Bureau, said a different story likely would emerge if the videotape had also recorded what was said in the lobby.

“It’s too bad there isn’t sound in that video,” Oswalt said. “Because both of our guys interviewed said he was screaming profanities… . He was being very aggressive, in your face kind of stuff. Our firefighters felt threatened.”

Something tells me “feeling threatened” that won’t help the firemen evade discipline…but from the looks of the video, the guy was being very confrontational before the fray. Still, does that give city employees the right to beat him to the ground? Let’s try them in the court of public opinion!

A few Portland firefighters allegedly beat a man Thursday morning. The Oregonian has the full story, and video of the incident—firefighters pulled 48-year-old Terry DeGeorge down the ground in the lobby of his downtown apartment, and another firefighter kicked him several times. The fire department, which will review the video this morning, says DeGeorge was threatening the firefighters, who were there on a medical call.

I get excited for movies all the time: There are films that I look forward to for weeks and months in advance. Maybe this means I like movies too much, maybe this means I have too much free time. Whichever. Videogames, on the other hand—well, I get stoked for them every once in a while (Halo 2, Knights of the Old Republic, Fable, Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess… or, rather, I’d allow myself to get excited about that one, if it were possible to find a Wii anywhere, which it’s not). But usually, I don’t get all eager for new games—instead, I’ll wait to read reviews and see what gets the best reception from gamers and critics.

The rare games I do find myself getting curious and excited about, though, are usually the more cinematic ones—or at least the ones that are advertised in a cinematic way. I’m hardly naïve when it comes to advertising; I know how strongly, whether consciously or not, advertising affects me (and affects everybody, whether they admit it or not). But look at the ad below for Capcom’s Lost Planet, which looks like a lot of fun, and also looks exactly like a movie trailer. In fact, I saw this ad in a theater before seeing Children of Men for the second time, and it got me excited for the game—even though it shows no gameplay, and is like all CG. Still, I’m pretty sure this game looks awesome. And anyway, after Resident Evil 4 and Dead Rising, I’m willing to give Capcom all sorts of benefit of the doubt. Or maybe that’s just me being swayed by an ad that I think is pretty badass.

Anyway, the game comes out today for the 360; if any of you end up playing it, let me know what you think. I’ll be in Vegas this weekend, but I’d love to know whether or not this is worth picking up when I get back.

So every once in a while, we here at the Mercury run a videogame column called Geek Out. This week we didn’t have room for it (LAME!), but Ubisoft was kind enough to send us two of their big games for review. And hey, we like playing videogames! And we like reviewing them, too! So even though they didn’t make it into print, here are a few game reviews. The games: Rayman: Raving Rabbids for the Nintendo Wii, and Star Wars: Lethal Alliance for the Nintendo DS. Hit the jump for the reviews!

Rayman: Raving Rabbids (Developed and Published by Ubisoft; Now Available for the Nintendo Wi)

So you're Rayman, and you’re having a picnic one day with some friends, right? You’re minding your own business when all of a sudden some huge, robotic bunny kidnaps you. The next thing you know, you wake up inside a big stadium filled with creatures that look like the result of a zombie bunny mating with one of those Ugly Dolls you find in all the trendy toy boutiques. So what do you do? You try to fight your way to freedom, of course! And you do so by passing a series of over 70 mini-games referred to as “trials.”

Welcome to Rayman: Raving Rabbids, where you’ll spend most of your time conquering said trials, fighting your way to freedom from… bunnies. Sometimes you’ll be locking bunnies in bathroom stalls. Sometimes you’ll be shooting them with your plunger gun. And sometimes--well, sometimes you’ll be guiding marbles out of their brains, labyrinth-style. The variation in the trials--and the way the Wii’s remote is used differently for each--really makes Rabbids a lot of fun, but it also makes it extremely difficult and frustrating to play on your own.

This is the type of game to be played with a group of friends--and not necessarily as a party game. While the game does have a multiplayer mode, I found that working together and sharing tasks was much more enjoyable. Think about it this way: Each person in your group will have a natural talent. Some people--usually the musicians--are the best at rhythm games. Those who have a steady hand are great at the shooting and balancing games. And, the people who spend a lot of masturbating (I fall into this category) are best at the games that require vigorous shaking of the Wii remote for long periods of time. So when everyone works together, Rayman gains his freedom from the rabbids faster--and everyone feels special. Okay, so maybe nobody feels special, but I guarantee you’ll have a good time. CHRISTINE S. BLYSTONE

Star Wars: Lethal Alliance (Developed and Published by Ubisoft; Now Available for Nintendo DS)

I’ll admit it: If it has the Star Wars logo on it, I’ll play/watch/read it. I’m not proud of this fact. This weakness of character has sucked away more hours of my life than I care to tally, and almost all of them--movies aside--have been crappy hours. Or, at best, marginally tolerable hours. Hours I should spend thinking about philosophy, or volunteering with the homeless, or, really, doing anything other than feeding an already ridiculous devotion to George Lucas’ fantasy universe. But I don’t, and I’m hardly alone--there are millions of other Star Wars geeks out there, and Lucas and Ubisoft know it. Which pretty much explains why they can get away with putting out games like Star Wars: Lethal Alliance, a game developed for Nintendo’s DS and Sony’s PlayStation Portable.

First, the good: Yes. The game does have the Star Wars logo on it. Right on the cover. So that settles that.

Then, the rest: Man, this game is ugly. And I mean really, really ugly--if videogames had proms, Lethal Alliance would be the fat, lonely sad one, sobbing to itself at home while everybody else that didn't look like shit prommed it up. The DS isn’t the most powerful piece of hardware, but it can dole out some pretty great graphics. But Lethal Alliance is just lazy, full of blocky, sloppy colors, jagged geometry, uninspired design. Pair it up with underwhelming sound, and you’d swear the DS was incapable of supporting good looking and sounding games. But it’s not. Lethal Alliance just can't be bothered with good looks or sounds.

But okay--I'm being superficial. Ugly games can still have good personalities, right? But Lethal Alliance, uh, doesn’t have that either. A bland storyline smooshed between Episodes III and VI has you controlling a mercenary and her robot pal; crammed with forgettable characters and missions, you’ll likely skip through cut scenes as fast as possible and forget your objectives.

But okay--it’s all about gameplay, right? Yeah! That’s what games are all about! So let’s see… you can control this mercenary chick (well, sort of, using the D-pad feels clunky and imprecise), and every once in a while you get to play as her not-so-helpful droid, too… problem is, you don’t get to do anything that interesting. Since the game auto-targets all your enemies, shooting merely consists of tapping the same button over and over, while the occasional puzzles aren’t exactly that puzzling. Teamwork between your characters does factor in, and in short, too-rare bursts, the game can be fun--but when the fun parts are surrounded by so much bland platforming, mindless shooting, and frustrating boss fights, you’ll be hard-pressed to care. Overall, this alliance is more "marginally tolerable" than "lethal," and yeah, okay, looking back, that was probably to be expected. But this is the last rushed, half-assed Star Wars game I play, though. Seriously. For real. I mean it this time. ERIK HENRIKSEN

Remember when Jack Bogdanski blocked the Mercury from his blog, bojack.org? He’s lucky our panties don’t get scrunched up that tightly—probably because we wear these really awesome hipster ones from a yuppie store that’s ruining Portland—or he’d have one less thing to write about.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007 I scare myself sometimes

Around three years ago, I wrote:

Heaven forbid we should have enough cops when we can have streetcars.

Wait ‘til we start paying the operating subsidy for the OHSU aerial tram (which will shuttle folks to and from yet another Homer Williams development). At that point, the East Precinct may have to close.

I was kidding. But it turns out, I was right — almost dead-on right. Just as the tram comes on line, at a staggering operating cost, the city’s now talking about closing a police precinct (it turns out to be the North) due to budget problems.

Folks, the inmates have officially taken over this asylum.

Posted at 1:21 PM | Permalink

You’re welcome, Jack.

P.S. — I wasn't the only one to note the, um, irony of Jack's post. A screenshot, because who knows how long until Jack plays nanny.

UPDATE: Yep, Jack pulled that comment. Then this one appeared...

It’s time again for Blog Town’s NEW JACK SWING THURSDAYS, and… huh? What’s New Jack Swing?

From All Music:

New Jack Swing evolved in the late ’80s, when urban contemporary soul artists began incorporating hip-hop rhythms, samples, and production techniques into their sound. Some songs simply had hip-hop beats, others had rapped sections and sung choruses, but the overall result was an edgier, more street-oriented sound that seamlessly blended both the melodic qualities of soul and the funky rhythms of rap.

Other distinguishing characteristics? Matching red jackets, dressing like a football referee, high-top fades, and plenty of AWESOME! Check the following video, Boyz II Men’s MOTOWNPHILLY.

There’s a film opening at the Lloyd Cinemas 10 this weekend that’s apparently so incendiary, Lloyd Center Mall Services Manager—Mark Anthony Hanson—has hired cops to be on hand, just in case.

There is a movie release this weekend that could bring some problems to the Lloyd District including Holladay Park and the Lloyd Center. The movie will be in the Regal Theater located at Multnomah and 15th starting this Friday.

Regal has hired PPB Officers for Friday and Saturday nights from 2200 to 0000. The PPB Officers will be located inside and not outside.

Wow, what movie is this?

Stomp the Yard. Here’s a review, from our film shorts:

STOMP THE YARD

Stomp the Yard’s previews will try to convince you that this movie is a dramatic portrayal of a heartbroken-on-the-inside-but-still-tough-as-fuck kid from the hood who’s fighting one of life’s ultimate battles (the death of a younger brother) while also trying to regain a sense of self after watching (and feeling responsible for) the death of said brother. But don’t fall for that shit—Stomp the Yard is about motherfuckin’ dancing. Not only is there a bitchin’ soundtrack with the Roots, Public Enemy, and Ghostface Killah, but these Atlanta step crews with arms the size of my head have got some of the coolest fuckin’ moves this side of Footloose. And don’t worry, white people—there’s plenty of dramatic slow motion during the really awesome parts so you can keep up. MEGAN SELING

Yep, this is a film about a black kid—”DJ, a troubled youth from Los Angeles attending the historically black Truth University in Atlanta, Georgia” according to the film’s press material—who dances.

Seriously? Am I missing something here? Sure, the city’s been freaking out lately over “youth riots” near Lloyd Center. “Note that the local area surrounding this event location has been impacted by large groups of at risk youth,” according to an email from Tom Peavey in the city’s office of Youth Violence Prevention. “[The youth were] involved in disturbances, fights and assaults specifically on the dates of: November 24th, 2006; December 26,2006; December 27, 2006; January 5th, 2007; January 6th, 2007 (all during early evening hours).”

Ok. But does the mall really think a film about a black kid who takes up dancing is going to spark a riot? (Unless they expecting some sort of West Side Story rumble… that’d be something to see.) Fuck, if I were a youth, I’d riot because they’re bringing in cops for this.

After exploring their options, the classic, and very spendy Burberry line realized it’s cheaper to outsource labor, and are closing their factory in Wales (in operation since 1939), taking 300 jobs with it. Says the line’s director of commercial affairs, Michael Mahoney, “We found the costs of producing offshore were substantially lower than the costs in Wales. In fact, they were less than half,” he said. “Obviously, no one ever wants to walk into work in the morning and close a factory employing 300 people. But we had to act upon what we’d found.”

I know how he feels. I find the cost of buying original clothing from small, highly skilled designers—even ones who live in the very same city I do, and even when I have them custom-made over the course of several fittings with the designer themself—to be less than half as expensive than if I take out a loan to by something off the rack from Burberry that was outsourced by a corporation to be made and sold to those who think style is a name and a signature tartan. Obviously, no one likes to log into their online bank account in the morning and find their savings have dwindled to $3. That’s why one has to act upon common sense!

Trench, Burberry, priced at $2,995 on net-a-porter. Good thing their inventory will be less expensive once they’ve saved all that money by outsourcing offshore.

Scream at the Beach, the “biggest Halloween event in the Northwest,” is having a huge spring cleaning sale this weekend: They’re getting rid of old costumes and props including shoes, hats, special effects equipment, feathered parrots, vintage clothes, etc… Sounds like it might make a great weekend day trip, assuming the inclement weather doesn’t have y’all too petrified to drive to Jantzen Beach.

About the Sale: We’re the largest Halloween Event in the Northwest so our costume and prop collections are very large. Each season we introduce new themes and charaters to our show and phase out old ones. What this means is that after six years we’ve managed to collect quite a large variety of inventory. Many of these items are real antiques and are in excellent condition. Some of our sequined gowns would make a drag queen drool, and school and community theater departments can find ready made costume collections for upcoming plays. If it’s strange and unusual, we’ve probably got it somewhere in our collection!

Saturday, noon-5 pm, 1802 Jantzen Beach Center

At the end of December, a three-person majority of city council voted to ask the state legislature to allow council to have authority over the Portland Development Commission, acting as the agency’s “governing body.” (Currently, council hands over urban renewal money to the PDC, but the agency gets to decide how to spend it.)

Erik Sten, Randy Leonard, and Sam Adams believe that the PDC hasn’t done an effective job of implementing city council’s development priorities, and don’t exactly trust the PDC to reform itself. Their request from the legislature would give them complete control over the agency.

But two days ago, Sten and Mayor Tom Potter collaborated on a memo that pulls back from that plan considerably, saying the current proposal goes too far. So instead of making city council the PDC’s “governing body,” Sten and Potter are proposing something less—making city council the agency’s “budget committee.”

From the memo:

Acting as a “budget committee” grants the Council the right to approve the PDC’s budget and ensures public involvement in that process, while allowing PDC to retain the flexibility to meet market demands as they occur.

Our intent in proposing this change is to increase the PDC’s accountability to the community by aligning the agency’s specific actions with concrete policy goals and priorities set by the elected City Council. Our intent is not to grant to the Council or individual Commissioners line item authority or control over the agency’s budget.

Under this change, city council will set PDC’s annual budget at the same time it goes through the citywide budgeting process. You may not know it, but those budget hearings are open to the public, and community input is at least tolerated. The same would go for the PDC’s budget.

But! Once the budget is set, PDC would have the sole authority to implement it. The agency would still be quasi-independent, and would remain “entrepreneurial in the implementation of the Council’s policy goals; independent of outside influence, and able to quickly respond to changing market conditions and best business practices.”

“It’s close enough to what I was thinking,” Sten says, “but it gives us the authority to step in during years where PDC isn’t following our direction.”

The policy will allow PDC to make changes in the budget up to 10 percent per fund—anything beyond that will have to go back to city council for approval.

Sten and Potter also agreed that the change should be included in the recommendations being made by the Charter Review Commission and should go to voters this May. Tonight, the Charter Review Commission is meeting one last time before sending their final recommendations to council—the first item on the agenda is a discussion of Potter and Sten’s memo. If that’s the kind of thing you’re interested in, they’re meeting at 4pm in the Rose Room on city hall’s third floor.

Snow day! Err…

Photos, please: todayinpdx@portlandmercury.com.

While I’m a little concerned about the precedent Matt is setting by changing his behavior after a death threat (it’s like negotiating with terrorists, right?), I’m thrilled that he’s going vegan, if even for a week. I have no illusion that it’ll stick—science would have to invent a conscience implant for that to happen.

So, in the spirit of helping, here’s a link to the great Post-Punk Kitchen, a series of vegan cooking shows for the geek/punk set.

The host, Isa Chandra Moskowitz, also has a couple of great books out, Vegan With A Vengeance (which I own and cook from all the time), and the new Vegan Cupcakes Take Over The World.

That should get you started, Matt The Butcher.

If the long, cold winter makes you bitter, one of the nicest things you can do to comfort yourself is to wrap up in the candy cotton softness of cashmere. (You may also want to tend towards purchases that compliment the color of your cat, as felines are also quite kneady when it comes to the luxurious knit.) If cashmere’s your game, then prepare yourself for the January sale at Souchi (807 NW 23rd). Starting on the 18th, the all-cashmere Souchi line and other exclusive line at the store (you won’t find Ports 1961 anywhere else in the NW will be at 30-75% off. And on the first day of the sale, not only will their be champagne and cupcakes, but at the register you can participate in a drawing to get you 15-30% more off, even on top of the marked down price. From 4-7 pm on the 18th only. Check some of the cashmere here and after the jump:

Portland Public Art files another report on Chinatown’s controversial dragon sculpture, following Monday night’s packed meeting at the Legin Restaurant:

As Portland Public Art has previously listed, the artwork fails in several fundamental respects - an opinion the preponderance of the room shared.

RACC employed the city’s new civil solution - a pointless “listening session” where testimony from cranks and creeps is patiently, passively and patronizingly collected, collated, culled and chucked. The goal is to assess political damage, identify troublemakers and allow hot air to vent.

RACC staff blandly recited the project pathway to date, and patiently waited for two Chinese translators to make sense of it for the audience, largely made up of hostile Chinese. The nadir of the meeting was a RACC admin restating the city + PDC funded agency’s process for selecting the artist / artwork was successful, in opposition to the clear testimony from the articulate and concerned citizens.

PDX Public Art’s earlier analysis of the dragons is here. Choice quote: “From a distance is looks like a horrible dental extraction. Close up, it isn’t better.”

Life & Style is reporting that K.Fed has issued a new divorce settlement demand to Britney—either fork over 50 million smackers or he’ll fight her for custody of the kids (and though the idea of K.Fed being responsible for anything other than his own crabs is appalling—would Brit really be that much better?). To put it into perspective, 50 mill is roughly half of Britney’s entire worth, while K.Fed’s worth is roughly half a can of Coors.

The letters page of this week’s Mercury is devoted entirely to the lamb slaughter piece in last week’s issue, which has drawn my first ever death threat! Yay! From a VEGAN!

DEAR PORTLAND MERCURY AND MATT DAVIS—YOU THINK IT’S FUNNY TO KILL? WATCH WHERE YOU GO ALONE AFTER DARK. YOU NEVER KNOW WHO MIGHT BE FOLLOWING YOU. XVEGANX

I know what you’re thinking, this must be scary, right? But it’s alright. I’m okay. Really. No, seriously. I’ll get through it. Really. I’m fine. Now…Everyone says: “vegans are all underweight losers,” and not to worry, even if one of them jumped me I could probably take ‘em down. But that’s a lie. These are vegans, Swedish vegans:Aghh! And this is a Swedish vegan lady, no less, pushing a car:Imagine that car, with my corpse in the trunk! Scarrry. So I’m going vegan next week. And I need some recipes. And tips for keeping my sense of self in-tact. That kind of thing. Just don’t think this an olive branch or a piece(—spelling incorrect) peace pipe, anyone. I’m doing it for a week, and it’s solely out of cowardly fear for my life. And a modicum of abstract, journalistic interest, perhaps…Nope, nope, it’s just fear for my life. Sorry. Tips, please!

This morning, I finally picked up the paper edition of the Oregonian, and thought something seemed different.

Yup:

The O Resizes
Submitted by LynnS on Wed, 01/10/2007 - 8:22pm.

I forgot to note the O’s resizing this week from 50.5” to 48”, a size reduction that is rampant in the industry these days. Apparently not many people noticed—or cared enough to comment.

The Visual Arts editor at our sister paper, Jen Graves, wrote a love letter to Portland’s very own art blog, PORT, on Slog:

All Props and Such to PORT

In the last week, I’ve been drawn in at least three times to read all the way to the end of a very, very long post over at PORT, the spectacular blog on PDX art goings-on. Led by Jeff Jahn, whose review this afternoon on the new Storm Tharp show at PDX Contemporary is worth your full attention (and which contains links to every work in the show—oh, the instant gratification), PORT has a staff of several, and they do interviews, reviews, heads-ups, and wide-ranging op-eds. I’m jealous of PORT. Very, very jealous.

Before treating you to some Tharp pics (before this, I was lukewarm on the guy, and some of the works I see online from this show still strike me as twee, but man, several knock me out, and that’s more than I can say for any recent painting/drawing show in Seattle), let me note the other PORT spot you must click on: the 2006 curatorial roundup.

Head over to her post to check out the Tharp pics.

Just a reminder! Tomorrow afternoon, Portland City Council is holding its hearing on the new proposed parks rules, including Randy Leonard’s amendment to ban smoking in all parks areas.

To all the people who’ve been filling our posts with comments on the ban, tomorrow’s your chance to make your voice heard at city hall (not that your comments aren’t being read by commissioners and their staffers, because they are). You’ll have three minutes to rant to your heart’s content.

Here’s what you need to know:

2pm
City Hall
1221 SW Fourth
Council Chamber, Second Floor

John Doussard writes:

Amy -

Actually, I didn’t forget our conversation, and we have continued it here on several occasions.

We are pursuing a 2-track approach this year - first, we are delivering the traditional SOC at the City Club. The Mayor thinks there is a Portland history to observe and respect, and the role the City Club has played - and continues to play - in our city’s civic life should not be easily dismissed. But, we are discussing holding a “second part” to the speech out in the community - possibly at a venue like IRCO, although no site has been determined. We’re still trying to determine what that would look like - no one would want to simply repeat another speech. Interestingly, the folks who have been very supportive of the idea and are interested in helping us do this are….the City Club.

If the “second part” makes the leap from discussion to reality, we’ll keep you posted. That said, I think City Club—a great organization, I completely agree—should let go of the term “State of the City,” which carries its own public tradition. The City Club can continue to host an annual event with the mayor—call it “Lunch with Tom,” charge as much as you’d like, serve roast beef—but I suggested to Doussard that Potter should reclaim the “State of the City” for the public, and stop giving this speech in a fancy hotel!

Portland may be used to the “tradition” of outsourcing an annual public address to a private club, but that’s certainly not how it’s done in most other big cities.

In NYC, Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s 2006 speech was hosted by Staten Island’s Borough President, in a cultural center. His 2005 speech was at a community college in the Bronx.

Last night, Boston’s Mayor Thomas Menino got props for taking his speech “to the neighborhoods,” and delivering his State of the City in a community theater.

Seattle’s Mayor Greg Nickels gives his address in city council chambers. The City Council president (they’ve got a strong mayor system) offers a rebuttal.

San Francisco’s Mayor Gavin Newsom’s last speech was at a public high school. He’s also given his speech at San Francisco State University.

Los Angeles’ Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa also likes public schools—his 2006 speech was held at a South Los Angeles campus.

Minneapolis’ Mayor R.T. Rybak gave his speech at feel-good “Plaza Verde… now home to seven Latino-oriented businesses, Heart of the Beast Puppet and Mask Theater, and the Lake Street Business and Career Center.”

In Eugene, Mayor Kitty Piercy gave her speech last Thursday at a community theater.

But Houston—Houston!!!—has a system like Portland. Their mayor gave his address in a Hilton, at a luncheon, to the “Greater Houston Partnership” group.

One of my first acts after stepping off the boat from Seattle was to send a “Nice to meet you, but WTF?” email to John Doussard, spokesperson for Mayor Tom Potter.

My beef? I had noticed that Mayor Tom Potter would be giving his 2006 State of the City Speech at City Club. Why was the mayor delivering such an important public speech, one in which he would presumably lay out his priorities for Portland over the coming year, to a private club (one that charges admission to the event, no less)? Shouldn’t the state of the city be held in a very public venue, like city hall? (While we’re at it, Governor Kulongoski should be delivering his State of the State in Salem—but he also hits City Club.)

Even at $5, it seems ridiculous that the public has to pay to check out the Mayor’s state of the city address. Could you address the thinking that went into this decision? Why not hold it, public meeting style, in council chambers?

Doussard’s reply was great. City Club traditionally hosted, he explained, but it was something the mayor would revisit in the future—he even suggested that a community center might be a better venue than at city hall:

We are following in a tradition of giving this speech in front of the City Club, which has a long civic history in Portland. When the City Club issued its invitation, we quickly accepted.

However, I think you raise an interesting point, especially given this Mayor’s commitment to public involvement. While it’s too late to do anything about this year, I will talk with Tom about other venues in the future. And rather than City Hall, I think we might better serve everyone by holding the State of the City in a community center out in one of our neighborhoods.

As for this year, I know the address will be carried on tape on OPB the same evening.

Thanks for your ideas.

But this morning, I checked out City Club’s calendar:

Friday, Jan 19, 2007

State of the City with Mayor Tom Potter

So much for public involvement. What gives? I’ve asked Doussard, in what’s becoming an annual tradition.

This just in: Every one of the state’s elected officials may currently be high on drugs. That’s the message from the House Interim Committee on the Judiciary, which has requested a House bill that would require all of the top officials in the state to undergo drug tests twice a year.

And it’s about time! Look at this photo we took of Gov. Ted Kulongoski. He’s not even hiding it!

Here’s an excerpt from House Bill 2306:

Twice each calendar year, the following officials shall submit to a drug test designed to detect the presence of Schedule I or II controlled substances:

(a) The Governor.

(b) The Secretary of State.

(c) The Attorney General.

(d) The State Treasurer.

(e) The Superintendent of Public Instruction.

(f) The Commissioner of the Bureau of Labor and Industries.

(g) The Chief Justice and the judges of the Supreme Court.

(h) The Chief Judge and the judges of the Court of Appeals.

(i) The members of the Legislative Assembly.

(2) The Oregon State Police shall administer the drug test required by this section. The Oregon State Police shall establish the times and places at which the tests are administered.

(3) Refusal to submit to a drug test as required by this section is an admission that the public official has taken a Schedule I or II controlled substance without legal authorization.

If a public official fails a drug test, they’ll be forced into a treatment program by the state police, but it’ll be kept quiet. If they fail a subsequent test or refuse to go into treatment, the information will be made public. Which, you might have noticed, sounds an awful lot like blackmail.

But, of course, it’s the only way to make sure that the governor, or, say, the BOLI commissioner, isn’t high on crack while they’ve got their finger on the button.

But wait! That isn’t all—House Bill 2298 would create a “crime of possession of controlled substance by consumption.” In less legalistic terms, that means that if you’re high—even if you don’t have anything else on you—you can be charged with possession, a Class B misdemeanor, punishable by up to $2,500 and six months in prison.

I get it—if you’re high on a substance, you’ve technically got some of it inside you, meaning you’re in “possession” of it. But given that it’s in your body, doesn’t punishing you for possessing it violate your rights against unreasonable search and seizure?

Even if not, I’m pretty sure the answer to society’s problems, including jail overcrowding, isn’t increasing the criminality of recreational drugs.

Everybody knows Wallace Shawn from the Princesss Bride and My Dinner with Andre and Deep Space Nine and whatever else, but he’s also an accomplished playwright whose work (what I’ve read of it, at least) tends to be dark, political, and disturbing.

Tonight at the Heathman, the New House Theatre presents the Shawn’s Hotel Play, in which a hotel clerk introduces the audience to a freaky cast of characters all drawn in Shawn’s typically misanthropic style. The Times review of the original NY production calls the play both an “unabashedly nasty farce” and “a mad theatrical stunt” (read the whole review here). This is a rare opportunity to see one of Shawn’s lesser-produced works (in a hotel, no less). The cast of the play is huge, but the New House players are keeping the show intimate, allowing only 30-35 audience members per night, which should make for a really interesting experience.

And it’s FREE (suggested donation, natch).
Wed-Thurs 8 pm, Fri 10 pm, Heathman Hotel, 1001 SW Broadway
Call 971-563-4284 for reservations.

Go see some theater. Go on. Do it.

Most of us can probably only shop at Le Train Bleu (748 NW 11th) when there’s a big sale anyway, unless it’s payday and we’re about to embark on a month-long fast. Good thing there’s a big sale happening at Le Train Bleu right now.

For the second time in one week, I’ve noticed that local postal workers are being blatantly shadowed by plain-clothes stalkers. The Mercury’s mail carrier had someone in a dark SUV following her on her route. This “stalker” was dressed in a dark coat, bright tie, and had bleached blond hair. Today, I saw a postal worker being shadowed by an older man carrying a grocery bag—he was following the carrier from house to house and then back to the USPS truck. So what the fuck is going on? Any postal workers out there who can give me the rundown?

The tables are turned.

Answer after the jump…

Yes, that's a barrel-necked, spit-glistened BRITNEY SPEARS.
All together now: Tsk… tsk… tsk.
Remember when she looked like this?

City council this morning appointed a racial profiling committee with the goal of eliminating racial profiling in the police bureau over the next five years.The names of those serving on the committee were read out this morning before a vote, by Jo Ann Bowman, of Oregon Action, who co-authored the report, along with Alejandro Queral of the Northwest Constitutional Rights Center, and Police Chief Rosie Sizer. As we reported last week, the cops union says it will now come to the table, having overcome its earlier resistance. Sizer will also co-chair the committee alongside Bowman.

“For a community to be truly safe,” said Tom Potter, “it has got to be physically safe, and it has got to feel safe. I want Portland to have a safe environment physically and emotionally, so that when people call 911, they’re calling a friend to help them. This is a big step for Portland, actually engaging the citizens to work with the police to take care of it. Perhaps Portland can discuss the issue of race in a way that not only leads to constructive dialogue, but to constructive action.”

Afterwards, Clayborn Collins, who chaired the community listening sessions on racial profiling and will now serve on the committee, stressed the importance of getting results from the work so far.”I’m hoping the city and the mayor are actually serious about eradicating the problem in the police bureau,” he said.

“I’m pleased we have such a diverse group of stakeholders forming the committee, and we have a lot of momentum,” said Queral. “But this needs to combine to create results. Portland is really tired of committees that go nowhere.”

From today’s Oregonian:

The City Council will announce today on the creation of a new racial profiling committee, co-chaired by Portland Police Chief Rosie Sizer and Jo Ann Bowman, a former legislator and associate director of Oregon Action. Its first meeting is Jan. 30….

Robert King, president of the police union who had not participated in prior community listening sessions, at a council meeting in October chided the organizers as essentially labeling Portland’s cops as racist. He denied that any profiling exists. Since then, he’s met with Bowman and decided to come to the table.

That’s a major about face for King, who’s resisted talk of racial profiling all year. Wait a minute! Where have I heard this before?

Oh, right—Matt Davis broke that news in the Mercury. A week ago.

King has faced intense pressure to come to the table, both from local media and those involved in setting up the commission—including Oregon Action Associate Director Jo Ann Bowman, and Alejandro Queral, executive director of the Northwest Constitutional Rights Center (NWCRC).

King refused to do so, and even avoided Bowman’s calls for some weeks following his outburst at city hall, according to her. But King finally met with her at the African American-owned Reflections coffee shop on NE Killingsworth two weeks ago, to tell her he had reconsidered.

But that’s par for the course: The O also followed up on the Chinatown dragon story today (it’ll be in our paper today as well, but it was on Blogtown yesterday). It’s an issue we’ve been covering since mid-December. The O caught up last week.

City council delayed the presentation this morning of a controversial report on officer-involved shootings by two weeks, following suggestions the city auditor’s office might have been trying sneak it through at short notice, without giving the community sufficient chance to respond.

As Amy reported earlier, Dan Handelman of Portland Copwatch wrote to City Council last night, urging them to pick another date for the hearing, originally scheduled to take place just an hour after the release of the report at 9.30am by City Auditor Gary Blackmer’s office. Such a short space of time is rare, and Handelman, and others were also tied up with a separate 9.30am hearing to appoint a racial profiling committee, giving them even less chance to read the report before it went before council. The hearing will now take place at 3pm on January 24th.

Instead, IPR director Leslie Stevens had to tape sets of statistics to the wall outside her office while addressing the media, which show a fall in officer shooting incidents, from an average of 9.2 per year between 1997 and 2002, to 5.5 per year between 2003 and 2006.“Auditor Gary Blackmer and I believe that the work of PARC, myself and the Police Bureau has prevented some shootings,” Stevens said.

But the statistics themselves are in danger of being lost in a shit-storm around their presentation. Blackmer became clearly agitated when asked why the report’s presentation to council is now being delayed by two weeks, snapping: “City council chooses what it want to have a big public hearing on, this was about us releasing the report. It’s hard for the public to comment on something that has not yet been released.”

The report is a second follow-up to an initial report produced by the Los Angeles-based Police Assessment Resource Center (PARC), and released in 2003, three weeks after the shooting of Kendra James. Critics, including Handelman, say PARC has done little to address the continued racial disparity of Portland’s officer shooting incidents.

A separate set of statistics shows 42% of Portlanders now think the city is doing a “good or very good” job of controlling misconduct by cops, compared to 35% in 2004. They also show a decline in those thinking it is doing a “bad or very bad” job, from 31% two years ago to 22% now. But critics think grouping all misconduct, from swearing to shootings, under one “misconduct” umbrella is too broad.

“I’m glad city council has postponed the report to give the community a chance to review it,” said Alejandro Queral of the Northwest Constitional Rights Center. “But the public perception is still less than 50% of the public think the city is doing a good job of controlling misconduct. And I wonder, too if that is as a result of the broadness of the question.”

For her part, Police Chief Rosie Sizer was reluctant to get involved. “I’ve got nothing to hide,” she said. “So it’s okay with me if it comes out now or in two weeks.”

Hmm, geez, do you think I should try to buy one of the new entry-level condos everyone’s developing and pay a higher-than-rent mortgage to live in another apartment? Or maybe a one bedroom house further south of Foster than I have ever actually even been? Forget that! I’m gonna hold out until I’m a millionaire and then I’m gonna score a sweet pad like Dracula had. If you’re already a millionaire (like, a lot of millions millionaire), beat local Romanian authorities to the punch and score the coolest house ever—now on the market!. I’ll be your official in-house party planner.

After work last night I stopped by Maiden in the Mist (639 SE Morrison), the new bar from Shelia Baraga (former owner of both the Empire Room and Sapphire Hotel). I was a little bit wary of the nautical theme (Pirates Tavern, anyone?), but I actually really like the way this place came together.

The décor evokes a moody, romanticized vision of the seafaring life—more scrimshaw and model ships inside bottles, less parrots and peg legs. The space is dark and cozy, decorated with paintings of the ocean, lots of candles and pretty overhead lamps, and some mermaid-on-mermaid action in the women’s restroom. It’s pretty small, with a handful of booths and tables, and very intimate—everyone in the place seemed to be having meaningful heart-to-hearts.

The full bar is complete with frills like fresh ginger, prickley pear puree, and mint, and house cocktails with names like Trim the Wench (not sure what that means) and Scurvy Dog. These may be subject to change, though—the bartender was soliciting feedback on cocktails last night, and while I really liked my Man Cherry (save it), a Makers Manhatten with cherry puree, other customers seemed less satisfied with their drinks. Oh yeah, and there are only two taps, pouring Laurelwood’s Mother Lode Gold and (I believe) TG’s IPA, plus Iron City and a Polish porter in the bottle.

More after the break!

The joint has only been open for about a week, and they’re still working out the new-restaurant kinks, so I didn't delve too deeply into the menus. At a glance, though, the food menu is reminiscent of the Sapphire—a little bit of highbrow this and that, local ingredients and international flavors mingling (braised lamb stew with butternut squash, seasonal vegetarian frittata, swiss chard with raisins, chickpea and almond koftas. A pdf of the menu is available on the website). Prices are totally reasonable, topping out at $9 chicken tagine, and breakfast and lunch offerings look promising.

The bartender and servers were all super nice, and I kind of dig the fact that the uniform for dudes is a white V-neck (there were no women working last night, but apparently they have to wear peasant blouses, which sounds a little cheesy).

I believe they’ll be open from 10 am-1 am, seven days a week—I held off on eating since the place is so new and apparently the menu is set to undergo some changes, but I’ll definitely be back to try the food (Has anyone eaten there yet?). For now, it's a great new spot to grab a drink, soak up the charming atmosphere and enjoy the equally charming service.

Lots o’ hot TV news for you television lovers (and haters):

According to USA Today, your favorite faux right-winger Stephen Colbert, and most hated real right-winger Bill O’Reilly have agreed to appear on each other’s shows on January 18! “I’m really looking forward to speaking to a man who owes his entire career to me,” O’Reilly said. And according to Colbert, “It is an honor to speak face-to-face with a broadcasting legend, and I feel the same way about Mr. O’Reilly.” SET THOSE TiVoS NOW!

I’m tickled pink about the upcoming season six premiere of 24 (Sunday, Jan 14, 8 pm Fox)! Check out this week’s Mercury, hitting the web at around 5 pm today, where I interview Mary Lynn Rasjkub (the wonderfully grumpy Chloe O’Brian) about this season’s adventures. And also check out this story about producer Howard Gordon’s efforts to make Chloe sexier than ever! Says Gordon, “We’ve seen [Chloe] mature incrementally every year and she’s more adult, more serious and more attractive because of all those things.” Gordon said Chloe’s new hairstyle was “designed to be a little sexier.” As to whether Chloe would ever end up with Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland), “I guess that would be the measure of how desperate we are.” Hmmm… that sounds like an insult.

And! Buffy the Vampire Slayer creator JOSS WHEDON has signed on to direct an episode of THE OFFICE (which is going to make Erik Henriksen’s constant attempts to pooh-pooh this great show that much more difficult)!

I stupidly missed the atrocious remake of The Wicker Man when it was in theaters, but goddamn, this makes me want to go out and rent it immediately. I cannot recommend this selection of “Best Scenes from The Wicker Man” highly enough. It is amazing. Nicolas Cage is amazing. And not to spoil anything or whatever, but something else that’s amazing is watching a bear punch someone in the face. Which you will see. In this amazing video.

Mr Blackwell has released his list of the Worst Dressed Stars of 2006 (finally, geez what a slacker). His list is much longer than mine, but to recap, I named Johnny Depp, Brooke Hogan, Jared Leto, Beyonce, and Victoria Beckham as my top five worst dressed in ‘06. As per usual, Blackwell and I disagree. His list:

• Britney Spears—(okay, I pretty much agree)
• Paris Hilton—Disagree! While there may be many questionable aspects to her character, and she has the unfair advantage of a virtually unlimited shopping allowance, Hilton does have an amazing figure and looks very good in her clothes. And while she makes some youthfully spirited missteps (usually erring on the side of slutty), she shows up well enough turned out more often than not, and way to much to make a list of this sort.

See, she’s fine. More after the break.

Other victims of Blackwell's judgement:

• Camilla Parker-Bowles (so boring, who cares?)
• Lindsay Lohan—Disagree… sort of. I always thought LiLo had pretty good taste in clothes, but in towards the end of this year she has been slipping. And, unlike Blackwell, who obviously has something against vag-slips, I really am just talking about her clothing choices and those weird gold gladiator sandals. I have a hard time finding underwear I like too. So while calling her one of the worst is a little too extreme, she definitely needs a wakeup call.
• Christina Aguilera—AGREE! This bitch was one of my runners up.
• Mariah Carey—I could think of a lot of things that piss me off more than the same sparkly mini dress seen over and over everytime Mariah goes out in public, but mostly she just needs some variety.
• Paula Abdul—Not being an American Idol watcher or give-a-shit-er, I really can't say.
• Sharon Stone—Sigh… sadly I agree. She has gone completely batshit. Witness:

His other boring picks are Tori Spelling, Sandra Oh, and Meryl Streep.

He likes: Kate Winslet (agree!), Angelina Jolie (disagree! She's beautiful, but all she ever wears anymore are jeans and t-shirts and flip-flops. Bring back that leather evening gown!), Katie Holmes (Disagree! Banana Republic, anyone?), Beyonce (Disagree! Again, beautiful, but usually dressed for Stars on Ice!), Marcia Cross (Disagree! I've never even noticed her (clothes)