I’m going to stay vegan, at least for another week, thanks to more than 100 Blog Towners who voted to decide my dietary desiny since yesterday. Right now, the poll shows 57% think I should stay vegan, 28 % thought I should only eat sustainable meat and dairy, while a mere 15% thought it didn’t matter (and there I was, thinking it didn’t, at least, not all that much). So I’m off to eat vegan at the Van Hahn restaurant down on SE 82nd, the place run by Buddhist monks. In the mean time, how about a little light reading? This week’s New Yorker carries a book review about the history of vegetarianism. How’s this for a first paragraph:

During the great black-pudding controversies of the late seventeenth and early eighteenth centuries, it was put about that Sir Isaac Newton abstained from this dish because of the Old Testament prohibition against eating blood.

That’s right, there’s been controversy over meat-eating since way before factory-farming was invented. Enjoy…

At last Thursday’s Charter Review hearing in front of city council, Mayor Potter announced that council would be discussing the review commissions recommendations again on February 7—which will set the stage for a decision by council on whether to send the recommendations to the ballot. The push is clearly to get the recommendations on the ballot this May; Potter made a very public call for a spring election during his State of the City Club speech on Friday.

This is a terrible idea, for a number of reasons. Putting aside the question of whether a couple of months would be long enough for a fully informative campaign, the sole fact that the election would be during a “primary” election during an off year is either a.) naivety on the part of the mayor and his supporters, or b.) a cynical political attempt to push the changes through when very few Portlanders will be inclined to vote.

As I’ve pointed out before, the 2006 primary election brought in just a little over 30 percent of the vote—and that was with two council seats open, loads of public attention from the Voter Owned Elections program/scandal, and the contentious race between Diane Linn and Ted Wheeler for county chair. Charter changes—including both the PDC element and changing to a strong mayor form of government—are already well outside mainstream interest/attention. The likely result—an embarrassingly low turnout, and a small handful of people deciding Portland’s future.

I firmly disagree with the mayor and Dan Saltzman’s position that a campaign will be the most effective way to get interest and start a discussion. The way the process has unfolded, the discussion can’t be over what form of government Portlanders believe is best for their city—the discussion will be limited solely to the recommendations presented by the review commission. What if voters want something like a strong mayor, but they want districted representation, or for the mayor to be strictly executive, with no vote on council? What if they want the Chief Administrative Officer to be accountable to city council, and not just the mayor? Whatever “discussion” a campaign would produce would be limited to campaign soundbytes and, as Amanda Fritz said, to a yes or no vote.

But, while I’m a huge fan of the commissioner form of government for Portland, I strongly believe that citizens should get to decide (I’m echoing the position of the League of Women Voters and others here). And for Erik Sten, Randy Leonard, and Sam Adams, simply voting to kill the recommendations is not, I believe, politically viable.

So here’s what I’m recommending: On February 7 or the week after, Sten, Adams, and Leonard should introduce a resolution calling for a vote on the form of government in 2008—at either the primary or general election. The resolution should also ask the Charter Review Commission to spend the intervening time publicizing and holding town halls and public forums (real public forums, not just meetings at which public attendance is tolerated) to gather public input and incorporate those changes into the final draft. (I don’t buy Saltzman’s theory that further public meetings would only bring in 15 people.) This would ensure that the document reflects wide public sentiment, and that it would be voted on by as large a percentage as possible.

Of course, it blows that the review commission would have to add another year onto their service, but we’re discussing a thorough change to the form of government. That’s not a decision to rush simply because people are tired.

Potter and Saltzman will continue to say that this May is the best time for an election. But their reasons—that the issue has “momentum” right now, and that candidates who run in 2008 have a right to know what kind of government they’re running for—fall far short of making up for the major pitfalls of an early election.

Lucky you, Portland. Tonight you have at least two incredible happenings happening—and they’re scheduled so that you can hit up both of them.

First up is a screening of art collective Paper Rad’s eye-melting, mind-bending film Trash Talking, which blends bizarre flash animation with collages of toy advertising from your childhood. I stumbled into the editorial break room one afternoon while Chas Bowie was watching the DVD, and accidentally spent the next 45 minutes staring at the screen, utterly transfixed.

Here’s what Chas had to say in this week’s Mercury:

When Aphex Twin’s Windowlicker video came out on VHS in 1998, I immediately bought a copy and showed it to every person who walked in my house for the next five years. It’s not fair to call the mandatory screenings a litmus test, since nearly every single person agreed it was one of the best things they’d ever seen. Last year, a new DVD came my way that occupies the same role in my life—Trash Talking by psycho/lo-fi/visionary art collective Paper Rad. Clocking in at an epileptic 60 minutes, Trash Talking is a mind-altering collage of 8-bit graphics, dancing Gumbys, trance-inducing RGB color flashes, and troll dolls. Lots and lots of troll dolls. It’s as if Paper Rad collected every videotape, website, radio advertisement, and sticker collection you’ve ever seen, threw it all in a blender, and resurrected the shards into a post-techno monument to the pixilated moment where your childhood and the distant future collide.

And here’s the trailer for the film:

Paper Rad: Trash Talking
5th Avenue Cinemas, 510 SW Hall, 8pm

And once that’s done (the run time is less than an hour), you can take what’s left of your brain and drag it over to Doug Fir to catch America’s Funnyman, Neil Hamburger, drop a steaming pile of terrible comedy on the city. I don’t care what any of you say, this man is hysterical.

Neil Hamburger w/ Pleaseeasaur
Doug Fir Lounge
830 E Burnside
9pm, $10

As we reported this week—and as is being discussed at length on BikePortland.org—two cyclists were attacked by three teenaged girls at a bus stop on N Williams near Legacy Hospital last Wednesday, January 10.

As we reported:

The incident also touched off some simmering racial tensions. The attackers were African American, while the bikers—both female—were white.

One of the assailants allegedly kicked Heather Moles’ back wheel, sending her to the ground. When fellow cyclist Ashley Gorman stepped in, both were pummeled by the three female teens, according to Gorman.

The incident was witnessed by a bus stop full of people, as well as by people on an approaching bus. But by the time the cops arrived, the assailants had fled, and the bus had left with all of the witnesses.

Now someone’s floating the idea—via the Shift to Bikes email list—of steering the monthly Critical Mass ride up to the scene of the attack. Critical Mass is next Friday.

I have an idea, I also sent via the CM list… Don’t know if it went through so I’m sending it on this list.

I think it may be a good idea, any suggestions….

The last Critical Mass, and the “Peoples Ride,” was small. It was my first time ever attending such a ride. I enjoyed it, but after all these posts about cyclists attacks, and comments the people are making, i have an idea.

Because of the police escorts and such on the critical mass rides, and since they follow critical mass when there is enough riders. Why doesn’t Critical Mass, and the “Peoples Ride” that meets at Lent’s Park all ride down to North Portland Where the attacks have been happening, and inform the police on the ride with us, what is happening. Make the bicycle presents known, and tell the neighborhoods that we aren’t going away…

I have a picture in my head of 100s or thousands of cyclists going down into north portland and making our statements heard to the police and everyone else that has a problem with us…

Lets do this… any ideas…

We’ll keep you posted.

The kids over at Urban Honking are holding a rad contest: If you can correctly guess what object they’re showing under extremely strong magnification, you might win a pair TOMS shoes. (The company’s rad, too—for every pair of shoes you buy, they donate a pair to needy kids in South America.)

First, the shoes (they’ve got a ton of styles).

Now, day two of the mystery object, magnified. Yesterday’s photo was even more close in, and looked like some fiber-y strands.

Head over there to play!

It’s day five of being vegan, and people have been weighing in left, right, and center on the subject. Last night, I went to the Metblogs meetup at Crush, on SE Morrison, and Betsy offered me one of these killer nachos:Without even thinking, I was about to take it—but luckily, everyone thought for me, so thanks! Speaking of “thinking for me,” now’s your chance to decide my destiny for next week:

I’ll do what you say. I’m at your mercy! So get voting—the poll closes in 24 hours. The reason I ask is: One of the most interesting points on yesterday’s post, apart from the one about “vegans doing the most blow” (is it something about extremes?), was this one, by a guy called Dan:

I became a vegetarian due to the environmental, and societal (i.e. humane treatment) reasons only. After being a vegetarian for 10 years I re-assessed my beliefs and analyzed my possibilites. I determined that my reasons for becoming a vegetarian in the early 90’s no longer applied. I found I could have a far more beneficial environmental, societeal, AND economic impact on the world (but most importantly my local community), NOT by being a vegetarian, but by purely focusing on buying only local products. This includes meat, but as I said, I don’t have a problem with killing animals.

In many ways, it seems the difference between eating local meat, which has been humanely reared and killed, and eating meat which has been produced on a massive scale, is as big as black and white. I plan to write a feature on “the vegan experience,” but want to go to a sustainable farm first, and soak in all the information you’ve all thrown my way, before so-doing. Don’t worry, these blogs stop on Sunday. I’d just enjoy your feedback, that’s all.

People have asked me if I’m “longing for a steak,” but honestly, I could take one or leave one. The biggest difference I’ve noticed in the last five days is having a lot more energy, and being far less prone to aggression than normal. On average, I’m not a psycho, but I’ve been less pissed off with Mercury news editor, Scott Moore, this week (and believe me, he can be really annoying, look at the picture below) than usual. MOORE: less irritating, somehow

Also, I’ve stopped screaming obscenities at cars when they cut me up on my bike. On balance, I’m far happier being vegan than I was last week…more tomorrow—including your decision on my dietary destiny.

While I’ve been tied down to enthralling—although time-consuming—events like city council’s charter review hearing and the mayor’s “State Of The City Club” speech, local bloggers have been tearing away at news that passed me by.

So, I have no option but to post links to some of my favorite blog posts over the past couple of days—I highly recommend all of them, for varying reasons.

Yesterday evening, after spending two hours debating the merits of the Charter Review Commission’s recommendations, and whether city council has an obligation to pass them on to Portland voters, city council tackled Sam Adams’ Business License Fee reform—ultimately passing it with a surprise unanimous 5-0 vote. Randy Leonard had long been expected to be a no vote, but after overwhelming public testimony in support of the reform, he changed his mind and voted yes.

Here’s what local rightwing blog OregonCatalyst.com had to say: “There were lots of people who helped create this victory, and the one we saw work his heart and soul out was Dave Lister. Lister sacrificed of his time, his business, his money and his sanity to score this needful win for struggling small businesses. Lister may have knocked a few months off of his life due to stress, but we got a tax cut!”

That’s right, good ol’ Dave Lister singlehandedly won a tax cut for small businesses. Shame, though, that Lister moved his business to Tigard to escape Portland business taxes, making him ineligible to reap the reward of his hard work.

Closer to our side of the political spectrum, our friends at Loaded Orygun have been chipping away at Measure 37, breaking the news that the Oregon legislature has created a joint committee to figure out what to do with the confusing, broken law, which is good news for city and county governments who have zero idea how to deal with M37, which has made land-use laws unenforceable. Topping that, LO broke the news that a Jackson County circuit court judge has ruled that M37 isn’t transferable to new land owners.

Over at BlueOregon.com, Jesse Cornett and Kari Chisholm have co-authored a post pitching an idea that I think is a no-brainer—moving Oregon’s presidential primary to February. Currently, Oregon doesn’t chime in on presidential candidates until May, long after the races have already been decided. This would raise the profile for Oregon, and make the state the beneficiary of hundreds of millions of campaign dollars. All it will take is a change in state law—and hey, waddya know, there just so happens to be a bill in front of legislators right this very minute that would do that very thing. Now all it needs is a champion in the legislature to carry the thing home.

Happy reading.

Not too much info about this cat, and the props are just starting to roll out, but I just heard this track from CHIP THA RIPPER today, and I LOVE IT. Called “Chains,” it takes Aretha’s “Chain of Fools” and blows it up big. I chair danced for the entire number! Anyhoo, Chip tha Ripper from Cleveland, OH? I’m glad to meet you.
LISTEN TO IT HERE… and let us know…
WILL YOU BUMP IT, OR DUMP IT?

Many thanks to Discobelle!

The army won’t be getting any more troops from North Portland this afternoon—eight angry grandmothers forced the military recruitment center on NE Broadway and 13th to shut down after threatening to stage a sit-in until they were arrested.The grannies, part of a 50-strong protest organized by the newly formed Surge Protection Brigade(SPB)—which is against President Bush’s intent of sending 20,000 more troops to the war in Iraq—put a sign saying “mission accomplished” above the door of the closed recruitment center this afternoon.

“I’m pleased they closed down, that we could disrupt them without getting arrested,” said Sara Graham, a 66-year old retired counselor, and one of the raging grannies. “But we’ll be back next week.”

“New recruits are being given no information about potential exposure to depleted uranium, or the risks involved of a tour of duty in Iraq,” said Marianne Barisonek, a spokeswoman for the SPB. “We feel recruits need to make more informed decisions.”

Cops’ spokesperson Brian Scmautz says the recruitment center decided to close after talking about the protest with a representative from NE Precinct. “If we know somebody is going to be the target of a protest, we don’t want to go arresting folks and tie up valuable police resources,” he says. “There are a lot of other things we can be doing.”

The recruitment center is yet to call us back.

While the vegans of Portland have been very generous in giving Matt a butt-load of suggestions, literature and movies to help him through his week of veganism, they forgot one of the most persuasive video arguments for a vegan lifestyle that I’ve ever seen. And it’s from Sesame Street.

Someone emailed us a photo of a gigantic snow penis—think snowman, but in the shape of an 11 or 12 foot erect dick—the other day, but rolled my eyes when I saw it. Maybe it’s because I grew up in MN, or maybe it’s because I had a lot of male friends in high school, but I’ve seen more than my fair share of snow dick. Lame. Tired. Played.

But it sounds like this snow penis—or another one just like it—has an interesting back story. We got this in a separate email just this afternoon. It seems the University of Portland—the Catholic college in North Portland—has a zero tolerance policy when it comes to cold cock. The photo, of what I assume to be the snow dick in question, is after the cut for those of you at work or just as bored with snow penises as I am.

From Patrick H.:

On wednesday with the day off school a couple friends and i decided to go build something in the snow, but not just anything. A giant snow penis, complete with head, balls and veins, it took us all day to make the 11 foot high cock and everyone who drove by our Willamette Blvd house loved it. Most waved some honked and plenty got our of their cars to take pictures, meet us and shake our hands. Hundreds of people saw it on their drive home and most loved it.

Apparently not all did, because around 6 pm campus safety from the University of Portland came knocking. Three of my roomates go to school their and we only live about three blocks from it. Citing neighbor complaints traffic issues and general moral decency, they asked us to take it down. I told em to go suck it and then they started threatening the students of the house with explusion from the school.

None of them were home at the time and they didn’t even know about its construction let alone had a hand in it, i pointed this out to the wanna-be-pigs and they said it didn’t matter they could be kicked out none the less. I said fat chance and closed the door on them.

They came back later saying the cops were on the way to cite us and take it down themselves. I told them about all the squad cars that had drove by and the honks of encouragement that one of the officers gave us, but they didn't care. I told em I'd love to talk to the cops and see what my legal rights really were, called their bluff again and they drove off.

They came back one last time seeing if we would budge, I told 'em I wans't taking it down but not up for a fight to stop them from taking it down. They went at it with pick axes and shovels, what took us 8 hours to build they took down in five minutes. I take solace knowing they broke an axe and actually had to work maybe even breaking a sweat and that literally hundreds of people saw it on their drive home from work.

I think its ridiculous that the Catholic Church would care about a snow penis enough to send goons to shove their morals on three individuals that aren't even associated with them. Overstopping their bounds? I would say so.

If it’s Friday, then that must mean it’s BEAR WITH A COWBOY HAT FRIDAY here at Blog Town, PDX! And boy, do we have a goodie for you today: it’s the brand spanking new video from OF MONTREAL entitled, “Heimdalsgate Like a Promethean Curse” from their upcoming release Hissing Fauna. It’s super-duper funny/weird (‘natch) and includes a guy running around in a sperm suit, Robin Hood, a ghost, and of course, a BEAR WITH A COWBOY HAT.

ENJOY! (Got any more videos featuring a bear in a cowboy hat? Send them to “Bear with a Cowboy Hat Fridays,” c/o Blog Town, PDX!)

Tip o’ the bear’s cowboy hat to Forkcast!

Hello from the Mayor’s State of the City speech, coming at you from the 4th floor ballroom of the Governor Hotel. There are plates of chocolate covered strawberries making the rounds. Ooo la la. The city has posted the full text of the speech here.

Mayor Potter introduced all of the officials in the room (state reps and senators, city volunteers), and now he’s working on the city commissioners. He praised Erik Sten’s work on housing so far, and Dan Saltzman’s “powerful voice for children and family issues.”

He joked that Randy Leonard is “a passionate advocate of… just about anything.” Biofuels, ending the war, you name it. And Sam Adams—who’s sitting with me and Scott in the very last row (which means we’re doing our best to act like grownups and not crack too many jokes… Scott and I, that is. Sam is always a serious grownup)—was dubbed “the only commissioner with the misfortune of a name that rhymes with tram,” he said. “Hi Sam. Sam the Tram.” Then he gave Adams props for helping make the tram a reality, and bringing the west side big pipe in “on time and on budget.”

Now he’s quoting Martin Luther King… “Life’s urgent and most pressing question is, what are you doing for others?” It seems that’s his theme. Cue VisionPDX… making your community better… it’s not just about “taxes and terrorism,” but giving our community a “true sense of ownership for what’s going on in our city.”

He says he's going to offer a first impression of some of the insights from VisionPDX. But first, a reflection on his first two years, which he says others have pegged as a time of "quiet contemplation" on his part. He says he disagrees, citing the Bureau Innovation Projects.

Now he's promoting the new incarnation of the sit-lie ordinance, claiming it "will not harm anyone's rights." That got his first bout of applause.

"There are an estimated 2,000 gang involved youth in Multnomah County," the mayor says—but "we don't know who half of them are," according to Potter (which makes me wonder how they know we've got 2K...). He gave props to John Canda, director of his office of youth violence prevention.

Now on to business, and economic vibrancy... "the city, including it's downtown core, is alive and well and bursting with energy. If downtown is in trouble, word hasn't gotten to Macy's or Nordstroms, who are investing tens of millions of dollars." He's also talking about the Klimpton hotels, the Mallory, the demand for office space downtown (occupancy rate is 90% and growing, he says), Tom Moyer's going to build a new building, the Port of Portland is becoming a leading import facility for cars, and "people are streaming downtown to live. Why? Simple. More and more people want to live where the action, arts, and culture are." All good news, I agree.

The city's free wi-fi, Metro-fi, is awesome, the mayor says! (In more words, but that's the gist—3,000 users so far! WOW!) Too bad I can't even find a Metro-fi signal, and I'm in the middle of downtown. Hooray for the Governor Hotel's own free wi-fi.

Now there is cake. On the table in front of us. I don't think we're going to get any.

"I also know there are serious concerns about a number of issues," the mayor says. Crime is down, and citizens are more satisfied with their police, despite the Chasse case. He wants $6 million to expand mental health care, train the police, and open an around the clock crisis center. He's adding an auditor to look at how the police interact with the community. Every precinct will remain open until midnight, starting February 15, and they're "working to keep some of the precincts open around the clock." Also beginning in February: The CIT training for every office. "None of us want another tragedy like that of James Chasse." He and Sizer both want officers to get out of their vehicles more often, and make Portland a "model of community policing."

Charter Review! Potter acknowledges that he and the commissioners are "wrestling." He says he isn't sure if it's greco, sumo, or mud wrestling. The strong-mayor piece of the proposal "is probably the most controversial," he says, before calling for a spring vote—another line that got applause. Adams, the swing vote—still sitting next to us, but not clapping—says he hasn't decided yet.

VisionPDX time. People value the "small big city feel," "it's beauty and greenery," "a desire for the next generation to inherit these gifts." Tell me something I didn't know. I bet folks dig "livability and sustainability," too. Wait! There were specifics, he says! Oh, but we're not going to talk about those. We're going to talk about our larger goals—communities, schools, arts, "strengthening the fragile relationship between the built and natural environment," accessibility for people with disabilities, and "working together to find answers to Dr. King's question," what are you doing for others. "Then think of the city we can become," he says. Portlanders believe Portland belongs to Portlanders, and he does too. Say that five times fast. Then he talked about eliminating racism, sexism, homophobia, etc, if we all believe and work at it.

"Thank you for believing in Portland, and thank you for allowing me to talk with you," Potter concluded.

Q&A time: The Dean of PSU's School of Urban and Public Affairs asks how the last two years would have been different had charter review—a strong mayor system—been in place when Potter took office.

He says he thinks the city's relationship with PDC is "perfect," but "it's going to get better." Perfecter? Blah blah blah PDC...blah blah periodic review of the charter. But he still hasn't answered the real question... how would he have run the city differently if he'd had more power and a chief administrative officer? He says it'll all improve efficiency. He's looking forward to "public discussion" of something that "has been an inside game." And he tossed in another call for a vote. End scene.

Me gusta también: This collection is maybe my second favorite of the current menswear shows. One thing I am very happy about is that everyone is doing black. Black is flawless and always the best idea. Even when it’s not black it’s grey, which I also love. Also present is a fair amount of winter white and far too, too much silver. Anyhow, here are some shots I found notable from Alessandro Dell’Acqua for those who don’t have the time or inclination to root around the catalogues of runway shots themselves:

Couple things here: First off I love the shoes, seen throughout the collection. I actually have a pair that look remarkably similar. (They are the most expensive shoes I have ever purchased. I think. Anyhow, I live in fear of losing the studs. Very European, these.) Second, I havge seen oversized sweaters in a couple of these collections, but the proportion here is nice, and not as exaggerated as in some other cases. Oversized sweaters/wearing your boyfriend’s sweater has been seen on girls since the dawn of sweaters, and I really like it on guys. I have always thought it was an infantile look, and I think that “infantile” is a loaded enough look that it should transcend gender.

The suits start after the break…

I love the sharpness that the edging on these jackets create. No messing around here. And despite the iffiness of the way some of these pants are fitting in the crotch (a little crease radiation), the leg width and length are pretty perfect.

Some suggestions for dance parties tonight:

• Suicide Club at Dunes

• Shut Up & Dance at Fez

• Claude Von Stroke at Holocene

• Juicy Queer Dance Party at Rotture

• your living room

Some inspiration:

One of our favorite art shows of last year was Portland artist Harrell Fletcher’s The American War, which came to Portland as part of PICA’s TBA06. Here’s part of what I wrote after seeing the show in the fall:

The American War is, at its simplest, an exhibition of copy photographs from the War Remnants Museum in Ho Chi Minh City. Fletcher brought his digital camera to the museum over several visits and took photos of the graphic and highly disturbing pictures on the walls there—images of massacred body parts, defoliated forests, and grotesquely deformed victims of Agent Orange. As a Work of Art, The American War isn’t wildly impressive. But I don’t think Fletcher’s goal was to create a body of Fine Art photographs. In fact, his stated mission was “to bring the experience of the museum to the US population,” which he certainly achieved. The American War is a profound sight that reminds us not only of the graphic horrors of war, but that there are (at least) two sides to every story.

Harrell wrote us this morning to let us know that he has begun to write occasionally for The Huffington Post. His first entry, which went up today, is about the American War project and how the war in Iraq is and isn’t like the Vietnam War. Read the post at the link above, or see the American War here. (Advisory: It’s fairly graphic at times.)

After seeing the remake of The Hitcher last night, I can honestly say there isn’t a movie out there than can scare me nearly half as bad as going to a sneak preview. I sat next to this 50-something dude who was by himself. He was a heavy breather. Like a prank-caller heavy breather. Anytime that something gruesome would happen, he’d stand up and scream, “YEAAAAH!” I kept wanting to tell him to keep his bloodlust in check, but I was worried he’d knife me while I wasn’t looking. When he wasn’t cheering for more gore, he spent the rest of the movie staring at me to gauge my reaction (either to him or the movie… I couldn’t say). Meanwhile in the theater two people were yelling at each other about something or other. The cops made an appearance and some of the screaming subsided. Then there was some wiseass behind me who was making strange hillbilly/redneck jokes throughout the film. I had to go have a couple shots of whiskey after I got out of there, just to calm my nerves.

Because the film wasn’t screened for critics, here’s our web review of The Hitcher, which is opening today. Here’s the review.

Thanks to “Candy Coated,” who says the officer was “having a great time getting his lap dance.” We’re looking into it—was the officer really inside, or did this young lady simply see the car outside and spot a great opportunity for a pic?! Who knows…we certainly wouldn’t want to accuse anybody of something they didn’t do. Send more suggestive, potentially libellous pics to: todayinpdx@portlandmercury.com

News this morning that Tom Moyer wants to build a 410-foot mixed use tower on the Park block at SW Yamhill is indeed, “news” to those working at the historic Virginia Cafe—which will be bulldozed if the development goes ahead.

Leah Douvris, the general manager at the Virginia for 11 years, said this morning, “This is the first I’ve heard of it.”

The cafe, owned by Peter Goforth and Bob Rice, who also own O’Briens on NW 21st and Glisan, has been a Portland landmark since 1922. I, for one, have been going in there since I got to Portland and will be very sad to see it go. It’s too bad.

Next weekend, Slabtown reopens under new management and they’re celebrating with all sorts of bands and free food.

Long-time NW Portland dive bar (and former 70’s-era disco hotspot) re-opens under the new ownership of Chris Spinelli (from the Bitter End Pub), Brinda Coleman, and Sam Soule (both from Billy Ray’s Neighborhood Dive and multiball magazine). Their vision… improve and expand on Slabtown’s lounge/restaurant capability and feature bands Friday and Saturday nights, with early shows Sundays starting around 6 pm.

The Bender will be (the new) Slabtown’s launch party, a free weekend (Feb 2-4) of some the best regional rock ‘n’ roll punk bands around. Showtimes will be 8 pm Friday and Sunday. Saturday things get started at 4 pm with a special showing of Wild Zero (the bar has a nice projection screen) and free food buffet, bands to follow at 7 pm. Likely they’ll be some kind of free food spread Sunday for those who want to come and watch that Super Bowl thing.

Check out the lineup after the jump…

FRIDAY
The Buttfrenchers
The Night Slaves
Reptilian Civilian
Rock and Roll Adventure Kids
The Slip-its
The Silverkings

SATURDAY
Cafeteria Dance Fever
Bug Nasties
The Eegos
Ape City R&B
The Fe Fi Fo Fums
The Bugs
The Nice Boys

SUNDAY
The Wires
The Headliners
Hey Lover
The Troglodytes
Super Destroyers
The Moneychangers
Howie & The Hot Knives

Slabtown
1033 NW 16th Ave

A new installment of 3-Minute Limit has posted. This week we’re sucked into the punk vortex of 1981 Minneapolis with the Replacements. For even more howling Midwest angst, check out these early video clips from the Twintone mothership of the ‘Mats tearing some shit up.

Seen outside Beulahland.

Runaway trumpet? How exactly did this trumpet get lost? One wonders.

Evan

Get lost: todayinpdx@portlandmercury.com

Or, “Your gas tank may already be this fucked.”

That the world is running out of fossil fuels should be a given—the only people who can deny it either a.) work for the oil, auto or related industries, or b.) have their heads so far up their asses that supplies of crude oil look plentiful.

For the rest of us, the question is: What do we do about it?

Last May, Portland City Council established the Peak Oil Task Force to study the city’s options in mitigating—or sidestepping, if possible—the seemingly inevitable crisis that awaits us as oil becomes more scarce. (Think the war in Iraq is bad? Just wait until the U.S. starts competing with China for the dwindling supplies.)

Their report—made public yesterday—is a mixture of optimism and gut-wrenching dread. Their recommendations, though, read like a utopic version of the Portland we already know and love; many of the recommendations are things the city has been doing for years, but in inadequate quantities.

Peep some of the recommendations after the jump.

The task force's biggest recommendation is a 50 percent total reduction in oil consumption in the city over the next 25 years. But since the population in the metro area is set to explode in that time, per capita reduction would have to be something like two-thirds. (It's not impossible--as the report points out, "In other wealthy countries such as Denmark and the United Kingdom, per capita energy consumption is already half the level in the United States.")

To start, the task force is asking city council to pass a resolution calling for the overall reduction goal, and to develop specific targets for residential and business sectors.

In order to reach that goal, the city is going to have to step up land-use planning to "support land use patterns that put retail, services, and jobs within walking distance of every resident of Portland." In other words, creating more self-contained "neighborhood centers," where grocery stores, services, and jobs are right around the corner. To get there will require flexible mixed-use zoning, programs that ensure a mix of incomes, and protection of the Urban Growth Boundary to combat urban sprawl.

Distilled down, the recommendations are simple--encourage "alternative" transportation, green building, a local food supply, emergency preparedness, and centralized planning. The task force also recommends an education and incentive program, plus support from business leaders.

In other words, get your plump booty out of your SUV and onto a bike.

In a historic TV moment, Mr. Hilarioso STEPHEN COLBERT and Mr. Grumpy Dump BILL O’REILLY appeared on each other’s show last night. As you know, Colbert’s whole steez is doing a dead-on parody of Fox News shows, and O’Reilly in particular. So the question was, “How would O’Reilly take it?” In my opinion, pretty well—O’Reilly seemed more bemused (and a bit confused) by the whole thing… but see for yourself! Here’s Stephen Colbert interviewing Bill O’Reilly.

I just wrapped up a piece on the new tram. Okay, to be fair, it’s a bit of a love letter—I’ve got a big crush on the thing, and I think it’s a harbinger of great things for Portland.

I was lucky enough to ride it a few weeks ago, and thank goodness. I’ll be out of town this weekend, when it officially opens to the public. Word is the free rides booked up in just two hours. Anyone score one of those golden tickets?

(P.S.—where can I find any gorgeous photos of those tram bubbles? Portlandtram.org is kinda dull.)

Since going vegan on Monday, everybody’s been popping by the office to give me things. I mean, literally, it’s been the trigger for a spectacular outpouring of generosity! Today, for example, Cuisine Bonne Femme from Portland food and drink dropped off enough vegan Basque stew to feed a small army—or, at least, half the Mercury staff. What she didn’t mention at the time was, it contained laxatives. Just kidding. Look, and be sure to notice the Mercury oven gloves. That’s what we call cross branding:CBF said she wanted to show that “going vegan doesn’t mean you have to stop eating gourmet food,” and flavored this one with a smoked Spanish paprika called Pimentón de la Vera. Niiice.

Also, local film-maker Vanessa Renwick dropped by, to lend a copy of a book called Welfare Ranching: The Subsidized Destruction of the American West, and there’s a great chapter about “The grasp of the cowboy on contemporary consciousness.” Renwick’s currently working on a film about the re-introduction of wolves into Oregon, and how they might, in many ways, be good for the land here because they regulate the behavior of the cows. Many ranchers are mad as shit about the wolves, of course, so the federal government has been paying them for each head of cattle killed. But the whole situation sounds pretty explosive. I just thought, “it must be cool to be making a movie about wolves…”

Thanks, guys!!! Thanks, lastly, to local student, Jen Howell, who has been commenting vociferously on these blogs about the best place to buy fake sausages and why Fakin’ Bacon is better than Smart Bacon, that kind of thing. For example:

I’ve developed this amazing lame mutant power of being able to immediately zero in on any non-vegan ingredients in a label. It’s a learning curve; it gets easier and easier. I’m at the point now where I can read a label in 2 seconds flat.

Jen, I’m serious, can you take me shopping? She also lent me a copy of Meat Market by Erik Markus, and dropped off the DVD, Earthlings, about the treatment of farmed animals, narrated by Joaquin Phoenix:It’s a profoundly disturbing movie. The worst part is seeing animals skinned alive in a Chinese fur factory, but the parts on the American pork industry are also hard to take. The film makes clear that if you want to eat bratwurst, you’ve got to accept that the pigs used to make it had shitty, shitty lives. Think “eating each others’ tails and ears,” and you’re on the right lines.

I don’t share Earthlings’ view that it’s wrong to kill animals, but I do agree, it’s wrong to treat them the way we do, agriculturally, before they die. I’m in the middle of my vegan week. More tomorrow…

A quick note: All five members of city council voted to accept the report by the Charter Review Commission, although Randy Leonard made it clear that that didn’t necessailry mean he was going to vote to refer the recommendations to voters.

As the mayor said, “there sure was a lot of discussion.” Unfortunately, the way the process is working, the discussion hasn’t been primarily about the city’s form of government, or its relationship to PDC, but mostly about whether city council has a responsibility to send the recommendations to the voters.

Erk Sten and Randy Leonard remained adamant in their opposition to the recommendations, and denied the mayor’s and Saltzman’s arguments that a campaign is the best way to get a public discussion going, saying that campaigns are a terrible place for honest information—for expensive, misleading sound bytes, though, they’re terrific.

Plus, as Amanda Fritz put it, “My only input as a citizen will be to vote yes or no.”

The recommendations will undergo further discussion on February 7—my hunch is that a vote will be scheduled for the following week.

More later, as the hearing was full of great bits.

Oh YEAH! It’s time once again for New Jack Swing Thursdays; Blog Town’s weekly tribute to one of the most entertaining genres of late ’80s soul! Today we feature the always exciting BELL BIV DeVOE and their monster hit “POISON.” Please note the trademark high-top fades, synchronized dancing, and girls in tight dresses who have no other purpose than to walk on screen, rub their butts, and leave.
Yay, New Jack Swing Thursdays!

Remember Jermaine Nyron Davis? His accidental death on New Year’s day ignited a blog jihad, but forget about that, because there are more important things to think about. Such as: His stepmother, Florida Moaning just called up, with details of how you can donate money to his kids, Arron and Myria, who now have to grow up without a father: The trust fund, set up at the US Bank, under the name “Jermaine Davis Fund,” is being taken care of by Will Cabine. You can call him at 503 275 5034, and donate some of your cash. Far be it for me to tell you what to do, but you should.

Compton rapper the Game is just OK. His rapping skills are terribly average, but his last record, Doctor’s Advocate is totally listenable, mostly for its solid production and the Game’s hilariously insecure, self-contradictory lyrics. (This will be expounded upon in next week’s issue of the Merc, as the Game is coming to the Roseland on Jan 28). But did you know that in addition to being a former male stripper, “JT” was once a contestant on the horrible TV show, Change of Heart? When watching this, please bear in mind that this is now the dude with facial tattoos who calls himself the heir apparent to Eazy-E and Dr. Dre’s Cali throne. Our boy doesn’t come off too well here, as his girlfriend claims: “All he do is smother me. Or he cries like a baby.” (Game doesn’t deny.) Then it also comes out that he “can’t get no loving in public” and that he has a drawer full of candy in his bedroom. Or at least, he did, until his girlfriend “stole” it all.

Scott sends me a text message from city hall:

I’m surrounded by people w stickers that say “I’m with BUFF.” Businesses United for Fairness.

They’re there to talk about the Business License Fee. I want one of those stickers.

We have a new podcast series here at the Mercury called Pure Pod For Now People, hosted by local gadfly Matt Slessler. Each week, Mr. Slessler, his sidekick—a mysterious sexy-sounding lady named Magenta, and a revolving panel of guests, debate various topics. While the show focuses mostly on music gossip and trivia (for the music dork in us all), also thrown into the mix is a potpourri of subjects like water fowl, television, cats, and basically anything else that runs through Mr. Slessler’s huge, hyperactive brain. This week’s guests are local rockers Patrick Kearns & Kelly Simmons from Blue Skies For Black Hearts (pictured below). Check out the podcast by clicking here!

Scott’s down at city hall checking out the debate about the Charter Review proposals. I’m catching what I can on the streaming video.

There’ll be a full report later, but this caught my ear: Commissioner Randy Leonard called the proposal’s timeline—to refer it to the voters by May—untenable. Sounds like he wants the commission and the public to take a stab at refining the recommendations before they go to a vote.

Dan Saltzman, however, says he can “think of no better way to engage the public that through a campaign.” He noted the lack of TVs in council chambers, and posited that the media won’t bother to rouse the public unless there’s a campaign attached—but Scott’s already let me know that all the print media showed. I think the media’s interested, Dan, even if KATU and KGW are still out watching the snow melt.

Now it’s time for public testimony: Eleven people have signed up, including both of the Mandels. Lili Mandel insists that this proposal will turn the next mayor into Napoleon. “Don’t buy it!” she says, decrying “back door access to the imperial mayor.”

Can you guess what that is?

Let it thaw, let it thaw, let it thaw: todayinpdx@portlandmercury.com

"It's a jackalope! Seen on SE 15th & Stark."

"My neighbor Karen disappearing in the freezing fog this morning," says Steve in Raleigh Hills.

For those who love a lil’ extra BEEF in their BEEFCAKE, be sure to tune in to tonight’s much-ballyhooed episode of the CW’s SMALLVILLE (8 pm), which I go on about at length in this week’s I Love Television™. In a nutshell, Lex Luthor is fucking up some shit, which precipitates the formation of THE JUSTICE LEAGUE (or rather a fairly lame version thereof). But as long as they all take off their shirts? No problem here, officer! (You can check out the first 12 minutes of this episode HERE.)

ALSO! Don’t forget to roll those TiVo’s for tonight’s second greatest pairing ever, when faux conservative STEPHEN COLBERT and real conservative BILL O’REILLY appear on each other’s shows! You can hold your nose and catch THE O’REILLY FACTOR at 5 pm on Fox News, and then THE COLBERT REPORT on Comedy Central at 11:30 pm. THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD!

ALSO! The increasingly awesome O.C. should be muy hilarioso tonight when stupid fucking hippie CHE takes SETH into the forest on a “spirit quest.” (9 pm, Fox) And did you hear what that bitch MISCHA BARTON (formerly the drippy Marissa Cooper) said today? According to Starpulse News the reason why The O.C. is getting cancelled in six episodes is because the network killed her off, and that SHE was the main reason people tuned into the show! BAAAAAAA-LONEY! As I’ve ranted about on several occasions, if Marissa “Buzz Shackler” Cooper had been killed off in episode two, they may have been able to save this sinking ship. As it stands, we still have six more episodes of the beguiling TAYLOR TOWNSEND, so enjoy ‘em while you got ‘em.

ALSO! I think “That’s so Raven” is a great catchphrase to use in our daily lives. For example, when your friend knocks over a flower vase with her booty? “That’s so Raven.” Or when he or she accidentally drops a bag of dope into the vegan stew? “That’s so Raven.” However, certain things are not “so Raven.” Such as President Bush sending 21,500 additional troops to Iraq? “That’s not so Raven.” Or a drunk Vancouver, WA father killing his daughter while dragging her behind his truck in the snow? “Definitely not so Raven.”
Use the phrase wisely.

So very Raven.

I am not posting this under “Fashion” out of solidarity with my fellow fashion commentators at publications from Vanity Fair to WWD to W, who have all begun to simmer with distress over the degree to which celebs are regarded as fashion plates. Lord knows they have launched a successful takeover of magazine covers, but the fact is that not only are they often badly dressed, they rarely dress themselves. Exhibit A: This tidbit on a disastrous shoe theft that occured on Monday, just prior to the Golden Globes (gotta love that headline): Golden Globes Shoe Disaster:

Some of Hollywood’s most glamorous residents came close to walking down the red carpet bare foot on Monday (15.01.07) when a lorry of Taryn Rose footwear was held up on the way to the awards ceremony.

A source said: “A truck full of shoes was broken into on its way to Beverly Hills. A total of 120 pairs worth $50,000 were taken. Thankfully, some of the big names, including ‘Desperate Housewives’ actress Felicity Huffman and Cate Blanchett, had already collected their shoes in advance. But others had to find last-minute replacements.”

What’s truly scandalous about this is the revelation that all these women were going to wear shoes by the same designer for the event. Some kind of sponsorship arrangement no doubt. I’m quite sure I have never heard anything quite so tacky as this since noon.

Tonight’s your last night to check out David Lynch’s Inland Empire at Cinema 21. The Hollywood Theatre will pick it up next week (Fri Jan 19-Thurs Jan 25). Has anyone seen it yet? I’d love to hear people’s thoughts about it. I was loathe to chat with the film critics I saw it with at the press screening, mostly because several of them were shouting at the screen before the film even started. When the name of the production company came on the screen, a mere one minute into the screening, someone yelled out, “I don’t get it.” Yeah, you’re a laugh riot. About a half hour before it ended, someone else yelled out, “Is it over yet?” Nothing like objectivity.

Here’s a French version of the trailer that has more footage of William H. Macy and Jeremy Irons.

After months of work to fulfill one of his most prominent campaign promises, Commissioner Sam Adams’ office has secured property in the Montavilla neighborhood to build a low-income live/work space for artists.

Adams’ office is working with Beam Development, the Portland Affordable Housing Preservation Trust, the Regional Arts and Culture Council, and Works Partnership Architecture to develop a vacant five-building complex at NE 82nd and Oregon—the former Baptist Manor retirement home.

Currently, the complex has around 150 units, but Adams’ plan is to “rehab” the property to create performance spaces, a dining facility, and shared equipment space. Half of the property is currently zoned for a live/work space, but the other half will have to undergo a zoning change, which Adams’ expects to have finalized by April.

More information on the project, including artist renderings, should be available in February. Meanwhile, Adams’ office is working with the Montavilla neighborhood association to get their input on the project.

During the 2004 campaign, the Mercury forced city council candidates to present five promises for improving arts in the city. These were Adams’:

- $15 million in five years for arts funding

- Deriving arts funding from conveyance of street easements and workplace matching contributions, and develop specific endowment funds (i.e., for independent film and video producers)

- Public and private partnerships to build 100 new affordable live/work rental spaces

- Develop arts as a tourism magnet

The next giant step in Mayor Potter’s plan to change Portland’s form of government takes place this afternoon, with the first full city council session to hear the Charter Review Commission’s recommendations.

Think that sounds dull? The commission is proposing that the city change to, essentially, a “strong mayor” form of government—completely upending the way city government functions. They’re also recommending that very little change in the city’s relationship with the Portland Development Commission. Today’s hearing will be the first chance the public has to officially comment on the recommendations. It’ll also give certain members of council a public forum to push back on the commission.

At the last work session held between the Charter Review Commission and city council, where the commission presented its preliminary recommendations—not drastically different from their final recommendations—tensions flared when Sam Adams, Erik Sten, and Randy Leonard questioned their findings. Since then, tensions have only escalated (“escalated” in Portland terms, which means that everyone’s still polite), with Leonard and Sten still questioning the commission’s process, and the commission members expressing frustration over council’s reluctance to send their recommendations to voters. Expect dissenting council members to be flabbergasted that their opinions weren’t considered, and expect the mayor to jump in to defend the commission.

Local groups, including the Portland Business Alliance and the League of Women Voters, are already lining up on either side of the recommendations.

The PBA firmly supports the commissions recommendations.

"We support the direction the charter review is going in, and we're hoping city council will send it to voters," says PBA head Sandra McDonough. "We're supportive of the creation of a Chief Administrative Officer [who would work under the mayor and head up all of the bureaus]."

"Our form of government was created when Portland was much smaller," she added. "This will lead to faster and better communication and coordination among all the departments of the city. They'll act as more of a team."

So far, though, the PBA hasn't been asked to be a part of any campaign in support of the changes.

The League of Women Voters has a firm position against changing the form of government--"The League of Women Voters of Portland, Oregon finds that the present commission form of city government is accountable, flexible and responsive to citizens. Therefore, we support the commission form of city government as it exists in Portland. We do not support a council-manager or a weak mayor-council form of government."

Still, the League is all for sending the recommendations to voters and letting them decide--but not until 2008.

"Putting it on the ballot in 2007 means that it will be decided by a small handful of people who are really tuned in," says the League's Carol Cushman. "No matter which way it goes, that's not a good way to decide public policy."

Instead, Cushman and her colleagues plan to ask the city council and the Charter Review Commission to spend the next year talking to citizens, and to revise the recommendations based on public input.

Mayoral staffer--and liaison to the charter review commission--Judy Tuttle, though, says it makes more sense to put the changes on the ballot this May. Since candidates will be running for office next year, "It's only fair that they know what form of government they're running for."

Cushman, though, disagrees: "What better way to get the information out to the public than to have candidates talking about it--pro or con."

The City Club of Portland doesn't yet have a position on the changes, but a majority of their ballot measure review committee in 2002 supported Bob Ball's failed "strong mayor" idea.

The hearing happens at 2pm this afternoon at city hall's council chamber. You can also peep it live here.

Rich people: Love em or hate em, you’ve got to admit—they own cool stuff. And short of them kicking the bucket and having wicked estate sales (every estate sale I’ve ever been to, incidentally, was decidedly non-wicked and chock full of Ziggy calendars and obsolete video cameras), there aren’t many options to swoop in and gank their gear for pennies on the dollar. But just such an opportunity is arising this weekend, and it has the promise of major booty-scoring.

Neighboring art galleries Augen and Froelick (817 SW 2nd, Second Floor) are having a collaborative attic sale this weekend, promising “sexy, vintage, rare, estate quality, best values.” What kind of schwag is it? “Office equipment, frames, furniture, decorative treasures(!), shipping crates, and other ephemera.” The sale runs Friday and Saturday from 10 am-5 pm, and if you need to phone ahead just to see how sweet the booty will be, call 224-8182 or 222-1142.

When it comes to films whose plots revolve around “reigniting the sun,” color me skeptical. HOWEVER! When that same film is coming from hotshit director DANNY BOYLE (Trainspotting and 28 Days Later), you can bet your sweet ass I’m going to sit up and take notice. And I’m glad I did, because this looks wicked awesome. Check out the trailer for Danny Boyle’s SUNSHINE.

After running an embarrassing front-page “sympathy” piece [Nov 28, “Fur Store Says It’s Had Enough”] on the Schumachers’ November “decision” to vacate their store in downtown Portland for a more “business friendly” location in the suburbs, the Oregonian has finally followed our lead and stuck it to Gregg Schumacher for dicking the local media around. This morning, every single opportunity for the Schumachers to have calmed the situation down, and every single time they chose, instead, to escalate it, is listed for the record in Joe Rose’s piece, Fur Fight (coincidentally, that’s the same headline as Jason Cohen’s July 2006 piece in the Portland Monthly, and I think we already used it in, oh, 1976 perhaps, but what can you expect from lazy sub-editors, originality?!). Still. How are some of these quotes for “objective journalism?”

“fatigued city officials say the Schumachers became their own worst enemies.”

The Schumachers not only rejected every overture, they say, the couple fanned the flames with tantrums, manipulation and, in one case, a blown-up picture of a man’s buttocks.

“They didn’t burn bridges — they blew them up,” City Commissioner Randy Leonard says.

Schumacher is described as “gruff and rail-thin,” (excuse me, but this brings something else to mind, although for some reason, I can’t quite put my finger on what…) while his wife, Linda, is called, “his former dog-sitter,” which may be true, but there are nicer ways to describe a lady.

If you go to any show this weekend—and there are an insane amount—let this be the one. Ghost to Falco at Rotture. Here’s what Mercury freelancer Andrew R Tonry had to say in today’s paper. Leti Angel, Wet Confetti, and Kickball also play.

If this show’s got nothing for you, just get back in your car, roll up the windows, crank up Jammin’ 95.5, pop the collar on your club shirt and get the fuck back to Beaverton. Tonight’s lineup is like New Seasons’ samples on a Sunday—you can have a goddamn meal if you’re ready for it, filling up on little tastes of everything. You get the bat-shit experimental, breathy-to-heavy jams of Ghost to Falco (new kind of vegan faux meat something or other), indiepop supergroup Leti Angel (sausage on a toothpick), the angular, atonal, post-punk, we-just-recorded-an-album-with-Dave-Allen-from -Gang-of-Four-and-now-we’re-everywhere dance beats of Wet Confetti (bleu cheese with a bite), and the intimate, loud, raving geeky loveliness of Kickball (sharp, bubbly champagne)—some of the best Portland (and Olympia) has to offer. What else could you ask for? Some coffee? Fuck off.

Check out Ghost to Falco’s trippy experimental pop songs here. A friend of mine once nudged me at one of their shows and said, “Man, it’s like Neil Young if Neil Young weren’t such a self-absorbed, brain-damaged hippie and had a smarter band.” Maybe so.

It’s official: Pop starlet Lindsay Lohan goes to rehab! Us Magazine has the exclusive details which include she “carried a dark Balenciaga bag and a Jamba Juice.” Because as we all know, you can’t treat alcoholism walking around looking like a bag lady.

Last night’s AMERICAN IDOL featured the SEATTLE auditions—WHICH WERE AWFUL—and THIS GUY has dug up a lot of the contestants’ MySpace pages. See anyone you recognize?

Pop singer PINK’S DOG has drowned in the family swimming pool. The report states that “the dog would often swim in the pool and had never got into any difficulty before.” However, according to the dog’s suicide note, “You’d do it too, if you lived with Pink.”

Local homeboy auteur GUS VAN SANT appeared in court yesterday to face DUI charges from December 21. And though police claim he blew a 0.19 percent (twice the legal limit), Van Sant has pled NOT GUILTY. His alcohol diversion hearing with be held on February 9, while my alcohol immersion hearing will be held in… oh… about five minutes.

A complete list of the best TV shows of all time, in no particular order:

• Magnum, P.I.
• Miami Vice

A complete list of movies that have been made out of the best TV shows of all time:

• Miami Vice

But that might change: Rumors of a Magnum, P.I. movie have been swirling for years. (Last I heard, George Clooney was rumored to be attached.) The latest actor who’s supposed to be taking on the legendary ‘stache of Tom Selleck? According to Dark Horizons:

Matthew McConaughey will play Magnum, Steve Zahn will be his friend Rick, Tyrese Gibson the chopper flying T.C., and William H. Macy as British landlord Higgins.

Oh, fuck that.

I'm not going to start shouting "Blasphemy!" at the top of my lungs, but I might get close. Matthew McConaughey's NO ONE compared to Tom Selleck. NO ONE, you hear me? And if Miami Vice taught us one thing, it's that Colin Farrell is no Don Johnson, and Matthew McConaughey's no Tom Selleck. Everyone knows these facts to be true. It's like gravity or something.

I swear to Christ, if I have to watch that slurring, starry-eyed, bongo-playing good ol' boy screw up what was one of the greatest TV shows of all time, I'm... I'm... well, I'll still go. Of course I'll still go. But I'm not going to be happy about it. Someone just explain to me what's wrong with Tom Selleck! He's not that old! He's still awesome! He still has that mustache! We can forget that he was on Friends! I'm guessing that Tom Selleck would agree with me on this. In fact, I know he would.

I mean... FUCK. Just try and watch this picturing McConaughey in Selleck's spot. IT WILL ENRAGE YOU.

“3am jan. 17th SE PDX,” writes Carrie, keeping it simple.

Send ‘em: todayinpdx@portlandmercury.com

Today Frank Bruni at the New York Times, otherwise known as one of the most powerful restaurant critics on the planet, asks the question: “Do race and ethnicity play roles in the hiring and promotion of restaurant workers? Should they?” Here’s an example of one of the comments:

My wife and myself dine out quite often and consider it not only a culinary experience but also a cultural one. When we eat in a Chinese restaurant we expect the wait staff to be Asian. Like wise in a Sole food restaurant we expect the staff to be African American preferably from the South. The same holds true for a French restaurant. It is not racist to respect the cultures of different people and want to experience that culture when dining out. Each time we visit an ethnic restaurant it is like a mini visit to that Country or region. The USA is truly a melting pot of all ethnicities and cultures but we should have respect for our differences and not try to eliminate them. For this reason we will continue to seek ethnic restaurants that have wait staffs that are truly representative of the country or region the restaurant represents.

What do you think? In England, it’s legal for a Chinese restaurant only to hire Chinese staff. A few weeks back, we ran this story about a new Pearl District sushi restaurant promoting itself as upscale on the basis of hiring only “non-Japanese waitstaff.” Does race have an impact on your dining experience? Should it?

It’s day three of my vegan experience, and after spending $80 at Wild Oats, I’ve been in the kitchen. Spot the difference:Before we continue, maybe you’d like to listen to a podcast about veganism. The details are there if you follow the lamb link, but we recorded it on Monday, and it’s called “The Lamb Strikes Back,” featuring a bunch of people better qualified to discuss veganism than I am. Including Matt Rossell from In Defense of Animals, Tony Deis of TrackersNW, and a couple of folks from the Tryon Life Community Farm.

Now: Following the advice of those who’ve posted on the last few vegan entries, I stocked up on beer, vegetables, nuts, soy, a few “alternative meat” products to test the difference, and Bridgeport Beer (that’s right, Portland businesses—the offer to “write about your vegan product, shamelessly, for cash,” still stands: mdavis@portlandmercury.com).

So. What have I learned so far? First, that it’s a lot easier to burn Smart Bacon while blogging than it is to burn the regular kind. And second, that just because it’s vegan, don’t expect it to come in sustainable packaging: Last night I did an Italian red-wine stew, based on Marcella Hazan’s fail-safe principles of Italian cooking—first, fry an onion, second, add the wine and something that needs browning (usually meat), third, add liquid, fourth, reduce. The thing about Hazan is, her recipes are always very flavorful thanks to the slow, staged cooking and the long reduction, and I was determined my first home-cooked vegan meal would not be bland slop. It worked! The addition of grated organic horseradish and toasted pumpkin seeds at the end, using carrots and pinto beans instead of meat for the stew made it a rich and interesting meal—I didn’t miss the meat at all.

The discussion of veganism here on Blog Town has been inter-stellar—one guy suggesting that the vegan lifestyle isn’t sustainable because it’d take up so much land to grow all the soy, then getting shot down for it by some actual research</