As you’re out on your Saturday night ramblings tonight, consider stopping in to the good old Hungry Tiger (28th and Burnside), which has more likely than not put a roof over your drunken ass once or two million times. Today is the last night it will be open. (Don’t be surprised that they’re not fully stocked.) But feel free to check out the Hungry Tiger Too… 2… II? Anyhow, it’s on SE 12th, right next door to the 3 Friends coffee shop. It’s not a lot like the old Hungry T, but it has its own charms. Oh, Hungry Tiger, you will be missed.

I just got a rad new harmonica—it came from Finnegan’s!—and you can bet your sweet ass I’m going to be playing it all the time from here on out. And not only on the backs of trains or pickup trucks, either—I’m going to be playing it all the time, everywhere. So next time you hear the sweet strains of a harmonica, you can look around, and you’ll see me. I’ll be like Johnny Appleseed, except instead of walking around the country planting apple trees, I’ll be driving around Portland and playing phat harmonica jamz. Well, and my name’s not Johnny. Anyway, I’ll be playing a little something like this. Those fawning, gibberish-shouting Dutch fans will probably be following me around too, just FYI, waving their hands in the air like they just don’t care. Because they won’t. They’ll be caught up in the SWEETNESS of my JAMZ.

So I knew Jack Bogdanski was a crank, but I didn’t realize he was so borderline obsessive and paranoid.

He blocked computers at the Mercury from viewing and posting to his sight. But whatever, I can still see what he’s whining about through my blog feeder. And I had full access at home. This morning—working in my pajamas before heading off to work—he posted something about the forthcoming condo development at SE 28th and Burnside, at the site of the Hungry Tiger. I tossed up an informational comment—something the Hungry Tiger’s owner posted here on Blogtown way back in September—that indicated the world wasn’t going to come to an end with this new development. Purely informational, no snark or commentary.

Witness:

Tonight, back at home, I checked back in to see what Jack’s cronies had to say about how Portland’s going to hell, one condo at a time.

Surprise! I’m blocked from home now! But wait—when I went around the block (that’s right Jack, it’s pretty pointless), I saw that he’d left my comment up. Indeed, I just snapped that picture of it a minute ago. So my comment apparently wasn’t offensive and didn’t bother him, but… I’m being punished (if that’s what you can call it) for adding actual information to the conversation he’s started. My bad!

Man, am I going to have fun with this now. I might just make it my daily mission to find a new IP address—there’s plenty of free wi-fi in this town—and post a purely information comment under my real name every single day. Soon, I’ll have most of the city blocked from being able to see bojack.org! (I bet I can get some sort of citizen’s service award from the city for that.) And Jack might have to extend his sabbatical, just so he has enough time to keep on blockin’.

(Wanna help? Whenever you’re on a free public wi-fi network, post something purely informational—non offensive, non inflammatory, just the facts… maybe the current weather? The phrase “I agree with everything you just wrote, Jack” would also work. And do it under my name. Then let me know about it! We’ll have this city on a bojack blackout in no time.)

I tried, but I failed:

I found this article on LiveScience.com curious. I’m pretty sure Voodoo Doughnut already makes & sells these:

Still sleepy after your first three double espressos? Try eating your way to wired. Caffeinated doughnuts could be the next new thing in nutriceutical fast-food to hit your drive-through or walk-up breakfast stop.

Each pastry, or bagel if you were to prefer this caffeine-delivery system, would contain a jolt worth one to two cups of coffee, thanks to years of experiments and brainstorms performed by molecular biologist Robert Bohannon.

Voodoo dudes, what gives? You’re not going to let a molecular scientist steal your thunder are you? I smell a doughnut fight.

If you’re looking for Lindsay Lohan—who is SUPPOSED to be spending 30 days in L.A.’s Wonderland rehab facility—you might want to try anyplace other than Wonderland’s rehab facility! According to TMZ.com, LiLo has been popping in and out of the place, practically every day.

This week alone, Lohan left rehab for day-trips on Monday and Wednesday as well as yesterday. On Monday, Lindsay left Wonderland for her condo. On Wednesday, TMZ spies spotted her at Newsroom Cafe having lunch with friends. [Thursday] she took her SL500 to Beverly Hills Mercedes for service. She also stopped by the set of her new movie, “I Know Who Killed Me.” Lindsay then made one last stop — at a grocery store — before heading back to Wonderland rehab facility.

When she does go back, other rehab residents have groused that Lindsay has her peeps come to pamper her — a masseur, hairstylist, makeup artist, etc. They’re also upset that Lindsay has the magic key to the front door.

OH, C’MON PEOPLE! Give her a break. She was there ALL DAY on Tuesday! (That’s when they serve margaritas.)

“Now, just a quick trip to the gym, the dry cleaners, a friend’s birthday party, the nail salon, happy hour at the Viper Room, and then it’s straight back to rehab. Promise!”

A new episode of 3-Minute Limit has posted. This week is an homage to Gories/Dirtbombs soul punk wailer Mick Collins.
Meanwhile, check out the hip shakin’ on Nitroglycerin…

Since I assume there are still a number of vegans on this blog monitoring Matt’s performance as one of you (if you were to get free food delivered to you on a semi-regular basis, that is), our reader Bryan here has some questions on the ethics of using animals. I don’t actually think he is just trying to be a smartass, actually, and now that he mentions it: Are seeing eye dogs and abortions vegan?

this is just a question. I know it is a couple weeks late. What is the Official Vegan position on Seeing eye dogs? Are these animals not enslaved? They are trained to serve the needs of a human against their own instinctual needs to run free and sniff crotches and eat any food they come across. Would not a Vegan be offended by this? Is there a human need that is greater than an animal need? Could not a Vegan save the Seeing eye dog by sacrificing their own time to assist the blind? Should we have helper Vegans instead of helper animals? Ok, it was more than one question. I just would like some clarification on where “Using” animals stops. After that please clarify where Vegans stand on Abortion. Can you be pro-choice and anti-fur? Does the “Keep your laws off my body” stance only work for one of those positions?

Local blogger Steve of Ask-Steve.com went to Burgerville, was a bit aghast at the “7.49 for a burger and fries?!” and wonders why people go there.

Why do people do this to themselves? I can certainly understand the desire for the occasional naughty treat, but I know people who eat like this on a regular basis because they think it’s cheaper or faster than eating healthier or more gourmet food. Well, I’m happy to report that eating healthy, gourmet food is just as fast and often less expensive than fast food.

Does anyone actually harbor that illusion about Burgerville? Do people go there thinking it’s their best bet for a quick, cheap meal? I think fast food fans are pretty well aware that you can buy a meal with the change in your car’s backseat at a place like McDonald’s or Burger King—and not so at Burgerville.

The point of Burgerville is not that it’s cheap fast food. It’s that you can satisfy your burger’n’fries craving, hold the side of guilt for supporting massive national corporations. Instead, pour on the local, sustainable sauce they serve with almost everything at Burgerville.

Steve recommends hitting the New Seasons or Whole Foods deli instead: “The fact is, it’s not much more expensive—if any—than eating at fast food joints and it’s just as fast. I’m a big fan of both of those places for a quick bite, too (my other favorite quickie meal: a slice from Hot Lips), but they certainly aren’t any faster than Burgerville—factor in parking if you’re driving, and have fun waiting in the checkout line during the peak after-work dinner rush. Plus, neither place has fries or milkshakes, which—as far as I’m concerned—is the best reason of all to head to Burgerville.

(I realize I’m knocking Steve in this post, but I’m actually a fan of his blog. He’s got loads of great Portland commentary, much of it about SE. Check him out.)

It’s been a mad decent month for art in Portland, and it looks like February’s going to be pretty dynamite, too. But before we flip the calendar, there are several shows closing this weekend that are definitely worth checking out before they come down. For instance:

Storm Tharp at PDX (925 NW Flanders, closes Saturday)

Sez John Motley: “Somehow the series of portraits in We Appeal to Heaven manages to exceed (the) understandably lofty expectations (that Portlanders reserve for Tharp). This new body of work is almost exclusively limited to portraits of men, each approximately four by five feet and all rendered in ink, gouache, and graphite on paper. Given that description, Tharp’s project might sound unadventurous. Instead, it is feverishly imaginative and technically stunning.”
Sez me: Best artist in Portland.

Michael Brophy at Laura Russo (805 NW 21st, closes Saturday)

Brophy’s got just enough grey hair not to be called one of Portland’s fresh young artists, but he’s definitely not part of the tired old guard who cling to their old Arlene Schnitzer-approved styles of painting like it was the last box of Metamucil at Freddie’s. Instead, Brophy’s been incredibly focused on exploring issues of regionalism and Western “development” through a carefully developed vocabulary of Northwest landscape. Plus, his painting skills improve with every show, which forecasts a future of terrifying beauty.

Chris Verene at Quality Pictures (916 NW Hoyt, closes Saturday)

I’m a huge fan of a lot of Chris Verene’s photographs, but the body of work at QPCA doesn’t really do it for me. The events that are being photographed (self-esteem-building, liberating “lock-ins” that the artist throws) sound far more interesting than the resulting images, which mostly seem incidental at best. The exception, though, is the image here, which looks like no photo I’ve ever seen before in my life (like a cross between Lightning Bolt and Malick Sidibe). This pic alone is totally worth a trip to the gallery, as is the David Hilliard show they also have up.

Plenty other shows coming down this weekend, but these are the ones you’ve gotta hit. God bless connoisseurship.

Last week I offered to “write about your vegan product, shamelessly, for cash,” and was beginning to lose faith in the gods of capitalism, frankly, until this morning the Mercury got 2 million FREE PIES, courtesy of Kris Pinella at the Little Pots & Pans Co. Pinella, who has recently imported herself to Portland from New York, says business is growing, “but I’m a New Yorker—I want it now!” Don’t we all, Kris. Don’t we all:Judging from the rate of their consumption, Pinella’s 2 million free pies weren’t exactly to be sniffed at, despite early skepticism and the mentioning of “rat poison”. They’re currently on sale at World Cup, Whole Foods, and Daily Grind for $4 each. ($4 is precisely 1 dollar out of Ezra’s pie range, he says, but I think, if mine were warmed-up, I’d be prepared to pay that, and Brad Buckner agrees, so there). Read the Mercury’s highly scientific, not at all bribery-distorted opinions, after the jump.

Next week, I’ll be offering to “write about your diamond-mining/yacht-delivery/Manhattan real estate/casino-owning business, shamelessly, for cash.” Offers to mdavis@portlandmercury.com, and it’s first-come, first-served. So get a move on.

The vegan favorite seems to have been the roasted tomato and caramelized onion—a moist, marmaladey mixture, which James Deeley felt "would benefit from a little bacon." Other vegan flavors were curried butternut squash—"it tastes like pumpkin pie" (Ezra again); artichoke and roasted garlic, and eggplant and roasted pepper. The main problem with the vegan pies, judging from a straw poll, is the lack of butter in their pastry. But then, that's what being vegan's all about, right? The crusts also stood up well to microwaving.

The veggie pies all went down well. Katie Lake would put the mushroom, leek and swiss pie "under my pillow, just so I could dream about it," and is even contemplating having Pennella cater her wedding, while the eggplant, roasted pepper and feta one seems to have benefited, review-wise, from the addition of its dairy element. There are also spinach pies and artichoke, roasted garlic and parmesan pies, if you like a bit of variety. Autumn described her veggie pie as "a filling little bastard."

Thanks, Kris!

Benson High School went on lockdown this afternoon, after a student showed another student a gun.

Matt Davis wandered over to see what was happening, and found lots of roads blocked by squad cars.

Show me: todayinpdx@portlandmercury.com

I’m listening to Willie Nelson sing “It’s Not Supposed to be that Way” right now and it’s made me remember a conversation I had recently about country bands—specifically Portland country bands (“indie” and “alt” species)—singing in fake country accents. It was a tough call. Sometimes it feels right; most times it’s silly. But affected vocals span all genres of music. Most peoples’ singing voices sound nothing like their talking voices, but why does it feel so wrong when a kid from Seattle or LA or Portland sings in an affected drawl? Please discuss. Also, what do you think about Portland country bands? Have we got some good shit going on, or is it dry as a corn husk? Who’s your favorite? Who do you think needs to move to Gresham?

And yeah, Willie Nelson thinks this whole debate is boring. Here’s a very YOUNG Willie…

For those of you who like to rock out and help out simultaneously, there’s a benefit show happening this Sunday, January 28 at Doug Fir:

Shane, bass player of local rock band My Favorite Everything, was diagnosed with Stage 4 Hodgkin’s Lymphoma at the end of August and he is currently undergoing chemotherapy treatment at Providence Cancer Center. The prognosis is good but he is uninsured and the financial burden has been great.

This rock n roll benefit is to raise money for the bills and financial strain this has placed on Shane and his wife, Maggie, who is the guitarist and vocalist in the group.

The lineup includes The Bats From the Pyramids of Egypt, My Favorite Everything (pictured above), The Mello Outs, and Macadam.

Okay, hell yes. This weekend’s actually really decent for movies. Soderbergh’s The Good German is still pretty new at Broadway Metro, Catch and Release has blanketed every theater on the planet with Jennifer Garner’s I’m-super-hot-but-even-more-annoying act (plus an I’m-way-too-good-and-likeable-to-be-in-this-movie Kevin Smith performance), while Jeremy Piven gets wasted in Smokin’ Aces. Epic Movie wasn’t screened for critics (can’t imagine why), but we do have a web-exclusive review of Blood and Chocolate (funniest trailer ever!). And if you missed them the first time, a few great Oscar contenders—Babel and The Departed—get re-releases too. Meanwhile, Lynch sees just how long he can keep up his same old shtick with Inland Empire, which is still at the Hollywood. Or you could heed Ezra’s call to action and go see the best picture of the year, Children of Men. (Movie times for all these and everything else, as always, can be found here.)

So: What’re you guys going to see this weekend?

Oh, me? Thanks for asking! Well, tonight I’m having some friends over for a kickass Kill Bill 1 & 2 marathon, then sometime this weekend I’m hoping to catch The Fountain again, since it just hit the Laurelhurst. That movie’s awesome.

I NEVER DO THIS, BUT… if you haven’t watched the video in Marjorie’s post below, stop, take five minutes and do it NOW. It is one of the most horiffically hee-larious YouTubes I’ve seen—especially when Jody comes in. And she picks up the scissors. Oh god… Jody… DON’T.

So, my column this week is about the bridal show that the English Dept is having at 23Hoyt this Sunday at noon. In it, I espouse the virtues of co-owners Elizabeth Dye and Joy Cohen’s style as friendly and approachable, noting that as a bride, “You probably won’t be lacking for things to worry about, after all.”

Such as:

While it may not be for everybody, I had a very nice time last night at the new TONY STARLIGHT’S SUPPERCLUB & LOUNGE over at 3728 NE Sandy—and yes, that’s the old Blackbird space, and boy, does it clean up nice. (I couldn’t even see the old “Mercury Sux Dicks” graffiti in the bathroom anymore.)
Admittedly, my expectations going in were pretty low: 1) The building also formerly housed that weird carb restaurant, weird strip joint, and that weird Mexican restaurant, and 2) Tony Starlight was promising a return to the loungey ’50s cabaret experience—which if done wrong can be really kitschy and annoying. However, I was pretty surprised and impressed. The bar and performance area is very tastefully done with plush chairs and a smoky lounge vibe (without the smoke—no cigarettes here, my friend). Actual memorabilia from Vegas entertainers grace the walls, but nothing was overdone. If you were suddenly plopped down in the joint, you’d never guess you were in that Bermuda Triangle of failed businesses.
The food was impressive (especially for such a new place—I had a yummy pork chop and yams dish), and Tony Starlight’s show is campy fun with actual talent to back it up. Old timers (pre-2000) may remember Tony’s (aka Brett Kucera) show back when he was playing the Gypsy, and he sings lounge with a wink without going over the top.
But if nothing else, this is a great place for a drink, or romantic date. Check out the Kansas City-style swing of Pete Peterson and Porkpie (tonight, 8 pm, $8) or Tony’s show tomorrow (Saturday, 8 pm, $8), or just show up for an after-work drink starting at 4 pm. The dress is club casual—not a rule, but Patagonia is strongly discouraged—and while there are still some bugs to work out, this place shows tons of promise as one of Portland’s hot destination spots.
Show some love to Portland’s peeps who refuse to half-ass it.

Check it out: Our very own Scott Moore will be part of City Club’s February 2 Friday Forum.

Friday Forum: RANT 3

February 2nd 2007
Governor’s Hotel, 614 SW 11th Ave., Portland, OR

Join City Club for our third installment of “RANT,” where three local media figures let loose and skewer local and national politics. This year Scott Moore, Jack Ohman and Victoria Taft take the stage in this not-to-be missed Friday Forum.

If there is one thing to expect from Scott Moore, it’s to expect the unexpected. Moore is news editor for the Portland Mercury, where he focuses on city and state politics, with a flair for the irreverent. Ohman, whose work has been called by People magazine as “uncompromising, the most wicked and the most pointedly funny on today’s op-ed pages,” has been the editorial cartoonist for The Oregonian since 1983. Taft, a radio talk show host who has worked in Portland and San Diego for the last 15 years, believes “we need to eradicate the ‘we’re smarter than you’ mind-set that, like a virulent virus, infects nearly every institution and government agency in the state.” Her talk show can be heard on KPAM AM 860.

Get these three together and who knows what they’ll come up with.

Check out the awesome trailer for Blood and Chocolate, in which humans shapeshift into werewolves in the most amusing manner possible. This isn’t shown in the trailer, but the “big bad,” the Romanian leader of the werewolf pack, has one of the sweetest secret lairs in movie history—rivaling SPECTRE’s best evil hideouts. It’s a werewolf family-owned ABSINTHE FACTORY. How cool is that? All of the minion werewolves work there in denim jumpsuits, brewing and tasting and chasing mailmen.

Blood and Chocolate opens today. Hit up our web exclusive review for your amusement.

For more amusement…

Promise her anything, but give her Synth Coke

Remember earlier this week when we introduced you to the freakiest, prehistoric shark we’ve ever seen? Well, it shouldn’t be surprising, but now FREAKY PREHISTORIC SHARK is the hottest thing in Hollywood, and since Lindsay Lohan is currently in rehab… well, the paparazzi has to follow someone around, right?

By far the most proactive of the countries involved in fashion’s skinny model controversy, Spain is not wasting any time in translating its concerns off the runway and onto the rack. It is now meddling with how clothing is sized:

”It is not reasonable for a modern and advanced society to establish stereotypes of beauty that are far removed from the social reality of a community. It is everyone’s commitment that beauty and health go hand in hand,” Health Minister Elena Salgado said at a signing ceremony Tuesday… The Health Ministry’s program aims to end a situation in which a woman who buys a size 40 dress from one designer may not fit in a size 40 garment from another designer. The ministry said the differences sometimes lead women to feel compelled to lose weight… As part of the effort to standardize sizes, the ministry plans to measure 8,500 Spanish girls and women between the ages of 12 and 70 to determine the true shapes of Spanish women’s bodies.

Meanwhile… the rest of the fashion world putters around.

Fashion bosses from Paris, Milan, New York and London have agreed to take part in a debate on how to address eating disorders after some countries took measures to ban ultra-skinny models from their catwalks, according to French fashion’s governing body… “We must inform people, but above all not regulate the sector more than it already is,” said Didier Grumbach. “Regulation is something that weighs down the atmosphere”… Grumbach had initially said the debate on eating disorders did not concern the fashion industry and it did not plan to take part.

It seems obvious that everyone outside of Spain is just kicking up some dust and trying to make it look like they’re “tackling this important issue.”

Reasons for people to move to Portland, from the Oregon Real Estate blog:And there I was, thinking I preferred having my parents alive. I’m such an idiot…so naive!

A few weeks ago, I was perusing the E.M. on Sandy when I came across two Sunset Valley records I didn’t have in my collection—Icepond and Boyscout Superhero. I have rocked Goldbank 78 Stack for a few years, and have been hoping to score these two records for quite some time now. I love that feeling of rediscovering a band I love for the second (or third, fourth, fifth…) time and getting all excited about their music again.

All this got me thinking—what the hell ever happened to Sunset Valley anyway? I’m still not too sure, but I do know that S.V. front man Herman Jolly is playing a set at the Towne Lounge this Saturday night and I’m going to check it out.

And for those of you, like myself, who miss Sunset Valley, here is “Grubby Cartoon Hands” to help get your morning started right. Click here to listen.

Tonight the red-hot Blazers travel down to the Dirty Dirty South to play the Houston Rockets. Yao Ming is injured, so the Rockets are leaning heavy on the wild shooting skills of Tracy McGrady, a seven-time All-Star who has the most pimped out MySpace page I have ever seen. Add him as your friend and ask him why he can’t do the multi-ball dunk like this crazy-ass Rockets cheerleader can.

A bike attack which ignited racial tensions on Bikeportland’s site may have sparked a new plan for community bike patrols in North Portland.

Jonathan Maus of Bikeportland met with John Canda—director of Tom Potter’s office of youth violence prevention— yesterday, and he says, may have sold Canda on the idea of community bike patrols following the attack on January 10.

Maus deleted several comments from his site in the wake of the attack, because he felt they did not reflect well on Portland’s biking community, meanwhile elsewhere, the nutters really ran wild. But Maus says he was keen to take constructive action to move the debate forward, rather than indulging ignorance—that’s why he called Canda.

“We discussed adding bikes into the existing foot patrol program,” says Maus. “I think I sold [Canda] on the idea of incorporating the biking community into community policing.”

Maus says he sees a possible scheme as a way to get more young people involved in neighborhood activism—”at the moment, it’s mainly 65 year olds,” he says. “And I think the biggest thing is, this could be a great way to change people’s perception of bikes in general. It’s not just about Critical Mass or Bridge Pedal, but being involved in the community.”

The idea is in its early stages, but you heard it here, first. We’ll have Canda’s comments shortly. BICYCLIST: GIVING THE ORDERS AROUND HERE

The Tram’s opening this weekend: Cue Portland’s “keep it weird” troops.

Aerial Tram Opening - ZE SLOPES HAT ERSCHLOSSEN!!!

On the inaugural day of the Portland Aerial Tram, a group of 15 Portland artists, architects and designers will be posing as a lost european ski party searching for the best ski opportunities in Portland. Clad in full 1980’s ski regalia and accompanying accents, the group will determinedly search for the whereabouts of the runs the new Portland Lodge and ski runs now that our new ski lift is open. With photographer in-tow, the group will begin their journey in NW Portland at 11:30AM on the Portland Streetcar and travel to the South Waterfront Terminus of the Portland Aerial Tram. We hope to see you out on the slopes!

Who: European Gelandesprung Exploration
Where: Portland Aerial Tram
When: Saturday, Jan. 27, 2007
Time: (2) rides … 12:30 & 1:15PM
Why: After all the controversy it’s time to lighten up and initiate the Tram into our unique Portland culture of hilarity & ridiculosity.

I take it back. I’m no longer disappointed that I’ll be out of town this weekend, missing the tram opening.

With the welcome (?) news of a Van Halen reunion, it’s time to look back on what was perhaps their brightest moment in an all-too-short career: the HOT FOR TEACHER video. For those who haven’t seen it in awhile, it’s not just a searing indictment of our educational system—and its lack of bikini-clad instructors—it also provides clear and unarguable proof that drummer ALEX VAN HALEN should never, EVER be allowed in a synchronized dance routine. Guys… C’MON! This video is going to be worshipped throughout eternity. Is it going to kill you to rehearse??

I’ve got tram fever. Therefore, I must have this official tram grand opening shirt. Commissioner Sam Adams recruited Portland’s Crazy Coconut (the Mercury’s promo whiz Amy Rosko is one half of CC) to do up the awesome shirts.

Gimmicky art shows—not a big fan. A few years ago, Portland was overrun with people organizing ridiculously conceived group exhibitions that usually resulted in terrible artwork. (I, for one, was invited to participate in a show wherein the artists would each receive hundreds of yards of diaper fabric to “create” with. I declined because the show sounded terrible, and the fact that I—a photographer who never works with sculpture or installation—would be invited to particiapte was indicative of the half-assed concept driving the show.) My attitude has always been “Let artists make good work, and if you want to show it, show it and show it well.” Period.

However, something is brewing at Quality Pictures that’s certainly captured my attention. It’s called Picture Ping Pong, and the show’s MySpace “About Me” reads:

I am a group exhibition opening on February 1, 2007 at Quality Pictures in Portland, Oregon. I’m comprised of a small sampling of artists who post drawings, photos, and videos of who knows whats on other artists, friends and occasionally random peoples’ pages. The participating artists are not a collective. They are only a small sampling of a larger group of myspace creatives. Picture Ping Pong’s top friends include all 16 participating artists. Most of the artists have met only online and continue to interact almost exclusively via the internet. To picture ping pong is to visually converse and play through sharing images. ~~~ LET’s PLAY PICTURE PING PONG!!

Even more encouraging, the photos, drawings, and collages uploaded to the show’s MySpace are a ton of fun (with a few stinkers, as par for the course) and have gotten me really excited for the show. I’m really curious to see how the show comes off (a big difference between this show and lots of its similarly conceived, crappier local cousins is that PPP is full of diverse, talented artists, rather than the curator’s 15 best friends). So here’s hoping this one comes off well, and thank you Quality Pictures for making me challenge my preconceived attitudes.

Want to run with the devil? Sure you do!!

Step one: navigate to YouTube

Step two: enter “eurovision” in the search field along with any numerical value between 1970 and 1979.

Step three: watch and question your faith in humanity.

I found “Pump! Pump!” What will you find?

I saw this on the back page of this week’s Mercury, then found it on Bishops’ website, too. I’ve stared at it for the better part of half an hour. But I can’t figure out why the hell City Commissioner Sam Adams posed for photographer Pasha, sans shirt, for Bishops. Any clue?

Is it because he finally shaved off that scraggly beard? (Scott and I had many conversations about that beard. Scott—who also owns a beard—was generally in favor of Adams’ scruff. I was opposed. He looked like he’d just gotten back from vacation and hadn’t had a chance to shave.)

I hate malls. I only go into Pioneer Place on my way to the movie theater or for the occasional sight seeing escapade at Saks, which isn’t really even IN the mall per se. Thus, I often forget that Moda Nova is the one really worthwhile store at PP, with a stock of evening wear, jewelry, and shoes by a host of international designers who operate on a small, indie type level. Apparently I’m not the only one who forgot: Sadly, the store will close at the end of this month. The upside is that now that I’ve reminded you it’s there, you can scoop up the remaining inventory—everything is at least 65% off!! My favorite part of the store is the authentic tango shoe selection, handmade in Buenos Aires. I am a big fan of dance shoes, as I’ve mentioned before with my fondness for the French ballerina-designed Repettos, and these, from Suipacha, are what I’ll be looking for at the sale:

… Fox is expected to cast a comic actor in the role of Dave Seville, pal to the three chipmunks, Alvin, Simon and Theodore, who will be computer generated….

Goddamn I loved that cartoon when I was a kid. Really can’t wait for the shitty live-action-with-cheap-CG version starring Freddie Prinze Jr. or whothefuckever. Jesus. The whole dark, ugly scheme can be found here. (And thanks for ruining my day, Dark Horizons.)

From Metroblogging Portland’s dieselboi, who says there were nine engines at the building across from Macy’s on 5th.

According to a Time magazine poll released today, SEN. HILLARY CLINTON is the clear frontrunner for the Democratic presidential nomination, with Mercury favorite BARACK OBAMA trailing far behind in second.

Despite the buzz generated by Senator Barack Obama entering the race, the survey found that Senator Clinton would beat him for the Democratic nomination by a margin of 40% to 21%. Senator John Edwards is a distant third with 11%. Obama clearly suffers a disadvantage in profile among likely voters, with only 51% indicating that they knew enough about him to form an opinion, compared with 94% saying the same of Hillary Clinton. In Obama’s favor, however, is his far lower negative ratings. While 58% of voters familiar with Hillary Clinton have a positive view of her, 41% give her negative marks, for a net favorability score of +17. By contrast, Obama’s net favorability score is +47.

So what do you think? Will Obama’s numbers skyrocket when voters get around to hearing his message, and bask in his warm smile? And are Hillary supporters really supportive, or have they just not seen this photo?

EEESH! Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t expect her to be hot… I would just feel more comfortable if she wasn’t reminding me of my 9th grade algebra teacher (whom we called “The Bear”).

I rarely care about anything other than Pugs, tofu-based snack treats and The Blazers, but for the love of god, why have you people NOT seen Children of Men yet? You are a heartless monster if you are not crushed by the sheer beauty, and power, of this film, yet to date it has grossed $14 million LESS than We Are Marshall. Ouch.

Not only is it the greatest movie I have seen in years, if not ever, but it also contains the best use of music within the context of a film you’ll ever see. It might even make a King Crimson fan out of you, which when you think about it, really says a lot about a film.

Please, you owe it to yourself, see Children of Men.

A couple nights ago I was having a whiskey at a bar somewhere near Sellwood when a friend brought up a conversation where another friend in Rhode Island—someone Teflon-coated in credibility and impeachable in taste and cultural perspective—had said recently that everyone on the east coast is saying Brooklyn is “done” and that Portland is the “new Brooklyn.” This is not a new discussion, and nothing I’m altogether interested in usually, but it did get me thinking about that nebulous bestowing of fleeting “newness” upon a city. The first time I moved here (I left once before) people were calling Portland the “new Seattle.” I didn’t know that until I got here; instead I came under an “anywhere but fucking California” escape plan. But that’s neither here nor there.

Is there, then, a difference between being the new Seattle and the new Brooklyn? I think there is. With the former we’re said to have better music and art and, more so, some sort of creative “scene.” In calling us the new Brooklyn, I feel as if people are prescribing upon us a kind of vague and obtuse hip-ness, a style versus substance trip that doesn’t carry much weight—‘cept for people looking to “be a part of something” and not really knowing what that something is. This, then, is the opposite of new Seattle-hood, wherein the ideal reality or plan or game is working hard to refine something particular and specific, under the constant threat and possibility of losing all in its pursuit.

Or maybe not. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it’s just too early in the morning and I haven’t eaten and maybe the fog outside really can climb in you like people where I grew up used to say.

Which is a long way of saying, what do you think? Really, this is a meaningless thing to debate about as the world continues to fall to shit. (Did you see the State of the Union? Did you read about Tarleton State University’s MLK party?) But it’s on my mind this morning and it probably won’t be there by noon, so I figured I’d type it out and see if anyone had any ideas.

Hey, Blog Towners. When I asked on Tuesday for Valentine’s restaurant recommendations, I meant, “does anybody know a nice, romantic restaurant?” I did NOT, repeat NOT, ask for a bunch of pissy fucking losers to bitch about how nobody loves them. Hence, our sister paper’s I, Anonymous this week just had me waving my arms in the air, shouting, “YES, YES, YES!!!” So. Stick this extract in your Valentine-hating bottom:

Why don’t you get off your ass and show love first—instead of thinking the day is a plot against you? Why the belief that a holiday has to stop just because YOU don’t celebrate it? What, are you going to tell the world that celebrating Chinese New Year is all about making YOU feel bad because you’re not Chinese? Maybe you’re fucking single because you’re a whiny loser who thinks the WORLD REVOLVES AROUND YOU.

Right. Now, speaking of “the world revolving around YOU,” that’s wrong. It’s a simple mistake. The world revolves around ME. So if you want to send a Valentine my way, and contribute to Hallmark’s world domination (I’m a board member, I hold stock…), the address is: 605 NE 21st, Portland, OR. Normally, I get about 20. But this year, I’m shooting for at least 55. Never met me? Doesn’t matter. Get writing…

The American Idol audition process is nothing if not a mixed bag. More often than not, it’s a depressing exercise in humiliation for the contestants, and a worthless showcase of the judges’ lack of sympathy and humor.
That is, until IAN BENARDO came along!
While this show is fakier than Fakey McFakerson at the Celebrity Impersonator Convention in Vegas, at least the brilliant IAN BENARDO knows how to milk the system for every ounce of self-publicity—and I’m hooked! Screw everybody else, IAN BENARDO is MY American Idol.

Via Cory, my prolific Today in PDX supplier:

Oh wow, like we never saw this coming. It turns out that after years of fucking with their rapidly aging fans, Van Halen is FINALLY reuniting with their 3rd best singer (everyone knows it’s Gary Cherone #1, Hagar #2) and esteemed author, Diamond David Lee Roth. Even more bizarre is that Eddie Van Halen’s 15-year-old kid, Wolfgang, is replacing original bassist Michael Anthony. No word yet on what instrument Valerie Bertinelli will be playing.

Police Chief Rosie Sizer came face to face with the likely victims of her radical restructuring of North Precinct tonight, and they’re not happy about it.SIZER: SHOWING NORTH PORTLAND THE CHOP.

As we reported last week, Sizer is hoping to remove the commander of North precinct altogether, and shift 7 sergeants and command staff from N and NE precincts over to E precinct, which gets more calls for service than N and NE precincts combined, but is currently served by the same number of command staff. She explained the numbers to the 80-strong crowd; East precinct gets 29% of calls for service, with the same number of sergeants as North East, which gets 20%, and North, which gets 10%.

The crowd’s response? “Whatever…”

“No matter how you spin it, this proposal amounts to closing North precinct,” said 6-year North Portland resident, Doretta Schroch. “Without the command staff, it’s not really a precinct.”

“You’re punishing success, this is about the community’s relationship with the police,” said Cornelius Swart, publisher of the St.Johns Sentinel, who instead suggested Sizer redistrict all the precincts, rather than simply focusing her budget cuts on North Precinct, which has cut crime dramatically in the last 10 years. Sizer responded that redistricting all of Portland’s precincts would be a far more difficult political battle than what she is suggesting.

“Will this lead to less police service in North Portland?” asked another 6-year North Portland resident, Susan Abe, prompting Sizer to admit that, “yeah,” it might.

Ultimately, however, Sizer is determined that her proposals do not amount to the closure of North Precinct, simply the redistribution of command staff. She is not surprised North Portlanders are dismayed to hear they might be losing a commander and some sergeants, but says: “As chief of police, I’m looking out for the interests of all citizens of Portland.”

Two weeks ago, council delayed hearing of the controversial PARC report on officer involved shootings, because community groups said the city auditor’s office was trying to sneak it through without giving the community time to read it. The good news? The cops are roughly 40% less likely to shoot you today than they were three years ago (give or take 30%, or so….), as you can tell from these statistics, presented by IPR director, Leslie Stevens, to the media two weeks ago:Phew. I bet you feel much better. The bad news? While the stats look at how likely you are to get shot, they do nothing to determine whether your race, age, gender, or sexual orientation might be a factor. And that’s what frustrated city council this afternoon.

“Is there a diagnostic tool that lends any kind of insight as to whether conscious or unconscious bias was part of a shooting incident?” asked Sam Adams, prompting City Auditor Gary Blackmer to respond, “the researchers can’t tell what’s going on.”

“I think this conversation is why we are going to be meeting next Tuesday,” said police Chief Rosie Sizer, of the first meeting of the racial profiling commission. “I think there’s no empirical solution to any of this, but we’re game for the discussion.”

“I agree that it’s complex,” said Randy Leonard. “But sometimes, we make things more complex than they really are.”

In other words? While the IPR has done a great job working with PARC to produce a statistical report on officer-involved shootings, council wants more from its police review body than a set of numbers and assurance that Portland is “doing more than other cities” when it comes to curbing cop shootings. The mayor has also asked for money in this year’s budget for an independent review of the IPR.

“I think the IPR is more defensive than the police department on this issue,” said Justice for Jose Mejia Poot-activist, Martin Gonzalez, after the hearing. (Poot, a 29-year old Mexican laborer who spoke little English, was shot by Portland police at Pacific Gateway psychiatric hospital in 2001). “PARC may be saying it’s found no bias in the statistics, but I think the police bureau is politically correct enough not to put its bias down in the reports these days. However, just because it’s not in the data, doesn’t mean you’re not influenced in one way or another.”

Local designer of the ladylike line Garnish, sold at her very own boutique (1524 NE Alberta), Erica Platt has announced her winter sale, which includes sweaters at 50% off, pants at 25% off, and other pieces marked down as much as 75% off. Head in now, and also look out for the Sugar Shuffle, another joint effort of Alberta boutiques to entice shoppers down the street with complimentary drinks and sweets. That’s happening February 8th.

Remember the dragon everybody hates in Old Town/Chinatown? Well, soon, it will indeed be nothing but a memory, as the Regional Arts and Culture Council (RACC) has agreed to remove it, at last. DRAGON: SODDING OFF, SHORTLY

RACC says it is “supporting the artist’s request,” after sculptor Brian Goldbloom said he wanted to “do the right thing,” and have the dragon removed. As a result of the debacle, RACC will also engage more citizens of Chinese descent on its art selection panel in future. It is unclear where the decomissioned dragon, which cost $22,000, will go now, but RACC is seeking to engage with the community about what to do next.

RACC is, of course, to be commended for “doing the right thing” in this case, ultimately. But is it just me, or does anybody else get suspicious of the words “engage with the community” when something like this happens? RACC has gone to elaborate pains (perhaps even too elaborate) at every stage, to defend its community engagement process over the dragon. There are, indeed, 11 bullet points on its press release about it, listing missed opportunitites for the Chinese community to have “given feedback.” The problem is: if you can’t get the community to come to those meetings and tell you the dragon stinks, then you haven’t ADEQUATELY ENGAGED THEM. No matter what “process” you’ve used, or how many bullet points you wave about.

I love that Givenchy’s haute couture collection is goth as all get out, snubbing all manner of conventional dress for these so-called “spring” and “summer” months (anyone who can afford these can afford to have the temperature around them adjusted to their wardrobe instead of the other way around anyhow). So, witchy, so evil stepmother-y, so sci-fi…

Ahhhhhh!

Terry Gross does a compelling interview with Guillermo del Toro today on Fresh Air. Del Toro (known in Mexico as the ugly del Toro) wrote and directed the multiple category Oscar-nominated Pan’s Labyrinth which does great things with magical realism, the Spanish civil war and prosthetics.

Listen here.

The bad news: Battlestar Galactica, the best and most critically acclaimed television show currently airing, isn’t doing so hot in the ratings.

The good news: At least enough people are watching to make toys. (I guess that’s good news, anyway—if you’re the sort of person who reads actionfigureinsider.com. [Which I’m not, just to clarify.])

The even better news: Tricia Helfer, AKA Number Six from Battlestar, is baring it all in the current Playboy. (At the request of one Wm. Steven Humphrey—who’s [A] my boss, and [B] an even bigger Battlestar geek than I—there may or may not be some NSFW pics after the jump. Just saying.)

So since asking why people aren’t watching a show that won a fucking Peabody, I’ll try another tactic. LOOK AT HER! SHE’S ON BATTLESTAR! WHY AREN’T YOU WATCHING THIS SHOW?! I MEAN, LOOK AT HER!

IESB.net for more, pervs.

Great book, shitty cover

The National Book Critics Circle, “the nationwide organization of more than 500 book critics, editors and reviewers,” announced the finalists for their hugely coveted awards last weekend, and I’m stoked to say that the Mercury reviewed a good chunk of the nominated books. Here they are, with links to our reviews:

Best Novel:

The Road by Cormac McCarthy (my favorite book of the year)
The Lay of the Land by Richard Ford (second favorite book of the year. interview with Ford here)
What is the What by Dave Eggers
Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
The Inheritance of Loss by Kiran Desai

From Best Nonfiction:
The Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan

From Best Memoir/Autobiography:
Fun Home by Alison Bechdel

(John Irving demands to know why he wasn’t allowed to vote for himself, despite not having published a book in ‘06.)

Being a long-term fan of Juxtapoz magazine, it’s always nice to read about art events in Portland in a San-Fran mag. Browsing through their website I came across this new N. Mississippi art space that recently opened, Streel Level, behind Pin-Me Apparel. Not much info on their website, but check out Juxtapoz for a nice rundown of their opening night.

Let the bells ring and the confetti fall, JENNIFER ANISTON has FINALLY gotten a nose job. (Or as her publicist likes to call it, “a procedure done to correct a deviated septum.” ) Yeaaah. RIGHT. Says Us Weekly…

In the early morning hours of January 20, Aniston’s driver dropped her off at Dr. Raj Kanodia’s office in Beverly Hills.

The actress emerged four hours later, but instead of her usual golden glow, she sported fresh black-and-blue bruises along her right eyebrow and across the tip of her nose and upper lip.

“Jen has hated her nose ever since her first nose job,” a source close to the actress tells Us. “She always said how lousy it was and that her nose was still too wide.”

Now, a lot of you may be saying, “Jennifer, it doesn’t matter that your husband left you for an obviously more attractive woman, you should’ve been PROUD, and learned to love what everyone recognizes as equine features.” But in my opinion, Jennifer was right to say “NEIGGGHHHH!” Self realization is in short supply in Hollywood—and she knows what everyone is thinking: While we would never say that Jennifer’s nose looks like a banana, we can all agree it’s a good thing it’s not yellow.

Okay, the quote in that headline isn’t really Tom Potter. But he’s having a tough old time passing the Sit/Lie ordinance his Street Access For Everyone committee has been working on since last May. Potter this morning withdrew the controversial ordinance once again, until benches, restrooms and a day-access center for homeless can be installed downtown, in response to fears raised by commissioner Erik Sten, the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) and activist group Portland Copwatch, about a possible premature enforcement of the law, when downtown’s homeless have no place else to go.

Council did manage to appoint a SAFE oversight committee, however, drawn from representatives of downtown businesses, residents, homeless and civil rights advocates, as well as law enforcement, which it has given the task of judging when there are enough alternative facilities to be able to look at bringing the ordinance in, and telling the homeless, “get up.”

Work is now underway to build six new restroom facilities downtown and in the Lloyd district by June, including a trial project working with Central City Concern to build attended restrooms, which would be staffed around the clock. Council is also working with homeless shelters so that they can open longer.ACLU’s MEYER: RAISED OBJECTIONS

The failure of council to pass the ordinance is a surprise to many, since it was expected to pass, despite last minute objections raised last week by the ACLU over the ordinance now including sitting on “chairs, stools, or any other object”. Meyer was grilled by Commissioner Sam Adams over these objections.

“I’m just having trouble understanding why you would be willing to compromise about sitting on the sidewalk, or on a blanket on the sidewalk,” Adams said, “But why you would have a problem with somebody sitting fifteen inches above the sidewalk.”

Myer responded that the SAFE committee had never discussed those fifteen inches. “I would rather that we err on the side of embracing rather than being too restrictive,” she said, referring to the homeless. In the meantime, downtown cops have no tool they can use to respond to complaints from downtown businesses about homeless folks driving away their customers, and if you fancy taking a nap on Burnside, feel free.

Now that Sam Adams has effectively guaranteed that there will be a public vote in may on changing Portland’s form of government, the real debate can begin over what works best for Portland.

For the past few weeks (and with a lower profile, since last summer), the debate has centered around process—was the Charter Review Commission’s process adequate and open enough to justify sending it to voters? Was city council obligated to refer the changes to the voters, no matter what the recommendations contained? Politically, who benefits from sending it to voters? Mayor Tom Potter? Adams? Erik Sten?

But now, with the May vote all but shored up, the discussion shift to focus on the substance of the charter change—not that it isn’t important to discuss the year-and-a-half long process, because it is, and you can expect more on that from us in the coming weeks.

As I see it, the debate—and the campaigns—will shape up over the question of “efficiency.” The council/mayor/Chief Administrative Officer form that the review commission has presented is, in the words of Sten, a more “corporate” form of government, one that places a high value on efficiency.

“In 2005, council wanted us to look at certain things, largely the delivery of city services,” says David Wang, the commission’s chair, adding that the current commissioner form of government has inherent efficiency weaknesses. “The form we’re presenting isn’t a panacea, it’s not going to solve all the problems. But on balance, what were presenting provides incremental improvements.”

At last week’s city council hearing, Wang pointed to the water billing fiasco that happened under Sten’s watch. Sten masterfully played the fallout from that as a plus for the commissioner form of government—since he was the elected head of the water bureau, he was accountable to the voters, and was able to fire those responsible. But Wang pressed further, questioning whether the problem would have happened in the first place under a more “professional management” structure like the one he’s proposing.

What Sten didn’t point out, but should have, is that a corporate structure in no way guarantees against such fug-ups. Remember Enron? And many other local corporations have had their own billing problems—the difference with having a form of government like Portland’s is that when there are massive screw-ups, voters can react appropriately to hold leadership responsible. Under the proposed form, an unelected bureaucrat—the CAO—would head up all bureaus, and not even the city council could fire the administrator.

On the flipside, is efficiency the ultimate value that city council should hold? Or is openness, accountability, and transparency more in line with Portlanders’ values?

Undoubtedly, you’ve seen Star Wars recreated in a number of different ways, but how about as “hand theater”? Check out this scene of the rebels attacking the Death Star—as performed by a bunch of hands!

From Ben:

I know we’re on the whole vegan thing, but….”Cheese in 3D” at the bus stop on MLK and Ainsworth!

Share: todayinpdx@portlandmercury.com

Mermaids, flappers, school girls, pirates, bondage, military uniforms. You got a fetish? Krysztof Nemeth has probably drawn it. Based out of Seattle, Nemeth has been drawing pretty ladies for over a decade. Check out an interview with this charming lad behind the cut.

MERCURY: So you like sexy ladies, huh?

KRYSZTOF NEMETH: Oh, totally.

Me too. We have something in common.

It's kind of an obsession—but a healthy one—since it just gets channeled into my art.

Has it ever gotten channeled into anything besides your art? I know you're a musician too. Does it get channeled there as well?

Oh, sure! I think that sexiness is an inspiration for ANYTHING! You can butter a piece of toast in a way that's inspired by a sexy thought, person, action...I think it's just something that if you just tune into, it can be fuel for even the most mundane task, really. Creativity, in any form, is especially susceptible to the sway of what one personally finds sexy.

I'd like to see toast buttered in a sexy way more often. I think the world would be a better place.

I totally agree that. We need more sexy toast.

What things are your biggest inspirations for your art?

Well, when I'm looking for someone to draw, I have to feel like they have some kind of unique character they're trying to exude. I want to see a real personality coming through the drawing, so I am most attracted to draw women who have that character already as part of themselves. I try to have every one of my drawings look like a unique person instead of the same person just dressed in different clothes. So, it's partially that, and partially what I'm thinking is particularly sexy at the moment. I'll be inspired by a book or a film or a song, or just see someone sitting a particular way on a barstool or walking down the street. I'm in constant observational mode, cataloging all this stuff in my head and my sketchbook, and whic