Sterling Moss:

(as part of the all night dance party Dirty 6 with Lee Coombs, JFlea, Drunken Monkey, and more.)

Yesterday, Mercury news editor Scott Moore told Portland’s civic forum, City Club, “Portland is just too damn polite”. You could catch it on OPB last night at 7pm, but let’s face it, if you have a life, you’re not around to listen to OPB at 7pm on a Friday night. Right? So if you missed the program, why not listen to the MP3 on the city club website, eh? Click this link to load the mp3 file. It might take a moment, and there’s three minutes of chit-chat at the start to fast-forward through, (hello, editor?!), but it soon gets going. And Scott’s voice makes nice weekend listening, if you know what I mean. Soothing… like a smart, politically-savvy balm for your tattered soul…

Six raging grannies were arrested yesterday outside the Army recruitment office on NE Broadway, having blocked the entrance to the office with their rocking chairs for more than two hours. Thanks to Bonnie Tinker of the Surge Protection Brigade—which organized the protest, for sending us this image:This is the first time the cops have moved to arrest the grandmothers, who have now succeeded in closing the office for at least part of the day on three successive fridays. There’s an interesting debate opening up on Metblogs about it, with blogger Aaron suggesting the grannies are “insulting the soldiers” by staging their protests. But the grandmothers—who all seem very polite—say they are protesting the Army’s recruiting techniques, and that prospective troops are not being given sufficient information to make informed decisions about whether to sign up.

UPDATE: Mental health advocates say while they’re encouraged by the mayor’s mental health initiative action plan released yesterday, the group has done nothing to address James Chasse’s death.

“I appreciate the Mayor, and the new County Chair, and all the other participants’ interest in fixing our mental health system,” says Jason Renaud, of the Mental Health Association of Portland. “It’s long overdue. But James Chasse’s death was a result of an attack by three police officers and a thoughtless delay in providing medical treatment. The persons who attacked James are still employed by the city as police officers. The persons who ignored his injuries are still working for the ambulance service, the Fire Department and the County Jail.”

Renaud, who is listed as a participant in the mayor’s initiative meetings, has not attended any. “I’ll start going when they start doing something about what happened to James Chasse,” he says.

ORIGINAL POST, Friday Feb 2, 18:17pm: New recruits to Oregon’s police forces could soon be undergoing lie detector tests to determine their suitability as part of the mayor’s mental health/public safety initiative, which today published $6m of recommendations to improve statewide mental health and public safety systems’ response to those with mental illness.QUESTION: ARE YOU A LIABILITY?

The initiative’s action plan includes recommendations to improve the treatment and housing of those with mental illness, as well as the “cultural competence” of Oregon’s mental health and criminal justice systems, particularly to address the over-representation of African Americans with mental illness in the criminal justice system.

A key proposal in the action plan is the establishment of a $2.9m sub-acute facility, using state dollars to provide brief-period, 24-hour residential treatment for those in mental health crisis, rather than having to un-necessarily hospitalize them.The plan also endorses Senator Avel Gordly’s proposed Use of Deadly Force legislation, which includes mandatory counselling for cops involved in deadly force incidents, as well as a reform of the controversial grand jury process which acquitted those involved in the death of James Chasse of criminal liability, late last year. There are also recommendations for reforming the booking and justice system, and for better educating the community about mental illness to reduce stigma.

The question is, now what? While the plan may appear comprehensive, and sound marvellous, etcetera, it now needs to be put into action, which is a whole different deal involving a huge co-operative effort, and could take years. Action plans are great, but the mental health community will be watching for action, now.

In the mean time, there’ll be no lie-detector tests for you, Mr.wannabe cop-ernator. So, tell me all about yourself…and remember: BE HONEST.

Lame. This weekend is lethally slow for exciting new film releases. There’s the kidnapping doc Abduction at the Hollywood and Mandy Moore and Diane Keaton’s Because I Said So at every Regal Theater you can think of. Probably your best bet is either the doc on musician Carmelo Sanchez that’s at the Clinton St., or Lady Vengeance at Fifth Ave, or—if you still haven’t seen it—Children of Men. (I know I’m running this into the ground, but man, what a great movie.) If none of that sounds good—and/or if you didn’t burn out on them when you were like 12—Spike & Mike are back at Cinema 21.

You can also use the Mercury’s kickass new tool for finding movie times/music/art shows/restaurants, Found It!, to track down whatever films and times and theaters you damn well please. (Me? I’m kicking it at home this weekend, doing some reading and playing some Lost Planet: Extreme Condition on ye olde Xbox 360. Strenuous, I know. Oh, how I know.)

Below: The trailer for Lady Vengeance, which I think is fairly beautiful.

Hey! A new installment of 3-Minute Limit has been posted! In the meantime, check out this Roxy Music video from nineteen hundred and seventy-two….it’s punk spastic and glam-tastic!

Bryan Ferry…so pretty….Brian Eno…so ugly…Roxy Music…so awesome!

Holy jeez, the Super Bowl song battle has just exploded this year. Usually there are a few novelty tunes out there before every big game, but this year has brought out the big guns.

Kanye West and Common lay the verbal beatdown on Reggie Wayne and the Colts.

But Indy isn’t taking that lying down, as they are breaking out their biggest little star (no, not John Cougar), Lil Ronnie! This 12-year-old’s Super Bowl Bound Remix is a re-worked version of an older song of his (no, seriously), which was one of my favorite Top 20 Football Related Songs of 2005. What Lil Ronnie (pictured above) lacks in flow, he makes up in… um, well, he’s rapping about tight-end Dallas Clark, what did you expect? Tupac? Come on, give the kid a break.

If all this new-school bravado isn’t your steez, The Record Robot has an old-school jam for the ages.

Yesterday, Erik Sten and Randy Leonard fired what some have called the opening salvo in the charter review campaign—which, GAWD, hasn’t officially even started yet—by challenging Mayor Potter’s ballot language.

Potter responded by partially conceding. He’s keeping the ballot title and question the same, but his staff has changed the summary slightly in order “to help clarify more of what the change of government would do” and “address the concerns raised by Commissioners Sten and Leonard.”

Here’s what Sten and Leonard proposed:

This measure changes the form of the City’s government to consolidate executive and administrative authority with the Mayor and the Chief Administrative Officer. Currently, the City Council and the Mayor share in managing the executive, administrative, and legislative functions of the City. This measure would give the Mayor and the Chief Administrative Officer exclusive authority over executive and administrative functions, and limit the Council’s responsibility to exclusively legislative and quasi-judicial functions. As in the current form of government, the Mayor would remain a voting member of the Council.

And here’s the mayor’s new version:

The measure changes the structure of city government adopted in 1913. For the past 94 years, City Council members and Mayor have shared all executive, legislative, quasi-judicial and administrative functions. The measure distributes executive and administrative functions to Mayor and legislative and quasi-judicial functions to Council. The Mayor remains a voting member of Council, but does not have veto power. The Mayor prepares the budget, distributes work among offices, hires and discharges most employees. Council adopts the budget and strategic plans, and exercises legislative oversight through investigations and hearings.

The measure authorizes Chief Administrative Officer (CAO) to manage and coordinate city operations, administration and personnel, under supervision of the Mayor. The Mayor hires the CAO, subject to Council confirmation. The Mayor may fire the CAO for lack of performance.

Bureau directors are currently hired by individual Commissioners. The measure transfers responsibility for performance, including hiring and firing of bureau directors, to the Mayor.

When Bill Gates was on The Daily Show last week, we were all geared up for him having some fun with John Hodgman—the Daily Show’s “Resident Expert” and the pudgy nerd in the “I’m a Mac, I’m a PC” Apple commercials. It never happened—apparently because Gates really hates those ads! Check out this excerpt from the Newsweek Bill Gates interview, where he pimps the new Vista operating system, and shit talks John Hodgman. NERRRRRRRRD FIGHT!

Are you bugged by the Apple commercial where John Hodgman is the PC, and he has to undergo surgery to get Vista? I’ve never seen it. I don’t think the over 90 percent of the [population] who use Windows PCs think of themselves as dullards, or the kind of klutzes that somebody is trying to say they are.

How about the implication that you need surgery to upgrade?
Well, certainly we’ve done a better job letting you upgrade on the hardware than our competitors have done. You can choose to buy a new machine, or you can choose to do an upgrade. And I don’t know why [Apple is] acting like it’s superior. I don’t even get it. What are they trying to say? Does honesty matter in these things, or if you’re really cool, that means you get to be a lying person whenever you feel like it? There’s not even the slightest shred of truth to it.

Does the entire tenor of that campaign bother you, that Mac is the cool guy and PC—
That’s for my customers to decide.

Sounds to me like Gates is enjoying his plate of sour grapes—if he had really wanted to shoot down the commercial, he should’ve ignored the Hodgman angle and focused on the smarmy hip guy. That dude is a prick.

Here’s Scott, sounding off this afternoon at City Club’s RANT 3—”I’m a little nervous,” he began. “I’ve never been sober after 12pm before.”

Tune in to OPB tonight at 7pm to hear Scott explaining why the charter review process ISN’T BORING, why the Oregonian is “a joke,” (leaving Jack Ohman, the Oregonian’s cartoonist, to defend the paper—”we’ve won awards….er…we’ve been around for 3000 years….”), why Victoria Taft is, well, a right-wing maniac, and why, why, why the Mercury is THE paper for Portlanders over 50. After the three initial rants, the City Club audience was invited to say one word into the microphone, and have the 3 ranters respond. After Taft exalted Bush’s response to Hurricane Katrina for several minutes, former County Council candidate and North Portland community leader Lew Frederick stepped to the mike just a second too late. Afterwards he said, “I was going to say ‘revisionist history’.” Tune in tonight to hear more!

Duchess boutique (909 N Beech), is in its final days, with the last day of operation slated as Feb 11th. Until then, they are “down to the wire” and “not messing around,” with all prices currently slashed to 40-50% off.

You know what to do!

Once again, tequila saves the day: The good folks down at Oh Baby lingerie store (the NE location: 1811 NE Broadway) want you to buy something s-e-x-y for Valentines Day this year. To ease the process they are throwing a “happy hour” from 5:30-8 pm this evening, where you will find chocolate, giveaways, and (thankfully) Patron. Get your skivvy on!

What do important political commentators do before appearing at important political forums? They remove the dog fur from their jackets, of course:MOORE: FAST AND FUR-IOUS

That’s right, City Club, the Mercury’s own Scott Moore is about to take you to task with his insightful comments and witty repartee, and face off against right-wing commentator Victoria Taft (after discovering PORN on her blog earlier this week). The potential for awkwardness is extreme. The potential for awesomeness is, also. If you’re interested in hearing how Scott did, you can catch all of his comments tonight at 7pm on OPB.

Today’s Oregonian carries a blistering editorial sticking up for Tom Potter’s leadership, after cops’ union head Robert King accused the mayor of betraying his police officers by talking about the Chasse incident during his State of the City Address. Says the O:

Some officers want him to shut up and salute. When he opens his mouth about the Portland Police Bureau, apparently, he’s just supposed to smile and say something nice. Instead, Potter has a tendency to speak his mind.

Ouch! In Potter’s address on Friday, January 19th, he told city club: “I want the Chasse family to know, and our community to know that real change is happening.” But Robert King called him out in a letter written this Tuesday, timed to coincide with that afternoon’s attendance at the racial profiling committee:”Instead of providing leadership to broaden people’s understanding of what we do, you followed the lead of the media and their single-minded focus on controversy,” he wrote, adding that Potter has “tried and convicted the police of racial profiling.”

Potter is being tugged left and right, what with trying to please the cops, and satisfy the community he is taking his police bureau to task over Chasse’s controversial death, and racial profiling. The question is, do you think Potter has shown leadership on these issues, as the Oregonian suggests, or is he merely trying to keep everyone happy, including the media, by making the right comments at the right time? Is he really leading, or going through the motions?

If you do not care for Peyton Manning, Prince or Britney’s Ex, this Sunday is not your day. So if watching the Super Bowl is not your thing, I present you with The Puppy Bowl. Now in it’s third year, the Puppy Bowl is simply just a handful of puppies that wonder aimlessly around a football-themed dog pen. It’s such a dumb idea, that it’s kind of genius and it just might be better than the real game, which everyone knows will be an easy win for The Colts.

See that fluffy little puppy above? He’s totally a better quarterback than Rex Grossman.

Tonight’s Progressive Happy Hour, one of the best ways to get drunk and wonk out at the same time!

On tonight’s “agenda”? Senator Gordon Smith. (Okay, so there is no agenda—just a bunch of liberals getting together to get sloshed and dish political gossip—Smith is a good opener, though.)

OK, we think we’ve figured this out. Today is Groundhog Day.

If Gordon Smith pops out of his hole in the ground and sees his shadow, we’ll have six more months without an officially announced opponent. If Gordon Smith doesn’t see his shadow - our long dark winter is almost over, and we’ll get an opponent in just a few short weeks.

Or maybe it’s the other way around.

Either way, it’s the First Friday of the month — and that means it’s time for YOU to come out of your winter hole, and join us for Progressive Happy Hour.

We’re going old-school. The Galaxy. 909 East Burnside. Tonight. 5:30.

And remember, it’s Groundhog Day, February 2. 2/2. Every drink you order should be a double.

PHH sent out a little graphic, too:

If you saw The 40-Year-Old Virgin or Freaks and Geeks, you know that the awesome Seth Rogen is one funny mofo. Here’s the (NSFW) trailer for his new movie, Knocked Up, which also comes from the great Judd Apatow (who also did Anchorman, and the aforementioned Virgin and Freaks). I’m excited for this one. Tip o’ the hat to AICN.

I’m not exactly sure who did it — but SOMEBODY in the blogosphere called TYRA BANKS “fat.” And no, it wasn’t me! Anyway, now she’s super ticked off, and I hope you’re all happy. In case you missed it yesterday, here is Tyra Bank’s “Kiss My Fat Ass” Manifesto!
YOU GO, PLUS-SIZED GIRL!

This came in from the Doug Fir’s Alicia Rose:

Hello dear peeples,

A quick nudge to cast your vote for Doug Fir as Best Small live music venue in the 2007 Plug Awards!

The Plugs are kind of an indie version of the Grammys, and Doug Fir is nominated amongst some of the most notable clubs in the country - NYC’s Mercury Lounge, LA’s Echo, Schubas in Chicago and more as live music venue of the year. Fancy, eh?

I am actually going to NYC next week to attend the show at Irving Plaza, so if you dig what me and the rest of the DF staff are doing with the joint, please help us win by taking a sec to vote - voting closes FRIDAY 2/2! I can’t wait to get really dolled up for the show! whoo!

You heard the woman—GO VOTE! (Also, in other “best” categories can be found locals like The Gossip and The Thermals. Vote for them too! And HURRY, today’s the last day!

So those Aqua Teen Hunger Force things that made everyone in Boston start pissing themselves with fear? Has anyone around town like actually seen any of them? ABC says we’re supposed to have them:

They are part of an outdoor marketing campaign in 10 cities in support of Adult Swim’s animated television show Aqua Teen Hunger Force. They have been in place for two to three weeks in Boston, New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Atlanta, Seattle, Portland, Austin, San Francisco and Philadelphia.

Since we aren’t a bunch of pussies like the people in Boston, we clearly haven’t been flipping the fuck out about them. But I’m curious—has anyone seen, or even heard about, any in Portland? They look like this:

Also, here’s the Aqua Teen movie trailer. Which is funny.

From Nelz:

This would go under another NoPo Bicycle BeatDown. I was riding home from work (around 10:30 p.m. on the 30th of Jan.) on Ne 28th right before Broadway, next to Freddie’s, when I a car full of kids, at least one a female, passed by slowly while firing a BB Gun/Airsoft saying, “I’ll kill you Muther Fucker! That’s how we do it!” I was hit a few times in the body, but I got one in the side of my head, right next to my temple. I thought there was going to be a confrontation. The road was full of cars, the criminal vehicle only had one way to go, through the Freddie’s parking lot. It ripped through the lot and took a right on to Broadway, Eastbound. Kinda shocked, I just kept on biking home another few miles wondering if I was bleeding.

Living in North East Portland now for 4 months, I have experienced numerous Bicycle Hate Crimes, signifigantly more than the South East where I lived for 2 years and haven’t seen half the hate.

Thanks Erin LaCour for your great article Bike Beat. and Thank You PortlandMercury.

From the Portland Architecture blog comes news of an exhibition at the Portland Architects’ Institute, imagining if hurricane Katrina had hit Portland. It turns out, if the flooding caused by the broken levees were superimposed here, everything from Beaverton to Camas would be under a huge pink tide of strawberry milkshake: I was about to do a poll saying, “which part of Portland would you miss least?” then I remembered what happened to Vanport, and wondered if it might be in poor taste. I decided it would be. From Vanport’s Wikipedia entry:

The Vanport Flood parallels the more recent Hurricane Katrina disaster in New Orleans. In both cases, public officials led the population to believe that the damage would be slight, and in both cases the government response to the disaster was harshly criticized. Many have attributed the poor response, in both cases, to racist attitudes on the part of officials, who allegedly neglected to respond appropriately to the destruction of heavily-black communities.

So, really, Katrina already did hit Portland. Politically speaking…

Right. This is what you’ll be watching:

8:00 NBC THE OFFICE

Acting on bad advice from his friend Todd Packer (David Koechner), Michael (Steve Carell) brings two “adult” performers into the office -a stripper and Ben Franklin — in honor of Phyllis’s (Phyllis Smith) wedding shower. Meanwhile Karen (Rashida Jones) confronts Pam (Jenna Fischer) about her past with Jim (John Krasinski).

OOOH! Pam and Karen catfight! (Plus I love anything with a Ben Franklin impersonator.)

10:30 COMEDY CENTRAL THE SARAH SILVERMAN PROGRAM

Sarah plays a character named Sarah Silverman whose absurd daily life is told through an array of scripted scenes and song. In each episode, Sarah manages to fall into unique, sometimes unsettling and always hilarious predicaments, with her sister (played by real-life sister Laura Silverman), her geeky gay neighbors, Brian and Steve (Brian Posehn and Steve Agee) and Officer Jay (Jay Johnston) never far from her side.

They’re leaving out the part about her having sex with God. ‘CUZ THEY’RE CHICKEN!

11:30 CBS LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN

Tonight’s episode of Late Show With David Letterman marks Letterman’s 25th anniversary as a late-night host. And for the occasion, Letterman has invited back Bill Murray, who was the first guest on the debut episode of NBC’s Late Night With David Letterman on Feb. 1, 1982.

Sigh. I am so very, very old. BUT NOT AS OLD AS DAVE!

Did I mention that Sarah also has sex with a dog?

Just over from the offices of Commissioners Erik Sten and Randy Leonard: a memo challenging Mayor Potter’s proposed ballot language for the form of government change that will head to voters in May.

“It is our belief that the ballot language proposed for the change in the form of our city government is, at a minimum, unclear about the magnitude of the change,” the memo reads. “The language proposed does not adequately reflect the significance of the changes you are proposing, and therefore, is likely to mislead voters. While we have differences about the substance of the proposals, we certainly all agree that ballot language coming from the City should set a high standard for clarity.”

The changes Sten and Leonard are proposing aim to more clearly spell out the new, more empowered role of the mayor. For instance, in the top title—or “caption”—which reads “Amends City Charter: Changes Form of Government,” Sten and Leonard have added “increases Mayor’s authority.”

Sten and Leonard have rewritten most of the summary as well. The mayor’s version said:

Currently, the executive and legislative branches of the City’s government are combined. The Mayor and each Council member manage several departments and vote on legislation. This measure gives the Mayor executive and administrative authority over City functions and gives the Council legislative and quasi-judicial authority, including adoption of the budget, strategic plans and oversight over the management of City functions through committees, hearings and investigations. As in the current form of government, the Mayor is a voting member of Council with no veto power.

Sten and Leonard’s version:

This measure changes the form of the City’s government to consolidate executive and administrative authority with the Mayor and the Chief Administrative Officer. Currently, the City Council and the Mayor share in managing the executive, administrative, and legislative functions of the City. This measure would give the Mayor and the Chief Administrative Officer exclusive authority over executive and administrative functions, and limit the Council’s responsibility to exclusively legislative and quasi-judicial functions. As in the current form of government, the Mayor would remain a voting member of the Council.

Spot the differences? It’s largely a matter of framing. Should the ballot language spell out what the city council can do? Or should it list the ways in which city council’s power is diminished?

Interestingly, the ballot title says the changes will become effective on January 1, 2009, which is the first time I’ve seen that date attached to the changes.

Update: But don’t take my word for it. Here’s a pdf of the memo. Also, as b!x pointed out, Potter’s charter language for all four recommendations can be found here.

In case you haven’t read it yet, my Hall Monitor column this week was filed from my hometown of Fresno, CA, where I was on vacation for the week. I took the opportunity to chat about forms of government with Henry Perea, the president of Fresno’s city council, and the ways in which Fresno’s differs from Portland’s, and what the similarities are with the form of government change that will be on our May ballot.

John Doussard, the mayor’s communications director, has since pointed out that there are differences between Fresno’s form of government and the Charter Review Commission’s recommendations—a point with which I do not disagree. For the record, here are Doussard’s points:

Fresno has what’s known as a “strong Mayor” form of government, which nationally is defined by 2 main characteristics: (1) the Mayor has veto power, and (2) the Mayor appoints a City Manager without oversight of that appointment by the Council.

The Charter Review Commission recommendations contain neither of those.

Fresno’s Mayor has: (1) veto power (2) sole appointment power (3) Mayor does not serve on the Council.
CRC recommendations: (1) no veto power (2) appointments subject to approval by Council (3) Mayor serves on Council.

Alas, I never said they were the same, only that there’s a resemblance. And compared to the commission form of government, Fresno’s FOG and the review commission’s recommendations are pretty damn similar, particularly concerning the decreased role of the city council members—strictly legislative, with no authority over bureaus—which was my point.

But! Since we’re on the topic of the differences between Fresno and the review commission’s recommendations, I’d argue that most of the differences would add up to make Portland’s system even worse than Fresno.

Like, for instance, the fact that the mayor would still have one of five votes on the city council. He (or she) would be the sole executive, and would only need to pick up two votes for a majority on council. In terms of appointments, this means “council approval” is the mayor and whatever two votes he or she can pick up. Since he or she will be controlling all of the bureaus, those two votes would be easy to get in a political trade.

Also, Portland would still not be districted and the city council would stay at five members—if you’re taking power away from council members, adding districts and increasing the size of the council would at least partially balance out the system with increased representation.

Okay. Awesome. Yes.

J. K. Rowling, the author of the record-setting Harry Potter series, announced today that the seventh—and last—book in the series, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, will be published on July 21… Millions of fans around the world are fiercely anticipating this latest installment. But the end of the series, in which Ms. Rowling has hinted she may kill off one of the main characters, comes as a bittersweet finale not only for readers but also for the publishing companies, booksellers and licensees that have cashed in on the international phenomenon since it began more than nine years ago with Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. It is hard to imagine how the publishing industry will ever replace the sensation that spawned midnight parties and all-night lines to get the books the moment they went on sale. When Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, the sixth in the series, was published in July 2005, it sold 6.9 million copies in the first 24 hours.

From the Times.

Remember that photo of City Commissioner Sam Adams last week, in an ad for Bishops?

The Oregonian’s Ryan Frank got Adams on the record about it today, in the inPortland section:

Just a little off the top

Why would Commissioner Sam Adams pose shirtless in a hipster barbershop ad?

Flip over your Jan. 25 edition of the Mercury to find Adams staring out at you with his mouth agape and hands thrown up in mock defense. Don’t get me wrong, he looks just fine with a fresh haircut, no beard and 25 fewer pounds after surgery to help his sleep apnea.

Adams, who got a free haircut out of the deal, says he had to be talked into the idea. “That was the pose, don’t take my picture,” he said.

Anyone who says this guy isn’t running for mayor is getting their own hair cut a little too close… .

Tony Furtado:

Brian Libby over at Portland Architecture has the scoop on Randy Rapaport’s plans for corner at SE 28th and Burnside (aka, the Hungry Tiger).

It’s going to be called the SunRose Condominiums, and it’s going to look something like this:

Libby writes:

The project will replace the existing building there, including the Hungry Tiger restaurant. But this isn’t a case of a developer swooping in to demolish and rebuild. The owners of the Hungry Tiger, the Wong family, will retain ownership. They’ve asked Randy, an old friend, to oversee the project. Rapaport explains:

“The Wong family asked me to develop the property to a mixed-use of housing and retail. The building is named in memory of parents Sun and Rosie Wong. I have taken on this project in their honor. I lived a few blocks from the property for many years in the late 1990s and had a coffee shop, Three Friends. The Wong Family were my landlord for eight years.”

Rapaport’s previous two projects by Holst are stellar, and I was blown away when I saw an earlier rendering of the SunRose project a few months ago. The façade includes a series of white boxes that protrude from wood and metal walls. The 28th street frontage will be fairly long, but I feel this design more than succeeds in ‘breaking up the mass’, as architects put it. You never know until it’s built, but I think the SunRose could be a real icon.

Head over to his blog for more, including the “keywords” that shaped the design.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON’T FORGET. You have less than 24 hours left to submit your love-sick 30-word valentine, that will forever be enshrined in the Mercury’s Valentine Issue Spectacular (hitting the street next Wednesday night).
CLICK HERE AND WRITE SOMETHING ROMANTIC… QUICK!
Seriously, we’re shutting the gates on this puppy at noon tomorrow—so send your valentine now, or say hello to the dog house.

A day after it was pointed out, talk show host Victoria Taft has pulled a photo from her blog that was, well, out of place. And she’s offered an apology to anyone who was offended by the photo—she had “hotlinked” the image from another website, and when the owner of that site found out, he or she switched it out with a pornographic image.

Honestly, when I saw it and posted about it, I figured the photo would be up for a few minutes and then pulled down once Victoria and/or her webmaster saw the goof. And then we’d all have a laugh. But then the photo stayed up for a full day after that, and got some attention outside of this little blog, making it a bigger deal.

Here’s Victoria’s apology:

I would like to sincerely apologize to anyone who saw, shall we say, an unsavory image on my blog recently. I did not post that picture and, of course, anyone who reads the blog regularly or listens to my show on KPAM from 5-8pm knows this.

I would also like to apologize to the person whose image I used on my website. At the time I posted it I was unaware that to use the image (in this case of a political figure) in the way that I did would also use the person’s bandwidth. When made aware of this I immediately ceased doing it, but, clearly more needs to be done on my part in previous postings and I will do that.

Further, I would like the person whose image was used and who then replaced it with the obviously unsuitable other image to email or call me and I can apologize to him personally. He knows where I work and he must know my email since it’s readily available.

Whaddya say, Victoria—no hard feelings?

Because I have no shame, I also have no problem admitting that last night, I drove out to Beaverton for a reading by one Timothy Zahn, an award-winning sci-fi author who also happens to write Star Wars novels. Zahn’s actually a pretty rad writer, and his other books have won him like a Hugo and shit, but everyone—including me—was there because of Star Wars. Because that’s how I roll, yo. And that’s also how all the junior high schoolers from Beaverton and the lonely, suburbs-imprisoned middle-aged men who were there roll, too: We slide on up to the Cedar Hills Powell’s, and we ask Timothy Zahn questions about who he likes more, Han or Luke. (Han! It’s Han! EEEEEEEEE!)

But the best part of the reading was that there were stormtroopers there. Like, 12 of them. In full stormtrooper regalia. With guns, even, and with little speakers in their helmets that made their voices sound all robot-y. (“BZZZT! Excuse me, where are the bathrooms? BZZZT!”) Also present: Some dude with a beard and Jedi robes, a guy dressed up like Boba Fett, a dude dressed up like Han Solo, and some chick in an Imperial costume who had every square inch of her exposed skin painted a Smurf-y blue. The stormtroopers, et al., walked Zahn up to the podium, then stood perfectly still, fake weapons at the ready, for the entire reading, guarding Zahn while he spoke for a bit and did a Q&A. It was simultaneously really fucking dorky and really fucking awesome. I would go to so many more readings if stormtroopers were present, just keeping an eye on everybody, making sure no one got out of line.

My companion (yeah, I tricked someone else into going to this with me, and yeah, okay, it probably helped that she was drunk) took this sweet cell phone photo of a dude who cannot fucking wait to get his copy of Star Wars: Allegiance signed. Also, he’s about to be shot by three stormtroopers.

The best part, though, was this dialogue I overheard from three Powell’s employees.

GIRL EMPLOYEE ONE: Oh, oh. Oh, my god. Did you see them? All the Star Wars guys?
GIRL EMPLOYEE TWO: Ugh. Yes. I think one of them hit on me.
GIRL EMPLOYEE ONE: Really!?
GIRL EMPLOYEE TWO: So. Gross.
GUY EMPLOYEE: Oh, c’mon! How often do you get hit on by a stormtrooper?
GIRL EMPLOYEE ONE: This one time? At a con? I got hit on by Spider-Man.
GIRL EMPLOYEE TWO: No. Way.
GIRL EMPLOYEE ONE: I didn’t, like, do it with him—but if I would have, I would have made him keep the costume on!
GIRL EMPLOYEE TWO: It’d be different if it was, like, Darth Vader, you know? But a stormtrooper? Eww.
GIRL EMPLOYEE ONE: No, it’s just Darth Vader’s voice that’s sexy. And that’s just because it’s James Earl Jones.

Mayor Tom Potter was a guest on Nick Fish’s Outlook Portland this past weekend. I finally watched it last night (yay TiVo!).

Fish opened up by outlining his questions: He planned to ask about Potter’s record and what he’s accomplished over the past two years, his style of leadership, and charter review.

On the first—Potter’s record—ol’ Mr. Mayor, as usual, didn’t have much concrete to offer.

He said “it’s hard to think of just two or three” accomplishments, and said he’s worked hard to “reconnect people with their government,” and “make government more user friendly.” The closest he got to naming specifics was mentioning “charter review and the visioning process”—two projects that are no where near accomplished.

“The city has lacked a comprehensive vision for its future,” Potter explained, making the case for VisionPDX. He wants to find out “what our expectations are of each other and of our future.”

I actually liked what Potter had to say next about his style of leadership—Fish pointed out that Potter’s spent a lot more time working on relationships than he has, say, constructing buildings or monuments.

“Cities are about people. I believe the reason that building is there in the first place is to serve the needs of the people. That’s the same about bridges, about monuments,” he said. His job is “95 percent about relationships and building good relationships. The media doesn’t get that. They want to see something that’s tangible, that they can quantify. When in fact, the business of government is about people.”

Good point. That’s what I’m getting at when I argue for a “bigger and better” kind of Portland—what it really comes down to is wanting more people here, people who do the sorts of things that make Portland great (art, music, keeping it weird, etc).

Charter review and more, after the cut…

Potter also spent considerable time stumping for the charter review recommendations. Fish joked that he thinks of our current commissioner system as "the five mayor system," he said. "Looking forward two years, what would be different for Portlanders if we changed the form of government?" Potter did a decent job explaining why he thinks the strong mayor system would be good for Portland.

"First, I think Portlanders have to understand clearly what the commissioner form is. The commission form invests all three branches of government in each of the five elected council members. The only different authority the mayor has is to assign the bureaus of the city.

I think that the question for most people is why would you want to change something that works so well. I would never say that our system is broke, because we've done a lot of good things. But if you were to ask me could you make it better? Yes. I think that the commission form of government is like an ill fitting suit. You can wear it and it does what it's supposed to do. But it doesn't really meet the needs. And I think in the 21st century in Portland you need a stronger form of government.

The recommendation coming from the charter review commission is clearly to have a mayor that has some addition powers and also clarify the difference between the council's functions and the mayor's function.

The executive function currently is dispersed among five people. I believe that that leads to silos. You have to work hard to undo those silos. Even in the 30 years I spent in policing, the question I always had, is Portland as good as it is because of this form of government or in spite of it? After two years in government I can say it's in spite of it."

Potter also shot down the argument that the new system would install an "imperial mayor."

"It's a bogus argument," he said, concurring with Fish and adding that if that were the case, then the city currently has five imperial mayors. Potter pushed for the CAO portion of the charter review proposal, saying it "provides a professional manager to manage the bureaus," which is good for the bureaus, who have to endure new priorities and new systemic changes every time a bureau is handed to a new commissioner. That's "hard on bureaus, and hard on moral."

Other highlights from the half hour show that I inexplicably decided to partially transcribe: Fish asked about "the Foxworth situation," and Potter said "race was not a factor." in demoting the chief.

Fish asked the mayor to review his own performance: "If you were to put a grade down for the first two years, what would you say?"

"I'd say a B." Potter said. Unfortunately, Fish didn't ask why.

Remember the hiphop retirement home scene in CB4 (hilarious movie, btw)? It’s the scene where Chris Rock’s character envisions a future of retired emcees sitting around an old folks home, reminiscing about the good old days of hiphop. (Including a geriatric guy who looks nothing like Flava Flav, swinging a big clock around his neck, going, “Yeah boyeeeeee.”)

Well, this is pretty much what Nas has turned into—hiphop’s answer to Grumpy Old Men; an old school dude past his prime who declares that “Hiphop is Dead” just because he’s no longer relevant. But now he’s trumped himself by dropping one of the most train-wreck tracks I’ve heard in forever: Where Are they Now (90s Remix) with guest spots from all my favorite middle school rappers: Positive K, Rob Base, Das EFX, Lords Of The Underground, Chip Fu, Father MC, Monie Love, Redhead Kingpin, Dres, The Original Spinderella, EST and Mike G. Some (Monie Love, Dres) sound better than others (Rob Base, Positive K), and the beat is a bloody mess, but the result is completely fascinating (in a midget porn sort of way).

That’s right. We WON! Beating all 15 other teams in the tournament! I still can’t believe it!!! Can you?? I’d like to thank team captain, Ezra “Jewbacca” Caraeff, and our two super-strong starters Danny “The Vanilla Chinchilla” Seim, and Matthew “Fuji Bear” Sessler for leading the charge with some killer plays. Sweet passing, and raining down dunks—driving the lane, hustling with the best of em. I swear, that Blazers scout was looking pretty interested up in row 51. Ultimately, however, it was left to yours truly, the “butcher on the bench” to seal the deal. Incredible:Ps.We didn’t really win. But those ringers from Koin 6 better watch out next year, when we’ve really honed our moves…

Perhaps you heard on yesterday’s news how two guys (Peter Berdovsky and Sean Stevens) were hanging up blinking electronic signs to promote the new Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie in Boston—and caused a city-wide terrorism-fueled panic. The two were arrested, spent the night in jail, and today gave the most hilarious press conference in the history of humankind. Check out how freaking IRATE these b-hole reporters get when all the suspects want to talk about is “Famous Hairstyles of the 1970s.”
Seriously, this is the funniest a guy wearing dreadlocks has ever been.

MANACONDA
Best band name of the week!

They’re playing Saturday, February 10 at Dante’s as part of the Butt Rock Prom Night.
9:30 pm, $8, 21+

As you might already know, Pearl District mainstay Mark Woolley Gallery recently pulled up roots and moved fulltime to his new home beneath the Wonder Ballroom on NE Russell. Tonight, in would could be percieved as a (justifiable) effort to move some of the First Thursday shenanigans (drinking, bumping into art) closer to his space, Woolley has organized a limo and an unfortunately named Groove Bomb—”a former Tri-met bus that was converted into an art car complete with lounge and sound system”—to shuttle back and forth between NE Portland, Chinatown, and the Pearl, all for the price of FREE. One of the sweetest parts of the whole equation (depending on your level of excitement at drinking vodka Red Bulls on a Groove Bomb) is that there’s zero need to try to park your whip in the Pearl on the most hellish parking night of the month. You can find easy parking off MLK by Woolley’s space, hop in a limo, do the schmoozing and boozing, and get a ride right back to the Wonder Ballroom. Easy as that. The only bus rules: No puking; No dry-humping if you’re over 35; and at least feign an effort at looking at art.

All the details after the jump.

CONVENIENT AND STYLISH FIRST THURSDAY TRANSPORTATION IS NOW AVAILABLE

Monthly Free Service Between the Pearl and NE by Groove Bus and Limo

Sponsored by Russell/MLK businesses expecting you!

The Russell Shuttle consists of a classy limo AND the "Groove Bomb", a former Tri-met bus that was converted into an art car complete with lounge and sound system and has served Portland in this guise since 2005. This Thursday, February first and subsequent First Thursdays, the Groove Bomb and Limo will provide FREE shuttle service between seven businesses and five art galleries/studios in Northwest and Northeast Portland, including the Mark Woolley Gallery. For the Russell Shuttle, complimentary nonalcoholic beverages will be available. The shuttle route will begin at 6 PM at the corner of NW 9th Ave. and Couch and will proceed to the Everett Street Lofts (home of the Rake Gallery, Sugar Gallery, and Vorpal Space), returning to NW 9th, then West on Glisan, North on 12th, East on Lovejoy, then across the Broadway Bridge for the short jaunt to the Wonder Ballroom/Mark Woolley Gallery, adjacent to Cafe Wonder and the Secret Society Ballroom (former Disjecta space now renovated & conducting tours this night) and a few steps to Russell BBQ, Gold Rush Coffeebar, William Park Studio and gorgeous, upstairs Arabella Salon, which sports a rooftop garden. The shuttle then goes south on MLK to Queen of Sheba Restaurant and, and Echo Restaurant & Bar, then will return to the Pearl via Broadway to repeat this route until 10PM.

We sincerely hope you will discover the magic of this area by visiting the sponsors listed below. If you live in North or NE, or close-in SE, you can drive to Wonder, visit the businesses on Russell/MLK. then use the shuttle to go to the Pearl & back without dealing with the hassles of parking. See you soon!

In today’s New York Times Mary Cheney defends her decision to get her lezbo self knocked the fuck up. Like her father, Mary Cheney believes she shouldn’t have to answer for her party’s attacks on same-sex parents.

“When Heather and I decided to have a baby, I knew it wasn’t going to be the most popular decision,” Ms. Cheney said, referring to her partner of 15 years, Heather Poe. She then gestured to her middle—any bulge disguised by a boxy jacket—and asserted: “This is a baby. This is a blessing from God. It is not a political statement. It is not a prop to be used in a debate, on either side of a political issue. It is my child.”

Nice try, Mary.

Yes, it’s a baby, not a prop. My kid isn’t a prop either but that never stopped right-wingers from attacking me and my boyfriend over our decision to become parents. The fitness of same-sex couples to parent is very much part of the political debate thanks to the GOP and the Christian bigots that make up its lunatic “base.” You’re a Republican, Mary, you worked on both of father’s campaigns, and you kept your mouth clamped shut while Karl Rove and George Bush ran around the country attacking gay people, gay parents, and our children in 2000, 2002, 2004, and 2006. It’s a little late to declare the private choices of gays and lesbians unfit for public debate, Mary.

And so long as your party insists on making the fitness of homosexuals to marry or parent—or, hell, exist—a subject of public debate, Mary, your decision to become a parent is germane and very much fit for public discussion and debate. The GOP’s selective embrace of some pregnant dykes—only knocked-up lesbians with powerful connections will be treated with respect—is a disconnect that demands answers. From you, from your father, from your venomous mother, from the idiot president you helped elect. Is that fair? Maybe not. Want to blame someone? Go look in the mirror—and then come out swinging, Mary, for yourself, your partner, and your child.

This was a pretty good start:

Ms. Cheney noted Mr. Dobson’s distortions of the research he cited [in a piece attacking her in Time] and added: “Every piece of remotely responsible research that has been done in the last 20 years has shown there is no difference between children raised by same-sex parents and children raised by opposite-sex parents; what matters is being raised in a stable, loving environment.”

She said Mr. Dobson was entitled to his opinion, “but he’s not someone whose endorsement I have ever drastically sought.”

But what’s with the “drastically,” Mary?

Could it be this: You sought Dobson’s endorsement in the past—your father certainly has, and you worked on his campaigns—but now, to avoid tough questions, you want to qualify and minimize your past sucking up to the likes of Dobson by stating that you never sought his endorsement all that, you know, drastically or anything.

Again, Mary, nice try. You kept your mouth clamped shut when your father needed the political support of assholes like Dobson. And now that your dad is a despised lame duck VP his gay-bashing political allies feel free to treat you with the same contempt with which they have always treated other gay and lesbians. And now you cry foul?

Sorry, Mary, and fuck you. You and your whole fucked up family crawled into bed with bigots like Dobson when it suited you. And now you and your whole fucked up family have some explaining to do. So welcome to the political debate, Mary, and remember…

Your side started it. It only serves you right that you’re going to have to finish it.

And you might want to have wrapped it up before your kid is old enough to understand what’s being said about his family by your dad’s political allies. Take it from me, Mary: Explaining to your child after he heard something hateful on the radio that his family is very much “real,” that it’s not an attack on anyone else’s family, and that his parents are, in fact, fit to be his parents is as distressing and emotionally exhausting and it is unnecessary. And I blame you.

The great improv/jam/psyche out/folk out/rock/noise duo World is playing a show for the first time in forever. I’m interviewing World’s Honey Owens and Adam Forkner (they’re answering collectively) for a story in next week’s Mercury. Here’s a little preview.

What’s it like making music with the person you love? A lot of people might be scared to do this.

That’s why there’s gotta be no rules. That way there are no weird expectations and if things in our personal life need more attention than our “band,” then no one gets bent out of shape. no pressure. no pre-conceived notions of what we are. If one of us wants to take things somewhere creatively but the other isn’t feeling it as much, there isn’t a rule or expectation that we have to go along with it anyway. We can push and pull each other as we work together, and there is a nice tension to that. Or we can just wait and not play together for a while. It’s a cool feeling to know that at each moment the other person could just walk away from what’s being built together but instead they are choosing to build something together. An absolving of traditional senses of the ego. If things were pre-concieved I could see being in a band together as being harder. We try to treat everything in our relationship in this way, with this attitude of unconditional love with no rules or exceptions. It makes you conscious of each moment, that at each moment you have a choice to be doing what you want, with who you want, how you want.

Check out World at Holocene on Wed, Feb 14.

MISS USA TARA CONNER admits that being a coked-up drunk liar was ruining her life—but kissing other girls is still okay, right? RIGHT??

JOSH HARTNETT allegedly gets caught getting a “sloppy BJ” from two girls in a bar bathroom. Sorry, Josh… it still doesn’t make up for losing SCARLETT JOHANNSON. Loser.

As it turns out, SIENNA MILLER and HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN were NOT having real sex during their Factory Girl sex scenes. By the same token, you can’t really call what they were doing “acting” either.

LINDSAY LOHAN sends text message from rehab saying that all she wants is “McDonalds and sex.” And a drink… in McDonalds… while she’s having sex.

Who knew that local conservative radio talk show host Victoria Taft was a purveyor of pornography? You can click here for the evidence, but I warn you, it’s not safe for work.

Click here for a screen capture to “pop up.”

So much of this is filthy. “Moving the needle”? I’ll say. “Painting the targets in the culture war?” Yow.

Taft is very vocal about the supposed threat to America posed by illegal immigration—presumably from all the Mexican talk show hosts who will cross the border and work for $10 a day, putting her out of a job—and about local governments’ coo-coo-crazy shenanigans, but apparently girl/girl-on-guy porn is a-okay. I wonder what her boss, Robert Pamplin, who also owns the Tribune, would think.

Don’t forget! I’ll be appearing onstage at the City Club of Portland this Friday with Victoria and the Oregonian’s Jack Ohman for the Club’s Third Annual “Rant.” It looks like we now have something to talk about.

Governor Hotel
614 SW 11th Ave.
Doors open at 11:30 a.m. Program begins at 12:15 p.m.
Luncheon reservations must be made online at www.pdxcityclub.org or by calling 503-228-7231, ext. 102. Luncheon tickets are $20 ($16 for members of City Club). Coffee/tea table tickets are $5 at the door. General seating, available at the door, is $5 (free for members of City Club).

OK dudes and dudettes—everyone I know claims to “love” photography. I know I do. That being the case, this is a great month to be a photo lover, especially if you have a few spare quarters jangling in your pocket. It’s time again for Newspace’s Annual Print Auction, where you can score major, beautiful photographs so so cheaply. I was there dead poor last year and my heart broke when I saw amazing photos walking out for $75-100. We’re talking stuff that sells for an easy $500 regularly. And if you’re a rich person who accidentally stumbled onto this board, they had ±$2000 prints going for about 1/6 of that. It’s pretty amazing. This year, they have donations from Gus Van Sant, Larry Fink, Holly Andres, Michael Kennna and so many more. The show is up all month, so you can go start scheming what would look good in your kitchen, and the actual auction happens Sat Feb 24, 6-9 pm (there will presumably be absentee bidding if you can’t make it). This is definitely one of those deal-of-the-year things. Don’t be a sucker.

Paul Rich (I love this photo):

Lots of photos after the jump.

Alicia Rose:

Gus Van Sant:

Jim Lommasson:

Mariana Tres:

Stu Levy:

Annie Leibowitz was commissioned by the Walt Disney folks to take this picture of Scarlett Johansson as Cinderella. I’d hate to set off another Kirsten vs. Scarlett battle by posting this, but I found it interesting.

Check out some of the other Leibowitz/celebrity/Disney shots right here. There’s Beyonce and David Beckham and Oliver Platt (!?).

One of my favorite directors is Dr. Uwe Boll, who, not coincidentally, is the least talented director on the planet. His films are genuinely, unforgivably, infamously horrible. If you want to have a good time, check out their rankings on Rotten Tomatoes, and the vicious, amused potshots that every critic on the planet has taken at Boll: Alone in the Dark (one percent positive reviews), BloodRayne (five percent), House of the Dead (four percent).

The rumor going around is that the German Boll’s got some weird thing going on where he’s found like a loophole in some German law that enables him, somehow, to make horribly unsuccessful movies and still pull in a profit. For years he’s been buying up cheap videogame rights and then turning them into movies, whether or not anyone wants to see these movies (prints of BloodRayne were sent to theaters that didn’t even order a copy of the film, for example). Indeed, if there’s one constant in the film world, it’s that everyone hates Uwe Boll. Except for me.

The comparison to Ed Wood is kind of obvious, but goddamn—like Wood, Boll makes embarrassingly-terrible-but-still-very-entertaining movies. (My personal favorite? Alone in the Dark, which has Christian Slater and Tara Reid fighting monsters. Tara Reid, by the way, plays an anthropologist—except Reid can’t pronounce the word “anthropologist.” )

Anyway, the award-winning Boll is back! With Postal. Which looks horrible. Not horrible good, either, but flat-out horrible. (One of my favorite movies is Black Belt Jones, an unintentionally hilarious blaxploitation kung fu flick starring Jim “Dragon” Kelly. BBJ’s sequel, however, Hot Potato, was meant to be funny—and is, of course, one of the least comedic films ever made. Postal reminds me of Hot Potato.) C’mon, Uwe! Get to BloodRayne 2, and just make another godawful, earnest, totally misguided film. This comedy thing doesn’t suit you. Not when you’re trying to do it, anyway.

You’ve heard of the Horse Project. Please do not tell me this is the beginning of the Cow Project. (Spotted anchored into a newish driveway on SE 29th at Woodward.)

Edited to add:

From Donald, who found further evidence of the diverse animal kingdom invasion on SW 11th and Salmon.

Right here: todayinpdx@portlandmercury.com

The historic first meeting of Portland’s racial profiling committee passed calmly yesterday at the Emanuel Temple church on N Sumner—but future meetings are likely to get heated as the cops and community leaders look to come up with a plan to eliminate racial profiling issues in the community.You can read all about yesterday’s meeting after the jump, and whatever happens, Blog Town will have a ring-side seat at the next meeting on February 15th. In the mean time, I’m curious: There’s no doubting the commitment of those at the table, but do you think the racial profiling committee can be effective in bringing about cultural change in the police bureau? Or do you think its existence is mainly political, and that its chances of changing much in the long-term are limited?

I’m optimistic about the committee, but I’ve only been in Portland since April 2006, and I think that might play a role. So I’m keen to hear what Blog Town readers think.

Once introductions were completed and ground rules had been established, Police Chief Rosie Sizer gave the cops' perspective on racial profiling, saying that "subconscious racial stereotypes may play into some decisions—I don't think that's wholly accepted, but some do accept it." "Officers are fearful that policies we enact would imperil their ability to best serve the community," she added.

Jo Ann Bowman, Executive Director of Oregon Action, who is co-chairing the committee with Sizer, responded that the community listening sessions on racial profiling revealed "a sense of feeling abused, like there was no place for [people] to go to take their experiences of not being treated appropriately." "We also asked [those who felt they had been treated badly], did you file a complaint with the Independent Police Review? But they said no, because the IPR does not investigate complaints of racial profiling, because they do not know how to measure what it looks like in the context of a community interaction."

The committee, which will meet on the third Thursday of every month, is looking to hire a neutral facilitator to mediate its discussion and keep things on track. While it hopes to reach decisions on controversial issues, including the collection of individual officers' stop data, both co-chairs were optimistic yesterday that it can do so without coming to a standstill."I think we can come to good outcomes without drawing lines in the sand," said Sizer, while Bowman told the committee "it would be my hope that we never have to put something to a vote."

That remains to be seen. Especially given the stance of Portland Police Association head, Robert King, who was also at the meeting—having written to the mayor last week to tell him he would be attending only "to explain that we do not engage in "racial profiling," and would not do so—it would violate our oath to protect all the citizens of Portland."

For those of you buzzing over the news that walking trainwreck COURTNEY LOVE is being considered as a possible replacement for walking trainwreck PAULA ABDUL on American Idol… well, you never really believed that did you? Unfortunately, Courtney apparently bought it, and Idol producer Nigel Lythgoe spoke to US Weekly today, confirming that Ms. Love has indeed been punk’d.

“I did not call Courtney Love and am afraid someone may have misrepresented me. Courtney Love is a very talented artist, but the judges for American Idol are Paula, Randy and Simon. We have no plans to add to or replace any of them,” said Lythgoe.

NO DUH. Replacing Paula with Courtney is like replacing Pete Doherty with Kate Moss. But I have to admit, after Paula’s weirdly hyper, jaw gnashing performance last night—and sudden disappearance—can a replacement really be that far away?
Here’s one of the better, and more surprising auditions of the night, CHRIS SLIGH, with Paula having a goofball freakout at around the 2:07 mark. SO WHAT DO YOU SAY, BLOG TOWNIES? What kind of alcoholic/prescription cocktail is she on, anyway?

After a short hiatus, It’s the Jump Off is back with a three-parter about my old hometown of Houston, TX. The Houston Renaissance of a few years back was one of the most significant recent shifts in the hiphop landscape, as a city besides New York or LA was on the receiving end of a ton of national attention. Within a few years, people were tired of picking Houston over for undiscovered rappers and began snooping around the Bay Area. But once the fertile history and talent of Screwston had been unearthed, there was no putting the cat back in the bag. In the next two weeks, we’ll look at the history of hiphop there, and check out what’s going on in ‘07. Today’s show, though, is all about the guys who blew up big a few years ago—underground tracks from Chamillionaire, Paul Wall, and Mike Jones, as well as Houston mainstays Chingo Bling and Li’l Flip. Sit back and enjoy, because this one’s definitely the Jump Off.

Listen here.

A local t-shirt company—Hart Mind Soul, which “provide[s] graffiti artists with a productive outlet for expressing talent and ideas”—either has a ton of fans who love to slap stickers bearing the company’s name all over town, or HMS itself is behind the guerrilla marketing that’s blanketed Portland (and other cities) in stickers like this one:

(That’s a clip of a photo by Metroblogging Portland’s dieselboi, who posted about the stickers last summer, and wondered “if it borders on vandalism and trash.”)

Indeed, the company’s Wikipedia entry indicates the company itself is making sure its stickers get stuck everywhere.

HMS even uses illicit graffiti as part of it’s marketing campaign. HMS may even be best known for the thousands of ambiguous stickers they post throughout cities across the country. These stickers read “Protected by: HMS Security Systems” and can often be seen on doors and windows of local businesses, homes, and even light-rail trains.

The company’s webstore has a sticker category, but you can’t buy any—the page just has a message that says “They are Everywhere!” They certainly are, thanks in part to HMS fans, who love to “get HMS out there,” at least according to this comment on the company’s MySpace page.

Was up nate u fuckin rock thanks for this opertunity ur giving me with HMS no outher company whould ever do this for a skater punk kid like me i think its fucking great and i cant wait to work with u i realy am dedicated to the modeling for u i wont let u down and i need new sticker i slaped all those ones u gave me last night :) all over portland ans gresham ill get HMS out there way more than it is now. Thanks

U FUCKIN ROCK!!!

Well, it seems the city finally got fed up with the sticker proliferation, though. The mayor’s public advocate spoke with Peter at HMS, who “has agreed to remove stickers if asked by the property owner (we cannot make the request on a property owner’s behalf),” public advocate Jeremy Van Keuren wrote to Marcia Dennis, the city’s graffiti abatement coordinator. “I called Peter today and confirmed that he is still willing to do this.”

That note has been passed along to the neighborhoods, who will no doubt start ringing up HMS and asking them to make the rounds with some solvent and razor blades.

If you checked out last year’s Halleluwah festival—and I hope you did—you know how packed and intense and varied the thing was. Films, noise, psyche bands, electronic music, folk-singers, tabling; it was a festival in the truest sense of the word. Now, as another Halleluwah looms in the future, event organizers Chantelle Hylton and Mike McGonigal (of Black Bird Presents and Yeti Magazine respectively, are throwing a series of preview shows. Here McGonigal fills us in on what Plants will be doing at Miniluwah.

Because the Hallelwuah event itself mixed together different media so much with the film and art sides to it, at every Miniluwah a musician will provide the live soundtrack to a silen