After seeing the remake of The Hitcher last night, I can honestly say there isn’t a movie out there than can scare me nearly half as bad as going to a sneak preview. I sat next to this 50-something dude who was by himself. He was a heavy breather. Like a prank-caller heavy breather. Anytime that something gruesome would happen, he’d stand up and scream, “YEAAAAH!” I kept wanting to tell him to keep his bloodlust in check, but I was worried he’d knife me while I wasn’t looking. When he wasn’t cheering for more gore, he spent the rest of the movie staring at me to gauge my reaction (either to him or the movie… I couldn’t say). Meanwhile in the theater two people were yelling at each other about something or other. The cops made an appearance and some of the screaming subsided. Then there was some wiseass behind me who was making strange hillbilly/redneck jokes throughout the film. I had to go have a couple shots of whiskey after I got out of there, just to calm my nerves.

Because the film wasn’t screened for critics, here’s our web review of The Hitcher, which is opening today. Here’s the review.