January 22 is supposed to be the most depressing day of the year, but SO WHAT. I’m happy, and so should you be. Why?

1.Because Hilary Clinton is running for president.

2.Because the Blazers won last night, thanks to Brandon Roy.

3.Because there’s no need to wrap up warm in Puerto Rico, where Jessica Biel is.

4.Because normally, the James Bond Ultimate Edition box set costs like, a squillion dollars:But last Thursday, Mercury film editor, Erik Henriksen, unloaded it on me for nothing! And over the weekend, I’ve watched Goldfinger, Diamonds are Forever, and The Man with the Golden Gun, back to back! In high definition! Absolutely free!

Okay, so that last one probably isn’t a reason for you to be cheerful, but if you’re down in the dumps, why not put yourself in my shoes. There. That’s better, right? In fact, I often say to people suffering from depression, “just imagine how it feels to be me,” and they’re instantly cured. I’m thinking of marketing it, actually. Now, sing it with me: “Diamonds are foreverrrrrr, foreverrrrrr, foreverrrrr. Twirling round my little fingerrrrrrrr…”