Blogtown, PDX

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Portland “Kiss my ass, valentines haters.”

Posted by Matt Davis on Thu, Jan 25 at 10:36 AM

Hey, Blog Towners. When I asked on Tuesday for Valentine’s restaurant recommendations, I meant, “does anybody know a nice, romantic restaurant?” I did NOT, repeat NOT, ask for a bunch of pissy fucking losers to bitch about how nobody loves them. Hence, our sister paper’s I, Anonymous this week just had me waving my arms in the air, shouting, “YES, YES, YES!!!” So. Stick this extract in your Valentine-hating bottom:

Why don’t you get off your ass and show love first—instead of thinking the day is a plot against you? Why the belief that a holiday has to stop just because YOU don’t celebrate it? What, are you going to tell the world that celebrating Chinese New Year is all about making YOU feel bad because you’re not Chinese? Maybe you’re fucking single because you’re a whiny loser who thinks the WORLD REVOLVES AROUND YOU.

Right. Now, speaking of “the world revolving around YOU,” that’s wrong. It’s a simple mistake. The world revolves around ME. So if you want to send a Valentine my way, and contribute to Hallmark’s world domination (I’m a board member, I hold stock…), the address is: 605 NE 21st, Portland, OR. Normally, I get about 20. But this year, I’m shooting for at least 55. Never met me? Doesn’t matter. Get writing…

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Comments

There was still only one useful suggestion in that thread. Let's hear some more. And maybe one or two in Beaverton.

Posted by Orf | January 25, 2007 11:00 AM

Useful suggestion for people living in Beaverton: move out of Beaverton.

Posted by no one in particular | January 25, 2007 11:33 AM

Actually, Beaverton is quite nice.

Posted by Orf | January 25, 2007 11:43 AM

I hear Beaverton is the new Brooklyn.

Posted by right | January 25, 2007 12:16 PM

i missed your earlier post, but if you can get in, i'd recommend nuestra cocina. a lot of other "nice" restaurants in portland (cough, higgins, cough cough) mistake high prices for excellence.

if you find yourself low on calories and 1-hour-waitlisted at a second or third restaurtant, there's a new place on division (where laughing horse books was) called "victory" that has nice, low-key ambience. food's good. caveat is that i went the first night and it still smelled like paint, and the alcohol is strangely euro-centric. i assume they've taken care of the paint smell by now.

Posted by jami | January 25, 2007 1:17 PM

oh, the empire room is romantic and yummy, too.

Posted by jami | January 25, 2007 1:19 PM

Speaking of SE Division...The Egyptian Room has a wonderful tuna dinner special going on Valentines day! A pack of marbs and three shots of Jameson. Weird, I know.

P.S. - Marjorie Skinner will be receiving a V-Day card from me. :)

Posted by MD | January 26, 2007 2:48 AM

It isn't all about single people hating on you. YOU YOU YOU. It's about buying overpriced flowers and standing in line for a seat to have some crap flung at you by an over-worked waitress. All because you simply have to go through the motions for a corporate pirated ritual in order to show your "love". Why not surprise your SO, instead of queueing on some trivial day because Russell Stover said you should buy candy at a premium, OR ELSE. While you are at it why not ask De Beers how to say you love her. I'm sure they could think of something.

Posted by Johnny | January 27, 2007 6:58 AM

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