Because I have no shame, I also have no problem admitting that last night, I drove out to Beaverton for a reading by one Timothy Zahn, an award-winning sci-fi author who also happens to write Star Wars novels. Zahn’s actually a pretty rad writer, and his other books have won him like a Hugo and shit, but everyone—including me—was there because of Star Wars. Because that’s how I roll, yo. And that’s also how all the junior high schoolers from Beaverton and the lonely, suburbs-imprisoned middle-aged men who were there roll, too: We slide on up to the Cedar Hills Powell’s, and we ask Timothy Zahn questions about who he likes more, Han or Luke. (Han! It’s Han! EEEEEEEEE!)

But the best part of the reading was that there were stormtroopers there. Like, 12 of them. In full stormtrooper regalia. With guns, even, and with little speakers in their helmets that made their voices sound all robot-y. (“BZZZT! Excuse me, where are the bathrooms? BZZZT!”) Also present: Some dude with a beard and Jedi robes, a guy dressed up like Boba Fett, a dude dressed up like Han Solo, and some chick in an Imperial costume who had every square inch of her exposed skin painted a Smurf-y blue. The stormtroopers, et al., walked Zahn up to the podium, then stood perfectly still, fake weapons at the ready, for the entire reading, guarding Zahn while he spoke for a bit and did a Q&A. It was simultaneously really fucking dorky and really fucking awesome. I would go to so many more readings if stormtroopers were present, just keeping an eye on everybody, making sure no one got out of line.

My companion (yeah, I tricked someone else into going to this with me, and yeah, okay, it probably helped that she was drunk) took this sweet cell phone photo of a dude who cannot fucking wait to get his copy of Star Wars: Allegiance signed. Also, he’s about to be shot by three stormtroopers.

The best part, though, was this dialogue I overheard from three Powell’s employees.

GIRL EMPLOYEE ONE: Oh, oh. Oh, my god. Did you see them? All the Star Wars guys?
GIRL EMPLOYEE TWO: Ugh. Yes. I think one of them hit on me.
GIRL EMPLOYEE ONE: Really!?
GIRL EMPLOYEE TWO: So. Gross.
GUY EMPLOYEE: Oh, c’mon! How often do you get hit on by a stormtrooper?
GIRL EMPLOYEE ONE: This one time? At a con? I got hit on by Spider-Man.
GIRL EMPLOYEE TWO: No. Way.
GIRL EMPLOYEE ONE: I didn’t, like, do it with him—but if I would have, I would have made him keep the costume on!
GIRL EMPLOYEE TWO: It’d be different if it was, like, Darth Vader, you know? But a stormtrooper? Eww.
GIRL EMPLOYEE ONE: No, it’s just Darth Vader’s voice that’s sexy. And that’s just because it’s James Earl Jones.