You’re a lot like me. This whole overwhelming ANNA NICOLE coverage is kind of creeping you out, and yet is strangely fascinating. Then after getting your Anna Nicole fix, you automatically feel dirty, and try to rationalize that guilt by wondering, “Isn’t there more IMPORTANT stories the media could be covering?” Well, the answer to that is “NO.” Unfortunately, the media knows how torn you are over the subject, and will therefore keep feeding you more juicy Anna Nicole tidbits until you are cured of your sick addiction.
On behalf of “the media,” we’re sorry—but it’s the only way.
HOWEVER! I’m more than happy to include “more important” stories as well as “creepy Anna Nicole” stories (of course, once again, “more important” is highly subjective… but what are ya gonna do?).

First? “MORE IMPORTANT” NEWS
• From the AP… A “very damning” report by the Defense Department’s inspector general depicts a Pentagon that purposely manipulated intelligence in an effort to link Saddam Hussein to al-Qaida in the runup to the U.S. invasion of Iraq, says the chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee.

• From AOL News… Illinois Sen. Barack Obama, who will announce Saturday that he’s running for the Democratic presidential nomination, says the brevity of his political résumé is his “greatest strength.”

• Paris Hilton was spotted bawling like a baby while shopping— for edible underwear. Says a source for I’m Not Obsessed.com, “[Paris] was going round the shop talking to someone on the phone and crying - she kept wiping her nose with a tissue. She picked up an edible bikini set, vibrating pink tickler and some raunchy Lovehearts.”

UNIMPORTANT AND KINDA CREEPY ANNA NICOLE NEWS:

• From Breitbart.com… The husband of actress Zsa Zsa Gabor said Friday that he had a decade- long affair with Anna Nicole Smith and may be her infant daughter’s father. Wait… WHAT?!

• According to the cops, no illegal drugs were found in Anna Nicole’s room, and she did NOT choke to death on her own vomit. Good to know.

• Everybody rest easy… boxing promoter DON KING will be holding a press conference to discuss Anna Nicole’s death. And maybe to bring up the fact that so called “more important” news loses to “Anna Nicole” news by a knockout?