There was a poop-ton of great stuff on the blog this week, but the one post you should not have missed is Chas Bowie’s entry about GodTube, Christianity’s answer to YouTube. Christian clown training, terrible parody raps, etc., GodTube’s got it all.

What else might you have missed? The news team dove further down the Drug-Free Zone rabbit hole, with a report on revised racial statistics about exclusions.

Two words: Hard Gay.

Amy Jenniges did a knockout job of liveblogging the Oregon Senate vote on ending discrimination for gays and lesbians.

Steve blew the lid off the story about that stupid little brat who showed up weeping on American Idol.

Sex, Beer, And Charter Reform!

What do you get the man who has everything—including Erik Henrikthen’s heart?

Ezra created the most disturbing photoshopped image I’ve ever seen.

A new episode of 3-Minute Limit has posted. This week: weird brief robot music.

So I was talking to someone the other day about ALEC BALDWIN, and usually I have a standard quip I trot out whenever he comes up in conversation: “Alec should’ve killed himself after his performance in Glengarry Glen Ross. He will NEVER do anything better than that.” But this time? I couldn’t say it. Because I really LOVE Alec in NBC’s 30 Rock. If you haven’t caught this really funny show about the backstage shenanigans at an SNL-style show, check out this clip, and I bet you’ll be converted.

Don’t have plans for your Friday night yet? Check out Musee Mecanique at Mississippi Stuidos with Shoeshine Blue (CD release party). 10pm.

If you’re looking for something to do this weekend, consider this: Performances of the Third Floor’s sketch show Kidshow are followed each night by a performance from a different touring comedy troup. This weekend, it’s the Cody Rivers Show, and I just got a pretty enthusiastic e-mail from Ted at the Third Floor recommending their work:

This weekend, our late night guests are The Cody Rivers Show from Bellingham, Washington. They are phenomenal…really. We’ve been all over the country performing and watching sketch (often scouting for our Sketch Fest here in August), and have grown quite jaded. But every now and then we someone that shakes us from our grumpy-old-man-ness and makes us look at sketch from a different angle.

I’m not familiar with the Cody Rivers show, but Ted is a pretty hilarious guy, so if he thinks they’re funny, they probably are. Also, the Third Floor’s Kidshow is particularly awesome because Ramblin’ Rod is a featured character—the sketches are structured around a storyline of this kid who’s totally embittered because he never won the smile contest.

I never won the smile contest, but this kid did:

Thats some bullshit, right?

Anyway, show’s at the Miracle, 525 SE Stark, Third Floor at 8, Cody Rivers at 10, $10 for either show or $16 for both.

This song is remarkable mediocre, but it does point to a befuddling and vaguely repulsive contemporary phenomenon:

Remember when Hermione kept talkin’ about how she wanted to quit being… um, well, Hermione in the Harry Potter movies? Well, stop fretting, Potter dorks*. She’ll be back. Whether it was genuine reticence or a bargaining ploy for more $, Warner Bros. just sent me a press release saying she (and Harry, and Ron) will be back through film seven.

BURBANK, CA, March 23, 2007 – Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson will reprise the roles they have made their own: teen wizards Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, respectively, in Warner Bros. Pictures’ “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” and “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows,” the final two motion picture adaptations of J.K. Rowling’s best-selling book series. The announcement was made today by Jeff Robinov, President of Production, Warner Bros. Pictures.

Full release after the jump.

*The term “Potter dorks” includes, but is not limited to, the Mercury’s Chas Bowie, our resident Hermione… ah, “admirer.”

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

DANIEL RADCLIFFE, RUPERT GRINT AND EMMA WATSON
TO REPRISE ROLES IN THE FINAL TWO INSTALLMENTS
OF WARNER BROS. PICTURES’ “HARRY POTTER” FILM FRANCHISE

BURBANK, CA, March 23, 2007 – Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson will reprise the roles they have made their own: teen wizards Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, respectively, in Warner Bros. Pictures’ “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” and “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows,” the final two motion picture adaptations of J.K. Rowling’s best-selling book series. The announcement was made today by Jeff Robinov, President of Production, Warner Bros. Pictures.

In making the announcement, Robinov said, “When Daniel, Rupert and Emma were first cast as Harry, Ron and Hermione, we knew they were not only talented, but had a very special chemistry. Through the years, and in each of the ‘Harry Potter’ films, we have watched them grow into extraordinary young adults, as well as remarkable actors. It would be inconceivable to imagine anyone else in the roles with which they have become so identified, so we are thrilled and proud that Daniel, Rupert and Emma have chosen to complete the arc of their characters in the final two films.”

Both “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” and “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows” are being produced by David Heyman, who has produced all of the Harry Potter films to date and was instrumental in bringing the franchise to the screen, beginning with the first blockbuster, “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.” David Barron, who served as an executive producer on “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets” and “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire” and is a producer on the upcoming “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix,” will also be producing the final two installments of the franchise.

Producer David Heyman said, “One of the highlights of this journey has been to witness Dan, Rupert and Emma blossom from children into young adults. They have emerged as consummate professionals who are dedicated to honing their craft and striving for excellence. And yet, throughout, they have retained their enthusiasm and spirit, and they remain, to this day, the same wonderful, kind and generous individuals I met all those years ago.”

Daniel Radcliffe remarked, “Playing the role of Harry Potter has been an immense privilege, and I look forward to completing the series. I feel a huge sense of loyalty to the character of Harry and the fans who have supported these films over the years. During filming, I have learnt so much, made lots of friends and met people who have changed my life. I am indebted to J K Rowling, Warner Bros. and David Heyman for giving me this fantastic opportunity.”

Emma Watson stated, “I could never let Hermione go—she is my hero! I love her too much and love what playing her has meant to me. I am excited and honoured to be finishing what I started and playing her in all seven of the films.”

Rupert Grint offered, “Ron Weasley has become a big part of my life and not just because we’ve both got ginger hair! I’ve been so proud to play him and loved every second of being part of this world. I’m really looking forward to filming the last two films and being back with my ‘Weasley family’ and, of course, to seeing my good friends Emma and Dan. Thank you to everyone for being so supportive over the years; we couldn’t have done it without you.”

Warner Bros. Pictures’ fifth film in the series, “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix,” is slated for release in the U.S. on July 13, 2007.

Hot off the newswire, it’s a report from Erik’s friend in Boise regarding tonight’s Dead Meadow show. Turns out that the band just might have replaced their singer/guitarist with… the guy who slings the merchandise?

Huh?

Click below to have your mellow harshed…

Dude!

Just thought you should know.

If the marquee at Lloyd Cinemas is to believed, they’re gonna have an HD projector by March 30, just in time for the HD/digital 3D-friendly Meet the Robinsons. That movie looks pretty horrible, but an HD screen that’ll actually be in Portland (and not, say, out in Vancouver, etc.) is excellent, excellent news.

I realize I’m in the minority of movie buffs when I say this, but I have absolutely no qualms about the death of celluloid. Anything that presents films in better quality—and also makes it easier/cheaper to make and distribute films—is something pretty impossible not to get behind, as far as I’m concerned. Shit, it’s almost enough to make me want to go see Meet the Robinsons!

While certain shows on NPR make me want to repeatedly jab an icepick into my ear, everyone loves “This American Life” with Ira Glass. However! Staunch fans of the program hit the roof when they learned of the televised version debuting on Showtime. Well, I’m here to offer proof that there’s no need to worry. “This American Life” is just as good, if not improved, in this incarnation with brilliant cinematography and lighting augmenting the weird and wonderful stories.
Don’t have Showtime? Well, check out the first episode in its entirety HERE. (And while the first story about a family bull may sound dull at first, something happens at roughly the four-minute mark that will freak you the frak OUT.)

I love a good book (but ironically not the good book). I particularly love a book that’s on sale. So I was pretty stoked to find out the Friends of the Library Store is having a big sale on used library books. All fiction is on sale at 20% off. All recently received CDs are $5. There’s also a full cart of half price books. So I’ll see ya there, fellow book worms.

Friends of the Library Store
801 SW 10th
Tues-Sat 10 am-6 pm
Sun noon-5 pm

Supporters of the Surge Protection Brigade weren’t the only ones cheering when two grannies and a grandpa were arrested for blocking the doors to the NE Broadway Army recruitment offices. While the majority of the cheers came from supporters of those getting arrested, Don Morse, and a small group of women, were cheering for the police.

“They were way too loud this week and my home is nearby,” said Don Morse. “They have the right to protest, but I was outside trying to garden peacefully and relax, and they were disturbing my peace.”

“The main thing wrong with that comment is it shows the U.S. public has been insulated from the blood and guts off this war,” responded Bonnie Tinker, a member of Surge Protection Brigade. “Kids are blown up everyday in Iraq and for someone to make a comment like that shows a real disconnect. People are dying over there and our kids are being sent to kill them.”

One protester, 21-year-old Casey Bolthouse, went in to the recruiter’s office to see what the army recruiters had to say about him signing up with Uncle Sam.
“They mostly just talked about money,” said Bolthouse. “They never once mentioned dying, fighting an unjust war or killing innocent people.”

(Oh course they didn’t Casey, just like they didn’t tell me that being the unpaid intern at The Mercury meant sharing an office with the kitchen and all of its burnt and or molding food; I won't even mention the rank trash container. These details aren’t the best ways of recruiting people to work undesirable jobs; at least they offered you money. By the way, how much? Do you have their number?)

This was the eighth time the recruiter’s doors were blockaded by rocking chairs and its windows covered in signs linking the recruiters to terrorism.

“We have to keep doing this,” said Pat Schwiebert, a granny who was taken to the pen last week. “Washington is not going to do it on their own. We have to send the message that we want this war stopped now, not 18 months from now, not when we get a new president, now! There has been enough killing, too much killing. We started it, or allowed it to start, and we have to stop it.”

Schwiebert, who’s young grandson hung from her shoulders, added, “This is my grandson, I don’t want him fight this war. He’s already going to have enough problems to deal with, like global warming.”

I agree with Schwiebert, since her grandson, who looked to be six or seven, will be paying for the war, I don’t think he should have to fight in it.

As far as war, Randy Thompson, who came to show his support for the troops, had plenty to say; much of which didn’t sit well with the grannies.

“We got young men fighting for our country over there and we need to support them,” said Thompson, a Vietnam Vet. “Don’t disrespect them, help them.”

When asked if he viewed the grannies actions as disrespecting the war, Thompson replied, “yeah it is. Fifty-eight thousand soldiers died in Vietnam, 3,000 have died in Iraq. You’re helpin’ people that hate you all. Those people in Iraq hate you cause you’re American, they hate you cause you’re free; I don’t understand that. These people (the grannies) are hurting the morale, it’s killing us.”

When the grannies explained they weren’t against the soldiers, but against the politicians and the war, claiming, “its not a good war,” Thompson replied, “What is a good war? We’ve had wars for centuries, before Christ, after Christ, World War One, World War two… We’re gonna have another war after this one, and another one, and another one.”
“And we’ll be here opposing those wars too,” responded a granny.

Losing a loved one is tough. So while on his mid-season bereavement leave, Blazers star Zach Randolph (according to this article) decided to mourn his loss at a bar.

A strip bar.

And he didn’t pay his tab.

You stay classy, big guy.

We sent the unpaid intern to hang out with some “seriously pissed off grannies,” who are protesting the war.

The Surge Protection Brigade will be shutting down the recruiting center at NE Broadway and 13th tomorrow morning beginning at 10 am. Bring your own rocking chair and rock for peace with the seriously pissed off grannies. Stay for an hour or stay for the day. We will be there to make sure no more children are recruited for Bush’s lies.

Expect a full report from Dan when he returns.

It’s Friday, and we all know what that means. Don’t let yourself get this drunk, and definitely don’t try to climb any trees. This is both adorable and pathetic, but don’t cry animal cruelty, cuz this squirrel got wasted his own damn self:

Calling all R. Kelly fans! Check out this hilarious parody of “Trapped in the Closet” by Weird Al Yankovic entitled “Trapped in the Drive-Thru.” It may be 11 minutes of every mundane relationship you’ve ever been in, but holy crap, Weird Al has done it again!

Trapped In The Drive-Thru

Add to My Profile | More Videos

More comic book rudeness here…

As I mentioned earlier in the week, the voters pamphlet arguments for and against the charter reform measures were published this morning.

Head on over to the Multnomah County Elections site, and look all the way at the bottom. For a sneak peak at the argument co-filed by Dave Lister and Amanda Fritz, though, head over to Amanda’s blog.

The guy behind the inflammatory “Vote Different” ad (see below) has finally stepped into the light and has a few words for the American people.

Truth or massive rhetoric? You decide.

Our music editor, Ezra Ace Caraeff, has a brand new music podcast show called Easier Than Reading! Each week, Ezra will feature a song or two from the bands we cover the music section of the Mercury, so you can hear the bands and decide if you want to go see them play live. His debut episode was posted yesterday on our pod-n-vod page, so go check it out. If you dig it, be sure to tune in every Thursday for a new episode.

This is why Burroughs outlived Bukowski.

There’s plenty of reason for high-fiving (even some mild knuckle-bumping), as The Blazers beat up the New York Knicks last night, 92-86.

This “must win” game for The Knicks went terribly awry against a Blazers team that is still missing leading scorer Zach Randolph, who remains on bereavement leave. A delighted Paul Allen (sitting next to his very attractive girlfriend and the not-so-attractive Dan Aykroyd) watched as Brandon Roy scored 24 points and Jamal Magloire didn’t embarrass himself. The team (and possibly Randolph) travels to Hotlanta to play the Hawks tonight.

Fifteen British naval officers were seized by Iranian forces this morning, after they boarded an Iranian ship for a “routine” inspection.

Nearly 100 pet owners have already joined a class action suit against Menu Foods, the company responsible for distributing contaminated cat and dog food.

Some British drug experts pushing for a reclassification of recreational drugs in Britain released a new report ranking drugs in terms of the social and personal harm they cause (and taking addictiveness into account): alcohol was fifth on the list, with cannabis, LSD, and ecstasy ranking 11th, 14th, and 18th, respectively.

A recent survey by the Pew Research Center for the People & the Press found a dramatic shift in political party identification since 2002, with significantly more respondants identifying with the Democratic Party. Meanwhile today the house is scheduled to vote on a measure that would set a deadline for the withdrawl of troops from Iraq.

Judy Giuliani revealed to have had a“secret first marriage”—making that a grand total of sixmarriages between Rudy and Judy combined.

Another Mel Gibson meltdown : When a Mayan woman called the depiction of Mayan culture in the movie Apocalypto racist, a furious (and undeniably racist) Gibson told her to to fuck off.

The old Burger King at Burnside and Broadway could soon be a day access center for the homeless-after the mayor’s office was asked by the Street Access For Everyone (SAFE) oversight committee yesterday to look into leasing the property.OLD BURGER KING: HOMELESS DAY ACCESS CENTER?

The SAFE oversight committee has been charged with deciding when, exactly, Portland has enough benches, restrooms and shelter beds to be able to make it illegal to sit or lie on the sidewalk, but it still urgently needs more beds for a day access center. Hence the Burger King suggestion.

Meanwhile, Street Roots director Israel Bayer has been scanning the country for creative alternatives to such an ordinance. He’s found one possible answer in San Diego, which has instituted a homeless court to deal with misdemeanors among homeless folks. Bayer asks why Portland cannot find similar innovative alternative solutions when working with people on the streets. Perhaps he’s yet to hear about the Burger King idea…

The good news: Portland’s getting a new IMAX theater—and this one, unlike the one at OMSI, is going to have 3D capabilities. Sweet, right? Right! The bad news? Well, it’s not really in Portland. That was a lie. It’s in McMinnville, an hour away from here, at the Evergreen Aviation Museum, a place you will never, ever go in your entire life.

Anyway, the theater opens today, and is playing Magnificent Desolation: Walking on the Moon, Cirque Du Soleil: Journey of Man, and Fighter Pilot: Operation Red Flag. Showtimes—for both this week and in the future—can be found here.

Could be cool, yeah—but as of now, the stuff there looks a lot like the “OPB… BUT BIGGER!” type of docs that OMSI plays. If they were to line up some of the big summer blockbusters that’re getting the IMAX treatment—300, Spider-Man 3, Harry Potter—maybe they’d have some luck drawing Portlanders out there, but as of now, I don’t really see that happening.

Full press release after the jump.

The IMAX Experience® Coming to Evergreen Aviation Museum

The Ultimate Moviegoing Experience to Debut in McMinnville, Ore. on Mar. 23

MCMINNVILLE, Ore – Fri., Mar. 23, 2007— For the first time ever, moviegoers in Oregon will be able to experience 3D movies in the most powerful and unique way possible: The IMAX® Experience. The Evergreen IMAX® Theater is scheduled to open Fri., Mar. 23, 2007 in coordination with a series of Spring Break festivities at the home of the famous Spruce Goose, the Evergreen Aviation Museum.

The long-awaited Evergreen IMAX Theater, one of the largest movie screens in the Pacific Northwest, will showcase educational and entertaining documentaries as well as Hollywood blockbusters converted into the unparalleled image and sound quality of the IMAX Experience®, offering visitors a moviegoing experience unlike any they’ve had before.

The Evergreen IMAX Theater utilizes IMAX’s 15/70 film format – ten times larger than conventional 35mm film – and delivers the clearest, brightest and steadiest images in the world. At the new Evergreen IMAX theater, these breathtaking, larger than life images will be projected onto a specially designed screen that stretches beyond the audience’s peripheral view. The images are complemented by IMAX’s state-of-the-art digital surround sound system.

The Evergreen IMAX theater will be the first to offer The IMAX 3D Experience® in Oregon. In IMAX® 3D, images virtually jump off of the screen and float around the theater, giving people the sensation they are IN the movie. This is made possible by a combination of IMAX’s powerful 3D projector – which projects images onto the theater’s specially designed IMAX 3D screen – and the comfortable polarized IMAX 3D glasses that audience members wear to get the three-dimensional effect. The result is an amazing immersive cinematic experience where the screen disappears and the film becomes a virtual reality.

In addition to Hollywood movies in IMAX’s format, there are also more than 200 traditional documentary-style films in the large format library. IMAX films are known for their ability to take people to places they otherwise couldn’t go – to the top of Mt. Everest, aboard the International Space Station and to the ocean depths – and both for their entertainment and educational value.

"The Evergreen Aviation Museum is thrilled to offer this state-of-the-art theater,” said Phil Jaeger, Director of Operations. “The new facility is the only 3D IMAX theater in Oregon and is five times larger than a conventional movie screen, it offers a 12,000 watt digital surround sound system and the lobby features 10 miles of old growth fir. It will be an amazing experience for viewers of all ages.”

The Evergreen IMAX Theater will open with three feature presentations: “Magnificent Desolation: Walking on the Moon”, “Cirque Du Soleil: Journey of Man”, and “Fighter Pilot: Operation Red Flag”. The theater’s hours from March through May are: Sunday –Thursday 10:30 a.m. -5 p.m. Friday and Saturday: 10:30 a.m. – 8 p.m. Each movie is approximately one hour.

Combo prices to visit the museum and the IMAX theater are: $18/adult (ages 18-65),$16/senior (ages 65+), $14/youth (ages 3-18). Prices for just the IMAX theater are: $10/adult, $9/senior (ages 65+), $8/youth (ages 3-18). Museum members receive $1 off the movie ticket price.

More late night bloggin’ featuring videos that aren’t so safe for work! Actually, what’s great about this video is that it’s perfectly safe for the office — and yet you can still masturbate to it! It’s an advertisement for the Japanese candy stick PRETZ, performed by a super cute J-pop girl in a pleated skirt. Here are the lyrics if you’d like to sing along…

Pleats in my Skirt and a Pretz in Machine/ Muuu!/ Pleats in my Skirt and a Pretz in Machine/ Oooh!/ Pleats in my Skirt and a Pretz in Machine/ WOW!/Papipupepipopapopupupi-pu!/ Papipupepipopapopupupi-pu!

You may now commence masturbation.

Thank you so much TV in Japan!

While LA Fashion Week is certainly not a “first-tier” event, as they say, and includes some uncomfortable moments, like a runway show for Bebe, shopping destination of mall sluts across America, they do have a certain flair for theatrics—no surprise there. Check out the models walking for Joseph Domingo. They’re made to look like they have no eyes. Cool.

Okay, so about ten minutes ago, our resident sci-fi expert Erik Henriksen came running into my office yelling, “Thteve! Thteve! It’th Jameth T. Kirk’th birthday today, which meanth I have to run out to the comic book thop and buy a thuper thpethial birthday prethent for him! Can you blog about thith?”
Sure Erik… no problem.
According to starfleetlibrary.com, today we celebrate the future birthday of the captain of the Enterprise, JAMES TIBERIUS KIRK (b. March 22, 2233).
Congratulations Captain, and when you’re finally born? Live long and prothper… I mean, “prosper.”

Only one of the many “TOYS THAT SHOULD NOT EXIST.” Here’s another.

Check out the rest of the list here!
Hat tips to Gorilla Mask!

I used to be tough, and ride my bike all year round, but the last couple years I’ve said no to riding in the rain—not just because it sucks and seriously cramps my style (soaks my hair and clothes, gets in my eyes and makes my mascara run, rendering me partially blind, etc, etc), but also because it’s just more dangerous, and I’d rather leave a little earlier and walk (with boots and an umbrella) or take the bus. (I’ll start being tough again after I get my Nau gear.) But man this springtime weather is glorious! I had to screen a film in Northwest this afternoon, so after restoring the air lost in my tires after sitting so long unused, I rode my bike through the beautiful city on this beautiful day. I almost forgot how dangerous it is! I know Portland’s very high up in terms of being a bike-friendly place to live, and I’m thankful for that, but in the interest of reminding people a few basic things that—jesus christ—apparently aren’t as clear as the broad daylight skies I was just riding in, why is it people have such a hard time? Do all of you realize what is wrong with the following action, which occured no less than four times on my ride today?:

Trying to be “nice” by stopping—by choice, without a stop sign or signal—to let you cross a one-way, two-lane street in front of them?

Sorry to sound like a garden variety I, Anonymous, but apparently people still do not get it. Also, to the city of Portland: The potholes on W Burnside are so severe that cyclists basically have the choice to swing dangerously far into the lane to avoid them, or let their tires get stuck in their deep canyons and flip over our handlebars. They have been like this for years. Please fix them before I die. Thanks.

Cops in NE and Downtown Portland will be holding parents responsible for their kids’ curfew violations, starting this Spring Break, as part of an effort to respond to community concerns about large groups of youth marauding around.

The pilot project will use an existing Oregon law on “Failure To Supervise A Child” (that’s ORS 163.577) to bring parents of curfew-breakers under 15 into juvenile court and cite them for their child’s curfew-break. The pilot project will also focus on meeting with the families before their court hearing to channel them into a federally sponsored G.R.E.A.T Families program, which aims to reduce gang involvement among youth.

But some activists are concerned that the pilot project will target African American youth disproportionately, because it is being tried in NE and Downtown Portland, and not, for example, in the West Hills.

“I’m really concerned about this pilot,” said Jo Ann Bowman, the co-chair of the mayor’s racial profiling committee at its meeting last week. “I think it could exacerbate this problem that we are trying to solve.”

Bowman says she will go on ride-alongs to ensure the new measures are being used fairly. Police Chief Rosie Sizer told the committee she feels the measures are responding to community concerns.

“I’m sure we will be able to recover the information on which parents are being cited because of the pilot,” she said. “But honestly, I do not want to do more harm than good.”

What do you think? The curfew hours are 10pm for those under 14, and midnight for 15 year-olds.

The guy at Ask-Steve.com has a great post up about the parking lot at SE 12th and Hawthorne (next to Tiny’s coffee, and kitty corner from Burgerville).

The parking lot on the corner of SE 12th & Hawthorne next to Tiny’s used to be open to the public. It seemed to be used primarily by Tiny’s Coffee patrons and commuters using it as a park and ride. The only sign on the property was for Burgerville, which sits across the intersection, so I assume they either owned it or were paying to have the sign there. Well, there’s a new parking profiteer in town and that’s all changed—very much for the worse….

This guy has managed to take this lot from a great community resource to a trashy eyesore and insult in a matter of weeks. Where was the neighborhood association through all this?!?!

Check out Steve’s blog for all the sordid parking details.

Here’s a bunch of random shit that gets my geek juices flowing—and thanks to that phrase, this is probably the grossest sentence I’ve ever written. Anyway:

• 28 Weeks Later gets a poster. (Um, above.)

• Grindhouse is officially rated R, despite rumors it was gonna be NC-17.

• The best show on TV, Battlestar Galactica, gets more episodes.

• A pretty kickass trailer for Day Watch, the sequel to the bewildering and/or awesome Night Watch, is out. It’s cool-looking. It also seems to be about a piece of chalk. How bewildering. And… awesome? (Ah, no. Just bewildering.)

• Kotaku has an interesting feature up about how the god-awful flick Reign Over Me prominently features the PS2 game Shadow of the Colossus. Awesome game. The movie makes me want to slash my wrists with the nearest even vaguely sharp instrument.

• Bryan Singer is teaming up with Tom Cruise for a movie about killin’ Hitler.

• Newsrama wonders if Harry Potter’s gonna venture into comic books, since the final book’s coming out on July 21.

• The Buffy the Vampire Slayer comic is excellent. Read it.

After the reaming I took yesterday, I’m a little tentative to blog about music here. So instead of my recommendations, here is a little rundown of what is in this week’s paper:

Rob Simonsen chats about his desire to have little babies and listen to Lilly Allen. Ugh, gross.
MP3: Lilly Allen - “Smile”

I talk about the slow burning soul of Maria Taylor. Than again, my taste in music sure does suck.
MP3: Maria Taylor - “A Good Start”

Chas doesn’t love the new Willy Mason, but doesn’t really hate it either. That my friends, is what we call a quandry.
MP3: Willy Mason - “When The River Moves On”

Know who loves Page France more than Jesus? Sean Moeller does. He writes about their “Moral Dilemma” this week.
MP3: Page France - “Wet Dog Afternoon”

Despite his beard and willingness to score Hugh Grant movies, Jim Withington is totally not down with the new Badly Drawn Boy record.
MP3: Badly Drawn Boy - Thunder Road (Bruce Springsteen cover!)

Sean Moeller again? And writing about the MySpace rap of Gym Class Hereos? What is this paper coming to?
MP3: Gym Class Heroes - “Papercuts”

Every so often, Powell’s lines up these ’60s nostalgist authors who have written books about following the Dead around, or what Haight-Ashbury was really like in ‘69. But none of them have the credibility of Joe Boyd:

•When Muddy Waters came to London at the start of the 1960s, a kid from Boston called Joe Boyd was his tour manager
•when Dylan went electric at the Newport Festival, Joe Boyd was plugging in his guitar
•when the summer of love got going, Joe Boyd was running UFO, the coolest club in London
•when a bunch of club regulars called Pink Floyd recorded their first single, Joe Boyd was the producer
•when a young songwriter named Nick Drake wanted to give his demo tape to someone, he chose Joe Boyd

If that pedigree impresses or interests you, think about heading down to Powell’s on Hawthorne (3723 SE Hawthorne) tonight at 7:30 to hear him read from his new book, White Bicycles.

Ha ha, okay—the sex part is up to you. But we’re positive that after a steaming hot debate about the future of Portland’s government, you’re going to have an awful difficult time keeping your pants on.

Join the Mercury, the Bus Project (who we’re absolutely thrilled to be partnering with), experts from both sides of the charter reform ballot measures, and an audience filled with various rabblerousers, headline-makers, and politically involved citizens to get all the information you could possibly need to make up your mind about how to vote this May 15. You don’t want to get your ballot in the mail and realize you have no idea what you’re voting on, do you? Didn’t think so.

Plus, beer!

Wednesday, April 4
7pm
ACME
1305 SE 8th

Calvert G. DeForest, the dweebish man who gained cult status on David Letterman’s late-night shows as the comic figure Larry (Bud) Melman precisely because he was not funny, died Monday in Babylon, Long Island. He was 85.

Steve mentioned DeForest’s death yesterday, but I just found out. This is really depressing news. I’m not sure why, but it is. Full story here. Awesome clip of Melman below.

As I clearly and correctly predicted yesterday, both SANJAYA and his equally worthless co-contestant HALEY were SAVED from last night’s American Idol elimination (Sanjaya because of “crying girl,” Haley because of shaking her bra-less cans). The undeserving STEPHANIE was given the boot while the pretty freaking talented CHRIS ended up in the bottom two. “WHY IS THIS HAPPENING??” America is crying out. There are currently four theories:
1) Hillbillies! I know I blame them for much of the world’s woes, but only because they are.
2) Howard Stern is telling people to vote to keep Sanjaya in.
3) Votefortheworst.com is telling people to vote to keep Sanjaya in.
And 4) People want to see “J” starve herself to death.
As previously reported on Blog Town, “J” built a MySpace page last week to announce to the world that she was going on a hunger strike until Sanjaya is voted off. Apparently she didn’t think she’d have to wait very long, but… surprise! Now she’s going to go at least one more week before her next Big Mac. Check out her video, and answer the morally beguiling question for yourself: Is it WRONG that we want this person to die of starvation?

Former Libertine, and fulltime heroin receptacle, Pete Doherty has decided to bare it all for a French magazine. It’s a little NSFW, but not too racey. Click below for the full the pic in all it’s pube-y glory.

(hope that’s not Iams)

Happy World Water Day, Blog Town! Enjoy the world water supply while it lasts!

The news of the day is definitely John Edwards’ surprising announcement that though his wife’s cancer has returned, he will continue his campaign for the Democratic presidental nomination.

A federal judge ruled that the 1998 Child Online Protection Act is unconstitutional—penalizing purveyors of “harmful content” is too restrictive of free speech.

I missed this a few days ago, and it’s worth noting: Canada actually cares about the health of its female population, announcing that they’ll drop 300 mil to to fund HPV vaccininations.

It sucks to be ugly if you’re being tried by a jury; and it sucks to be blonde if you’re engaged in Middle East diplomacy (at least according to the Japanese, who are apparently the most insensitive people on the planet: note a reference to a health minister calling women “birth-giving machines”).

A “lorry” containing “£70,000” of Cadbury Eggs was stolen in Staffordshire yesterday… Matt? How many Cadbury Eggs is that?

When I was in grade school, every year we released balloons to commemorate Earth Day. That seems pretty fucked up in retrospect, and if the Senate agrees with yesterday’s House vote to treat balloon releases as littering, would soon be punishable by a $250 per balloon fine.

And that’s all the news that’s fit to print, folks. Happy Thursday.

This just in from Chapel Hill, North Carolina—Senator John Edwards’ wife Elizabeth has cancer again, but he’ll be continuing his presidential campaign. (When Edwards announced this morning’s press conference, there was speculation that he might be dropping out.)

Speaking from the spot where the two had their wedding reception, John explained that Elizabeth had pain on her left side earlier this week; Doctors have determined that her cancer has returned.

“Her cancer is back, it’s largely confined in bone, which is a good thing,” John says. Previously, Elizabeth fought breast cancer. “It’s no longer curable, but it’s completely treatable.”

“I intend to do the same thing I’ve always done—we will be in this every step of the way together,” he added. But she’s feeling well, and he’ll continue campaigning for the Democratic nomination for president.

I’ve been looking forward to checking out one of Simpatica’s supper club-style dinners; Now that I’m eating meat, I can actually enjoy one of their set menus (which are usually heavy on the meat and fish/seafood).

Like the one for this Saturday:

Your Kitchen Garden’s Lambs Tongue Lettuces with Vanilla-Braised Rhubarb and Rabbit Rillettes

Manilla Clam Bisque

Porchetta - Boneless Carlton Farms’ Pork Loin Wrapped in Carlton Farms’ Pork Belly, Braised and Served with Cast-Iron Baked Beans and Honey-Glazed Carrots

Lemon-Curd Tuille Canolis

I’m not a big seafood fan, so I might pass on the bisque. But given the supper club-style dining—where there’s a set menu, and everyone eats the same thing—I wouldn’t have the nerve to request something special. Turns out others in PDX do have that nerve. From Simpatica’s latest newsletter, a clarification for Portland’s vegans, vegetarians, and fussy eaters:

We’ve been having some issues recently regarding specialty dietary requests, and I just wanted to talk about them a little bit and set some guidelines.

First of all, we are dedicated to providing an enjoyable dining experience to all of our guests, and try to facilitate everyone’s needs; however, because we do one menu for everyone, it is really difficult to satisfy everyone who wants something different, whether they are vegetarian, ovo-lacto vegetarian, fishatarian, vegan, wheat-free, macrobiotic or just plain don’t like to eat their vegetables. Here’s the new rules; if you follow them, everyone can be happy. If you don’t like them, then maybe we’re not the place for you (I realize we’re not the place for everyone).

We cook what we cook out of a passion for that food. Luckily, enough people seem to like what we do. But that’s what we do. We’re not a restaurant, we’re a supper club. So here’s the rules. If you have special dietary needs, you must let us know at least 24 hours in advance. We will provide either the menu as listed, or a vegetarian alternative. We will not cook a vegan menu, and we will not cook a special dish for you just because you don’t like a certain ingredients (mushrooms seems to be a particular dislike… but we love them so too bad). I hope I’m not being too harsh, but we’ve had way too many people walking in and saying they want a completely different menu, giving us no forewarning and really not coming for the food we do. Thank you, I hope we can all still be friends.

Frankly, I was surprised they’ve got a veggie option if you call ahead, and I think that’s more than generous of them.

I just finished a conversation about Portland being scary. But rather in my book, it’s one of the eeriest places, especially when you explore some of the City’s older, more historic landmarks. For example:

-The US Customs building on the North Park blocks: Nobody ever comes or goes.
-The mausoleum at Oaks Bottom wildlife reserve: Lots of dead people. Say no more.
-All the city’s reservoirs: We all drink the same water. If that isn’t eery I don’t know what is.
-That disused bowling alley on SE Morrison: Eer factor nine.

I know the reasons for these places being eery don’t all make perfect sense, but I guess that’s the point of eeriness, it’s subjective. So, Blog Town readers…where else is eery in Portland? I’m hungry for more…

As blabbed about here yesterday, ADAM SANDLER guest-hosted “Late Show with David Letterman” last night after Dave came down with the stomach flu. By most accounts Adam was actually funny (phew!), and to prove it, here’s a touching duet with guest DON CHEADLE in which the twosome express how they feel for each other using the medium of “song.” (That disinterested mutt on the couch? That’s Sandler’s dog “Matza Ball.”)

(Also… R.I.P. Calvert DeForest, AKA LARRY “BUD” MELMAN.)

…to oppose him.

Critics have taken aim at many aspects of the mayor’s “strong mayor” ballot measure effort, claiming that the way it was rushed through council—and then on to the ballot—has left little room for meaningful discussion about the future of the city’s government. As many have said since earlier this year, the only input citizens can now give is a “yes” or “no” vote.

But the hurried process has scored one victory, by bringing together local politicos who otherwise agree on very little—former city council candidates Amanda Fritz and Dave Lister.

The unlikely pair is teaming up on a voters pamphlet argument, which will be published this Friday. The general theme: “We don’t agree on much, but we do agree that this thing stinks.”

Incidentally, the libertarian-leaning Lister also finds himself in the company of Commissioner Erik Sten, who he tried to unseat last year, and transportation activist Chris Smith, who lobbies for the kind of big public transportation projects that make most of Lister’s normal political allies shudder.

Strange bedfellows, indeed.

Oh, and 2008 could very well see Lister and Fritz back on opposite sides. If there’s an open council seat, there’s a good chance both could run. Speaking of! Have any suggestions of who else should run for city council? Or mayor? It’s never too early to get those names out there, and then start bugging them to throw their hat in the ring. Where better to begin than Blog Town?

I know everyone thinks I’m an animal hating fur monger, but I’m not. If you don’t believe me, that’s just tough shit I guess. My kitties know the truth.

With that out of the way, I’d like to commend Buffalo Exchange for doing their part to make sure that purchasers of fur items know exactly what they’re buying:

TUCSON, AZ-Through its association with The Humane Society of the United States (HSUS) www.hsus.org, Buffalo Exchange www.buffaloexchange.com announces its official endorsement of The Dog and Cat Fur Prohibition Enforcement Act, H.R. 891, http://www.hsus.org/furfree/news/ fur_labeling_bill_introduced.html a bill introduced on Feb 7, 2007. H.R. 891 aims to strengthen the current law and protect consumers and animals by outlawing the import of fur from raccoon dogs and requiring all garments trimmed with fur to be labeled, regardless of value. Invited by The HSUS, Buffalo Exchange officially endorsed H.R. 891 on Mar 5, 2007, joining Models with Conscience and Project Runway winner and fashion designer Jay McCarroll. An investigation by The HSUS showed that items made with fur trim from domestic dogs and raccoon dogs are often mislabeled as “faux,” labeled as another species, or not labeled at all. It is illegal under the Dog and Cat Fur Prohibition Act to import, export, sell or advertise any domestic dog fur in the United States. Fur from other animals must be identified with a label, but only if the value of the fur exceeds $150. Now through Earth Day on Sunday, Apr 22, 2007, Buffalo Exchange stores are asking customers to sign petitions in support of The Dog and Cat Fur Prohibition Enforcement Act. (Ask your representative in Congress for truth in fur labeling online at https://community.hsus.org/campaign/ FED_2007_fur_labeling.)

Only the quickest of you will have seen my column, Sold Out, which just rolled off the printer today (it’s not even up on our web site yet), but in it I discuss Nau, this rad new outdoor wear Portland company that not only works in modern, minimalist shapes and colors that are as acceptable at Holocene’s happy hour as they are at Oak’s Bottom, but also embrace ideals popular in Portland (sustainability, social responsibility, etc). Sounds great, right? Well, as I was working on the column, the opening of their first store (which is truly an innovation in the shopping experience, the details you can read about in print) was pushed back a week, then a few days, and now, due to some kind of construction issue, Ian from Nau just called to say that the store opening is pushed back again, probably to the first part of April. The good news is that you can order the line online now, but hold off on running to Bridgeport Village to meet the clothes in person just yet. In the meantime, check out my favorite piece:

Not only is this jacket super cute, it has all sorts of practicalities I need as a bike/pedestrian commuter: it’s waterproof, lined with moisture managing mesh, has a hood, and under that cute trail of buttons down the torso, there’s a waterproof zipper. You generally won’t catch me dead in “outdoor gear,” but I am really coveting this. And not being one to shop for clothes online, I’ll wait for the store to open, even if that means I have to wait just a little longer.

My goal today was to write 350 words on emo gods Brand New.
I wrote 2300 words, and am nowhere near finished.

So as I stumble down this rabbit hole of emo, I am taking you all with me. Even if you think emo kids solely exist to be punched in the neck, I dare you to not like this song.

Jesus Christ

I don’t care if I am doomed to bond with fat 14-year-old kids about this outside of this store, Brand New is undeniably good.

There she is, America! Your newest superstar, AKA “the crying girl,” that we now know to be 13-year-old ASHLEY FERL—the pubescent who was reduced to uncontrollable blubbering last night while watching the god-awful SANJAYA murder yet another song on American Idol. Check the video out HERE, if you haven’t already, it’s a goddam HOOT. Anyway, screw the rest of those Idol losers—because after her soaking wet performance last night, America really only wants to worship Ashley! Happily, the L.A. Times has the story on how she got there in the first place. Says the reporter…

For some long minutes after the show, Ashley remained in a state of inconsolable sobbing, unable to choke out a single word. However, through an interpreter (her mother) we were eventually able to learn some facts about the young superstar.

The family, I was told, obtained tickets on a website to attend a taping of “Smarter Than a 5th Grader” … The fates were kind, and the mother and daughter found their way to the “Idol” rehearsal, where Ashley’s waterworks began. Her prowess was quickly brought to the attention of “Idol” producers who summoned the clan to a ringside seat of honor at the final taping.

So apparently, this means she’s available for hire? That’s it. I’m paying Ashley to sit in the front row the next time I karaoke to Lionel Richie’s “Hello.” Tears? She’s going to have to bring an extra change of clothes!

Goddamn it. A remake and/or prequel to Escape from New York? Christ. (Wasn’t Escape from L.A. bad enough?) (They’re already messing w/ another great Russell/Carpenter team-up, The Thing, which sucks, but if they touch Big Trouble in Little China I’m gonna… I’m gonna… well, I’m gonna be upset. Really upset.)

What’s going down around town tonight, you ask? How about… you rockin’!
* East Chinatown Lounge–DJ Atom13, 10 pm
* Dunes–Make it Work: Fierce Perm, DJ Joee Irwin, DJ Girlfriends, 9 pm
* Hawthorne Theatre–Red Sparowes, Saviours, William Elliot Whitmore, 9 pm, $10, all ages
* Roseland–Anti Flag, Alexisonfire, Big D & The Kids Table, Set Your Goals, 7:30 pm, $15, all ages
* Rotture–The Dickel Brothers, Cameron Hull, Oz Street Fossils, 8 pm, $5
* Satyricon–The Heirs of Eiffel Tower, The Master Plan, Jon Garcia, Deb, 7 pm, $7, all ages
* Someday Lounge–Lair of the Minotaur, Book of Black Earth, Guyve, 9:30 pm, $7
* Valentine’s–Ghosting, Mark Kaylor, 9 pm, free
* White Eagle–Quaker Gun, Alan Singley & Pants Machine, Jared Mees, 8:30 pm, free
* Wonder Ballroom–Roberty Pinsky, 8 pm, $10, all ages

(12:08) Time to vote: SB2 passes 21-7! Bryan Boyd of Basic Rights Oregon was elated to point out that they picked up votes over last session.

By my notes (it went fast), Senators Beyer, Starr, Ferrioli, Gary George, Larry George, Kruse, Starr, and Whitsett voted no.

On to the House.

(12:01) Senator Brad Avakian gets to close up, then it’s time to vote. “The bill before us presumes that there are people in our community who do not live with equal justice.” Passing this law “is an expression of how we believe Oregonians should treat each other.”

“It is in the heart and the mind that the defeat of discrimination really occurs,” Avakian says. “Oregon has always, always responded by advancing the rights of people. Oregon has many virtues, but this is one of our best. Today, the steady progress continues. And in some distant day it will continue again. This is our place in time. We have an obligation. A duty to not simply be content with what we are, but to [move toward] what we want to become.”

(noon) Senator Ben Westlund—co-sponsor of SB1000 in 2005—says “this is a great bill that every Oregonian deserves,” keeping it short and sweet.

——
earlier action after the jump

(11:59) Senator Bill Morrisette (D-Springfield) supports it. He says that he thinks the day will come with gays will be accepted; until then, the least we can do is not discriminate against 'em.

(11:57) Senator Laurie Monnes Anderson (D-Gresham) supports SB2. She even had the Ecumenical Ministries of Oregon study it and sign off on the exemption part.

(11:44) It's Senator Floyd Prozanski's turn. "I'm going to use the C-word, Mr. President. Constitution." Prozanski, a D from Eugene, notes that the Constitution already protects religious groups, so they can pull their panties out of their collective butts about this bill. Well, he didn't say it that way. But that's what he means. "We don't even need to have the exemption in the bill," he points out.

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(11:38) Senator Roger Beyer wants to know how state agencies will be able to determine how someone's gay... and "does this bill make sexual orientation a protected minority?"

Burdick is emphasizing—again—that this bill is just adding sexual orientation to non-discrimination laws that already list things like religion, race, national origin, marital status, age, etc.

"We're adding a protected minority based on choice, or behavior," Beyer protests. He's saying that sexual orientation is no one's business, anyway. "This forces people to seek out that question," and determine if someone's gay or not so as not to discriminate against them... or something. His argument is very circular. He is making the case that a business owner "doesn't care," about sexual orientation, if an employee is a good employee.

(11:26) Senator Vicki Walker—who was awesome during the hearings last week—is relating some of the awful stories she and her colleagues heard during public testimony, from people who'd been discriminated against. Like a teenager in her district who was asked to drop out of his high school by administrators, because he was been harassed every day for being gay, and there wasn't much they could do about it. "The ACLU testified that the religious exemption is broader," than the one in the 2005 bill.

"SB 2 does tell that organization that if you have a commercial enterprise not related directly to your religious purpose—like an apartment complex, or an assisted living facility—you may not discriminate against others who do not share your religious beliefs."

----

(11:23) Senator Larry George wants Senator Brad Avakian (Burdick's co-sponsor) to explain the idea of a religious organization's "primary purpose." There's an exemption in the bill for religious groups—they can opt to not hire someone who's gay for a position related to the group's primary purpose. In other words, a church doesn't have to hire a homo who applies to be the pastor or the youth ministry director or something. George wants to know how "primary purpose" is defined. Avakian says the organization gets to define it; if a challenge is brought (say the church makes the case that the barista slot at the coffee shop it runs on the side is related to the church's primary purpose), then courts will make the call. The idea of judges ruling about church's primary purposes has some of the Rs here freaked out. Sounds like George is voting against it, mostly because of that—because "we couldn't come up with a religious exemption that makes the religious community more comfortable."

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(11:23) Alright—Senator Avel Gordly's up! "With liberty and justice for all," she just repeated a few times. It took 18 legislative sessions, she pointed out, to pass a civil rights law for African Americans, starting in 1919 (until 1953). "We have the opportunity to embrace our fellow citizens, who've fought for another 18 legislative sessions to get to this moment." She's talking about embracing all gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered citizens, including "my son, Mr. President."

(11:16) Burdick is doing a great job deflecting criticism—on things like "OMG, what happens to high school locker rooms? Are those a place of public accommodation?"—by pointing out that adhering to non-discrimination rules hasn't been a problem for the smaller jurisdictions that have 'em (like Portland), and she doesn't expect it'll be a problem statewide.

Senator Bruce Starr is pulling out the old "this is bad for businesses" argument, coupled with "gays already have good jobs and are wealthy" cliche. "This bill is not about tolerance, it's about acceptance," and risks "trampling on people's religious freedoms."

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(11:13) Senator Doug Whitsell's up, complaining that that bill discriminates against him and his Christian constituents in Klameth Falls. He says it's infringing on their freedom of religion and speech...

Senator Betsy Johnson asks if there's anything in the bill requiring public schools to teach a certain curriculum regarding homosexuality; Burdick clarified that the education component instructs the Bureau of Labor and Industries to educate employers.

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(11:08 am) Senator Jeff Kruse is up. "Proponents say this is an anti-discrimination bill. Mr. [Senate] President, it's that and much more." He says he's got "significant issues" with the bill: "This bill creates protected class status for people based on behavior. That's a giant leap from where we are currently in state law."

He also has concerns about the exemptions for religious organizations—he thinks there are loopholes—and the education portion of the bill, and he's complaining that he didn't have a chance to propose amendments, because the bill was fast-tracked. "If I had my way, I would take all of the discrimination language out of the statute, and just say 'thou shalt not discriminate.'"

"It's a flawed product, I urge a no vote."

----

(10:58 am) Sen. Ginny Burdick is "both proud and very happy today" to present SB 2.

"The group known as 'we' is getting larger, and 'they' is getting smaller.... Oregon has only grown richer each time it has knocked down a barrier... to recognize another excluded group," Burdick says. She's outlining exactly what the bill does, which is bar discrimination in employment, housing, and public places (like restaurants). The state legislature's been debating a measure like this since 1973, she points out—if Oregon had adopted it then, we'd have been the first in the country to bar discrimination. If we pass it this year, we'll be the 18th state.

Burdick's district spans Portland and Washington County—she points out that her constituents in PDX are already protected from discrimination, while those in WaCo aren't—and that's why the legislature should step in, to protect all citizens. "I respectfully request your aye vote on Senate Bill 2," she says.

-----

(10:29 am) The crowd here in the State Senate gallery is pretty sparse—one side is full, mostly of folks in royal blue Basic Rights Oregon "Basic Fairness, Basic Rights" t-shirts. The other side has seven people, including (I think—they're on the other side of a large room), a pair from the Oregon Family Council, if I recognize them correctly from the senate committee hearing last week. I got here super early, expecting a standing room only situation. Then again, the State Senate passed a bill similar to today'sin 2005, by a 19-10 vote. And that bill included civil unions. Comparatively, this bill—which will bar discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity—is less controversial.

Check back on this post throughout the morning; I'll highlight the debate, if there is one.

P.S.—State Senators aren't very prompt. It's 10:29 by the official senate clock, and the session starts at 10:30. There's only one senator ready to go: Sen. Avel Gordly.

As previously stated many times on this blog, something completely FAH-REAKY happens on nearly every episode of this season’s AMERICAN IDOL. Last night, a little girl in the audience had a pre-pre-menstrual freakout of extreme hormonal proportions when the really awful SANJAYA sang The Kinks’ “You Really Got Me.” If you can bear this horrible karaoke rendition, check out this video—because when the camera keeps cutting back to this girl crying in sublime ecstasy, you’ll fall in love with the world all over again.
If this girl keeps coming back? I’m voting SANJAYA!

And the winner of the next sure-to-be-horrible videogame film adaptation is… Microsoft’s mega-selling Gears of War. (Reviewed by yours truly a few months back right here.) Dude who’s writing the adaptation also wrote Collateral and contributed to the Pirates of the Caribbean scripts. Gears is an intensely cinematic game to begin with—it’s actually kind of jaw-dropping how the camera angles and storytelling ape some of the best parts of great action/sci-fi films—so it’ll be interesting to see how this turns out. (Chances are still 99.99 percent it will be horrible.) But christ, I wish they’d stop forcing games into movies. It only ends up making everybody look bad.

Tip o’ the hat to Kotaku.

High-fives for everyone! The Blazers defeated the Washington Wizards last night, by a final score of 100-98. Gilbert “I’m Going to Score 50 Points Against Portland” Arenas, had a clear shot to win the game as time expired, and he shot an air ball.

Not even close.

My lilttle sister could get it closer to the rim, and she has a broken arm.

I’m at the state capitol today, waiting for the senate session to start—legislators are slated to vote on Senate Bill 2, which would bar discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity.

But I’ve got an hour to kill—there’s really no one in the senate chambers, save for an aide putting papers on every senator’s desk, a lone Basic Rights Oregon supporter sitting in the gallery, listening to his headphones, and two very sweet transgendered near-elderly women—so I wandered the halls.

In room 350, just a few doors down from the senate chambers, I found a group listed only as “pregnancy centers.” The room was crowded, even overflowing into the hall. I only caught a snippet of what was going on (I couldn’t get into the room)—it seems like the group was prepping to lobby for or against something, and I’ll put my money on Senate Bill 776, which calls for a state funded study of so-called “crisis pregnancy clinics,” the sham centers that steer women away from abortion, and are often run by churches. But don’t take it from me—take it from the bill, sponsored by a pile of senators and representatives, at the request of Planned Parenthood and NARAL:

Whereas ‘alternative-to-abortion organizations,’ also called ‘crisis pregnancy centers,’ misinform and mislead women to deter or to delay them from having abortions; and

Whereas there are 51 alternative-to-abortion organizations or cri