From our pal DAVID DOUGLASS reporting from Hollyweird, California… YIKES! What a fire! And yes, that’s the Hollywood sign on the bottom right.

Shot taken from his office window yesterday afternoon, of a brush fire taking place close to Universal Studios. Thanks, Dave!

No doubt, Legolas-lovers, you’re already planning on going to GameStorm this weekend. Might want to check this out; it’s premiering at the event. A bit too many 20-sided die for my tastes, but if you’re into the whole roleplaying/tabletop gaming scene, should be right up your alley.

“All right, fine. I’ll be a dwarf… but my name is Carlos.” —Freaks and Geeks

There really is no reason to watch this season of SURVIVOR: FIJI. Especially when the best ten seconds of the season has been boiled down to THIS VIDEO which pretty much says it all.

Thanks TVgasm!

Man, that Bill O’Reilly has a lot to answer for. Mayor Potter’s office has received over 200 complaints from around the country, complaining that he allows effigies of G.I’s to be burned in this city. For example:

Will there be apologies from your office over their behavior? I understand that freedom of speech is a great thing, and I support it 100%, but the burning in effegy of a US Soldier, and the interesting (and sometimes improperly spelled) signs were just a bit too much, don’t you think? I’d think twice about visiting or relocating to your city if this is the sort of thing I can look forward to.

(…from a Senior Master Sergeant in the US Airforce). There are two more after the jump, and at least 200 more in the mayor’s inbox. Potter’s response?

A small segment of the media has not done a particularly good job on reporting what happened here in Portland…Unfortunately, a few media personalities have focused on the actions of a small handful of people - perhaps 10-15 young people - whose actions took place at the end of the afternoon after the demonstration had ended. They burned an American flag and an effigy that has been described as of a military person or the president. Their actions are protected as free speech under Oregon’s Constitution, as well as the U.S. Supreme Court. Portland police have monitored the protests closely, and made a number of arrests.

The intent of this tiny band of anarchists was to provoke a strong response and generate attention for themselves. They succeeded in getting a small group of radio and TV commentators to focus on them - although, interestingly, not in the Portland area. The Mayor has asked that people focus on the real issues facing our country, and not the actions of a tiny minority or the small media circus that feeds off them.

That’s telling ‘em.

I am sure you are aware of the protesters in your town who choose to desecrate our Flag, profane our fighting troops and demonstrate their freedoms that our troops put their lives on the line for each and every day of our lives. I am so ashamed of these vile people. They don't represent the America I grew up in, I truly hope that these people don't represent the values of the city of Portland. I hope the leaders of Portland are attempting to do something to distance itself from these idiots.

And...

Sir, seeing how you allowed a bunch of ill informed anarchists to burn a "soldier" in effigy and have made no effort to publicly condemn this unspeakable atrocity. I am exercising my "free speech" rights by never visiting your city for any event whatsoever. As well, I will pass the video along to as many people as I know who will in turn, follow my lead. Any purchases made via the internet personal or professional that involves Portland in any way will be immediately dismissed and a substitute found, regardless of the additional cost. This is beyond belief. You can disagree with the war as I do, but you can bet it is not the soldiers fault. These people should be arrested.

The public expects miracles from the police department, Rosie Sizer told today’s audience at City Club.Union boss, Robert King, listens to Sizer’s speech today—he gave it a standing ovation.

“The expectation is that we will deliver immaculate conceptions,” she said. “A perfect balance between individual liberty and public security, but I cannot deliver immaculate conceptions.”

Sizer told the audience she could deliver fairness, honesty and transparency, and compassion, and that these qualities influenced every decision she makes as Chief of Police. But when it comes to the public’s expectations of miracles, Sizer said for many officers they are “frankly un-nerving and diminish your good nature and resolve.”

Sizer faced questions on gender (being female has helped her as Police Chief when it comes to expressing a wider range of emotion—”I don’t think men are able to express themselves in the same way as I can…”), charter reform (“I’m going to duck that question…”), gun control (“I think most police officers would prefer to face less guns in the hands of criminals…”), trans-gender police officers (“we have come on light years in our treatment of that area of diversity in police work…”), her optimism over a new training facility for cops (“I am wildly optimistic…”), the drug and prostitution free zones (“I am not sure that if the neighborhoods don’t want it, that I want to have it, but I’d like that discussion to happen in city council…”), and racial profiling (“I think there is good work to be done…”).

Catch the whole thing tonight at 7pm on OPB.

From Kim Irving, shots of the Crystal Springs Rhododendron Garden:

There’s another after the jump!

todayinpdx@portlandmercury.com

The BBC reported President Bush visited soldiers today at the Walter Reed Medical Center. Bush apologized to the soldiers for the care, or lack thereof, they have received at Walter Reed and promised to fix the problems.
According to the BBC, “Some retired officers criticized the president for turning the visit into a photo opportunity.”

I for one am shocked that people would claim that about the President since he didn’t do it after 9-11 at Ground Zero…

Or on an aircraft carrier after the fall of Sadam Hussein…

Or in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina…

A woodblock print depicting Mt. Fuji, by Katsushika Hokusai, which now belongs to the Seattle Art Museum

There are a few things popping out their in the art world blogosphere today, most notably:

The New Republic charges humorist David Sedaris of fibbing!

During a long conversation from his temporary roost in Tokyo—where he has been holed up trying to quit smoking, poor guy—Sedaris was admirably open to fielding my most obnoxious questions about the hard-to-believe things I had found in some of his stories. He admitted that he had pumped up the Dix episode to tell a funnier yarn and that the juicy details with Clarence didn’t take place.

That seems beyond the boundaries of comic exaggeration. It’s fine to use absurdly embellished descriptions for laughs—this is an essential tool for any humorist. If I write, “I was so hungover, I threw up my own skeleton,” you know I’m kidding. It’s not fine to pretend—in a long and detailed scene—that you performed outlandish, dangerous tasks at a mental hospital when you didn’t.

Now, I generally have less patience for the James Freys and JT Leroys of the world than most of my peers, but this seems ridiculous. Sedaris is a humorist who writes about his own life, and I don’t think anybody in the world believes that his stories are factual. They’re like old Richard Pryor routines—you can tell they’re grounded in reality, but nobody calls him a liar for suggesting that his dog started talking to him.

In other news, the Seattle Art Museum announced today that it received a gift of $1 billion worth of art. One billion. With a B. The gift includes major works by luminaries such as Mark Rothko, Edward Hopper, Ed Ruscha, etc. etc. etc. Usually when museums receive major gifts, their impact is not immediately noticable to the general public, but this massive gift (a cluster of gifts, really), is likely to impact the reputation and importance of SAM in the eyes of museums and art lovers across the country. Somebody has some thank you notes to start writing!

So I just got back from checking out that fancy-pants new digital projector at the Lloyd Cinemas. I did this by going and buying a ticket to Meet the Robinsons and then watching it. So no, I have no “behind-the-scenes” anecdotes, nor “hot scoops,” nor “insider info.” But I can say that Meet the Robinsons in digital 3D is pretty damn awesome.

First, the movie’s surprisingly great: Smart, funny, sweet but not saccharine, had cool stuff in it. (Fuck, it has a giant octopus fighting a T-rex, Tom Selleck references [!], and eeeeevil bowler hats. If that’s not a recipe for an excellent film, I don’t know what is. Don’t trust the trailers for this, which just make it look annoying and Shrek-y.) But the 3D thing was pretty cool too. It’s not a whole lot of showy, Captain EO-style theatrics or anything; the 3D’s actually pretty subtle, but just adds a weight and a heft to the visuals that’s not there in traditional film. It takes a few seconds to get used to, but then it looks perfectly natural—and flipping up the glasses to reveal the standard 2D image, which I couldn’t help myself from repeatedly doing, actually sucks about 90 percent of the visual punch out of it. That old-school 3D style (Creature from the Black Lagoon, House of Wax, etc.) never looked right to me—it always just looked jumbly and flickery and planar and headache-y—but this stuff just adds a… well, sorry, but yeah, a dimension to the visuals that feels way more natural, and makes the visuals far more engrossing, whether it’s a cool special effect or (as I almost preferred) just the normal dialogue or action. Think stereo vs. mono, in terms of sensory experience. It’s hard to explain, but it’s worth checking out.

More stuff after the jump.

To answer what I was wondering, and the first question I got asked when I got back to the office: Yes, you have to wear glasses. These just look like cheap sunglasses, though, and are way more comfortable than those old paper ones w/ blue/red cellophane for lenses.

The other hitch is the price: $9 for a matinee, which is pretty rough (the usual price is $6.50), and if I hadn't liked Meet the Robinsons so damn much, I probably would've been more angry about this than I am. I'm not sure if that's going to be the price for just 3D stuff, or if it's the price for all the digital films I assume Lloyd Cinemas is going to be showing from here on out, but I guess we'll see. (If it is the going rate for just all digitally projected films, well, that both makes sense and not--these digital images are way sharper and cleaner than those from film projection, and--this is important--the HD thing being the pivotal thing that sets this theater apart from other Portland theaters w/ non-HD digital projection, like the Living Room Theaters. So I'm cool w/ paying more for digital HD, I suppose, if it means a better picture. On the other hand, it should in fact cost less, since once you get past the set-up cost for the HD projector [which is, as my grandpappy would say, no small potatoes], the theater no longer has to worry about a print, which saves a ton of money in both print-striking and transportation charges, since the theater just has to download a file rather than lug a billion-pound print all over. So yeah, once you think about it, it should be less $, not more.)

The digital HD thing, for me, is more of an issue than the 3D stuff. Once you've seen shit via HD digital projection, it's kind of hard to go back. The image is just so much more vibrant and sharp, and there's none of the flickering that you get from film projection. Sure, the flicker of film and its slightly fuzzy look are part of the moviegoing experience, but they're rapidly becoming more of a novelty than a necessity, so it's hard to justify having a scratched or worn-out print when you could have a pristine one, unless you're just being sentimental. (Exhibit A: Tarantino and Rodriguez's upcoming Grindhouse, in which Rodriguez shot on digital, then used a computer program to muss up his virtual "print," so it just looks worn down and aged. Exhibit B: Battlestar Galactica, which shoots on digital, but then uses a program to add grain, thus making it look like it was shot on celluloid.) Anyway: Up until today, the only way to get the whole HD digital thing was at either Cinetopia in Vancover or at the Bridgeport 16 in Tigard, both of which kind of suck to get to from Portland. Having a legit HD digital theater in the actual city limits now is great. Sure, I wish it wasn't at a Regal theater, and I wish it was cheaper, and etc. But until these things become the standard--which they will, I'm guessing, within five to 10 years, if not less--I guess we kind of have to take what we can get, and at this point big companies like Regal are pretty much the only places that can afford these billion-dollar HD digital projectors.

Speaking of the standard changing to digital, and relatively soon: This story is a few years old, but pretty much still stands, I think: I know that James Cameron's Avatar is likely to be released in this format in 2009, and re-releases of films in 3D (or simultaneous releases of tentpole summer blockbusters in both 2D and 3D) isn't long off. Right now the 3D angle is mostly being covered by Disney's animation--Robinsons, Chicken Little, a retrofitted 3D version of The Nightmare Before Christmas--mostly because, as I sort of understand it, CG animation is apparently super-easy (or easier, at least) to switch into 3D--all of the full backgrounds are present, the characters have three dimensions already, etc., instead of having to cut out 2D film elements and then stagger them to make them "look" 3D.

Anyway, so go check it out, if you get a chance and don't mind dropping a few bucks. I was pretty pleasantly surprised, but I'm really curious as to what other people think.

Also, I'd like to note that at the pretty full screening I just went to, there was one little boy, maybe five or six, sitting across the aisle from me, who refused to put his glasses on, and thus watched the film in a sort of blurry 2D, because, as he told his mother, he was just opposed to wearing glasses. Like, on principle. Which seemed to me to be a pretty rad stance to take.

BEATBOXING! It’s the international language of AWESOME. And it’s a fact proven once again by JOSEPH as he auditions for the American Idol-ish show from France, Nouvelle Star. Though I don’t understand what these Frenchies are saying, I’m betting it’s something like, “DAMN! That merde is TIGHT!”

Tips to Discobelle!

And if that doesn’t both amuse and terrify you, something’s gone wrong in your brain’s ability to process information.

Just in over the electronic mail, Whitsett (R-Klamath Falls) has jumped on the Bill O’Reilly bandwagon with a press release that could very well have been taken from a transcript of O’Reilly’s broadcast from a few days ago.

Dear Friends,

On Sunday, March 28 a ‘peace rally’ protesting the war in Iraq was held in Portland in commemoration of the fourth anniversary of our occupation in Iraq. Following the rally ten(s) of thousands of protestors marched through downtown Portland with signs and chants of protest. Among these protestors was a contingency of masked radicals who committed actions that I find absolutely abhorrent. This group of anti-war activists carried a “F_ _ _ THE TROOPS” banner. They chanted slogans like “bye, bye, GI, In Iraq you’re gonna die” and “build a bonfire, build a bonfire, put the soldiers on the top, put the fascists in the middle and we’ll burn the f_ _ _in’ lot”. They defecated on the American flag. They burned an American flag. They burned an American soldier in effigy.

What’s more appalling than these events taking place is that these disturbing details weren’t covered by any large media sources at the state level. In fact, the Oregonian described the rally as a family friendly event. You can watch a video of the events here and decide for yourself if they are something you’d like your family to attend.

I think we can all agree that the war has been a very contentious issue from the beginning and has been the source of political disputes. I respect the decisions of our Commander and Chief. Conversely, many Americans have chosen to exercise their constitutionally protected right to voice their dissent throughout our involvement in the war effort. Just as I respect the opinions and decisions of our President, I also respect the opinion of those who disagree with our prosecution of the war on terror. However, these actions committed by certain protestors are intolerable and egregious. It appears these protestors have an anarchist agenda and are co-opting the peaceful and legitimate protestor’s rights to their freedom of speech. Moreover, I consider this behavior to be treasonous and seditious.

Ahh, yes. There’s always a but. “I respect the opinion of those who disagree with the war, BUT only if they disagree using methods that I find acceptable. Otherwise, they’re treasonous and seditious.”

Actually, Sen. Whitsett, they’re just moronic.

At any rate, notice the close parallel here between Whitsett’s and O’Reilly’s messages? Like that they’re identical? Is an Oregon State Senator really taking his talking points directly from O’Reilly’s show? Does that make you as worried as I am about the unfortunate residents of Klamath Falls?

Anywho! For the last freaking time—there were at least 15,000 people protesting. A couple dozen of them were stupid enough to burn a soldier in effigy. Just because they were the ones to get all the Fox News attention doesn’t mean they were representative of even a microscopic fraction of the protest.

Whoopee! 24’s Chloe O’Brien (Mary Lynn Rajskub) graces the cover of the latest issue of GEEK MONTHLY. While our own Erik Henriksen says the magazine’s stories and layout are a bit hit and miss, you should check it out anyway online… because their site features some deliciously hot pix of Chloe, just LIKE THIS ONE!

After realizing the majority of Mercury readers hate Bill O’Reilly as much as I do, I decided to lay down the gauntlet in their honor. That’s right, I challenged Bill O’Reilly to a steel cage match.

Below is the letter I sent to Oreilly@foxnews.com.
That’s it, I can no longer sit back and watch. I’d challenge you to a debate, but you’d simply yell over me, call unpatriotic, and tell me to shut up. I’m not normally a violent person, but your ignorant rants have sent me over the edge. I, Daniel Louis Savickas the third, challenge you, Bill O’Reilly, to a no holds barred steel cage match. You name the time and place.
Daniel Louis Savickas III

I’ll keep you all posted.

From perennial Blogtown tipster Cory:

It’s a bike messenger scavenger race open to either bike messengers or “fakengers” if they have the cahones to man up once and for all on that pretty new fixed gear (with neon green rims). There will be a number of checkpoints that will require something that probably isn’t that fun to the rider but funny to everyone else.

Good times.

Meeting time is this Saturday at 1pm sharp at SE 29th and Glissan.

Lots and lots of fun prizes and beer after.

$7 for messengers
$10 for fakengers

Looks like your favorite lefty coffee shop and music venue is moving. No word on where, but the Red & Black Cafe (2138 SE Division) will be picking up shop on November 15. They promise to deliver more news on Tuesday.

It won the Tournament of Books today.

Check out week two of the Robotica series on 3-Minute Limit. This week I ‘m featuring Iceland’s Apparat Organ Quartet (featured below) and the bombastic nerdmatronic Servotron.

… Aaaaand so Grand Theft Auto IV’s long-awaited, brand-spankin’-new trailer puts it firmly on my “I’m pretty excited for these games” list, which at the moment also includes The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass, Halo 3, Mass Effect, Metroid Prime 3: Corruption, and Super Mario Galaxy. GTA IV hits PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 this fall. I suspect one or two people will play it, possibly.

Here’s the extended trailer for the new STEVE CARELL summer-time comedy (that thankfully doesn’t star Jim Carrey) EVAN ALMIGHTY. Watch it and answer the question: Does it make you dislike Christians MORE or LESS?

This week’s Mercury is all about pork—but did you know, PORK IS GOING TO WAR? At least, metaphorically. This morning’s New York Times carries an op-ed piece by Thomas Schatz, accusing Oregon rep Peter DeFazio, and Washington’s new Democratic leadership of tacking a “shameless” $20 billion in “unrelated spending” onto President Bush’s $103 billion request for more war money. For Schatz, “pork” is all about excess. The extra money will go towards fisheries, eradicating crickets, and funding people who grow Christmas trees. I don’t understand it, really—how are Christmas trees made of pork? What’s that about?

I just know that PORK IS GOING TO WAR! PORK IS GOING TO WAR! PORK IS GOING TO WAR! PORK IS GOING TO WAR! PORK IS GOING TO WAR! Now, try to get that out of your head for the rest of the morning.

Amy’s popular “Today in PDX” posts, wherein you send in cellphone pics of what’s going on in Portland, and we post them on Blog Town, appear to have spawned a demon child—The Tribune’s new “Closer to Home” section. In a new twist, the Trib’ wants you to come up with ideas, then send them in so that their photographer can go out and take the picture on your behalf. Weird. This week, it’s the cherry trees in Waterfront Park.

Of course, if you’re not into supplying ideas for those whose creative juices have run dry, take the picture yourself, and send it to us at todayinpdx@portlandmercury.com.

Standoff 2007 - UK vs Iran: Iran is totally winning.

An African-American man carjacks someone, gets 18 years. This guy does billions in damage, gets four years. Oh yeah, by the way, turns out that after 11 years behind bars, the African-American fellow, he was innocent. Ladies and gentlemen, our American justice system.

Oh wow, it’s like Katrina never happened. Mardi Gras! Woo!! Where my beads at, dawg?

Grammy. Nobel Prize. Pulitzer. Mother of the Year. Is there an award out there that Bono hasn’t won? He was just knighted. Boo.

In honor of the greatest sport in the world (no, not this sport), Baseball, which starts up this Sunday, here is the late A. Bartlett Giamatti (father of this guy) explaining the wonder of the game:
“It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone.”

James Earl Jones totally agrees, baseball rulez:

This landed in our snail mail box today:

It’s a glossy flyer touting the MetroFi wi-fi network—the one that, as Scott reported below, two Personal Telco Project members found works only about half the time. That doesn’t seem good enough to turn on the rest of the network:

According to the bid the city granted to the company, MetroFi has to show at least 90 percent coverage in the test area—but only outdoors—to continue on with the rest of the city.

The Mercury’s office is technically in the test area—so if this flyer only went to test area people, it’s weird we didn’t get it months ago, when the test began. (Despite being in that area, we’ve yet to be able to connect from the office, and I’m not willing to shell out $100+ to buy a wi-fi modem to test it.)

But anyway, as Scott reported, MetroFi’s awaiting their test results, so they can flip the switch on the rest of the “access nodes.” Since the test report is due very soon—early-mid April—my bet is this flyer went out beyond the test area to let phase two people know about the wi-fi (I’ve got a call in to find out).

I just hope it didn’t go out too widely, or MetroFi’s going to have a bunch of cranky people on their hands. The back of the flyer says:

(Click here to see the entire back of the flyer.)

Yep, that says “try it today!” and “you’ll be surfing the Internet for free in no time!”

Sure, after you pay for the modem and/or wait for the rest of the network to go live.

Know that little red-marqueed theater next to Voodoo Doughnut on SW 3rd, just a few doors down from Burnside? According to neighborhood blogger Larry Norton, rumor has it the space is set to become a porn theater (and he’s not happy about the idea):

The rumor is that the Paris Theater is to become a porn movie theater - not like Cindy’s but the ‘trench coat’ type. Our part of town does not benefit from this type of business. While there are certain rights to operate most any business, zoning laws could exclude certain businesses…

Is this the best use or in anyway beneficial to the neighborhood?

Well, if they show porn that goes well with doughnuts… (Speaking of! Voodoo’s “Annual Cockfest” was last night, I hear. Was last year’s record of five broken?)

Last night, the promise of free drinks lured Christine and I over to the Jade Lounge, a relatively new bar attached to Il Piatto that features pan-Asian cuisine and a pretty decent selection of froofy cocktails.

We sampled quite a few of the house libations, which ranged from very good (a tart pomegraniti-thingy which I don’t believe is on the menu yet) to average (the Monkey’s Plum, a hot toddy with plum brandy—nothing special, could’ve used a bit more booze and a bit more honey and lemon) to sort of confusing (a martini with lemongrass-chili infused vodka and pineapple that bore a strong resemblance to the chicken marinade we had at a restaurant i used to work at). Next time I’ll probably just go for One Complex Trollop: the house martini, served dry with Hendricks gin and a stuffed olive. Can’t go wrong with that.

While we didn’t eat anything (and honestly, the phrase “Asian fusion” doesn’t do much for my appetite; a spring roll is a spring roll is a…), I will definitely be back here for drinks. The biggest selling point is that unlike just about every other bar in the area—Beulahland, Chin Yen, the Bonfire, the Laurelthirst— Jade Lounge is non-smoking. I’ve been itching for a quiet, non-smoking hangout in my ‘hood, someplace I can grab a drink and do some reading without reminders of how much I miss smoking lighting up all around me. And despite my reservations about the menu, it really is a cozy, nicely designed little space, with green hanging lights, comfy purple chairs, pretty wallpaper and curtains, plus sidewalk seating on nice days.

Happy hour from 5-6:30 offers $3 wells (not bad), and a food menu under $5. There were also beer and wine lists, but (drat it) I can’t remember if there were any taps or not…

Anyway, I’d say it’s worth a visit if you’re in the neighborhood, especially if you’re looking for something on the low-key side.

Jade Lounge, 2342 SE Ankeny; I believe they’re open from 5 until 10 or 11, although the bartender said they were planning to extend the hours soon for summer.

Catch up on the best episodes EVER of THE OFFICE tonight when NBC runs a mini-marathon of the hilarious show (8 pm- 11 pm). (Inexplicably, they are inserting a new ep of Andy Barker, P.I. right smack dab in the middle at 9:30 — so that’s a good time to make a sandwich or shoot up a goofball.) Here’s the lineup according to NBC:
8 pm DIVERSITY DAY - Michael tells everyone it was his idea to hire a special consultant (Larry Wilmore) to teach racial tolerance and diversity, when in fact it was his behavior that necessitated the training.
8:30 HEALTH CARE - When Dwight gets the authority to choose a health plan for everyone, the power quickly goes to his head, infuriating his co-workers.
9:00 SEXUAL HARASSMENT - When Michael’s best friend, sales representative Todd Packer (David Koechner), pays him a visit, Michael starts behaving even more inappropriately.
10:00 THE INJURY - After he has an accident while using a George Foreman grill, injured Michael demands attention from the entire Dunder Mifflin office.
10:30 GAY WITCH HUNT - Michael unintentionally outs a gay employee.

IMPORTANT! If you can’t watch all of them, at least catch GAY WITCH HUNT where Michael makes out with Oscar to prove he likes gays, and THE INJURY, where Dwight suffers from head trauma and throws up all over his car. HERE’S A CLIP!

There’s an interesting article in today’s Wall Street Journal (thanks, Sonia!) about those elusive and enviable folks known as trend spotters. What a dream job: get paid to travel the world, specifically during hot arts and culture festivals to observe and compile reports on what’s going to be hot in the near future of retail. The article, entitled “Spotting the Next Hoodie,” follows a couple of these trend spotters around, and I was happily cruising through it until I was stopped by how it ends:

This week, WGSN’s Ms. Job sorted through more than 400 pictures she took in Austin, putting together groupings of three to six shots that illustrate a trend for her “trend flashes” — short reports that she will produce once a week for the next three weeks. In addition to high-waisted jeans, which she has noticed since at an H&M store in New York, she plans to focus on Ray-Ban Wayfarer-style sunglasses and the trapper-style raccoon hat that several young women were wearing.

Next stop: Portland, Ore.

TA-DUM! First, is it just me or is the fact that it ends with that last line as its own paragraph, punctuating the entire article seem pretty loaded? Secondly, I’m assuming that the trip to Austin was around SXSW, which means this trend spotter who was headed here could be here right now. Or hey, she could have come and gone already. Either way, what do you think she reported after observing PDX street style?

Do you want to know what shows and bands are being profiled in our music section this week, but you are too lazy to read the paper? Have no fear. Just take a listen to this week’s episode of Easier Than Reading, our new music podcast show hosted by Mercury music editor Mr. Ezra Ace Caraeff. Click here to check it out.

Whenever anyone asks me who is the one celebrity I’d like meet, I always respond with the same person- Bill O’Reilly.
I don’t want to meet Bill O’Reilly in the same way I’d love to meet Natalie Portman, no, our meeting would be much different. I would like to meet Bill with the sole purpose of getting into a fist fight with him. I hate O’Reilly the way some people hate peas or the sound that comes from dragging your nails across a chalk board.
So the other night when I got a call from my father, “Are you watching Bill O’Reilly? He’s talking about Portland.” I instantly responded with, “Let me guess, he’s got a clip of the little anarchist kids burning the flag and the soldier and he’s using that to discredit the entire peace protest?!”
Was I right? You watch and tell me what you think.

I just came from a lovely lunch of watching Son Volt play the lobby of Weiden + Kennedy. As part of their way-cool Lunchbox series, Jay Farrar and co. played a nice acoustic set, complete with a drummer using a makeshift kit that consisted of a stool and a stack of papers.

They played Methamphetamine.

Bad drug, great song.

Happy creepy easter!

todayinpdx@portlandmercury.com

The space at 610 NW Couch has had its fair share of shuffling identity, most recently being Lush. Time for another change-up! Check it:

Karl Wilgus, owner of Portland’s “The Original Eagle PDX”, is taking on a new venture. Wilgus recently acquired the space on SW 6th and Couch, formerly “LUSH”, with the intention of opening a new nightclub and lounge. The new venue, “Casey’s Nightclub & Lounge”, will cater to Portland’s Gay, Lesbian, and alternative community but inviting to all. Joining his team is Chad Stout as General Manager along with Munro Rost and Andrew Miller formerly of Scandals Restaurant & Lounge as Casey’s Events and Promotions managers. “Casey’s” will feature a comfortable lounge-type area complete with a full kitchen, pool table, and dart boards on the main floor. On the bottom level it will feature a nightclub atmosphere with a dance floor, live DJ’s, and a second large bar. While the downstairs will be non-smoking, the main floor will still offer the ability for its patrons to smoke while the wide open front doors slide open to expose the large outdoor patio seating area. The development and construction of this new nightclub is on schedule with a “sneak peak” planned for Saturday, April 21. The grand opening will be announced shortly after.

CASEY’S NIGHTCLUB & LOUNGE
610 NW COUCH
PORTLAND, OR 97209
503.224.9062

Sweet! Plenty of time to scout it out before Pride Weekend, then. I was never into Lush, and could never quite figure out who was hanging out there, so I’ll be curious to check the new scene. I always liked the Eagle back when i lived nearby and would occasionally made it my last stop on the way home, so hopefully this will be a good spot too.

This week, in the Merc…

Lizzie Ehrenhalt has a great chat with Beth Ditto of The Gossip, which touches on their popularity across the pond and the whole major label thing.
Oh wow, it’s Beth and Jarvis Cocker (of Pulp! OMG!! WTF!!!) covering Temptation at the NME Awards.

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Baltimore’s Arboretum keeps rocking the free world with their spirtual Neil Young-isms. Plus, they totally have Will Oldham on speed-dial.
Here is Tonight’s A Jewel from their Rites Of Uncovering album.

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In an effort to extinguish my indie cred, alienate my few remaining friends and double my impressive stack of hate mail, I write about Brand New. I just hope that this article doesn’t ruin my MySpace Top 8 standing.
I chose the emoist (totes a real word) song for you to listen to. Degausser
Done? Ok, you can start with the Haterade. Just keep my “daddy”out of it. Not cool.

I have to admit, I’ve never visited Mt. Tabor Park on a Wednesday, when the space is closed to vehicle traffic. This neighbor—David Hartsook—has, and took note of near misses with “out of control speeding bicyclists.” He wrote to City Commissioner Dan Saltzman’s aide, Matthew Grumm:

Hi Matthew:

I originally received an e-mail from your office back on 06/09/06 regarding a problem I had last summer with Speeding Bicyclists at Mt. Tabor Park.

Last night (03/28/07 between 6:15 pm and 7:30 pm) I had several near misses in the park with out of control Speeding Bicyclists (I counted 30 cyclists in the park). I politely yelled at the cyclists to please SLOW DOWN. This went on deaf ears and they flipped me OFF. The cyclists came so close to me when they passed I could literally reach out and touch them. I injured my foot in January and have been in Physical Therapy for weeks. Because of my injury I walk slow and can’t react quickly. It’s only a matter of time before I or someone else gets hit by one of these cyclists. Everyone is at their mercy when they take over the park.

I hope someone in the Parks Department can do something about this on going problem.

Thanks.

(Photo via “Bike-junkie” at Flickr.)

Anyone else have near misses with cyclists on Mt. Tabor? Any cyclists out there with a different point of view?

First, they took over the Broadway Bridge—now, the production of “Untraceable” (starring Diane Lane) is moving on to city hall.

Shooting at the building will begin tomorrow afternoon and go through the weekend, according to a press release sent out by the mayor’s office. Potter couldn’t be more pleased:

“‘Untraceable’ is one of the first projects of this size to come to Portland in several years, and we need to find ways to make Portland more attractive to Hollywood,” said Mayor Potter. “The film industry is a “green” industry which provides tremendous economic benefits to the area.”

In the film, Lane plays an FBI agent tracking down a serial killer.

Wait.

Potter’s inviting an FBI agent into city hall? Isn’t he usually trying to kick them out?

Glenn Hamzinger, the lead singer of The Misfats—the oversized, food-obsessed Misfits cover band—apparently didn’t appreciate Ezra’s SXSW coverage.

On his blog, Hamzinger accused Ezra (the Mercury as a whole, actually) of being ignorant, self-righteous, exclusivist, arrogant, lazy, intolerant, and a fawning fellator.

It would be very presumptuous of me to be upset that we’re “not getting anything” (although I suppose that type of attitude would qualify me to be a music reviewer for the Mercury?) and then this whole argument could be about, “Wah, we were snubbed again and they don’t like us and they never talk about us and wah wah wah.” But the problem is much deeper than that, one I and many others have been witness to repeatedly.

Perhaps the “bad idea” here was sending someone to review the Portland bands at the show who already has a distaste for them? Someone who seemingly only values pop and post-punk and disregards all others? Or maybe the fact that it’s again just fully representative of the hipster arrogance that pervades the sponsoring publication’s music section?

To be fair, Ezra did refuse to buy the Misfats a soda pop.

Once the most beloved of Idol contestants for his snappy comedic stylings (and lightning quick Simon jabs), the overweight mop-topped CHRIS SLIGH has been given the boot from AMERICAN IDOL. Could it have been because of his Tuesday night massacre of “Every Little Thing She Does is Magic,” or his revelation that he is a “Christ follower”? From Chris Sligh’s blog…

I am first and foremost a Christ-follower. I am also a rock star. I don’t feel the two are diametrically opposed. If you do…I feel bad for you.

Hmm… defensive much? See ya in hell, Chris.
Anyhoo, glad he’s gone, because that means more fun from Mr. Pony-Hawk himself, the evil SANJAYA! It’s becoming more and more apparent that his fellow contestants are going bat-shit crazy over the fact that Sanjaya is more pervasive than genital warts, and like the STD, refuses to go away. This could be super bad news for “J” who is now on day 12 of her hunger strike, and will have to go without food for AT LEAST another week! If she keeps it up, pretty soon she’ll be able to fit into Nicole Richie’s bikini!

Not crying for Chris.

I wrote a piece on North Portland’s Florida Room this week—the Killingsworth bar’s prominent sign read “SIN ALL THE DAMN TIME,” a reference to their 24/7 “service industry night” (aka, SIN).

The neighbors read the sign differently—they took issue with both the “SIN” word and the “EVIL” reference (Team Evil is the bar owners’ corporate name), and have been campaigning for the Florida Room to change it up.

But the owners weren’t about to capitulate:

The Florida Room’s owners say they don’t want to be reactive, and change the sign just because of complaints. But [co-owner] Mike Hanson says they are expecting a letter-changing pole to arrive any day, and then they’ll likely change the sign. “Maybe to something else offensive and vulgar,” [co-owner Patti] Earley says wryly.

That’s what went to press Tuesday night. On Wednesday, the pole arrived, and the Florida Room’s owners took down part of the sign—the SIN part. Now, the sign’s going to celebrate the “Customer of the Month,”: Nancy, and say “Keep it Moist” (between the new sign and the generous SIN special, it’s obvious the Florida Room is big on customer appreciation).

And they kept the “Team Evil” part.

Also on Wednesday, I spoke with Renee Ward, a North Portland pastor, and chief of staff to Representative Chip Shields. She’s been in contact with others in the community who aren’t happy about Florida Room’s sign, and might stage a protest down the line. Will the removal of the “SIN” part of the sign placate Ward’s concerns? Unlikely: She’s just as concerned about the “EVIL” part, given the history of violence and gang activity in that part of North Portland. “As a pastor I find it very offensive.” Ward, however, declined to discuss details, as she’s focused on the legislative session in Salem at the moment.

It’s been more than a month since the Citizens to Reform City Hall was formed to campaign for this May’s charter change ballot measures, and there’s still no information listed on the Secretary of State’s website about who is funding the effort.

Under the new ORESTAR system, campaign contributions are disclosed and published in relatively real time. Instead of having a couple of deadlines for campaigns to dump all of their information, every contribution gets its own deadline—30 days from the transaction. Within 42 days of the election, that switches to seven days after each transaction.

Since there’s still nothing posted, one can reasonably assume that as of 30 days ago, the end of February, the campaign hadn’t raised any money. That seven day deadline, though, kicks in right around April 3—meaning that by next week, voters should have a clearer idea of who’s funding the strong mayor effort.

One of the campaigns on the no side, Portlanders for Accountability, is still reporting its contributions—the most recent being $25,000 from Oregon AFSCME Council 75, $2,000 from Leland Larson, and $11,000 from Fire Fighters Political Action Measure PAC, all listed on March 23.

I sympathize with the Forever 21 thing, I do. The first time I ever went there I bought up a huge amount of stuff for a paltry $60 or something like that. Never mind that everything was so synthetic I felt flammable, or that 80% of the items fell apart after their first outing. You can’t ague a crackhead out of their crack, and you can’t argue a rabid shopper out of a steal. Nonetheless, as much as I sympathize, I can’t stand the place, and I absolutely hate it when I tell someone their sweater is cute and ask them where they got it, only to have them chirp, “Forever 21.”

Well, Diane Von Furstenberg hates their corporate, idea stealing ways too, and she’s suing them for ripping off two of her dressed from the Spring/Summer ‘06 line. Her claim states: “Without authorisation or license from DVF, Forever 21 has produced and is marketing, advertising, distributing, offering for sale and selling dresses nearly identical to DVF’s Cerisier and Aubrey dresses that bear print designs identical to the DVF copyrights.”

Here’s the DVF Cerisier:

You like? Either buy the original or (shudder) run like hell to Forever 21 to try and score the knockoff for a tiny fraction of the price before they are all pulled from the racks.

Tonight The Blazers are at home, taking on the pesky Memphis Grizzlies. The last time these two teams met at The Rose Garden, the red & black lost an absolutely heart-breaking game, when someone failed to make a free throw with less than a second left.

Hopefully, brand new daddy, and Leatherman owner, Brandon Roy will led the home team to victory.

From the Oregonian, another lawsuit against the cops:

Woman claims Portland officer punched her, broke her arm during traffic stop

Posted by ncrombie March 29, 2007 08:46AM

Categories: Breaking News

A woman initially stopped by a Portland police officer for not wearing a seat belt claims the officer later beat her after she swore at him, according to a federal lawsuit and the woman’s lawyer.

Hmm.

Traffic cop punched woman in face, broke her arm after she called him an “asshole,” new lawsuit alleges

Posted by MATT DAVIS on Tue, Mar 27, 2007 at 6:18 PM

A 58-year-old woman is suing the City of Portland and a Portland Police Officer, alleging he punched her in the face and broke her arm following a traffic stop when she called him an “asshole.”

Way to “break” this important story, O.

Wow. Wow. Wow. WOW. Can somebody please help me COUNT the multitude of ways this is so FREAKING WRONG. Click the play button below for the video of rapping Karl Rove at the Radio and Television’s Correspondents Association Dinner (and find somebody to catch your jaw before it hits the floor).

Oh, WOW.

This class, taught by Isis Leeor, who also teaches a “Stripper 101” class that I happened to sample last week (man I am no good at pole tricks), claims to teach you to orgasm using no hands. Check it:

What if someone told you that your natural state was one giant orgasm? Well, Isis Leeor, founder of Stripper 101, is saying just that. In fact..she can prove it! Isis will utilize her training in body psychotherapy, energy work, Tantra, and well just the messy business of being alive to show you how to tap into your orgasmic potential.

OK, who’s going to try this?

This workshop is limited to 9 people.
Saturday, April 14th, 11:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m.
Cost: $125
To register contact Isis Leeor – 503-334-8578 or email isis@becomingjuicy.com

I assume they are not being literal when they say orgasm, but it would be pretty impressive if they were. Have any of you done this sort of thing? (Did you find it bullshitty? Awesome?) Would you want to? In a room with nine strangers?

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry is the latest film written by the dudes who did the retardedly overrated Sideways, and it once again focuses on two men—but this time it’s Adam Sander and Kevin James, and they’re pretending to be gay for each other! (It has something to do with tricking Dan Aykroyd, for some reason.)

I really don’t know what to think about this. My hunch is w/ Sandler doing comedy again (yay!) and Kevin James still being one funny mofo (yay!) this will be funny. But it also seems like the filmmakers might be in a weird spot—they’ve got this premise that seems pretty funny and pretty loaded, but they might not be able to go too far in either direction in fear of offending either (a) homophobes or (b) gays. Which might leave this thing floundering in the safe middleground, which is the last place that comedy happens. Anyway, we’ll see. Trailer below. Thoughts?

A “fuck the police” tag written with a swastika on a WWI memorial downtown has angered Dieselboi over at Metroblogging Portland:

I don’t fucking care what your politics are. I don’t fucking care if you are a street kid or live in a Pearl loft. I don’t fucking care if you hate this current war or not. I don’t fucking care if you have been wronged by the police. Defacing a memorial to the dead is horrible. How would you feel if someone showed up at your parent’s grave and pissed on it? How would you feel if someone dug up your childhood pet and threw it in the trash? How would you feel if someone went to your best friend or former lover’s grave site and knocked over the tombstone?

The tag, Diesel speculates, was left over from the anarchist protest that took place following the peace march two weeks ago—it’s on the same block. Diesel has taken some stick for being so “fuckity fuck fuck fuck” about the situation, but it’s sad that the memorial was tagged like this, and I say, good on him for saying how he felt about it…

Commander in Chief? More like Commander in Chuckle! Bush makes with the funny at the annual Radio and Television Correspondents’ dinner.

Karl Rove, e-busted! But even weirder than that, look at the picture of him in that link. Does his book say “War” in the title? That can’t be good.

The ghost of the Crocodile Hunter is set to appear in his daughters’ TV show. Watch as she seeks revenge on the sea creature that murdered her father.

Don’t you dare go to Thailand and insult King Bhumibol Adulyadej. Trust me, I was just there and Thais worship that guy. If you do talk-shit about him, prepare to spend ten years in jail.

PGE Park is now free of those damn trans fats. This is good news for Portland Timbers’ grizzled lumberjack mascot, Timber Jim. He needs to stay slender when using that chainsaw of his. Also, lay off the pancakes dude, those are just empty carbs. I know you’re a lumberjack at all, but would a fruit plate in the morning be so bad?

…and it don’t look so good.

At tonight’s monthly meeting of the Personal Telco Project, two PTP members unveiled the preliminary results of their independent evaluation of the city’s Unwire PDX program—the proposed citywide wifi blanket being rolled out by California-based company MetroFi.

After a good 45 minutes of methodological explanations and technical jargon, Russell Senior and Caleb Phillips unveiled their findings: In the first-phase, “proof of concept” area (downtown and central city), they found that MetroFi’s network worked about half the time.

Russell Senior and Caleb Phillips with their testing contraption, photo by Sam Churchill of dailywireless.org

According to the bid the city granted to the company, MetroFi has to show at least 90 percent coverage in the test area—but only outdoors—to continue on with the rest of the city. Even if you’re not a tech geek, you can probably do the math on that one. There’s more explanation after the jump.

There are currently 72 active MetroFi access nodes (you've probably seen them above utility poles)--the nodes are supposed to broadcast a signal in either a 500-foot or 1,000-foot radius, depending on who you ask. So Senior and Phillips--who lost a bid to do the Unwire evaluation, but opted to do testing for free anyway--chose a number of spots within those fields, randomly selected by GIS software, and hauled around a testing device that resembled a coat rack loaded down with receiving gear--the perfect combination of high and low tech.

Of 39 random spots placed within 500 feet of access nodes, they were able to connect 20 times, and failed 19 times. When they tested between the 500- and 1,000-foot zone, they were only able to connect 12 times, failing 27 times. Overall, that's a failure rate of about 60 percent.

Yipes!

The results are still preliminary--Senior and Phillips will release a full analysis later. Meanwhile, a separate firm, Boulder, Colorado-based firm Uptown Services, is expected to unveil the results of its own evaluation by April 12, according to the city's Unwire manager, Logan Kleier. Comparing their findings to Senior and Phillips' should be interesting.

Anecdotally, the general rule for Unwire access appears to be "if you can see an access node, you have a chance of connecting; if you can't see the hardware, you're probably out of luck."

Of course, this is all testing outdoors only--and who in Portland uses their laptop outdoors, on the sidewalk? Once you go indoors, unless you're at a window near an access point, you're unlikely to get a signal unless you have additional boosting hardware.

That belies the city's stated goal of providing internet access to people and families who can't otherwise afford it. Michael Burmeister-Brown might have another solution.

Burmeister-Brown, who spoke at the PTP meeting, is one of the co-founders of Net Equality, which installs wireless networks in low-income housing complexes. Instead of building the network from the outside-in, the way MetroFi works, Net Equality installs wifi routers inside of the complexes. That way, the internet signals only have to penetrate through interior apartment walls, and not external concrete walls and weatherproof glass.

I’m not a big fan (of the dust jacket), but here’s what the seventh and final Harry Potter book will look like.

Check out the AP story here…
Film Editor Erik Henriksen says it’s awesome, like “Harry’s using a spell to levitate the title with his hand.” Personally I think it’s boring and lackluster.
What are your thoughts fellow nerdlings?

Burger King is aiming, over the “next few months,” for 2 percent of its eggs to come from “cage free” chickens, and 10 percent of its pork to come from farms that allow sows to move around inside their pens, rather than being confined to crates.

It might be a start, and it might be the start of something better, but I’m sorry, Burger King, that’s not enough for me to want to run out and eat a Whopper. I’d rather go to Burgerville.

Even after the changes, 98 percent of the firm’s eggs (39.2 million pounds of eggs a year) will come from caged chickens, and 90 percent of its pork (31.5 million pounds a year) from arguably inhumane conditions. I’m not sure who lobbied to get the New York Times to have this story BK’s way, but it sure reads like shilling to me.

Of course, if companies like BK want to make changes, they have to start somewhere. Perhaps I’m being too hard on them. Actually, no, no, I’m definitely not being too hard on them. This just doesn’t go far enough.

State Senator Doug Whitsett (R-Klamath Falls) has just sent out a “capitol update” trumpeting House Republicans’ support for Senate Bill 798 and House Bill 3535, which would set aside 1 percent of the state’s general fund to increase the number of state troopers on Oregon highways.

The State Police Patrol Division has been reduced by over half of its patrol officers during the last 25 years, while Oregon’s population has increased by 38%. This bill provides a budget of nearly $140 million for the Oregon State Police Patrol Division, an amount almost double what they received in their last budget. This provides the long overdue stable revenue source necessary to restore the patrol division to a force adequate to serve Oregon’s needs.

Anybody who’s seen Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 9-11 knows that Oregon’s state patrol department is laughably underfunded—to the point where it’s a wonder it even exists at all. But what Whitsett fails to mention here is that it was Republican leadership who slashed the state patrol division’s budget last session, cutting 20 patrol positions. The chair of that budget committee was then-majority (and now—ha ha!—minority leader) leader Wayne Scott.

Whitsett was around in 2005—you’d think that if funding for state troopers was such a top priority for him this year, he might remember who it was that royally screwed them two years ago.

Tonight on the tube:
• On LOST (ABC, 10 pm) Sun finally discovers why The Others kidnapped her. (I suspect it has something to do with her being hot.)

• On AMERICAN IDOL (FOX, 9 PM), another poor, unsuspecting dork is voted off. GO SANJAYA’S PONY-HAWK!

• On AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL (CW, 8 pm), the girls try to make up for last week’s faux pas where they posed as mutilated corpses, by posing as men (who mutilate corpses).

• And on SOUTH PARK (COMEDY CENTRAL, 10 pm), it’s big trouble when Hillary Clinton comes to town, and Cartman discovers a new Muslim student who OBVIOUSLY must be tortured… 24-style!

And by the way! Though THE SOPRANOS doesn’t return until April 8, here’s the trailer for the sixth and FINAL season. Who you think is gonna get whacked, you fuckin’ mook!?

Few franchises fill me with as much ire as The X-Files, Fox’s once brilliant TV series that slowly morphed into a so-so movie, a painful spinoff series, and eventually, by its final seasons, something that basically amounted to a cruel parody of its former self. The first few seasons of The X-Files were excellent… and then, as it became readily apparent that showrunner Chris Carter was full of shit about, you know, the series’ entire plot, the show rapidly degenerated. By that time, star David Duchovny had bailed, the movie had impressed no one, and The X-Files, like a puppy who’d been run over by an 18-wheeler, was eventually put out of its whimpering misery.

Much to the delight of those who frequent both comic conventions and UFO web groups, Duchovny’s been talking about another X-Files movie ever since the first one, but according to Cinematical, this time he might actually mean it. As far as I’m concerned, The X-Files already had its chance to make a great movie (or even continue being a great TV series), but totally blew it. I’m as curious as anyone else to see what they might concoct for another cinematic outing, but part of me wants to keep The X-Files dead and buried. I mean, it got bad. Really bad.

A man mysteriously died last night at 129th and SE Division after fighting over a parking space.

According to the cops, 39-year-old Robert Duerksen collapsed in his apartment and died after complaining of a breathing problem during the fight with his neighbor, 33-year-old Christopher Michael Jordan.

The Medical Examiner conducted an autopsy this morning—but was unable to determine a cause of death for Duerksen.

The death has been classified as a Homicide pending the results of a toxicology examination.

Does this strike you as a little weird? It does me, that’s for sure…

PIO Brian Schmautz says: “Normally, we would get a cause of death from the medical examiner. But without one we are left looking to the toxicology tests for a reason.”

“One of the risks of law enforcement is we do encounter people who are medically fragile for a number of reasons and the public is often hesitant to await the cause of death,” he adds.

I have long since gotten over any moral or cultural superiority I might have once felt towards Oprah’s Book Club. If Oprah can get a bunch of hausfraus reading, and engage a large segment of the population in a discussion about books, good for her, and good for society as a whole. I’d kind of rather see all these lapsed readers going out and picking their own books and not reading whatever their favorite TV figure tells them to read, but that attitude is dicky and pointless.

But I was shocked (shocked, I tell you) to see today that Oprah selected Cormac McCarthy’s The Road as the newest book for her book club. Seeing the headline felt kind of like if my Uncle Ed asked me over Thanksgiving dinner how I felt about the new Ghostface album. The Road is quite literally one of the most powerful reading experiences I’ve had in my adult life (my review is here), but it’s a radically bleak and dark novel, with flashes of pure horror. Not the kind of stuff I pictured Oprah’s demographic getting off on. (Hats off to Oprah ofor the bold decision.)

I’ve been enjoying the hell lately out of the online Tournament of Books, where books are pitted aginst one another every day in bracketed competition, and The Road has been kicking ass and taking names as it advances in the tourney. Says Tournament guest judge Mark Sarvas:

“It’s easy to be suspicious of the praise lumped upon McCarthy, but The Road is unlike any book you’ve read in a long time, absolutely unrelenting in its scorched bleakness. A father and son wander the roads of post-apocalyptic America, which is little more than tangles of burned trees, ash-strewn vistas, impenetrably gray skies and empty, looted buildings. McCarthy has created a remarkable absolute—there’s simply nothing: no sound, no movement, no food, no shelter, no clothes, no hope, not even the hope of hope. The occasional presence of other people can only signify danger and death. McCarthy’s prose is succinct, pellucid, and as unadorned as the blighted landscape. The Road is, above all, an examination of the bonds between all fathers and sons, in which its two nameless characters are brought tragically to life.”

So a powerful work of literature that stirred up all sorts of things inside of me is being promoted by the most influential billionaire TV show host in the world, whose fanbase is, precisely, my stepmother. Eight years ago this would have made me mental, but today, I can’t for the life of me, figure out why.

Due to a TiVo freak out of monumental proportions, I missed last night’s ep of AMERICAN IDOL: The Gwen Stefani Edition! If you did too, then fret not—because according to everybody on the internet, SANJAYA’S “PONY-HAWK” stole the show right out from under Gwen! What’s a “pony-hawk”? Well… it’s like a mohawk… made with ponytails… and… and… oh, just watch the video. (I gotta say, as long as Sanjaya keeps distracting people from his lousy voice, he’s going to stay in this competition.)

P.S. If Sanjaya’s voice begins to remind you of chewing on aluminum foil, skip to the 2:35 mark when Simon comes in.

Alison posted yesterday about the Ruby, Lucy Brenner’s beet-infused vodka drink at Mint/820, highlighted in Imbibe magazine. We had to try it out.

This morning, we started infusing:

By Friday afternoon, we should be mixing up cocktails.