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Friday, March 9, 2007
Drunk Dear Hippies of Portland
Posted by on Fri, Mar 9 at 4:30 PM
As you may have noticed, ridding Portland from the scourge of hippies has been the Mercury’s main reason for existence. And while we have been partially successful, we still have a LOT of work to do, and the fight truly never ends. However, there are those who question our mission, asking, “What’s your problem with hippies?” Well, I think there are numerous reasons to hate hippies, but the main one is obviously their MOP-TOP HAIRSTYLES. That sort of girly, over-the-ears hairdo may be all the rage in your “flower power” communes, but it certainly doesn’t cut military muster, and makes Portland look like a goddam androgynous pig farm.
EVEN WORSE? It sets a horrible example for the female members of our population, who are being coerced into adopting this disgustingly hairy hairstyle for themself. DON’T BELIEVE ME?
LISTEN TO THIS SONG from Donna Lynn entitled “MY BOYFRIEND GOT A BEATLE HAIRCUT.” It may be from 1964, but its lyrics send shivers up my spine, and is a harbinger of a hippie-filled future we must avoid at all cost.
Eff YOU, Hippie! (Oh, and thanks to The Record Robot.)
Comments
ummm no, hippie hate is the fashion that's always in style. I am relieved that regular old hipsters are a fickle bunch and have started abandoning yesterdays' hirsute, "psychedelic" fad and are moving on to whatever today's trend is. This aimless trend adoption is like dirty bath water down the drain, it separates the soap from the scum and makes it easy to know what needs cleaning.
androgynous pig farm says it all.
Continuing to draw adversial lines between hippies, yuppies, GenX, the middle class, corporations, small business and folk in general is not constructive. We're all here. How we can work effectively together should be our focus. Unless , of course, we think everyone should think and act just like us. That presents another kind of problem, often encountered by dictators.
Um.. The "androgynous pig farm" you speak of comes packed with tons beards and staches.. a trend that is in full peak allover the world not just Pdx.
Your 13-yo bitch bitch issue has more to do with shaggy haircuts, and nothing to do with hippie culture. Most OG hippies I know barely eat so that they can fight for equalities (and share tons of drugs), plus they are ALL clean-cut in preppy attire.. SERIOUSLY, hippie-dom is a state of mind not a fucking haircut.
There are more rational/hip ways to show people some dumb song you think is cool.
This post caused me to remove you from my aggregator. I think I'm also going to stop waisting my time reading the hard copy of your weekly.
I can tolerate a certain amount of hatred and aggression, but this is just a plain waist of time.
May I suggest that if, in the future, you don't have anything to say, take a break from writing. Maybe read a book?
Ack! Whenever someone removes me from their aggregator, baby Jesus strangles a kitten!
I would like to see the Mercury sponsor a hippie beauty pageant.
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Bagging on hippies is so tired, Humphrey. It's like wearing a zoot suit and being into swing dancing and the rat pack or something. Over.