• NERD ALERT ONE! This Sunday brings us part one of the two-part BATTLESTAR GALACTICA season finale, wherein that creepy creep Dr. Baltar goes on trial for crimes against humanity. Call in Johnny Cochran!

• NERD ALERT TWO! In a valiant effort to keep VERONICA MARS from being cancelled, creator Rob Thomas plans to pitch a show where Veronica is a FBI trainee — in the agency’s special “Lingerie Division.”

• RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES! Original Buffy KRISTY SWANSON and Mr. Show’s DAVID CROSS will appear as people who are remarkably similar to Anna Nicole Smith and Howard K. Stern in an upcoming Law & Order: Criminal Intent. FINALLY! A reason to watch this show!

• UMMM… EW! According to the 60 Minutes interview airing this Sunday, American Idol b-hole SIMON COWELL was once offered 100 grand to watch a couple make love and then critique them. Randy Jackson agreed to step in when he learned the couple was doing it “DOG-gy style.” Ouch. That’s not funny.