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Thursday, March 8, 2007
Portland Marketing Portland
Posted by on Thu, Mar 8 at 2:28 PM
Apparently the Portland, Oregon Visitors Association is trying to come up with a new campaign to lure visitors to town… there’s a poll—take it here, if you want (you could win a video iPod)—asking people to associate qualities with Portland. The options are really annoying.
For starters, it’s relying on the standard Portland rap—in the part asking people to name the attributes that best describe Portland, options like “Friendly,” “Hip/Creative/Indie,” “Outdoor Activities,” and “Quirky” are offered. Then, you’re supposed to compare and contrast Portland’s qualities with other cities’ offerings (“Which ONE of these other cities do you consider QUIRKY?), including Albuquerque, Denver, Phoenix, and Salt Lake City. Talk about yawners—I chose Vancouver and Seattle as much as possible, as I’d much rather we strive to be like those spots than Albuquerque… do these people plan on marketing Portland to my grandparents?
Finally, the poll offers three “themes” that ostensibly describe Portland. You’re asked to choose if they hit the mark or not. You be the judge (if you can decipher them):
• Unique combination of natural excitement and cosmopolitan sophistication – the best of both worlds.
• Non-traditional, highly original, stimulating and different experience – hip, creative and progressive.
• Fun and quirky personality by being good-natured, candid, evocative, unexpected, offbeat – breaking the rules.
But wait, there’s more! Here are some possible taglines:
• Urban style. Natural state. (This one is especially annoying, given that “Urban” was not a quality you could choose to describe Portland—though “natural beauty” and “clean” were. If we’re marketing Portland, should we be marketing the fact that it’s a city?)
• Where Nature and Culture Meet.
• Originality reigns.
• Nothing dry about it. (SERIOUSLY???)
I refused to leave my name. No iPod for me.
Comments
Sorry to disappoint. I was busy poking my eye out over "Where Nature and Culture Meet."
How about "Portland, a nice place to visit, but if one more of you move here, we'll all blow our brains out."?
Or "You will blow your own brains out from the massive amount of gray rainy days!"
How about:
"Portland, a nice place to visit, but if one more of you move here, the people who are nostalgic for Portland circa-1972 will blow their brains out. So, need help unpacking?"
Well, I don't remember what I said anymore, but I put my name in, so that video iPod is sure to be mine. All mine.
How about: Portland where we renovate historic buildings rather than tearing them down to build wal-marts (except in the Pearl District were we DO tear them down to build condos.
How about:
"Portland, a nice place to visit, but if one more of you move here, the people who are nostalgic for Portland circa-1972 will blow their brains out. So, need help unpacking your gun so I can take it from you and blow everybody's brains out and continue to work renovating this old building when I'm not building a tram or being nostalgic about a time with 46% fewer Cooper minis and a 45 minute wait for brunch?"
Wait! Wait!
Portland Oregon,
Gay & Soggy!
Portland Oregon,
Smart & Bloggy!
Portland Oregon,
Strippers & Doggies!
Have you guys seen the more recent comments on this post? They've gotten...ahem...interesting.
http://www.portlandmercury.com/blogtown/2007/02/microcosm_leaving_portland_1.php
The thought of government committees and commissions coming up with marketing slogans is what makes me want to blow my brains out.
What are we marketing anyway? And to whom? Golfers who fly in planes a lot?
Fuck them. If people aren't smart enough to figure out Portland on their own, I say we don't want them.
But while we're at it, how about:
"Portland, Oregon. Fuck you Indianapolis."
"Hey doughboy. You know that super hot chick who was a little punk rock who used to smoke nails in 9th grade? She lives in Portland, Oregon now."
"Don't like the rain? Move on."
This is just a badly designed survey. Period. It's what those in the statistical and qualitative data profession would call leading and unviable. Specifically, without a "none of the above" option for the questions, it only allows chosing options that may not fit the survey takers opinions or beliefs in order to be allowed to answer the next question and get a chance at the golden I-Pod. This leads to very fallible results.
In plain English: this survey sucks.
Which first question? The one in the actual poll (I think I put very), or the one I blogged about? I think I did friendly, progressive, and filled in urban. I may have picked hip/creative/indie, as that's how a lot of people see the town.
Hell man, I just moved away (leaving more room for y'all...you are welcome). I filled it out AND I'll take that iPod, yessir!!!
Bad bad bad survey.
"Yeah, we're Little FUCKING Beirut. Wanna make something of it?"
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Why is there no Albuquerque/I'll Be Quirky joke in this post.