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The sheer volume of fan mail I get on a daily basis makes it difficult for me to read any individual letters. I’ve got a team of interns who rubberstamp form response letters, since I haven’t got time for the adulation.
But every once in a while, one comes to my attention that I can’t ignore—no matter how much I try. This is one of those:


You're my favorite non-gay bear!
... from Penisylvania.
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This letter does bring up a rather valid point. Maybe it's time for you to change your name.
What's your middle name and the street you grew up on? Mine is Louis Bluff.