This week’s Mercury is all about pork—but did you know, PORK IS GOING TO WAR? At least, metaphorically. This morning’s New York Times carries an op-ed piece by Thomas Schatz, accusing Oregon rep Peter DeFazio, and Washington’s new Democratic leadership of tacking a “shameless” $20 billion in “unrelated spending” onto President Bush’s $103 billion request for more war money. For Schatz, “pork” is all about excess. The extra money will go towards fisheries, eradicating crickets, and funding people who grow Christmas trees. I don’t understand it, really—how are Christmas trees made of pork? What’s that about?

I just know that PORK IS GOING TO WAR! PORK IS GOING TO WAR! PORK IS GOING TO WAR! PORK IS GOING TO WAR! PORK IS GOING TO WAR! Now, try to get that out of your head for the rest of the morning.