In response to a serious “glaring” by b!X over his vote to extend the Drug Free Zones another six months, City Commissioner Erik Sten has chimed in right here on Blogtown to defend his vote. I’m reposting it here, because I’m afraid it’ll get lost, and I have some follow-up questions. I love it when public policy plays out in public.

I do feel the glare from b!X, and it’s reasonable. Had my “no” vote ended the drug-free zones I would not have offered the “courtesy” vote. The actual result, however, would have been the removal of the emergency clause. Then the measure would have passed 3-1 (4-1 had Sam not left) and there would be no drug free zone for 26 days.

While that would have made a point, it actually would create a tough situation on the street as people would not know when the thing was in place and when it wasn’t. I didn’t see much gain in that.

I tried to get 2 more votes to end this thing, as we clearly didn’t do what was promised in the last year, and no one was interested.

I voted against the zones ten years ago and have worked to amend or get rid of them every time they have come up since then.

Last year the Mayor pledged to fix them. While he did make some improvements, it was nothing close to what was promised. I hope at the end of this next period, that he will deliver on the promised reforms or two colleagues will join me in delivering on the promise we made a year ago.

Erik

Posted by Erik Sten - April 14, 2007 7:44 AM

1. It’s good to see Commissioner Sten (who I believe is a closet Blogtown addict) piping up here.
2. Wouldn’t the unenforceable period have actually been 30-something days? If the ordinance became non-emergency, there’d have to be another reading next week, and then 30 days before the extension went into effect. No?
3. The real question: Couldn’t that month or more of non-enforcement have been used as a springboard to say, “We’re already suspending it for a month—why not make it six months while the oversight committee is conducting its research and analysis?”

The thing with the I, Anonymous column is that, naturally, the number of submissions, and more importantly good submissions tends to ebb and flow. The prevailing theory has been that people write more I, Anonymouses during the winter, because the weather sucks and the mood is generally more poopy. However, I have come to disagree. This past winter I was kind of hurting in the Anonymous Dept, but now that it’s spring they have been rolling in at quite a clip. Allow me to direct your attention to the sad little ghettoized corner of our web site where people can post directly onto the I, Anonymous forum (ha! remember those!), where a few of my pet favorites are simmering, waiting for their turn to possibly be printed. This person has something to say about a wanna-be DJ, and this person has a beef with a cruel dental assistant. Meanwhile, the estate sale scene in this town has been deemed unacceptable, there’s an oddly compelling rant about how we should all start crapping and barfing in the street and—my favorite—this guy wrote an open letter to his cyst. Enjoy! And remember that I, Anonymous is always here when you need to blow off steam and/or confess your evil—yet maliciously clever—deeds.

An 18-year-old Jefferson High student is suing the Portland Police Bureau and the dean of students at the school, alleging she was handcuffed for an hour after officers heard her cousin tell the dean to “shut up.” Here’s the lawsuit allegation:

On March 2, 2006, defendant Officers Charles Lovell and Ron Cash grabbed plaintiff Abie Ilias, placed her in handcuffs and detained her for more than an hour. The officers took these measures after hearing plaintiff’s cousin tell defendant Dean of Students Donald Johnson to “shut up” and seeing the girls ignore a campus security officer’s command to stop. Neither action constitutes a crime and it would have been unreasonable for the officers to believe that plaintiff had committed a crime.

The suit alleges the Officers threatened to “take the plaintiff downtown” unless she absolved them of fault, compelling her to say that she was “just having a bad day.” Ilias was a 16-year-old honors student at the time. The lawsuit further alleges:

The prolonged detention and use of handcuffs was unnecessary, malicious, and with reckless or deliberate disregard for plaintiff’s well-established constitutional right not to be subjected to an unreasonable seizure of her person.

The suit seeks undisclosed damages to be decided at trial. Lawyers for the girl are yet to return a call for comment, and it is against the Police Bureau’s policy to comment on open lawsuits.

“Any time the police become involved, it’s their situation,” says Matt Shelby—a spokesman for Portland Public Schools.

According to an AP story I just read on THE INTERNET, “Some university researchers with the federal government’s blessing” are looking into what it would take to scrap our beloved internet and start over from scratch.

As crazy as it sounds, they believe a “clean slate” is the only way to really address the problems with the internet, mainly, how to spy on terrorists and ex-girlfriends on myspace without being detected.

It’s easy to see how they’re considering scrapping this whole internet thing, after all, what has the internet really done except allow us to email each other funny clips from YouTube that we saw on TV the night before?

Well, there are no mentions of scratching her nails down his back, or going down on him in a movie theater, but here’s KELLY CLARKSON’S newest leaked single “Never Again” in which she gives that no-good ex-bf of hers the Alanis Morissette treatment. Sure, it might not have the nearly out-of-control psychopathiness of Alanis, but in this case, that might be a good thing!
Listen to Kelly’s “NEVER AGAIN,” here!

Thanks Idolator!

Have you been to Daytrotter recently? No? Why not? You hate good music or something?

Run by Mercury freelancer Sean Moeller, the site is hands-down the best indie music site on the net. Daytrotter not only interviews some amazing bands (Bonnie Prince Billy, The Ponys, Brother Ali), it seduces them to record live sets at their studio, Futureappletree Studio One, in downtown Rock Island, Illinois.

Few weeks back, they had local popsters The Kingdom over for some cheap beer, sports talk and a cool recording session.

Here is the Daytrotter version of Love Is My Nation.

Spotted in the top banner ad slot on BlueOregon.com:

Click for a bigger version.

Yes, that says “Paid for by McCain 2008.”

Of course, there’s this disclaimer:

I’ll say!

Remember the game on the Bozo the Clown show where kids had to toss a ping-pong ball into large buckets in order to win prizes? Well this guy would’ve been a god on that show.
If beer pong ever becomes an Olympic sport, I don’t think there’s a frat guy on the planet that could beat him.

Arghhh! (Is that what pirates say? I think I may be unqualified to participate in this event. But I am adept at reading maps!)

Anyway, Sunday on Hawthorne, don your pirate duds and hit the Dollar Scholar (3279 SE Hawthorne; 235-2222). There, pick up a map between 11am and 4pm, and head to the participating stores. At each one, you’ll have to “fill in the blanks, true or false, find something, or do a task,” to complete the hunt. Back at the Dollar Scholar with your completed map, you’ve got a chance at prizes.

Here’s the best part. The grand prize?

From Hawthorne Cutlery: A REAL PIRATE HAND GUN, valued at $70.00.

Sorry kids, gotta be 18 or over to win that prize.

So, I can’t shut up about the new Clorox Girls record, J’aime le Filles…so what? Anyway, as mentioned in this week’s episode of 3-Minute Limit, J’aime le Filles includes a cover of Le Banana Split by Belgian 80’s pop sensation Lio….AND I CAN’T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD! Join me in the curse:

Mmmmmmm, dessert!

Call it what you will—publicly funded campaigns, Voter-Owned Elections, clean money, campaign finance reform, pet project boondoggle—the city’s system of giving money to qualified city council candidates has gotten approval from the Citizens Campaign Commission, which has just released its final report on reforming the system.

For more than a year, the commission has been gathering information for its final report on the program—and what with Emilie Boyles, Volodymyr Golovan, the fact that the only non-incumbent who qualified lost by a big margin at the ballot, the Portland Business Alliance trying and failing to shut the program down, etc., the commission has had plenty to look at. It just delivered the final report to city council.

In case you forgot, the program gives $145,000 to city council candidates who are able to raise 1,000 $5 contributions from individuals. It’s intended to incentivize grassroots campaigning, encourage candidates from underrepresented communities to run, and lower the overall amount of spending on local campaigns. The 2006 primary was its first run.

Among the committee’s recommendations for change: 1. Require that all $5 contributions come from registered Portland voters, not just Portland residents. 2. Keep the contribution amounts and qualifying numbers (1,000 donors) the same. 3. Remove the massive penalties if someone mistakenly gets a signature and donation from someone who isn’t a registered voter. 4. Use triplicate forms in order to give receipts and keep better recording of signatures. 5. Move the qualifying period up by three months. 6. Make all VOE candidate go through training, so they can’t use the Emilie Boyles excuse that they didn’t understand the rules.

Get the full report here.

This week on 3-Minute Limit, host Lance Chess showcases music from Portland’s own Clorox Girls, who just released a new album entitled J’aime Les Filles. Last night they kicked off a six-month long tour here in town. Did anyone catch the show at Valentines?

Click here to listen to the podcast.

A few days ago Blogtown brought you news that the Timbers Army was being banned from bringing flag poles into PGE Park. Timbers’ management has changed its mind, and allowed 3-foot poles to be allowed in.

Just last night I was thinking how Jimmy Corrigan: The Smartest Kid on Earth is one of my very favorite books of the past decade, but Chris Ware has yet to have that kind of effect on me since. Mostly, I feel that his work is all style now (mind you, I don’t follow every bit of it)—it has the signature Chris Ware look, and the signature Chris Ware tone (melancholy verging on suicidal) with none of that elusive effect wherein I have to stop reading, put the book in my lap, and just stare at the ceiling fo a few minutes.

I ran across this long interview with Ware today, and it’s reignited my interest in his work. Any Ware fans out there have suggestions for what his second best book is?

PS—How many more years/decades will every interview with a graphic novelist consist entirely of defending comics as a legitimate art/literary form? Is it some journalist requirement that you have to ask Daniel Clowes whether or not he thinks graphic novels are finally getting the attention they deserve? Do we really need another quote from Alison Bechdel about how her book might not be taken as seriously as if it were written in prose? Can we just drop this line of questioning for 10 years? Just a brief moratorium on this line of inquiry, after which we can pick the conversation back up, if we really feel it’s necessary. Please?

A few weeks ago, we held a contest in honor of our special food issue entitled “An All-American Salute to Pork.” The contest was called Squeal Like a Pig, wherein Mercury readers would call a special voice mail number, and then SQUEEEEEEEAL LIKE A PIG! Our top four squealers won $25 gift certificates to Gartner’s Meats!

This podcast showcases our four winners, the runner-ups, and a few honorable mentions. So what are you waiting for? Go on now, piggies! Git, git, git it right here!

In celebration of Friday the 13th, I found this nice little montage of scenes from all of the Friday the 13th movies featuring the character that made me check under my bed until I was 14-years-old, Jason.

Be warned, there is excessive use of cornstarch and red food dye. What’s your favorite Friday the 13th movie, or the freakiest thing that’s ever happened to you on this day?

This Sunday marks the 60th anniversary of Jackie Robinson’s entry in Major Leagues Baseball with The Brooklyn Dodgers. In his honor, numerous African-American players will be wearing No. 42 jerseys to pay tribute to him.

It’s easy to forget how absolutely incredible of a person Robinson was, and the affect he had on not just sports, but the entire country. He overcame the hatred of fans and teammates, and somehow never lost his cool in the process, famously saying “I’m not concerned with your liking or disliking me… all I ask is that you respect me as a human being.”

Another super bizarre clip from Japanese television, here’s a video supposedly made for CHILDREN, entitled “Shaking Hands.” But if you really wanted to attract kids, why would you include a toilet with teeth, or a grown man dressed as Captain Underpants? OR A TURD WEARING A COWBOY HAT??
WHY?? WHY????

Tips to Butternut Jelly!

Another beauty post, this one for the chorus of BlogTown citizens who cry gentrification every time I say the word “massage.” Starting Monday, and through the 22nd, Portland will be having a “spa week,” wherein four local spas are offering services for $50 that normally cost much more. Here are the options:

Massage on the Go (8879 SW Center, Tigard):
• 60-minute Swedish massage with either a reflexology foot soak treatment OR a hot steam mini facial
• 45 minute deep tissue massage
• 60 minute stress relief massage

Salon Nyla (327 SW Pine):
• 60 minute massage OR Aveda Facial
• 60 minute Aveda salt glow body treatment OR a hot/cold rosemary mint pedicure
• Love Locks Aveda hair coloring

Spa Sassé (630 SW Alder):
• 60 minute full body massage OR European facial
• Ultimate spa pedicure OR bliss foot treatment
• Laser hair removal for lip, chin, bikini, or underarm OR one small laser tattoo removal

The Dragon Tree (2768 NW Thurman):
• 30 minute daydream facial with 30 minute milk and honey foot bath
• 30 minute head, neck, and shoulder massage with 25 minute paraffin dip for hands and feet
• 30 minute Swedish massage with 30 minute aromatherapy foot bath

So, if you want to see how the other half lives for the bargain price of $50, call and make your appointment for the 16th-22nd—and hurry, before they all fill up.

This week’s Street Roots editorial follows up on the Mercury’s March 29 story about Portland’s Private Police, calling for more public oversight of downtown’s so-called private security officers, who will shortly be charged with issuing verbal warnings on the street when the mayor’s controversial sit/lie ordinance is enacted.

The private cops, who work for Portland Patrol, Inc. (which is funded by the Portland Business Alliance) are already charged with issuing park exclusions (Street Roots found that more than 300 park exclusions have been issued by PPI officers), work closely with downtown police, but don’t have to answer questions from reporters, or the public, about their activities. Street Roots writes:

But if security officers are out there reporting for the police, issuing park exclusions and questioning people on public property, the public should have equal opportunity to get answers in return.

Exactly. What do we know about these private security officers? If they have the same skills as police officers, why aren’t they working as cops? What kind of background checks do they undergo? If they’re expected to be first-responders to deal with the homeless and the mentally ill in one of Portland’s most difficult neighborhoods, what kind of training are they given? Just who the heck are these people, anyway? These are the questions we should be asking. What about you, Blog Town readers? What do you think?

Yours for only $17.99…NEWS, “BEAR” ALL!

1. CBS fires racial slurrer Don Imus, who has been worth $15m a year to the network in advertising revenue. Asked why they didn’t do the deed a week ago, CBS reps asked if you actually fucking read that last sentence.

2. Don’t feel too sorry for the Duke lacrosse team:

They were part of a team that collected $800 to purchase the time of two strippers. Their team specifically requested at least one white stripper. During the incident, racial epithets were hurled at the strippers.Colin Finnerty was charged with assault in Washington, DC, in 2005.The young men were able to retain a battery of top-flight attorneys, investigators and media strategists.

3. Beleagured, slammed, trashed, and on the verge of being buggered by the city’s food critics, Portland restaurant and “dead horse” Ten-01 gets a new chef. Mercury food editor Alison Hallett can’t wait to try their “fucking dollar duck sliders” at happy hour. Stampede!

4. Madonna wants to adopt another beautiful stranger…and yes, there are still plenty more of her songs I’m waiting to employ in “Good Morning, News!!” headlines. At this point, I’m barely even into the groove…

5. Airline to offer $14 flights between New York and London. I’m off down the Coach and Horses in Soho, mate…see you on Monday!

Well, jeeeez. While I was out being a good reporter, everybody in town but me got news that two Portland City Club committees have decided to say a big fat NO to two of the proposed changes to Portland’s charter, including the form of government change.

Two separate City Club committees looked at Ballot Measure 26-91 (which would change the form of government to strong mayor) and 26-92 (which would make city council the budget committee for the Portland Development Commission). They’ve said no to both.

[T]he proponents of [26-91] did not make an adequate showing that the problems they identified with city government either are related to the current form of government or would be solved by the proposed changes. Moreover, the committee concluded that the present commission form of government has served Portland well in some ways, and the committee was not convinced that the proposed form would maintain the strengths of the current form. The report concluded: “[W]hile the proposed form of government would likely promote greater efficiency in city government, the changes would also jeopardize the innovation and resiliency that benefit Portland under the current form… .[Y]our committee believes that the mayor and City Council can and must cooperate to make Portland’s commission form of government operate more effectively, while preserving the resiliency and creativity that is possible with our current form of government.”

As for the PDC measure: ““PDC’s relative independence from City Hall is its greatest asset. While a 2005 City Club report called for changes in PDC’s relationship with City Hall and the planning bureau, as well as a better system for collecting and using input from citizens, your committee believes Measure 26-92 would be a significant step in the wrong direction.”

That has got to sting to pro-change campaign. City Club committees have previously voted in favor of changing to a strong mayor government, which must make this no vote especially painful. The club as a whole won’t vote on a position until April 20.

Peep the full reports here.

Update: Oh snap! I just started going through the full reports. The one opposing 26-91 specifically tears down the Citizens to Reform City Hall’s main arguments—that the current form of government is responsible for the water billing problems, the tram cost overruns, and Columbia Sportswear leaving the city—arguing that none of those things had anything to do with the form of government. Yeeee-ow. As above, when your three biggest arguments get shot down by an impartial organization that has previously supported similar changes, you’ve gotta feel a little ouchy.

Wow. That is all I can say right now, after having just returned from the totally inspiring Lifesavas performance (and musical history lesson) at Hiphop 101. Today’s event, held at Jefferson High, was the final class and in addition to Beat Jeopardy and some mixtape homework (note: All the high schoolers there knew WAY more about hiphop’s history than I did.), the classes’ teacher Vursatyl capped it all off with an amazing performance by The Lifesavas.

I really can’t stress how incredible it was to hear Vursatyl teach about hiphop to an eager group of kids who were starving to learn more. We’ll have a lot more on the Lifesavas in next week’s paper, and to see more photos from this afternoon, they are after the jump.

Every media outlet in town (save for this one—something about a dead horse…) has ripped on ten01, the Pearlie restaurant owned by the folks behind Tabla and billed as a dining destination for theater going audiences (and rich people).

Somebody got the memo.

I just got a press release announcing that not only has ten01 changed PR firms, they’re bringing in a new executive chef, effective in May. The question I pose to you food savvy Blogtowners is… Does this ever work? Zero-hour scrambling to salvage a restaurant that’s been universally panned? The successful transformation of the uninteresting and poorly received Balvo into the much more popular 23 Hoyt comes to mind—but in that case, in addition to changes in the kitchen, the restaurant got a name change and a facelift. I can’t think of anything else off the top of my head, but then, I received a bottle of delicious SQUARE ONE ORGANIC VODKA in the mail today, and, well, I’m a little bit drunk.

Having never eaten at ten01 before—that sort of uber spendy PNW pseudoposh doesn’t really turn me on—the recent changes have piqued my interest. Fucking dollar duck sliders during happy hour? Finally, news about this place that might actually get me in the door.

Press release after the jump.

(And for the record, this vodka is excellent. I’m not a vodka-on-the-rocks kind of a girl, but this organic shit makes me understand how that shit might be not only calorically efficient, but enjoyable)

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Jack yoss NAMED EXECUTIVE CHEF AT TEN 01
New chef to focus on farm-to-table seasonal American cuisine

PORTLAND, ORE. – (April 12, 2007) – Adam Berger and Michael Rypkema, owners of Ten 01 and Tabla, are excited to announce the appointment of Jack Yoss to executive chef at Ten 01, beginning Wednesday, May 23, 2007.
Yoss, who brings with him an impressive resume, plans to adapt the former menu to incorporate his own style, which is very much aligned with that of the owners. He describes his menu as “farm-to-table seasonal American cuisine” and notes that this “will be a great fit for all the local, artisanal ingredients already used in the restaurant.” Ten 01 will also introduce a spirited happy hour and bar menu featuring dollar sliders with lamb, beef, duck, salmon or tuna tatakai, oyster shooters, wild mushroom soup shots, and several gourmet thin-crusted pizzas, including one with smoked salmon and dill crème fraiche.
“We are thrilled to have Chef Yoss on board. When we tried his food, we immediately knew that he would take Ten 01 in the direction we want,” said co-owner Adam Berger. “Michael and I have learned some tough, but valuable lessons in the past few months. Obviously, the reviews were not what we’d hoped for and we’ve made positive changes as a result. We hope everyone – those who have either come in and been disappointed and those who have not come in – will come check us out and experience the food for themselves.”
Prior to joining Ten 01, Yoss was the executive chef at the W Hotel in Los Angeles, Calif., where he was responsible for all food and beverage operations for the 258-room hotel, including NINE THIRTY restaurant and The Backyard restaurant. His duties included creating and implementing menus for all hotel venues and events. Before that, Yoss was the chef de cuisine at Wolfgang Puck’s Postrio Restaurant in San Francisco, where he headed up menu development for the dining room, café, room service, and catering. Yoss has also held positions at Deep Creek Fishing Club in Ninilchik, Ala., and Chinois and Nero’s at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas, Nev.
In 2004, Yoss was nominated for Food and Wine’s “Best New Chefs in America” competition by world-renowned chef Jacques Pepin. In 2006, Yoss and NINE THIRTY hosted a successful Friends of James Beard benefit dinner at the James Beard House. His role models include French chef Jacques Pepin, Mitchell and Stephen Rosenthal, and Wolfgang Puck, whose unique style, dedication to each guest and open-kitchen concept still resonate with Yoss today.
Items on Chef Yoss’ menu may include Northwest Oyster Chowder with fennel, potatoes, and tarragon oil; Seared Sea Scallops with parsnip puree and green apple-celery root vinaigrette; Sautéed Black Bass with fennel puree, asparagus, chorizo, and marcona almonds; Apple Cider Glazed Niman Ranch Pork Belly with pearl onions and trumpet mushrooms; Bacon Wrapped Quail with sweet onion puree, duck confit, and natural jus; Roasted Sonoma Lamb Chops with swiss chard, goat cheese gnocchi, and Pinot Noir reduction; Braised Beef Shortrib with mascarpone polenta and glazed root vegetables; and Sonoma Lamb Sliders with aged feta, pickled onions, arugula, and nicoise olive aioli.
“I look forward to working with Adam and Michael at Ten 01. We share the same vision for using artisanal and sustainable products to create simple, seasonal cuisine,” said Jack Yoss, executive chef at Ten 01. “I am excited to bring their original vision to life.”
To compliment the new menu, Ten 01 will continue to focus on its extensive wine program. Created by General Manager and Sommelier, Erica Landon, the wine list features exceptional regional and international wines and producers.
About Ten 01 and Tabla
Ten 01 and Tabla Mediterranean Bistro are owned and operated by Adam Berger and Michael Rypkema. Located in Portland’s Pearl District, Ten 01 serves farm-to-table seasonal American cuisine using local, artisanal ingredients. With dramatic high ceilings and beautiful decor, the two-story restaurant features an oyster bar, seating for 160, an open kitchen with a Tandoori oven, and private dining facilities. Chef Jack Yoss’ menu is complimented by an impressive wine list, carefully-selected by General Manager and Sommlier, Erica Landon. Ten 01 is located at 1001 N.W. Couch St. in Portland’s Pearl District. The restaurant is open for lunch Monday through Saturday from 11:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. and dinner Monday through Saturday from 5 p.m. to close. Happy Hour is offered from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Friday. For reservations or more information, please call (503) 226-DINE or visit www.ten-01.com.

Tabla Mediterranean Bistro is a casual neighborhood restaurant perfect for a gathering with friends or a special night out. Chef Paul Duncan’s Mediterranean-inspired menu changes frequently to take advantage of the bounty available from local food purveyors. What remains constant is a menu made of delightful combinations with intense flavors. Tabla is located on Portland’s restaurant row at 200 NE 28th Ave. and is open for dinner Tuesday through Sunday from 5 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. For reservations or more information, please call (503) 238-3777 or visit www.tabla-restaurant.com.

I’m not sure why, but this media advisory about the PDC’s efforts to clean up MLK is a little strange…Spiffing…

Ok, well this is my favorite story of the day…

From Pitchfork, the story of retail giant Costco selling fake Bright Eyes autographed guitars for $899.99. What the hell?

That is so just so damn funny.

Since his fantastic new album, Cassadaga, came out Tuesday, here is the video for “Four Winds,” where Conor and co. get heckled by rowdy fans and eventually drown in a sea of debris.

Last week, after going to Cop School, I mentioned anybody wishing to win the Mercury over with a bottle of scotch wouldn’t exactly be unwelcome. Hail the arrival, then, of folksinger and film-maker, Luke Tan—who has been writing for Street Roots for the past few issues, and making a film, about a flophouse on NW Hoyt between 22nd and 23rd Aves.LUKE TAN: Hop Scotch

Tan, who moved to Portland last July after selling his farm in Lexington, Georgia, (the mortgage on which was $209/month—he raised poultry and grew vegetables) has put together a multimedia project called Ghosts in the Flophouse, based on 6 months living as a caretaker in the almost empty 65-room residence in NW. On arrival in Portland, he wrote a Craigslist ad saying he was seeking a “mutually beneficial relationship with an empty building,” and ended up there.

The flophouse is now being turned into condos, but Tan’s project captures the eeriness of the place. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but then, neither is anything. Scott Moore describes it as “eery folky.” Tan’ll be playing at The Waypost next Tuesday, April 17th, around 8.30pm. The last chapter of his writing about the house will be in Street Roots on April 20. The full movie will also be screening at The Apotheke on the same day.

Thanks for the Scotch, Luke. And good luck to you…

Technology followers are already familiar with the “Mosquito Tone”—that mysterious high-pitched squeal that supposedly only kids can hear (which is super vexing to old fogey teachers who are trying to stop the little shits from text messaging each other in class). Well, leave it to KFC (who is currently winning the war on childhood obesity, btw) to take advantage of this technology and insert it in one of their commercials. And not only that? They’re turning it into a contest! The first 1,000 tykes who correctly identify where in the commercial the mosquito tone takes place win $10 in free fried chicken.
BUT HERE’S THE THING! I’m clearly an adult and yet when I watch this commercial I can hear the tone! Does this mean your theory about me being in perpetual arrested development is correct? Or am I like Tom Hanks’ character in Big?
Can you hear it, too? Watch the commercial and find out. (Hmmm… is it just me, or are you hungry for chicken?)

Yesterday, the City of Portland released the results of Uptown Services’ analysis of the Unwire PDX project, which is planned to provide 95 percent of the city with wireless internet access.

From the looks of the executive summary—the only thing released—MetroFi (the private company providing the service) passed; the city’s Bureau of Technology Services signed a certificate of acceptance allowing the company to expand beyond the downtown/central city area.

Uptown’s executive report and the acceptance letter can be found here.

But members of Portland’s geekocracy are still skeptical—last month, I wrote about the Personal Telco meeting in which an independent review of MetroFi’s project was less than glowing. Now, one of Personal Telco’s volunteers and an employee at a local ISP, Michael Weinberg, has written a letter to Logan Kleier, the city’s Unwire PDX manager, expressing doubts over the acceptance of MetroFi’s service.

Weinberg’s full letter is after the jump, but what it boils down to is that the executive summary doesn’t provide enough information to justify issuing the certificate of acceptance. Plus, the executive summary appears to say that the service only really worked with one user connected—hardly a ringing endorsement.

Check out more from UnwirePDX-Watch.org, written by PTP volunteers who ran their own evaluation. I’ve got a call in to Kleier, but haven’t yet heard back.

Dear Logan,

I'm writing to express my concern over the City's recent sign-off on the MetroFi Proof of Concept deployment. Based on the only publicly released document from Uptown, there is little reason for the public to have faith in the City's decision to issue the Certificate of Acceptance.

As someone who has worked with outdoor wireless network design and deployment for many years, initially as a volunteer with Personal Telco and later as the administrator for that group's first grant, a wireless network along Mississippi Avenue; as a private contractor deploying networks between buildings in downtown Portland and most recently at Stephouse Networks, an ISP operating a number of wireless services in downtown Portland, St. Johns and the N. Marine Dr. area, I believe I can speak with some authority about the issues facing outdoor, urban wireless deployment, particularly those delivering service over the 2.4GHz band.

Throughput:

The Uptown Services Executive Summary, the only document available to the public from Uptown, begins by stating that 69 of 70 tested access points were shown to be capable of passing downstream traffic at 1Mbps and 70 of 70 were able to pass upstream traffic at 256 kbps. The opening figure for bandwidth capability is not indicative of performance over the 802.11g tier, where users experience it, but rather is an assessment of the performance of the 802.11a backhaul. Any client capable of connecting to an 802.11g AP ought to see these speeds between the client and AP.

Uptown goes on to state that their testing indicated that this level of performance was supported for 2 downstream clients, but only 1 upstream client, suggesting that the advertised performance is only available when a single user is on each AP. In short, the throughput assessment, as described in the Executive Summary, appears to ignore the presumable average load on the network, and instead presents a standard for success that virtually any functioning network should be able to meet.

Availability:

As many formal and informal usage tests have shown, when a reliable connection to the MetroFi network is found, it tends to remain reliable, as such, the 91% figure, as presented, is neither surprising nor impressive. It is entirely conceivable that a single device, placed in a location that had reliable coverage and connected continuously to the network, would have service availability of 91% or more. However, a single device connected in a location chosen for network reliability, is neither a rigorous nor a scientific means of testing average network performance.

The Uptown "drive testing", like the throughput testing before it, presents success criteria that seem to ignore real-world use to the point of being meaningless. The ability of a single user to achieve the advertised performance is of little value if performance degrades with the second user on any given AP.

Of all the availability results, the most unsettling is the -79dBm figure, upon which network coverage has been judged. As anyone familiar with wireless networking can attest, a single signal strength reading is absolutely meaningless. All that this assessment means is that the MetroFi network can be "heard" at a certain level in 95% of the coverage area; it provides no insight whatsoever into connection availability. This is especially troubling, since MetroFi has repeatedly blamed end-users (and their hardware) for the inability to connect to the network. The inclusion of this statistic, is irresponsible and misleading without additional information about the strength or other technical assessment of the receiving equipment.

I can only presume that prior to issuing the Certificate of Acceptance, you received a more in-depth report from Uptown Services that clarifies some or all of my concerns regarding the testing methodology. It would behoove the City to release all or part of that report to demonstrate that the decision to sign-off on the MetroFi PoC was based on appropriate data and strong testing methodologies. The Executive Summary raises serious questions about this, especially in light of many assessments from frustrated users and the excellent research by Russell Senior and Caleb Phillips which suggest that usable coverage and performance are highly variable and MetroFi's own statements regarding the probable need for additional hardware in order to connect.

Thank you for your time,

Michael Weinberg

Lord, what a hectic week for music. Here’s a ‘lil peep on what is going on in this week’s music section:

Ted Leo is God. There I said it.
MP3: Who Do You Love? (Um, you, Ted. I love you. Why do you need to ask this? You’re smothering me with your constant need to be validated.)

Matt Driscoll is stumped when it comes to describing the audio chaos of 31Knots. Dude, totes know what you mean, I’ve been lazily calling them prog for years now.
MP3: Beauty

Some of this town’s finest bands team up with local label Arena Rock to give a little back to the community. Aw, that is sweet. Ok, who needs a hug? Anyone?
MP3: Dancing In The Dark (The Snuggle-Ups)

Deerhunter (no, not that hilarious comedy with the Russian Roulette) are still singing about being 16.
MP3: Cryptograms

The Twilight Sad? More like The Twilight Rad! That right there is an example why I did not write about this great Scottish band.
MP3: That Summer At Home I Had Become The Invisible Boy

Get that hate mail ready, it’s the single greatest (and worst) mall-emo band ever: Say Anything. Oooh, you call me a woman and Google’d my dad, I’m so scared.
MP3: Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too

Some of you may have heard that NY Times Fashion Writer Cathy Horyn is coming to town. If you’re unfamiliar with her, you should check out her blog (I keep it bookmarked). Anyhow, she is speaking at the Art Institute next Wednesday, and if you want to get a place on the list for the limited spaces available, contact AI’s Allena Baker . The topic: “The Duel Between Art & Commerce in Fashion”. How she plans to address this in one hour is beyond me, but I will surely let you know.

The Clorox Girls are playing an all-ages CD release party tonite at Valentines -w- the Revisions, Fox Gloves & the Bustling Townships. Their new album, J’aime les Filles, is an extraordinarily special slab of punk.

Catch ‘em before they embark on their extensive world tour which will keep the Girls at large until October.

Biking through Ladd’s Circle on my way to city hall Wednesday morning, I spotted a motorcycle cop who had pulled over a bicyclist and was writing him a ticket. “Funny,” I thought, “What’s a motorcycle cop doing in Ladd’s Circle? Unless this is…oh crap..a sting!”

Sure enough, this morning we got a call from a concerned reader, who reported seeing, seven cops staked out in order to nab bikers rolling through stop signs. Tickets: $242. Sweet Jesus.

Over at BikePortland.org, Jonathan Maus has more, with a ton of comments from riders who were ticketed. The prevailing question: Why Ladd’s Circle? It’s one of the safest routes through SE for bikers, and the roundabout provides high visibility when merging into the circle. According to one of the unlucky commenters at BikePortland, the cops said the sting was in response to complaints from neighbors.

Seriously? Complaints from neighbors? Jeez, Fancy Pantses, sorry we interrupted your precious, high-end enclave. Sorry we managed to figure out how to navigate the labyrinth of Ladd’s Circle, which keeps most auto traffic out.

Personally, once I saw the cop writing a ticket, I turned off at the first available street, which spit me out onto Hawthorne at about 16th, and I continued on my way down Hawthorne, which is a far more dangerous route.

What’s next—a bike sting on SE Ankeny?

BTW, I’ve also spotted motorcycle cops at the east side of the Hawthorne Bridge handing out tickets to cyclists for not having lights. Be careful out there, fellow bike commuters.

So there’s a whole lotta bands out there with the word “black” in their names. Let’s just do a random sampling from this week’s music calendar…
Blue Skies for Black Hearts
Blackheart Whitenoise
Black Elk
Big Black Cloud
Black Brown
Night Was Black
Dark Black
DJ Blackout
And in a cutesy move a lot of venues book similar-sounding bands on the same night. This is so not cute. Don’t even get me started on all the “I Am” bands: I Am Ghost, I Am the Arm, I Am the Ocean, I Am the Avalanche, etc.
Is it just me, or are most band names starting to sound the same? I wonder what the new trend will be. I’m going with “I Am the Puce,” or maybe “Magenta Dog Autumn.”

Reminder—Jonathan Lethem, author of Motherless Brooklyn, Fortress of Solitude, the so-so new novel, You Don’t Love Me Yet, and tons of other books, stories, and essays, will be appearing at the Schnitz tonight as part of Portland Arts & Lectures.

My little write-up/interview with Lethem can be found in this week’s Mercury, or online here. While I was working on that, several people asked me if I was a big Lethem fan. My typical answer was a sort of yes-and-no. Aside from that recent essay, I’ve never read anything of his that I unequivocably loved, but I still find him incredibly ambitious and talented. I thought Brooklyn got way dragged down in the plot category, but that the protagonist and Lethem’s writing style were amazing. I though Fortress was close to perfect, except for the superhero subplot. (Several people I’ve talked to felt the same way. Lethem has said in interviews that we’re missing the point of the book. I’m not sure that’s for him to say.) And I find most ofhis essays, particularly those collected in The Disappointment Artist, stiflingly dull. This sounds like a pretty dreary assesment of his work, but I still consider him one of our leading writers. When he hits, it’s usually in a total display of virtuosity (see his passage on Prince’s b-side to the Batdance cassette single in Brooklyn), which makes it very easy to overlook his less successful parts. Plus, his failures are of the super-ambitious type, which are infinitely more fascinating than the failures that come from lack of sticking your neck out. The guy is wildly talented, and an incredible writer. The fact that he hasn’t written anything that I absolutely love* fails to deter my fandom.

*the afore-linked essay notwithstanding

You know why you should always wear lip gloss? (And yes, guys, I’m talking to YOU.) Because the awesome LIL MAMA told you to! Check out one of the most bumpin’ songs of the year, and the only musical tribute to shiny, bubblegum flavored lip gloss. (My only question is why didn’t someone do this earlier?)

In sweet, sweet celebrity news, the founder of the sexually exploitive GIRLS GONE WILD video empire, JOE FRANCIS, has been indicted for tax fraud, and could face up to 10 years in jail. WHOOPEEEE! According to Fox News, Francis illegally claimed $20 million in false business expenses. (That’s what he gets for using Turbo Tax.)

Francis makes an estimated $29 million a year from videos of young women exposing their breasts and being shown in other sexually provocative situations.

Justice Department officials said Francis is scheduled to appear May 22 before U.S. Magistrate Robert A. McQuaid. If convicted, he could face up to 10 years in prison and $500,000 in fines.

Ahhh… ten years in prison. When they bend him over the laundry room washing machine, I wonder if he’ll get a free t-shirt? SAYONARA, DOUCHEBAG!

Since today is another day of poopie Portland weather, we need this Talkdemonic video (for the excellent “Mountain Cats” song) now more than ever. It’s totally adorable in it’s sun-drenched haze and weird floating balls of light (fireflies? pollen? aliens?) that engulf the band’s two members, Kevin O’Connor and Lisa Molinaro.

I can’t say it enough, I absolutely love it when indie bands are able to make quality music videos on the cheap.

1. Imus livid.

2. Lacrosse lynch-mob.

3. Listerine dodgy.

4. Bank evil.

5. Vonnegut…dead.

Adieu.

Vonnegut is dead.

It appears to have been caused by brain injuries sustained from a fall a few weeks ago, not smoking Pall Malls.

And this time it’s about Portland. This time…it’s personal.

Posted on TPMmuckraker yesterday morning is a post called “Rove on Voter Fraud,” which includes a lengthy transcript from a speech and Q&A Karl Rove held with the Republican National Lawyers Association one year ago. In the Q&A, Rove attempts to build a case that voter fraud is rampant (Hey Rove! Where were you in Florida and Ohio in 2000?) across the country.

Toward the end of the transcript, Rove starts picking on Portland to outline his disdain for vote by mail:

I remember in 2000, that we had reports of people—you know, the practice in Oregon is everybody gets their ballot mailed to them and then you fill it out.

And one of the practices is that people will go to political rallies and turn in their ballots. And we received reports in the 2000 election — which, remember we lost Oregon by 5000 votes — we got reports of people showing up at Republican rallies and passing around the holder to get your ballot, and then people not being able to recognize who those people were and not certain that all those ballots got turned in.

On Election Day, I remember, in the city of Portland, Multnomah County—I’m going to mispronounce the name — but there were four of voting places in the city, for those of you who don’t get the ballots, well, we had to put out 100 lawyers that day in Portland, because we had people showing up with library cards, voting at multiple places.

I mean, why was it that those young people showed up at all four places, showing their library card from one library in the Portland area? I mean, there’s a problem with this.

And I know we need to make arrangements for those people who don’t live in the community in which they are registered to vote or for people who are going to be away for Election Day or who are ill or for whom it’s a real difficulty to get to the polls. But we need to have procedures in place that allow us to monitor it.

And in the city of Portland, we could not monitor. If somebody showed up at one of those four voting locations, we couldn’t monitor whether they had already cast their mail-in ballot or not. And we lost the state by 5,000 votes.

I mean, come on. What kind of confidence can you have in that system? So yes, we’ve got to do more about it.

As you might have guessed, Rove’s relationship with the facts is more than a little tenuous. Multnomah County Elections Director John Kauffman explains why after the jump.

"There were no voting locations in the county in 2000," he explains. "It was all strictly by mail. This was the first election after vote-by-mail passed, and everything was mailed in. People could go into the county elections office to pick up their ballot if they didn't receive one, but there weren't other locations to drop them off."

As for the bizarre library card claim, "I have no idea what he's talking about. A library card has nothing to do with people being able to vote."

Further, Kauffman says, vote-by-mail makes it harder, not easier, for fraud to take place. "Every signature on the back of the mailed-in envelope is checked against signatures on registration cards," he explained. "In the old days, you'd just sign in at the polling place, and your signature was never checked against anything else. Those places have their own means of identification, but those have problems too, which we're saved from by having vote-by-mail."

Even the registration process has safeguards. First time voters have to show state ID or write in the last four digits of their social security number in order to register--and the elections offices are linked to the DMV and social security system for verification.

Plus, he added, vote-by-mail eliminates the opportunity for things like polling place intimidation--based on things like, you know, race--which this country has a not-so-shining history of.

John Lindback, the State of Oregon's elections officer, is also confident that Oregon's vote-by-mail system is set up to stop fraud, and has extended an invitation to Rove to stop in while he's in the area to get a lesson on how vote-by-mail actually works.

It’s been a while since we’ve had a band name of the week—there’s been such a drought of good ones. But I’m proud to present…
Last of the Mojitos

Hey Hawkeye, this one looks good enough to muddle!
Thursday, April 19
Laurelthirst Pub
9 pm, free

Another new neighbor is moving into 811 E Burnside, this one at Suite 119: Stand Up Comedy.

They’re planning (hoping) for an opening on June 1st, but in the meantime, here’s what SUC’s Diana and Rachel have to say about the venture:

we’ll carry a combination of mens/womens/unisex apparel, along with printed matter, art objects, and whatever other interesting product comes our way. The focus of the apparel is mostly on cult labels, international lines, and designers with a sensibility that leans toward the surrealistic, experimental, architectural. We like things that play with archetypal notions of art, fashion, and design. That all sounds very high-falutin’, but we also love jokes and eccentricity, hence the name of the shop. The aim was to express the idea of complex simplicity - the basis of genuine, performative humor. Some of our labels include Cerre bags, Dittos denim, Staerk, Slow and Steady Wins the Race, Karen Walker, Rhus Ovata, Pleaure Principle, Rachel Comey, Patrik Rzepski…print like Purple Fashion/Journal, Dot Dot Dot, Here and There, Cosmic Wonder…and stuff like Occtone distortion pedals and Bast jewelry. We’ve also got a couple of store exclusive collaborations and art projects in the works.

Sounds good to me. Stay tuned…

Portland’s more rambunctious soccer supporters are a bunch of sissies compared to some of those in England. But this came in from an anonymous emailer (only identified as “a member of the Timbers Army”) on Monday:

Don’t know if you’re aware of the Timbers Army, the supporters of the local United Soccer League side the Portland Timbers. They drink, they swear, they sing for 90 minutes, they make witty banners and chants, they constitute about 20% of the regular attendance at PGE Park. Well, there’s new management over at the Timbers and the Timbers Army seem to be in their sights as a group that needs to be contained, curtailed, silenced and dealt with. Restrictions on language and flag poles are in place for the coming season, which opens 4/21. And today the club announced that Timber Jim, the longtime mascot of the club (going back to the NASL/Pele days of the ’70s) can no longer post on the very active Timbers Army message board.

Here’s a thread on the Timbers Army forum about the new flagpole rules. A representative post is:

No flagpoles = no freedom = republicans = war = death. If you’re anti-flagpole, you’re pro-death.

A representative from the allegedly “pro-death” Timbers management is yet to return a call for comment. Looks like a fun season is brewing…

I saw Andrew “Party ‘Til You Puke” WK this weekend, and it S-U-C-K-E-D. I attended his speaking engagement, which was painful to sit through, but reports have trickled in that all his performances these days are lacking. Turns out, maybe it’s because this Andrew WK is nothing more than an impostor!

Our Blogging Buddies to the North have gone all Hardy Boys on us and possibly uncovered the mystery of the Dual Andrew WKs.

First Gallagher, now this? I just don’t know who to trust anymore.

(Posting this under “fashion,” but perhaps it should really be “beauty.”)

I’m going to go check this out in the very near future, but heads up that über-popular salon Dirty Little Secret (1909 NE MLK—aka next door to Dunes) has srouted up a whole new spa area. In addition to hair care, you can now get massage (sports, Swedish, deep tissue, Shiatsu, or pregnancy), Reiki, and—intriguingly—chill out sessions in their “comfort room,” which is equipped with a full-spectrum light box and heat lamps as well as aromatherapy, designed to “chase away those PDX blues” (it’s supposed to rain for like the next 10 days straight, BTW). Plus facials, waxing, and nails—basically all your spa essentials, but deliverd Dirty Little Secret style. I’m going to go check ‘em out real soon, I’ll let you know how that goes. Anyone else already beat me to it?

As we alerted you in this week’s Mercury, Jesus Christ has a blog and he wants you to read it. Now, normally I couldn’t give two poops about Jesus Christ or his blog… but as it turns out? JC’s blog makes for a pretty good read! This week, he’s complaining about Mexican restaurants that close for Easter, and how artists always make him look like crap in their paintings. Check out this excerpt…

And look at my face! This is the WORST depiction of my face since Willem Defoe played me in The Last Temptation of Christ (pretty good movie, though). This painting makes me look like a garbage man or something… I don’t know. It makes me look like I’m going to take that kid and dump him head first into a wood chipper. Not that I would. I’m just saying. And I kind of look high, don’t I?

He’s got a point. He DOES look like a garbage man. Check out JESUS CHRIST’S BLOG HERE, and remember, on the internet, you never walk alone.

Chris Onstad writes very funny web cartoons about teddy bears. He’s also the author of The Achewood Cookbook, which features characters from his comic strips and which is described on his website as follows: “This is a cookbook for people who are fed up with glossy, high-quality efforts by professional chefs who aren’t forced to shop at lousy chain grocery stores and cook everything in a ruined teflon pan.”

Hit Salon for a pretty good interview with the dude.

Onstad on his new cookbook:

Basically, I was sitting around looking at that massive “French Laundry Cookbook,” which is essentially useless to any home cook, and I thought: Well, fuck this. I think it would be fun, and it would be a great challenge, to take on a project for guys who are just out of college and have one pan and one electric burner. And because of where I was with Achewood at the time, I thought: This is a thing for young guys. It’ll connect well with my young readership. So I went to some chain grocery store like Albertsons and bought ground beef and some eggs and mustard and worked up about 50 recipes for various things ranging from cocktails to Scotch eggs.

Onstad on the word “foodie” (i love this part):

The first time I ever heard a friend say it, the hair on the back of my neck stood up, my gut twisted, and I felt angry for some reason. Why do we need this fake new word? There are so many words that already describe the concept of people who like food, or enjoy cooking, or enjoy knowing about cooking. “Foodie”: It’s like the infantile diminutive — you put a “y” on the end of everything to make it childlike. We don’t need it. It’s embarrassing. “I’m a foodie.” Oh my God.

I dare you to make it all the way through this trailer.

This morning, city council will be debating a request by Mayor Potter to extend the city’s Drug- and Prostitution-Free Zones for another six months—they expire this weekend, and the oversight committee has only just gotten started.

I’ll be attempting to blog it live, assuming the battery in this laptop holds up. But first, a slight pre-correction: In my column this week (which should be online later this evening), I mentioned that the mayor needed a majority of council to vote to pass it.

That’s actually slightly wrong. Since it’s an “emergency” ordinance, the mayor needs unanimous support in order to make the extension go into effect immediately. And there’s some pretty strong evidence that shows he doesn’t have every vote—specifically, he may not have Erik Sten’s.

If the vote is 4-1, or even 3-2, it’ll have to go through as a regular ordinance, which requires two public meetings and takes 30 days to go into effect. If that happens, the DFZs will be out of commission for the next month. Weird? A little. There are a couple ways this could play out—Sten could vote yes just for practical reasons, or he could go on record with a no vote, then call for a courtesy vote and pass it. I’ve never seen that happen, but it’s a possibility.

Live updates after the jump.

10:00: First up, though, is the police bureau's request to reclassify some internal bureau investigations to non-sworn officers. Portland Copwatch's Dan Handelman is testifying that the change should have been part of the Independent Police Review. He's also arguing that Internal Affairs should still exist alongside the non-sworn, independent investigations. Not surprisingly, he's not thrilled with the fact that there hasn't been any public discussion, and that's come to council as an emergency vote.

10:06: NW Constitutional Rights Center's Alejandro Queral is echoing Handelman's statements. "There are a number of questions still, and this should give city council an opportunity to hear from community members," he said. He's also asked for the non-sworn internal investigators to not be former cops.

10:09: Amanda Fritz is asking the same questions--"Why is this an emergency ordinance? Why hasn't the independent review, which has already been funded, not been completed?" To that question, no one has many answers. The mayor says the auditor is supposed to take over, and Maria Rubio, Potter's public safety aide, assured everyone by saying the mayor's office is taking the lead on it. Randy Leonard is taking her on, now that she's at the dais. "Why weren't people who have regular contact with the Independent Police Review not included in this?" he asked. "I believe that was the chief's decision," Rubio answered. Buck passed.

10:12: Leonard asks for the reclassification to be held over. "On the substance of it, I'm there, but I'm hearing this concerns...and I think it's important to have the discussion." That means the mayor doesn't have the unanimous votes, so he's pulling it back to his office.

10:15: Finally, the DFZs. Rubio is asking for the extension in order to "continue the work of the oversight committee." There are also a couple of amendments, which give the committee direction on what to look at. I posted those a few days ago.

10:18: Sam Adams has jumped in. "As you know, my vote to renew this last year was predicated on this committee being up and running, and it's frustrating that this committee was so long in coming. I've also heard from advocates...that the group isn't working together as well as it could be." Rubio has admitted some if that, and also that there was a long delay.

10:20: Sten's jumped in, saying that some people have complained that the composition of the committee isn't balanced. Rubio ticked off the names of the members. (I'm sitting near public defender Chris O'Connor, one of the few non-police, non-prosecutor members.) Wow. Holy crap. Rubio just said that Mike Kukendall, the PBA's public safety director, represents the NE DFZ because he lives there.

10:24: Sten: "It seems like you've gotten together the two sides of this and threw them at each other. No offense against to the DA's office, but they're not exactly going to find the middle ground... And the public defender's office has a vested interest in seeing these things go away."

10:27: Dan Saltzman: "I tend to agree with Commissioner Sten. When I look at this list, I see a lot of people who are entrenched on either side." I just realized why I don't live blog things like this--I'm missing the look on Potter's face. He's awfully quiet, while council is pretty much ripping into his committee. Rubio just said, "The six-month extension could give us time to look at a bigger group that could examine these numbers." Oh, and, "These meetings ARE open to the public." As much public as can be squeezed into the conference room in the mayor's office--about three people.

10:32: Sten: "I'm not prepared to extend (in the long term) a policy that produces the kinds of racial disparity we've seen, assuming these numbers hold up." Leonard: "I don't want these numbers (the stats the committee has requested from the police bureau on previous convictions, racial makeup, etc.), I want to see them and come to my own conclusions...I want to see the stats and have my worst fears be unfounded, but I'm not expecting that to be the case."

10:34: Rubio: "I do want you to know that we're taking this seriously." Leonard: "Even if this policy were working as well as it could be, I still have to grapple with whether it's okay for a police officer to use their judgment to geographically exclude someone from an area."

10:40: Still at the dais: City attorney David Woboril, Maria Rubio, and the police statistician. Chris O'Connor is chomping at the bit. Despite the grilling by Leonard and Sten, this is heavily weighted in the "everything's gonna be a-okay" vein.

10:42: Finally, testimony from others, including Handelman and O'Connor, all of whom get three minutes. Wow, that's balanced. Handelman: "I think the time is up. City council had a year to do this, and didn't, the police bureau was supposed to report back 90 days before the year is up, and they didn't. I think you need to suspend the zones using the numbers you have until this can be fixed. Maria Rubio said these meetings are open to the public--I and my group are very invested in this issue, and I had no idea this group had even started."

10:45: O'Connor is ripping the process of the committee: "We've met twice, and the group was started only after the state senate met to consider taking away the city's right to impose DFZs....Why renew a policy that isn't working?"

10:48: The owner of the old Pink Flamingo Hotel has encouraged a yes vote, even though he admittedly doesn't know much about the history or process. This illustrates the real split here--people who can only see the zones through their lens of "livability," and people who can only view them through "constitutionality" and "due process."

10:53: Surprise, surprise--as if he just read my last update, the PBA's Mike Kuykendal is urging a yes vote on the extension, because of all the great things that have happened downtown in the last 15 years. He's also attempting to discredit critics by saying there's been inaccurate information given by the police bureau to council and the committee.

10:56: Vote time! Leonard: "I am less concerned about the effectiveness of the zones than I am about balancing constitutional protections." Still, he's voting yes. So is Saltzman, who's appeased by the additional direction the committee has been given with the amendments. Sten: Voting aye on the amendments: "I do think drug-free zones are valid tools...The preferred method, of arresting and confining someone for breaking the law, isn't available... I've been asking for data on the zones for literally ten years, and have been stonewalled. I've advocated for years and will continue to advocate this morning that exclusions should be based on a record. If you don't have a past conviction, I think it's fair to say we should get you a conviction before we exclude you." He's also complimenting Potter for the improvements in the policy that happened a year ago. "At the same time, we were given a year. I think we need to stick to our word, and say, 'We didn't do the work we said we were going to do.'" Sten votes No for that reason.

11:04: Potter votes yes. But since it's an emergency vote...here's Sten's weird procedure I told you about. He's moving for a courtesy vote. "Explaining that I don't support it, but still voting yes, is the kind of thing that loses John Kerry the election." Courtesy vote: 4-0 yes. Tedious? perhaps. But also kinda rad. This is how procedural democracy works. Same process just happened for the Prostitution-Free Zones. Both will be extended until September 30.

In less than 20 days from now, one of my favorite singers ever, Jarvis Cocker, will take the Showbox stage in Seattle, and lord willing, I’ll be there. To get myself hyped up, here is the fantastic video for “Dont Let Him Waste Your Time,” the first single off of his debut solo album, Jarvis.

I’d get in a cab with him anyday.

The Ad Council has released their new PSA warning teenagers to NOT post images of themselves online… unless they want all the jerks at their high school and that creepy janitor looking at them throughout all eternity. Ummm… just curious… but WHY didn’t anyone tell me this before I decided to post that video of myself posing nude in front of a WWII memorial and swinging my light saber?

Coming up in next week’s issue…Submitted by B.Sowers, who writes:

Somewhere on NW 23rd.

I’d expect that kind of behavior from the Willy Week maybe, but The Mercury?

FOR SHAME!

Got one? Email it to: todayinpdx@portlandmercury.com!

Is that a load of news secreted in your brassiere, or are you just pleased