I really encourage anyone who’s at all interested to make it down to Hand2Mouth’s current show, Repeat After Me. I saw part of a rehearsal a couple weeks ago when I wrote about Hand2Mouth; last night was the first time I’d seen the show in its finished form, and it was great. The ensemble presents a revue of American popular music, exploring common themes (freedom, love, patriotism, etc). The show stands out for the way the performers really embrace every single song in the show, no matter how jingoistic or fucked up, and really strive to communicate those themes, whether the songs are by Kid Rock, Toby Keith, or 2 Live Crew. There’ll be a review in next week’s paper, but the show is only running for two more weekends (until TBA this fall, anyway), so get down to see it soon if you haven’t already.

My only criticism of the production is that I am (perhaps unfairly) blaming their use of baby powder during the show for the horrible state of my sinuses this morning. Fucking allergies.

Goldsmith Building, 20 NW 5th, tonight-Sun 8 pm (plus May 4-5),$10-15, reservations at 235-5284 or mail@hand2mouththeatre.org. I recommend getting tickets in advance because it was packed last night.

In this week’s paper, I wrote about the J. Bennett Fitts show at Quality Pictures Contemporary Art. Fitts makes large format landscape photos that revolve around empty motel swimming pools. Prior to seeing the show, I thought that the concept was was too easy and obvious, and I was prepared to be ambivalent about it. But when I saw the actual prints, I was astonished at their beauty, which completely disarmed my cynicism. These tiny low-res jpegs don’t even come close to approximating how fine the actual photos are, but it’s a starting point. No Lifeguard on Duty runs through May 26.

You knew it was coming. After Alec Baldwin’s recent voice mail blow-up was posted online (wherein he called his 11-year-old daughter a “thoughtless, little pig”), a mash-up was bound to happen. However, who could see this result? Baldwin has allegedly left his management agency, CAA, after they refused (or were unable) to remove one of these parodies off the internet. The mash-up, featuring his call and a clip from Dora the Explorer was created by comedians Adam McCay, Chris Henchy and (WHOA!) fellow CAA client Will Ferrell.

Baldwin’s rep, Matthew Hiltzik, told Page Six: “Three-year-olds everywhere are upset that Dora the Explorer and her friends are being dragged into this.”

Ummm… all the three-year-olds I know (many of whom work in this office) love it. But judge for yourself.

[Updated. See Below.]

…hasn’t yet been released, but something will be coming out shortly. Keep your eyes peeled here for the update.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, you obviously haven’t been part of the “record amount” of phone calls and emails that have poured into the mayor’s office since it came out that his budget was nixing the Bicycle Master Plan and halving the bicycle safety budget.

For background, head here, or to BikePortland.org, which has been all over this issue like saddle sores on a Tour De France contestant’s crotch.

Update at 3:15pm: Here’s the mayor’s statement. In a nutshell, it’s this: “Thanks for the record number of phone calls. However, you’re still hosed. Happy biking!” This is essentially the same answer the mayor’s office had on Tuesday, that the decision was about balancing PDOT’s maintenance budget.

Thank you for emailing me about the proposed budget and the Platinum Bicycle Master Plan. For this budget, we were faced with an unprecedented number of requests and priorities. All of these requests have real merit; obviously, not all can be met.

The Portland Department of Transportation (PDOT) has struggled with significant funding issues - and will continue to struggle with funding issues in the coming years. The largest part of Transportation discretionary revenue comes from State gas tax revenue. This revenue is not indexed for inflation and has not been increased since 1993. This has left PDOT with a large gap in the amount of revenue they have available to adequately fund maintenance. In response to this gap and to ensure that essential basic maintenance is taken care of, the proposed budget dedicates a substantial portion of PDOT’s funding ($1.2 million) to institute a very short-term fix to ongoing maintenance.

Difficult decisions had to be made as to the best use of remaining dollars after funding basic maintenance. Several components of Commissioner Adams’s Safe Streets Initiative were funded, two of which focused on bicycle transportation. Included in the proposed budget were Safe Routes to School, pedestrian safety improvements, and funds to continue improving the City’s most dangerous intersections. Additionally, the proposed budget includes bicycle safety improvements for $150,000. These decisions are consistent with our priority to fund safety requests above other requests.

I appreciate your concern. I agree that the Platinum Bicycle Master Plan is important and I would like to see it funded in the near future. Thank you, again, for emailing me.

Sincerely,

Tom Potter
Mayor

BTW, that $1.2 million in short-term fixes? That’s all going to re-fund the streetlight replacement budget, which is currently at $0. Now, when a streetlight gets taken out by a drunk driver, there will actually be money to replace it. PDOT’s still in the hole by about $1.2 million.

And this is with a revenue surplus of $37 million. If the Bike Master Plan can’t get funded when there’s Thirty Seven Million Extra Dollars in the general fund, it ain’t ever going to get funded.

Russell Simmons, co-founder of Def Jam, has begun a campaign to ban three words from hiphop. According to the Times, Simmons aims to rid the hiphop world of the “N-word”, as well as “bitch” and “ho.”

So far no plans have been made to ban the words chickenhead, skank, or wigger, which have similar meanings.

Does this sound like the most un-hiphop thing ever, or should hip-hop play along?

OMFG! It’s the Mercury’s first ever Week in Geek!

Geek quiz: If you know why this photo is funny, you win. (If you really think it’s funny, however, you lose.)

VOIP safe, for now — Appeals court issues a stay in Verizon v. Vonage, but the future of cheap internet phone calls is still in doubt. Fuck Verizon.

China scans students — Chinese college uses fingerprint scanners to take roll, attendance rises to 95 percent.

Continuing their strategy of entering markets 5 years late (see Zune, the), Microsoft takes aim at Adobe’s Flash.

Storage Porn — Ooh, baby.

Despite the inexcusable use of the word “faire”, Maker Faire participants make cool shit: like a life-sized version of the classic mousetrap board game that drops a 2-ton safe instead of a plastic basket.

Happy Geekiversary! — As Star Wars turns 30, thousands get painful reminder of just how long they’ve been living in their parents’ basement.

Paparazzi got you down? Tired of your random prancings around town ending up on your idiot friends’ myspaces? Get yourself some FlickrBlockrs!

Command of the Week: sudo lsof -i | grep LISTEN

And finally, here’s Jodie Foster—in teenaged triplicate—singing Je T’attends Depuis la Nuit des Temps. If that ain’t geeky, I’ll kiss your ass.

Dan Savage pointed out Gawker’s great write-up of former Mayor Rudy Giuliani’s flip flop on gay marriage. (Rather, Giuliani’s specifically opposed to a civil unions bill that just passed in the New Hampshire senate.)

America’s Mayor is a Liar

Yesterday Rudy Giuliani announced that he had been pretending for years that he believed that the gays should have civil unions—including the gays he lived with when he was kicked out of Gracie Mansion by his spurned former wife, right after he broke up with her via press conference—and said that he would now immediately begin pretending to believe that he is firmly against civil unions. Giuliani, the most rat-faced and most-married of all the former mayors of New York, is now running for President on a platform that his advisers refer to as Operation Two-Faced Gay-Traitor, which is intended to convince national voters that clearly he will use any opportunity to seize power and then turn this country into a morally-pure fatherland united in opposition to both the filthy Arabs and anyone who doesn’t want to have sex with Judith Regan—a transformation he can effect in just under ten days, unless he’s too busy cheating on a wife or committing incest.

Bummer. For months, I’ve been telling people that should Sen. Hillary Clinton face off against Giuliani for the presidency, I might vote Republican for the first time ever. Why? Because Giuliani could have steered the Rs’ ship in an entirely new direction, thanks to his relatively enlightened positions on gay rights, abortion, and religion. Also, Clinton drives me mad (and is just as wishy-washy as Giuliani on gay rights).

Guess I can stop proclaiming my tepid love of Giuliani. And keep wishing that Obama/Edwards/Gore keeps Clinton out of the nomination seat.

The Country Cat Dinner house, a “regional American” restaurant from Adam Sappington (formerly of Wildwood), opens today. I’ve been looking forward to trying this place since I heard about it (I admit it, I think the name is cute), and there’s an interview with Sappington over on Food Dude’s site that’s got me even more excited. I’m particularly interested in Sappington’s decision to emphasize comfort and accessibility in designing the space, while at the same time serving food influenced by his background in high-end cusine (the description reminds of E. Burnside’s Screen Door, which I really like).

A few highlights:

NM: Talk a little about the cuisine style of Country Cat.
AS: It’s regional American cuisine. I go back on my white table cloth experience and what I grew up eating and combine the two together. Its deep roots American food – fried chicken with braised bib leaf lettuce, grilled asparagus and creamy Tabasco vinaigrette. I wanted to bring the fresh approach of Portland food and Oregon farms and reach out across the United States also to bring regional dishes out here so that the feeling and flavor of food that inspires me could be on the table.

NM: What’s the atmosphere of Country Cat going to be like?
AS: It’s like country cool with a southern roadhouse feel. It’s all hickory booths, copper on the bar and cork top tables. I wanted to bring the check floors I remember as a kid. We harken back with the big beautiful ball pendant lamps…and lots of wood to create a very warm, comfortable feeling.

Country Cat Dinner House, 7937 SE Stark, open Wed-Sun 5-10

A few days ago I kicked off this awesome YACHT contest, and we now have our winners. The best of the entries (and there was quite a few) was written by Arya Imig, who talked about the Yacht-rocking decadence of Steely Dan.

Need proof?

Steely Dan - Rikki Don’t Lose That Number

Arya’s entry is after the jump.

A band named after a steam powered dildo from a William Burroughs book goes on to provide, no seriously, the best moment in Say Anything (John Mahoney warbling 'Rikki Don't Lose That Number'). The guitiarst, Jeff "Skunk" Baxter goes on to be a Pentagon advisor, defense consultant specalizing in missiles. I hated, hated, hated them for winning that Album of the Year Grammy in 2001, over Eminem and Paul Simon. I forgave them later - somebody burned me all their albums except, irritatingly enough, the band's debut album, the one with a line from a Dylan song, Can't Buy A Thrill("Well, I ride on a mailtrain, baby, Can't buy a thrill." - It Takes A Lot To Laugh, It Takes A Train To Cry). The radio hits rock, the solo albums suck, they are old and aging baby boomers now, hawaiian shirts in moth balls as their chest hair greys. Donald Fagen. Walter Becker. Smooth jazz isn't jazz, smooth jazz isn't jazz, smooth jazz isn't jazz, smooth jazz isn't jazz. Who would believe these guys are from the East Coast? - Arya Imig

From Brent Sandmeyer:

“So it goes.” The crudely scrawled words over the Union Pacific tracks caught my eye from several blocks away; this was no normal graffiti. Completely lacking in style or technique, the matte black paint dripping down the wall indicated a clear lack of experience in outdoor paint handling.

Was this the work of 18th St., the notorious Latino gang? Unlikely, given the timely literary reference marking the passing of Kurt Vonnegut, as well as the lack of “xv3” or other distinguishing signature. And why the second, smaller version to the left? Perhaps there were two Vonnegut admirers out to memorialize the author that night, or just one bereaved soul unsatisfied with the first piece.

The piece, in actuality, probably belongs to one of the Reed College dropouts that litter Portland like so many philosophy-spouting cigarette butts. So it goes. Drunk on cheap red wine, having just finished Slaughterhouse-Five for the third time, they broke out the spray paint from freshman year Studio Art 101 and went out to tag through their tears.

Would Kurt approve of this shoddy public accolade? Perhaps. Or, as he suggested in Slapstick, he might tell them, “Why don’t you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut? Why don’t you take a flying fuck at the mooooooooooooon?” Maybe he would just offer a resigned, “So it goes,” or my favorite, “Fuckin’ kids.”

Know that “We Love Vegetarians/More Meat for Us” billboard Matt posted about yesterday? The one that was tagged by someone not-too-thrilled with the pro-meat message? A commenter to that post has a new photo of the billboard, which has been further embellished.

Mary Sue says:

You know, as someone whose living room window has a clear view of this billboard… thanks for making it even uglier, jackholes. Now I not only have to see giant slabs of meat when I look out to check the weather, but graffiti, too.

From her Flickr page:

Since no one could read the handwriting on the original tag, I guess they decided they’d step it up.

If you need more proof that The Gossip are taking over England, Beth Ditto is now penning an advice column for The Guardian. This week’s topic? “How do I come out to my colleagues?”

Grab your skateboard, and head to NE 82nd & NE Siskiyou at 3 pm:

Portland Parks & Recreation cuts the ribbon on the newest addition to Portland’s skatepark network. Sited in Glenhaven Park, across from Madison High School, the new skatepark is designed by Dreamland Skateparks and features both street and tranny areas.

Join Portland Parks & Recreation, Commissioner Dan Saltzman, neighbors and skaters for a ribbon-cutting to celebrate the opening of this highly-anticipated skatepark.

Adjacent to Madison High School, Glenhaven Skatepark is the first of 19 new skateparks to be developed by Portland Parks & Recreation (Pier Park’s skatepark underwent a complete renovation in 2006). The park is 11,000 square feet, and features a 5,500 square foot street course and 5,500 square feet of “tranny” (transition) area. The tranny area includes a 9-foot deep “peanut bowl” with a 4-foot deep shallow end with stairs and a separate rectangular bowl. The street area includes hubba ledges; stamped brick bank; banks, ledges and manual pads; handrails; stairs; two pyramid hips; a quarter pipe; and two “dude chutes.”

(Photo of the “Peanut Bowl,” courtesy Portland Parks & Recreation)

At yesterday afternoon’s surprisingly entertaining city council meeting (maybe it was the sunny weather, maybe there was a pre-session martini lunch), the Citizen Campaign Commission presented their final recommendations on fixing Portland’s publicly funded campaigns.

The commission has decided to keep the numbers the same—candidates will still need to get 1,000 $5 contributions in order to get $145,000 from the public campaign fund. But they’ve lightened up the penalties for “honest mistakes,” and set up a system to catch Emilie Boyles-sized fraud quickly. Plus, only registered Portland voters will be allowed to contribute.

Weirdly, the most contentious part of their report turned out to be a recommendation to not allow candidates to get their $5 contributions from credit cards. The reason, the commission members explained, was that they wanted to foster face-to-face grassroots campaigning—allowing credit cards would mean that candidates could run strictly web-based campaigns.

Commissioner Sam Adams, though, didn’t see why that was a bad thing, arguing that candidates, including Amanda Fritz, have already used campaign workers, or volunteers—essentially, surrogates—to gather contributions, so there’s already a buffer between the public and the candidates. Why not allow for web campaigning?

This set off a friendly, yet heated exchange between Adams and Randy Leonard, who, even though they were arguing with and addressing each other, were both staring straight ahead at the audience. Adams called Leonard’s support of the recommendation “intellectually inconsistent,” and Leonard jokingly accused Adams of running at the mouth.

“I only have so much time on this planet,” Adams said, perhaps still reeling from the series of jaw surgeries he’s had in the past three months. “This is the first time I’ve talked about this this afternoon, so let me talk.”

The issue might seem minor, but it exposes a much larger question: Is “netroots” campaigning equally as valid—and as worthy of city support—as traditional “grassroots” campaigning?

Where it was once an oddity--see the media attention to Howard Dean's campaign in 2003/04--web-based organizing has now become an integral and inescapable part of modern campaigning. Netroots contributions arguably made the difference in some 2006 senate and congressional races, and it's already playing into the 2008 senate race in Oregon. The bloggers of Loaded Orygun attempted to use online contributions to convince Peter DeFazio to run for senate, Steve Novick is already poised to be a netroots candidate, and the Democratic Party of Oregon has created StopGordonSmith.com to raise money and interest in defeating Smith.

So why should a city race be any different? Why shouldn't candidates hoping to qualify for public money be able to use the web to gather contributions, and does the commission's (and maybe city council's) reluctance show that the city hasn't quite grasped the concept yet? Are we behind the times?

Here's something else I learned yesterday--Diet Squirt has become the new official drink of Adams' office, replacing Fresca. My grandfather used to drink Squirt like water, and I hadn't had any since he passed away more than a decade ago. I must say, after drinking a can of it yesterday afternoon, that it's every bit as delicious and refreshing as I remember--even if it's "diet." So thanks, Commissioner Adams. That was some delicious payola.

p.s. If you're ever planning on doing a Google Image Search for the term "Squirt," I highly recommend you keep Safe Search on. All the way on.

We received this email about last night’s Last Thursday in the early morning hours…

POLICE RIOT!!! At least that’s what it looked like near midnight at the Last Thursday Alberta Street Fair.

Essentially what happened was as DJ spinning records drew a crowd of around 100 people who started dancing in the street. The crowd was fun, friendly with no open drinking in sight and just the occasionally reefer aroma. At first (around 10:30 PM) around a dozen cops gathered and formed in a huddle (first sign of bad things to come). Soon another dozen police showed up with some speeding in with sirens wailing/flashing. The obvious solution to dispersing the crowd was to shut down the one DJ, but the police were obviously looking for an excuse to pull the most dramatically violent way to mishandle the situation.

The justification for this was that people were blocking the street and it was noisy past curfew. Anyhow I left just when the police were arming up. I left early because I had no equipment and needed to catch a bus, so what happened next is any body’s guess- or you could find a witness.

I hope y’all had a reporter there. With the popularity of Last Thursday plus booze, fire dancers, and clowns you should have!

We didn’t have a reporter there, but we’re trying to get to the bottom of it. (And other news outlets are reporting on angles like police overreacting/brutality, and gentrification).

According to Sgt. Brian Schmautz, the Portland Police public information officer, this Last Thursday had more street vendors operating on the side walk than usual. With so many street vendors, the crowd was forced to walk on the street, causing tension between pedestrians and motorists.

Police were on the street trying to clear up the area, especially an area blocked where a crowd gathered to listen to a DJ, Schmautz says.

Two officers leaving the area at about 10:30 pm to return to the NE precinct spotted two people fighting on NE Alberta and 18th. According to Sgt. Schmautz, one of the men ran when he saw the officers, while the other one stayed. When the man who stuck around did not respond to the officer’s instructions, the cop Tasered him..

More after the jump!

It was at this point that, "The officer providing cover saw someone running over to the police car like he was going to take it," says Schmautz. While the cover officer ran over to deal with the car and call for backup, the other officer set down his Taser to handcuff the man involved in the fight. At that point, a bystander picked up the Taser. "He was drunk and said he thought there was a gun shot, he didn't realize they (the officers) were police officers," Schmautz says. The arresting officer drew his gun and instructed the man to put down the Taser, which he did.

The crowd, some of which had witnessed what happened—and others who made their way over from the DJ—began throwing bottles at the officers and yelling, "this is policeman brutality."

Police in riot gear arrived and the crowd dispersed.

Were any Blogtown readers there? Let us know what you saw. (Meanwhile, we're trying to track down the guy arrested and the guy who allegedly grabbed the Taser.)

Does this sound like the police were overreacting, or justified in their actions?

I receive every email that comes into the Mercury’s events@portlandmercury.com. Every damn one. There is much clogging that happens in my email account—we’re talking good emails, bad emails, silly stuff, and most importantly funny pictures.
Here’s this week’s lovelies…

Big Package drummer, George (left), with a fan named Lorraine at the Out of the Blues in Tigard.
The Big Package @ Out of the Blues
Saturday, April 28
9 pm

And this one’s my favorite.

Captain Ahab spouting something out of his blowhole.
Boombox Friday @ Holocene
w/Captain Ahab, Copy, Brokenwindow, DJ P. Disco, DJ BJ
Friday, May 4
9 pm, $5

Pictorial evidence that one should never sky dive without a sports bra after the break, as it is NSFW. Thanks(?), Hint.

Here’s a good time-passer for vintage fashion enthusiasts: Vidcat features videos of recent runway shows as well as those from the ’90s, ’80s, and—best of all—old fashion(ed) newsreels from the ’60s: Christian Dior’s Summer of ‘61, a piece from ‘65 on mod sunglasses, a ‘66 London Carnaby Street runway show, and more. Kiss your productive workday bye-bye.

You have to love the daily entertainment “news” magazine, The Insider. While most trashy shows would play a segment about a 2-foot-tall PREGANT little person and her six-foot-four boyfriend for laughs, The Insider will undoubtedly present this story (tonight on FOX, 11:30 pm) as a story of hope.
Umm… is it okay if I forego the “hope” and just laugh?

They didn’t screen Next for critics in time for us to get a review in the paper, and now it’s obvious why. Loosely based on a Philip K. Dick story and starring Nicolas “Fresh Off of Ghost Rider” Cage, Next is about a dipshit (Cage) who can see into the future—well, he sort of can, but he’s not very good at it, and it doesn’t prove very useful, and by the end of the film, one really just wishes that Hollywood could see a bit more accurately into the future, so that when they greenlight films like this, they can tell ahead of time if they’re going to be a complete waste of everyone’s time. Anyway, our web-exclusive review is now up. Oh, Nicolas Cage. When will you learn?

US forces nabbed some “top Al Qaeda operative.” Weird. I thought we caught all those “top” guys ages ago.

Former CIA Director George Tenet’s slamming the Bush administration, saying they made him a scapegoat for the crappy intelligence before invading Iraq. “Tenet said President Bush had made up his mind to invade Iraq long before the CIA director made his infamous Oval Office remark that it was a “slam-dunk” case that Saddam Hussein’s government had banned weapons.”

New Hampshire approves civil unions; Episcopal bishop V. Gene Robinson plans to wed longtime partner.

Physicist Stephen Hawking tries zero gravity.

There’s a new Republican candidate for President, and he’s billing himself as a “true Reagan conservative.”

Researchers may have figured out why the United States’ honeybee population is disappearing.

The Senate sends the war funding bill—which includes a troop withdrawal plan—to Bush’s office, where he’s expected to throw a hissyfit, veto it, and then cry.

Flash mob on Alberta last night? “Many people were attending the popular ‘Last Thursday’ arts event in the neighborhood amid warm spring weather, said Sgt. Brian Schmautz, a Portland Police Bureau spokesman. By 10 p.m., some had too much alcohol, he said, while others seemed to be anarchist types.” And you know what they say about warm weather, alcohol and anarchists!

A tram neighbor told that tram passengers would not be able to see into his back yard has retaliated by placing a sign on his roof for all to read:BLACK SQUARE: COVERING UP THE WORD “FUCK”…

Go to Katu for the story. Anyone with a shot of the un-obscured roof, please mail it to: Todayinpdx@portlandmercury.com!

NPR has a interview up with Kara Jesella and Marisa Meltzer, co-authors of the forthcoming How Sassy Changed My Life: A Love Letter to the Greatest Teen Magazine of All Time.

There’s also a big ol’ exerpt from the book, which includes a quote from former
Mercury arts editor Julianne Shepherd:

Julianne Shepherd thinks she got a former job as arts editor of the Portland Mercury, a weekly in Portland, Oregon, because “in the interview, I noted Sassy as a major influence on my inchoate writing voice, and the publisher, Tim Keck [who co-founded The Onion in 1988 when he was a junior at the University of Wisconsin], was essentially like, ‘Right on! You’re hired!’ “

I never read Sassy—I was about 12 when it was bought out—but I’ve always been aware of its importance, by way of other magazines like Bust and Bitch and the tons of ‘zines and websites that it influenced. And while I’m not nostalgic for Sassy per se, the magazine seems like a sort of feminist high water-mark—and I am nostalgic for the period of time when feminism was about action and optimism, instead of defensiveness and a hostile political climate and everyone inexplicably being just so “over it.” I’m looking forward to reading the book and maybe getting a little inspired.

Kara Jesella and Marisa Meltzer will be at Powell’s on Hawthorne May 21, 7:30 pm.

BUSH AT VIRGINIA TECH: Milking it?

John Edwards’ wife Elizabeth got dragged into a discussion of President Bush’s comparative responses to the tragedies of Hurricane Katrina and Virginia Tech today. You can tell she felt pinioned by the question, but instead of dodging the answer, which she initially tries to do, she clearly felt strongly enough to go on and be honest. It’s refreshing to see somebody’s personal convictions trumping the requirement to stay on message. Good on her, and I also agree with what she said:

“What we see oftentimes is that issues that involve African Americans in this country do not get the same attention…”, “This wasn’t a pretty picture in Katrina. It was a very ugly picture. And instead you go to Virginia Tech, and it’s a beautiful campus like this is, and the story involved, a lot of people who were sort of moving up in society, instead of the people who were held down by society.”

Watch a video of her comments after the jump.

It’s day two of the PDX Film Fest, so things are starting to get warmed up. In just a few minutes here, at 4:30 pm (for god’s sake, hurry man!), the first Short Film program begins. This one takes experimental portraiture as its theme, and the subjects include ghosts, elderly projectionists, Danish hermits, and Oregon timber.

At 6:30, the films of Jacqueline Goss and Lynnne Sachs screen. I watched Goss’s “Stranger Comes to Town” and had an enormous “WTF” response. Goss interviews foreigners and immigrants about their experiences with the Department of Homeland Security (so far, interesting enough). But interviewees have designed World of Warcraft avatars for themselves, who tell the story, which is enormously distracting and not aesthetically pleasing (not to mention a really strained metaphor for identity and otherness). Hopefully “States of UnBelonging,” Sachs’s “haunting meditation on war, land, the Bible, and filmmaking” holds up better.

And finally, at 9 pm is the latest from Seattle’s Sublime Frequencies, who are “dedicated to acquiring and exposing obscure sights and sounds from modern and traditional, urban and rural frontiers via film and video, field recordings, radio and short wave transmissions, and other forms of human and natural expression not documented sufficiently by academic research, the modern recording industry, media, or corporate foundations.” That’s a mouthful. What you should expect is tons of music, scenery, and culture from places like Burma, the Western Sahara, and Mauritania, provided by filmmakers who posess smart, aesthetically keen eyes.

All screenings take place at the Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, and they’re $7 apiece or $40 for a festival pass.

Remember a few days ago, when Rep. Dennis Richardson sent out a newsletter equating the tragic shooting at Virginia Tech with the legislature’s votes on non-discrimination and domestic partnerships?

Basic Rights Oregon issued a response yesterday:

In a newsletter titled “A Tragic Week in Review”, Rep. Dennis Richardson stated,

“This past week has been like no other. On Monday the world witnessed the tragedy at Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, Virginia. On Tuesday Oregon witnessed the passage of Domestic Benefits for same-sex couples (HB 2007) and Civil Rights based on sexual orientation.”

Said [Basic Rights Oregon Interim Executive Director Aisling] Coghlan, “While our nation mourns the unprecedented loss of life at Virginia Tech, and tries to recover from the enormity of this loss, Rep. Richardson makes a vulgar comparison insulting to not only Oregonians, but to those most deeply impacted by the massacre. For Richardson to say that protecting Oregon families in times of crisis is equivalent to the mass murder of some of the best and brightest America has to offer is beyond extremely distasteful—it is outright abhorrent.”

Basic Rights Oregon’s thoughts and prayers are with the students, faculty, families and entire school community as they recover from this devastating event at Virginia Tech.

Today, Rep. Richardson shot back, calling BRO “misguided”:

Yeah, “never” did he compare the two events. Except when he called the damn newsletter “A Tragic Week in Review.”

Here it is, Star Wars nerds: Portland’s very own droid-themed mailbox, courtesy of the attention-hungry and increasingly irrelevant U.S. Postal Service. Corner of SW Broadway and Salmon.

Thanks to Lance Chess for spotting R2. Dude’s got eyesight sharper than a dianoga. Also, props to the two of you who got that reference.

I’m editor-in-chief, which means I respond to people’s letters. Here’s a letter we just received about our recent fashion issue, in which Sossity raises legitimate (if a tad obvious) concerns regarding the exclusion of fat people from its pages. Give it a read, and then? YOU BE THE EDITOR.

“Fashion Issue for Skinny People” would’ve been the more appropriate title for your fashion issue. while i can’t say that i’m very surprised to find the needs of anyone over a size 10 totally underserved in any mention of fashion, i’m still very disappointed. oh, wait, there was one boutique that goes up to a size 16, but given that these days 16 is pretty average for women, that doesn’t garner much applause. i mean, this is portland, where the fat activism movement is very active, diverse, highly populated and vocal, but hey, it’s not like we have money to spend, or a need for anything but mumus, right? never mind the fact that savvy plus, a fabulous boutique with local and national lables, friendly and helpful salespeople and reasonable prices, is right there on hawthorne along with half the other shops mentioned. never mind the fact that it’s pretty clear that women size 2-8 are not the majority in our population. never mind that for once we’d like a chance to find fun fashion without having to wade through piles and racks of clothing that dismisses our very existence, or settle for being one more girl that owns that black dress from lane bryant.

i’m challenging you to print this letter, mercury, and to do a follow up to your fashion listings that includes options for the rest of us. i’m glad to give you a list of lables, and helpful links, if you’re brave enough to help break down the wall of assumption and fatphobia. —sossity chiricuzio

So? How would YOU respond to Sossity’s letter? Jot down your response in the comments below, and YOU BE THE EDITOR!

Donna Uchizono

Last night, PICA hosted an informal get-together to let people know how the upcoming Time-Based Art Festival is shaping up. It was a quick and casual affair, but Mark Russell, Kristan Kennedy, and Erin Boberg Doughton still managed to get us all excited for the 10 days of experimental and challenging programming. Russell said that ‘07 would be “all about surprises” and “completely different than last year, although he didn’t say exactly how. (He did admit that he was surprised last year to realize that Portland audiences could handle “just about anything.” [Golly, thanks! The feller in the back turtleneck says we’re durn near as sofisticated as them audiences back east!])

The bulk of the mini-press conference was them throwing out little soundbites for for the bigger acts, which I will try to decipher from my notes after the jump (lots o’ content):

Russell kept labeling the acts the "blank" moment of the festival, as such:

The "Beauty" moment will come via the Donna Uchizono Dance Company, whom Russell described as the "Trisha Brown of our generation."

The "Funk" moment will be delivered by Marc Bamuthi Joseph, national poetry slam champion and former backup dancer for Savion Glover.

The "Challenge" moment will occur one seventh of the way through the Elevator Repair Service performance of Gatz, a marathon reading of the Great Gatsby, complete with dinner service. (It has to be mentioned that Andy Kaufman did this exact same bit at college campuses in the '70s, reading Gatsby until the audiences gave up and went home. One of his biographies said that he made it all the way through the book once at a school. I still contend that Kaufman was the best performance artist of the 20th century.)

The "Mystery" moment = the Dutch theater collective Kassys, who will be presenting a work on the topic of grief that's half film, half performance.

At this point, they mercifully dropped the "moment" delivery.

Also on hand: A group of Canadians who will spend a week training 10-year-olds how to cut hair. A the end of the festival, you can get a trim from a 5th grader.

On opening night at Pioneer Square, Rinde Eckert will coordinate multiple Portland choirs to create a ginormous chorale event in the middle of the city. (If you're in a choir, and want to participate, contact PICA directly.)

Andrew Dickson will return after the triumph of Ebay Powerseller to deliver a new, semi-autobiographical piece called Sellout, about his foray into the world of advertising.

Seattle choreographer Zoe Scofield's style was described as "feral ballet," which sounds cool.

Hand 2 Mouth Theatre will be performing their edgy musical piece Repeat After Me, which is actually running in Portland right now, through April 29.

And finally, it was announced that the late night Works programming would be held at Wonder Ballroom this year, which is an interesting choice. (It's a tough thing to manage, as most of the audience just wants to drink and mingle, while a substantial chunk of the audience is there to see a performance. Thus, it usually looks like the crowd doesn't give a shit about the performance, which sucks for the performer and the audience. Since the Wonder is basically one huge room, it'll be interesting to see how this plays out.) The Works artists mentioned included Anna Oxygen, YACHT, Cartune Xprez, BARR, Greasy Kid Stuff, Fred Frith, and a bunch of Japanese noise artists, including Aki Onda.

Whew. That's a lot of linkage. Check out next week's issue of the Mercury for a preview of TBA's visual art programming, which was very smart and exciting last year.

As you might expect, the Mercury offices are full of insipid little chattering beasts that their owners have the audacity to refer to as dogs. No big deal. They aren’t really a distraction to the staff and hardly ever knock over waste baskets or defecate in office thoroughfares. Why they’re delightful—they’re just not quite dogs.

This is a dog:

Well it appears someone has come up with a very sexy way to keep the little buggers from breeding—though I thought they reproduced by getting dashed with water after midnight or something, it turns out they procreate the same way mom and pop did. You know, the ol’ weasel n’ wheelbarrow. Anyhoo, their birth control works a little different than ours. Check it out after the jump.

OMG! OMFingG!

More at Gizmodo

Mad bargains to be had at Le Train Bleu right now. If I didn’t already have my clothing allowance earmarked for a trip to Halo, I wouldn’t even point out this particular gem: A classic Bi La Li trapeze coat with adorable 3/4 length sleeves originally priced at $620 marked down to $198? My god, that should be hanging in my closet right now waiting for Fall to hit again.

Ah, Food Fight! Listen, I know you hate me ever since the sheep incident, that there’s no love lost between us, and so on. But I can’t help but marvel at your attitudes occasionally. And no, I am not vegan-baiting. Merely vegan-marvelling. You’re marvellous. Really. Today’s blog has this photo of a Belmont sign, graffiti’d with the words “only psychos make jokes about mass-murder,” and “fuck you.”Foodfight!’s comment is:“Thanks to whomever did this.”

Having been accused of “immaturity” in my own efforts to understand where my food comes from, I find this attitude a little rich. That’s all.

Will local band The Hugs be big in the UK before they get noticed here in the PDX?
MP3: The Hugs - North (unmastered demo)

Speaking of not being noticed, um, The Grails? Pay attention people!
MP3: The Grails - Dead Vine Blues

Is there better World Music than that crap my Mom listens to on NPR? Yup. Konono No.1 will dismantle your car, make a record with its parts and then tour with Bjork.
MP3: Konono No.1 - Masikulu

Frogs Eyes chats about making their very own Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere. I don’t know why they didn’t take my advice and name a song “Cinnamon Toast Crunch Girl.”
MP3: Frog Eyes - Bushels

Someone’s got a boner for Jarvis Cocker. It’s me! Finally, an excuse to drive to Seattle that doesn’t involve Raul Ibanez.
MP3: Jarvis Cocker - Don’t Let Him Waste Your Time

• Hugh Grant arrested again! (But instead of getting caught with a prostitute, he threw a tub of baked beans on photographer.) UPGRADE!

• Prince invites Paris Hilton onstage with him—and proceeds to publicly humiliate her. UPGRADE!

• Sanjaya’s mom grows a lot of pot. I mean, A LOT of pot! (Which could explain why Sanjaya kept forgetting the words.) DOWNGRADE!

• And you can pretend all you want… but who doesn’t love… CELEBRITY BABY PICTURES? UPGRADE!

At the City Club three months ago, I ranted about the fact that Portland is too damn nice. “Gripped with a paralyzing politeness,” was, I believe, my exact words.

Here’s why that’s a problem: People, especially in local politics, frequently have a hard time coping with disagreement. They take policy disputes personally, seeing disagreement as an attack—as not being “nice.” For evidence, I pointed to Mayor Potter’s reaction to Randy Leonard’s demands for an audit on PDC’s land dealings at SW 3rd and Oak last summer. Potter couldn’t go along with it, because it might come across as insulting to the employees of PDC, who are all dedicated and work hard.

Now, the former members of the Charter Review Commission—and now members of Citizens to Reform City Hall—are reportedly taking personally some criticisms of their work. Particularly, they feel insulted by complaints that the charter change process wasn’t public enough, and didn’t involve more of the community.

From the O:

Northwest Portland activist Chris Smith, who is running one of two campaigns against the changes, gives Potter credit for ensuring cultural diversity on the study group. But he says the commission’s work was predetermined and not subject to enough public debate.

After [Bob] Ball began a presentation at a recent debate by explaining that he was one of 26 members of the charter review commission, Smith introduced himself this way: “I’m Chris Smith, and I’m one of thousands of people who wasn’t on the charter review commission.”

For Ball, the night got no better. “I was sitting there thinking, ‘Thank God the other members aren’t here,’ ” he said. “I felt like I was taking spears.”

We addressed some of this in our endorsement—no one is suggesting that the commission didn’t work hard, or that they were intentionally holed up away from the public. In fact, we gave them points for attempting to bring the discussion out to the community, but short of the star power of someone like Potter bringing attention to those meetings, few people were paying attention.

That said—Jesus, people! This is politics! People are going to disagree with you. People are going to say that your idea is dumb. People are going to criticize any number of things you’ve done. If anything, I’d say this has been far more congenial than most political debates—and maybe that’s part of the problem. Everyone’s trying to be so polite, so accommodating to “Portland Nice,” that as soon as someone disagrees, it’s like “taking spears.”

Thursday really is the new Friday, it seems, and so the weekend kicks off early style with a trunk show/party at the Mercantile with your friends in eco-style, Sameunderneath, from 5-8 pm. If you need to get your beauty rest on a school night, though, the trunk show itself will continue through May 3rd. If you’ve never checked out the classic streetwear basics that Sameunderneath renders in environmentally low-impact bamboo blends, it’s worth a gander. Here’s a couple pieces from their spring line, peep the rest here.

Ballots for the May 15th election are being mailed out tomorrow, which means you’ll be getting yours any day now. Perfect timing, then, for our wonktastic endorsements for the four charter change ballot measures and the Portland school board.

Artwork by Lukas Ketner

In short, YES, YES, NO, YES, Adkins, Schultz.

Unfortunately, we’ve made our friend Amanda Fritz blow a fuse.

I’m still too flummoxed by last night’s American Idol’s “Idol Gives Back” charity performance to figure out how I feel about it. (I don’t know… it’s kind of like a porn shop raising money for muscular dystrophy.) And while the show was chock-a-block with celebrity performances, I really don’t know how I feel about Idol featuring dead people. Watch the video below, and see if you can correctly choose “WHICH CELEBRITY IS DEAD?”

Briefly:

The US House of Representatives approved a timetable for withdrawing troops from Iraq. Next stop, the Senate.

Sen. Barack Obama’s catching up to Sen. Hillary Clinton in the presidential polls.

India wants to arrest Richard Gere for kissing a Bollywood star.

New Hampshire about to approve civil unions.

Charter review committee “more than a little insulted by opponents’ contention that the mayor didn’t seek enough public input before putting a proposed change in Portland’s form of government onto the ballot.”

Democratic candidate for president John Edwards is going to be here on May 2. At the same place Steve Novick announced his candidacy for senate—the Longshoremen’s Union Hall, 2435 NW Front.

Free, but if you want to go, you gotta RSVP here. Two Americas, indeed!

Speaking of the two Americas—if you’ve got $2,300 or $1,000 to spare, you regular old working class American you, you can RSVP for a special reception later that evening here. Someone tell Kulongoski to save his food stamps if he wants to get into this thing.

Blitz Bar is a newish Pearl District bar near Powells. I stumbled into it the other night ‘cause I was seeing a play at the Armory and my theater-going partner sagely decided she couldn’t see Bad Dates sober. Had we not been in dire need of a quick drink I probably would never have noticed it—it barely looked open from the outside, but tinted window glass and limited signage (at least on the 10th ave side) hide a surprisingly big, bright space.
Inside was a fairly standard, fairly sedate (at about 7 pm on a Friday) sports bar done up with particle board and promotional schwag from liquor companies.

We showed up in time to catch the tail end of happy hour, which features cheap ballpark-themed items like chili cheese fries, onion rings, potato skins, and corn dogs, plus wells and drafts $1 off. We ordered some fries (only $1 during happy hour), which were cut thick and surprisingly good—definitely a step above the fried husks a lot of bars put out.

More after the jump. Come on, you know you want to.

The atmosphere was initially a bit on the chilly side—it was mostly empty, save for a rack of dudes watching baseball, and the decor is "meh"—but it was definitely relaxed for the 'hood. Also, I'm easily swayed by good service, and the bartender was a total sweetheart, friendly and pleasant. She let us know that what we took to be the whole bar was only the upstairs, so after we finished our beers we ventured downstairs to take a peek at the rest.

Downstairs looks like a different bar altogether. It's a big cluster of rooms that reminded me of Watership Down, with a main central bar, tables, shuffleboard, and pool tables. It also seemed like a total, unabashed meat market: If I were single and looking to get a piece of Pearlie tail (if!), this would be my first, and probably last, stop.

The bartender told me that they were thinking of bringing DJs and live music in eventually; meanwhile, Gustav is spinning his Cocktail Mix for 94.7 there this Friday, which I note only because I used to have a radio crush on Gustav even though I'm pretty sure he's old and not as cute as he sounds.

Blitz Bar is non-smoking, open for breakfast daily at 7 am. Has anyone else tried their food?

110 NW 10th, 222-2229

Be sure to check out this week’s episode of SO HOT RIGHT NOW, featuring a mini-set by E*Rock that focuses on the art of the unofficial remix. You can also read E*Rock’s descriptions of the songs in the post. It’s waiting for you right here.

I am getting into the spirit of the season with some spring cleaning of my wardrobe. I’m not sure if it’s normal to get as much pleasure out of this process as I do: Trying on literally everything that I own and analyzing whether or not it’s time to give it the boot. Do I ever wear it? Does it even look good? Too tattered? Ugly? Oh, the hours of fun. Then it’s off to the Red Light where I might get enough money selling them to buy a nice sandwich, and give the rest to charity. That’s because I’m small-time, but women in the big-time go through the same process, and their castaways are from Armani and Chloé, for instance. Thanks to the internet, you can have clothing swaps with such people, but frankly I am extremely wary of EBay. The British site ClothesAgency is similar, but more straightforward: There’s no auction/bidding/waiting/strategizing, just straight you like it, you buy it. It also is all high end clothing-specific, either unused or barely used. And you don’t necessarily have to use PayPal, which also gives me the willies. It’s also cheap to sell, should you have anything worth selling. Here is an example of a nice find (because 80% of the point of spring wardrobe cleaning is making room for new things):

This is a mini-dress from the aforementioned Chloé, brand new with the tags still on. The price is 75 British pounds, which if you roughly say is twice that much in US dollars, means it’s $150. Compare that to a never-owned Chloé dress, which will run you $1,000 at minimum, and potentially well over $5,000.

Tonight begins the first of five jam-packed nights of the always fun and thought-provoking PDX Film Fest at the Hollywood Theatre. The first screening is called Charged In the Name of Terror, which is described as “four video portraits by contemporary artists that look at the Patriot Act and abuses of power.” I watched the first of those four portraits and it was like dying in my sleep—I just wasn’t feeling it. But that’s not to say tonight’s a write-off.

At 9 pm, there’s a big ass opening night party (Matt McCormick gives you 1080 reasons to attend) at Audio Cinema (226 SE Madison, underneath the Hawthorne Bridge) that coincides with the launch of Retinal Reverb, a huge installation of video installation art curated by Stephen Slappe and Mack McFarland. These guys have a great reputation for pulling together really good work of this genre. The show will also be open from Thurs-Sat, noon-6 pm, and I think it’s going to be one of the best art shows of the month, if not the spring. Stay tuned for more PDX Film Fest updates as the week rolls on.

UPDATE: The Senate Judiciary Committee has voted to send the domestic partnership bill on to the full senate. Only Senator Beyer opposed.

The domestic partnership bill, HB 2007, is up in senate committee this afternoon.

Before testimony, committee vice-chair Senator Roger Beyer (R-Mollala) has a beef:

“[This bill] seems to amend everything without mentioning anything,” Sen. Beyer commented, indicating that the bill—which grants all of the same rights and responsibilities of marriage to same-sex couples, but calls it domestic partnerships—is vague.

I think the language is pretty damn clear, even if it doesn’t list all 500 rights it will grant:

Provides that any privilege, immunity, right or benefit granted by law to individual who is or was married is granted to individual who is or was in a domestic partnership. Provides that any responsibility imposed by law on individual who is or was married is imposed on individual who is or was in a domestic partnership.

Expect more nit-picking from Beyer later. But first, members of the governor’s Task Force on Equality are up, to explain why they recommended the bill in the first place. Dan Bryant, Senior Minister of First Christian Church in Eugene, and the President of Ecumenical Ministries of Oregon, is giving a great speech on how we’re all made in god’s image, sexual identity and all—so granting these benefits is the right and Christian thing to do.

“I urge you to grant domestic partnership to the thousands of couples in our state for whom something is everything,” Bryant concluded.

Updates after the cut!

(It's easier to stack updates at the top—so the oldest stuff's at the bottom, newest at the top, not counting the intro above.)

2:56pm—Sen. Ginny Burdick closes the public testimony, and asks for a motion to consider, which would forward the bill to the senate. Walker did so, with a do-pass recommendation.

Sen. Beyer wants a fiscal statement. Of course he does. Burdick says "it's my understanding there wasn't a fiscal impact."

VOTE: Everyone but Beyer voted for it (that's Burdick, Berger, and Prozanski. Kruse was excused.)

2:49pm—Bonnie Tinker, of Love Makes a Family Inc, is here to speak neutrally on the bill! "If we must bear the indignity of domestic partnerships, at least open it up to all couples," Tinker urged. "I know at least three heterosexual couples who have not married in Oregon because they don't want to accept special rights not available to same-sex couples."

"Please amend HB 2007 to remove discrimination based on sex," she added. "And once you pass this bill, please work to overturn [Measure 36]."

2:38pm—"We introduce ourselves in relation to our families no matter which side of this issue we're on," says one woman in support of the bill, after she introduced her partner and their two children. (One of those two kids, the nine month old, is on his mom Katie's shoulder—next to OFC's Nick Graham, and practically drooling on his shoulder.) These are the two women who married in Portland during that short time it was allowed—on the way to the hospital, as Katie was in labor with their son.

Another woman spoke up about she and her partner, and their panic during medical complications when her partner was in labor—she had to frantically locate their powers of attorney documents.

That actually raises a question for me—several couples here have spoken of legal documents that they tote around, in case they need to prove that they can make decisions for each other. Will that really change if domestic partnerships become legal? One cultural power of marriage is a husband or wife's ability to declare that they're someone's spouse, and people don't question it. Will same-sex couples get the same respect? Or will we be forced to tote around our domestic partnership paperwork, instead of those powers of attorney?

2:31pm—Aisling Coghlin, interim executive director of Basic Rights Oregon, is speaking in favor of the bill. She also pointed out that groups like the Oregon Family Council, back during the Measure 36 campaign, did not campaign against civil unions or domestic partnerships. Burdick thanked her for pointing that out, and said she thinks it's because of the fact that they didn't oppose those rights "that they got as many votes as they did."

2:26pm—Two women—both nurses—came up to talk about their relationship. "We're late bloomers. We came to find out that we're lesbians in the second half of our lives," said one of the two (they appear to be in their 50s). Her partner pointed out that when she was married to a man, she had all sorts of rights that she lost, simply because "of who I love."

Because they're older, they've got things like retirement, funeral arrangements, hospitalizations on their minds—things they'd like to be empowered to make decisions for each other on.

2:24pm—Burdick invited Sam Adams up to testify. "I just wanted to stop by and thank you for your consideration of this legislation. It's important to tens of thousands of Oregonians," especially those that don't enjoy local legislation—as in Portland—that offers some protections. "This bill you're considering today isn't something that local jurisdictions have any purview over, and I wanted to thank you. It means a lot."

2:21pm—an opponent named Alex (Vesly?) doesn't them want them to pass a law that has "no basis in morality." The legislators can't "pass a law that is immoral."

Portland City Commissioner Sam Adams just popped in—I'm guessing he's in Salem today for "City Hall Day."

2:11pm—a "wife, mother, Catholic" from Salem says "homosexuality is a high risk activity" and "a choice." She just busted out the "high correlation between child molestation and homosexuality" bullshit. The crowd groaned. "The life expectancy of homosexuals is 43 years, due to increase risk of... anal cancer, gonorrhea, gastro-intestinal cancer," she claims. Um... I don't recall her listing a medical credential, but this "report" she's reading MUST be accurate. (Props to Sen. Ginny Burdick for cutting her off!)

Sen. Floyd Prozanski: "You've made some amazing statements." As a former prosecutor, he busted plenty of child molesters—not a single one gay. He wants documentation of the lady's wild claims.

Sen. Vicki Berger—"I sat here very patiently, but I was quite frankly shocked by some of the statements made here today. Out of the seven men who sexually abused me, not a single one was gay, as I've said before."

2:05pm—Two guys from Eugene, together for 11 years, are here to speak in support of the bill. They're adopting two kids later this year, and this bill means they'll both be recognized as parents. One of the men, Gus, a school principal, says granting these rights paves the way for gay and lesbian youth to live better lives, as they'll see examples of healthy, loving relationships, and will be spared (hopefully) the self esteem beat down that is a state debating whether or not you're worthy of equal rights.

As to whether this bill is just "marriage by another name," the other man, Todd, points out that "the vast majority of marriage rights are conferred by the federal government."

2:01pm—PGE, like Nike, hearts the gays and wants them to be treated equally. (An aside: I get why these corporate stamps of approval are important to win wide support for bills like this, but lawd, human resource-y speeches are dull. Appreciated, but dull.)

1:55pm—time for two opponents. Charles Felton, ordinary citizen, who "until recently has been proud to be an Oregonian." HB 2007 is part of an "Oregon trail of bad bills."

Another woman, Aisling (didn't catch her last name), opposes the bill. She's not opposed to "the mother who is here with her child, getting benefits." She's here because she thought Oregonian's "already voted on this issue." What she, her family, and "the Bible believes is not being represented." She wants a statewide vote on this bill. (Remember, a poll's already been done, which resulted in this bill morphing from "civil unions" to "domestic partnerships" to better survive a challenge—civil unions, in a vote, would nab 41% of voters against it, while DPs would only garner 20-some percent opposition. So Aisling—it's like you already voted!)

1:49pm—Reps from Nike are up to testify. Oregon's only Fortune 500 company.... supports diversity... good for employees, good for business...domestic partnerships compliments the anti-discrimination bill..."further enhance our ability to attract top talent"... etc etc etc.

Randy Lyons, Senior Project Manager for Global Information Technology at Nike—and head of the company's gay employee group—urges the senators to "make Oregon safe and welcoming for all of its residents."

1:41pm—a panel of bill proponents are up. Kelly Burke—toting her 1-year-old baby, whom she's raising (along with a son) with her partner Delores—to talk about how their "ability to take care of each other is very vulnerable." A few days after their son was born, Kelly had to rush to the hospital with post-birth complications; She realized on the way that should she die, her partner's second-parent adoption hadn't gone through yet, and their son would legally be an orphan.

They ran into medical issues again when Delores was recently fighting breast cancer; Speaking with a nurse on the phone when Delores was having trouble breathing, the nurse told Kelly she could only speak to Delores, despite notes all over her medical chart that Kelly had medical power of attorney.

"I need your support, leadership and courage to protect families like ours," Burke concluded.

1:31pm—the Oregon Family Council's Nick Graham is up to rail against the bill. As if on cue, a gay couple's baby—playing in the back row—babbled "uh oh uh oh!" The crowd—which is mostly bill supporters—giggled.

"Oregon Family Council is opposed to HB 2007," Graham says. He concedes that the way 2007 is written seems to align constitutionally with Measure 36, the constitutional amendment against marriage his group campaigned for. But domestic partnerships are still too close to marriage for OFC. Graham would rather see the reciprocal benefits bill pass (offering some benefits currently reserved for marriage couples to anyone; however, that bill only grants about 300 of the 500 rights).

This bill extends "to gay and lesbian families only. Why not grant benefits to any two people who cannot legally marry, like two dependent sisters?" Graham suggested. Graham echoed Beyer's earlier "too vague" comments, too, saying that this is "a bill we don't ultimately know the outcome of."

Except that he does! While researching reciprocal benefits, his group found over 400 mentions of marriage or spousal benefits in state law, and they picked through those to decide which ones should apply more widely in the reciprocal bill, skipping ones like "the 80 or so that deal with federal law" and those regarding divorce or family law. But guess what Graham? Divorce benefits are just as important as partnership benefits—the ability to equitably end a relationship is important.

1:30pm—The committee's discussing tax benefits under domestic partnerships—the law would grant the same tax benefits and responsibilities for state taxes that married couples have, but same-sex couples would still have to file their federal taxes separately (and probably pay more). "What a shame," Sen. Vicki Berger commented.

Ok, so you all know YACHT. And Yachts. And, of course, Yacht Rock.

In honor of the upcoming Yacht CD Release party aboard the Crystal Dolphin on May 5th, we are giving away a couple pairs of tickets to this nautical party. You and a guest can watch YACHT rock the boat, while I drunkenly vomit off the ship’s railings, due to a lethal combination of Dramamine and Peach Schnapps.

To win the tickets, you must email me your nomination for greatest Yacht Rocker ever. Get creative, and be sure to keep your entry less than a hundred words. Is it Michael McDonald, Christopher Cross, Kenny Loggins, or someone else? Entries must be in my inbox by Friday at noon.

Good luck, and keep it smooth.

Just yesterday we were having a discussion around the office about what ’90s catchphrases are still acceptable today. Still acceptable: “Wazzzzup?” Unacceptable: following any sentence with “NOT!”
HOWEVER!
I still think “NOT!” can be used as the ultimate douchebag parody. Take for example this 1992 Nerf Slingshot commercial starring a still unknown SETH GREENE, wearing the most attractive ’90s hairdo ever.

NOT!!!!

Hat tips to Brohans.

I’m in Salem again, waiting for the senate hearing on the domestic partnerships bill. I had to crash my way through a huge crowd on the capitol steps, though—here to protest a bill that would scrutinize “crisis pregnancy centers” (the anti-abortion sham clinics that lure women in with the promise of pregnancy tests, so they can counsel them and preach to them against abortion). Their red shirts had a slogan that said something like “protect women’s lifestyle choices”—a somewhat clever play on the language of choice.

(Check back in a bit for a blog about the senate hearing!)

Bumper stickers are a constant overwhelming puzzle to me. Why are all these people fighting about their Chevy trucks vs. their Ford trucks. Why?? I started noticing a real disturbing trend last week with warring cowgirls. I grew up in a cow town so it’s no surprise to see bumper stickers like these…

or this one…

Okay, I get it! You’re a slutty cowgirl who likes to ride it rough.

But this next one totally blew me away. Did you know there’s all these cowgirls out there who don’t want to be known as sluts? Can you imagine the rumble that would go down between the sluts and the prudes… imagine all the hats and belt buckles. I’d watch that.