I pretty much love getting anything that’s free, but when the free things in question are comic books? That’s just about the best thing ever. (I mean, sure, okay, maybe somewhere there’s a “Free Cocaine and Hookers Day,” but until I figure out where that is [I’m guessing Mexico?], I’ll happily make do with Free Comic Book Day.)

Here’s the deal: Walk into a comic book shop sometime today, get some free comics. Aaaaannnd… that’s it. Below’s a list of participating Portland comic book stores; go here for a few more, and here for a list of the comics that’ll be available. Plus, a bunch of stores are having signings with comic book creators today, too. (My recommendation? Terry Dodson at Things From Another World; he’s one of my favorite Spider-Man artists, and he draws a badass Wonder Woman to boot.) Happy reading.

• Bridge City Comics (3725 N Mississippi) (Featuring signings from comic writers Adam Gallardo and Rick Remender)
• Cosmic Monkey Comics (5335 NE Sandy)
• Floating World Comics (20 NW Fifth Ave) (Featuring art by local comic artists Zack Soto, T Edward Bak, and Josh Simmons)
• Future Dreams (1847 E Burnside)
• Guapo Comics & Coffee (6416 SE Foster)
• Excalibur Books and Comics (2444 SE Hawthorne)
• Things From Another World (4133 NE Sandy) (Artist Terry Dodson signing from 2-4 pm)

Speaking of digital politics!

Mr. Butts has gotten his own blog, which has allowed him to crow about the defeat of the Healthy Kids Plan, which would have paid for health insurance for uninsured kids through a cigarette tax.

It’s satire, blog, action alert, and even YouTube all rolled into one.

NOTE: Some of the items in The Week in Geek may have been posted elsewhere on the Internet before appearing here. If you discover such an item, Please let us know about it in the comments!

The big news this week is of course the way-too-well-publicized cracking of the HD-DVD encryption. This story has been around the world and back 892,000 times so far, and next week it will be forgotten. If you bought a clever t-shirt, you have 20 more minutes to gain any kind of cool points wearing it. After that, points will be deducted.

Moving on!

Awwww - Google rebranded their “personalized home page” service as “iGoogle” this week. Now, in addition to adding your local weather and favorite blogs to your homepage, you can make it super cute! Here’s mine.

Where all your pedophilic dreams come true - This week Disney launched Disney Xtreme Digital, a social networking site for preteens. It’s unclear whether one has to be an xtreme preteen to sign up, but what is clear is that despite whatever security controls they think they have, the whole enterprise is bound for tragedy.

Speaking of Internet predators, the Brussels police are apparently investigating a case of virtual rape in the freakishly popular nerd-world Second Life. I don’t know what to say about this.

The 11th Annual Webby Awards were announced his week, and The Mercury didn’t even win ONE! Now I know how.. whoever.. feels.

Ironic! - Business 2.0 Magazine loses June issue and has no backup. Ha!

Fat kids to be encouraged to play more video games at school. This can’t miss. Seriously, if your video game-obsessed kids are getting fat, maybe you should stop feeding them so much, and take away their video games. Just a thought.

Command of the week: mv blog damnblog

Talk about ending the week on a good note! PARIS HILTON is going to jail! After being pulled over for alcohol-related reckless driving, the judge considered that a violation of her parole and sentenced her to 45 days in a Lynwood women’s correctional facility. Even better?

Hilton, who parlayed her name and relentless partying into worldwide notoriety, must go to jail on June 5 and she will not be allowed any work release, furloughs, use of an alternative jail or any electronic monitoring in lieu of jail, Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer ruled after a hearing.

You may start your “Paris Goes to Prison” jokes… NOW!!

Speaking of the internet, and web-based campaigning/fundraising!

Check this out, dork: The Oregon Bus Project and Loaded Orygun (with some help from us and others) are holding a forum on May 15th at Acme called “Digital Politics: More That Meets The Eye” to talk about “how technology is transforming the political playing field.”

Signed on so far:
Kari Chisholm from Blue Oregon & Mandate Media
Anna Galland from MoveOn.org
and the Mercury’s own Amy J. Ruiz
plus “everyone’s favorite (or most hated) office assistant, Clippy from MS Word!”

The biggest news—the forum will be moderated by renowned political journalist/blogger/strategist David Sirota.

Even better? It’s Election Night, so I’ll be there blogging away about the election returns and, god willing, we’ll turn the rest of the evening into an Election Night Party.

Tuesday, May 15th, 7pm
Acme Food & Drink
1305 SE 8th Ave (SE 8th and Main)
FREEEEE!

Just a li’l reminder that Amalee (909 N Beech Ste A), the newest boutique in the Mississippi hub, opened its doors today. Look for cute, classic pieces at a modest price point if you stop by after work today or over the weekend. And look out for their grand opening, tentatively scheduled for the first week in June.

So it’s on the spendy side, but if you’ve got some spare change to drop, this weekend’s Indie Wine Festival might not be a bad way to spend it. The two-day festival offers the chance to taste forty different Oregon wines, plus an impressive assortment of snacks from local restaurants and businesses including Wildwood, Alma Cocolates, Simpatica, and Red Star Tavern.

Urban Wineworks & Chown Garage, NW 16th & 17th between Flanders and Everett, May 5-6, 3-6 pm, $60/day or $100 for both days

A week and a half ago, in the comments to this post about the sit-lie ordinance, a reader asked if the ordinance in question was online somewhere:

Could someone point me to a link were I can find the actual verbiage for the proposed Sit/Lie Ordinance?

Seems like a pretty straightforward request in 2007, for a city that talks a hell of a lot about valuing citizen participation and government accessibility. But, like a lot of things, it seems Portland’s all talk and no action on this issue.

I emailed both the city clerk and assistant city clerk last week, asking “if drafts of council legislation are available online.” That was April 24.

Two days ago, the city council voted on the sit-lie ordinance.

Today, the mayor’s public safety policy assistant send me a copy of the ordinance.

While I appreciate that he sent me a copy of the bill, that wasn’t the question (and it’s a few days late). As a reporter, I have all day to call up city officials and ask for copies of things. Sure, citizens have the right to do this too—but who has the time and energy to track down the staffer who holds the draft you’re looking for?

Why aren’t these things online, like they are in Seattle (which links drafted legislation to the weekly council agenda), San Francisco (same thing), and Los Angeles (you guessed it). Maybe it’s unfair to compare Portland to such big cities. So let’s look at smaller ones, locally. Yep, they’ve got it together, too: Check out Eugene (clunky interface, but it’s all there), Bend (goes overboard, linking to “assessments” and “issue summaries” in addition to basic bills and resolutions), and Beaverton (they offer a whole packet of info). The state government’s got a great system, too, offering initial bills plus amendments.

Now compare that to Portland’s system, where the agenda doesn’t link to a damn thing, and the council clerk’s page is nothing but lists. No links, just lists of upcoming items with arcane names that only people like the commissioners, Scott Moore, and Amanda Fritz understand. (Speaking of Amanda—I’m quite certain she hit on this same topic on her blog recently.)

I replied to the mayor’s assistant, thanking him for the copy of the ordinance, but asking again:

The question I was asking the clerks, however, is if bills/draft legislation are posted online, so citizens can take a look at what the council will be voting on, discussing, amending. I was specifically looking for a link to the current sit-lie draft, but my larger question still stands—is the text of proposed ordinances posted online anywhere? If not, are there plans to do this, or to upgrade the city council agenda to include links to bills?

thanks for any info,
Amy

I’ll let you know what I hear.

People come up to me all the time and ask, “Hey, aren’t you Wm. Steven Humphrey, the celebrated pitcher for the awesome Mercury Softball Team who were league champions for two amazing seasons in a row?”
And I say, “Yes.”
Then they say, “How do you guys do it? How do you so consistantly win, win, and then win again?”
And while I usually tell them to get stuffed, because they’re too weak to handle our secret, I’ve decided that “success should be shared.” The reason why we always win is because we never start a game without 1) Thanking the big man upstairs, 2) Sacrificing a goat on the sacred altar of Kalee, and 3) Watching “Michael Bolton’s Winning Softball.” The way we look at it, if Michael Bolton can be a winner, so can we.

First game of the season: June 1.

I just got off the phone with Will Shortz, New York Times puzzle editor, and NPR’s puzzle master. There’ll be a Q&A with him in the paper next week—he’ll be in town on Thursday for Portland Arts & Lectures (and to play table tennis).

I’ve had an ongoing disagreement with several people, as to the validity of my technique for working on the hard-as-hell Sunday NYT crossword. Is it acceptable to do research when a clue clearly has a fact based or historical answer? Like today’s 16 Across, “Dodger who threw the pitch Bobby Thomson hit for the ‘shot heard round the world.’” Would it be okay to crack open an almanac (or, who’s kidding, the internets) to find Ralph Branca—or is that cheating?

Erik Henriksen has been calling me a cheater all day, for suggesting this as a viable strategy. Will Shortz, however, didn’t even let me finish the question—he’s obviously been asked this before. His verdict? “It’s your puzzle.”

Looking to cash in on his “embarrassment” after being mentioned in the Mercury this week, Portland’s “bad apple” rent-a-cop, Kevin Chard, called up again—this time, he wants to sell his story.

Click here to listen to the message he left on the Mercury’s voice mail last night. In case it’s not clear, here’s a transcript:

Hi Matt, it’s Kevin Chard again. After thinking about it if you want more information I’ll let you know but it’ll cost some money. I’ll divulge whatever information you want but, you know, it doesn’t come cheap. It comes with a price. So if you want the information, you want the scoop, you guys have gotta pay. Give me a call.

To remind you: Chard worked for PPI—the security firm patrolling downtown whose officers’ look like real cops, have similar uniforms, and many of whom carry real guns (and should in theory have ethics)—between October 2006 and February 2007. His employment was terminated after a criminal background check returned saying he had a “disqualifying criminal history.”

PPI officers share some of the same duties as real cops. In fact, they could easily be—and often are—mistaken for police officers by the average person on the street. But unlike real cops, they have no oversight. And their background checks are a little looser. Cough.

[Loaded silence.]

Cough.

We are the Mercury, but our publisher’s really tightened up the bribery budget this year. Still, we’re thinking about offering him a pound of Stumptown coffee and two tickets to the Laurelhurst for his story. Comments?

According to the Chicago Tribune, a new hate crimes bill, which the House passed yesterday, has some folks in the religious community upset. Many say the President already has plans to veto the bill.

It is a tricky bill, for instance, some say “A pastor could be held liable for giving a sermon against homosexuality if a listener later attacked a gay individual.” This would explain why the President is against it… This means he could be held liable for giving any of his speeches since many of them could drive a listener to try and attack him.

It’s a double edged sword, but it does explain why “103 agents reportedly are being hired to guard George W. Bush — after he leaves office.”

Portland Copwatch has suggested offering $150,000 to council to match the funds put up by the Portland Business Alliance as part of the mayor’s Street Access For Everyone (SAFE) group—in exchange for the sit/lie law, which heads to a second vote in council next Wednesday, having passed muster with council on Wednesday this week. Here are excerpts from a letter by Dan Handelman of Portland Copwatch to City Council this morning:

It is pretty clear from the Portland Business Alliance (PBA) testimony that they are the driving force pushing for this law…

The PBA has offered $150,000 over the next two years to fund the Day Access Center and the alternative plans to expand it—namely showers and lockers for those without homes. These are clearly much needed amenities that came from discussions with the community.

However, the only homeless people who testified on Wednesday were strongly against the ordinance. The homeless community newspaper Street Roots submitted written testimony against the ordinance. Sisters of the Road Cafe testified against the ordinance. Perhaps it is worth considering that putting the day center, showers, and bathrooms in place are good public policy ideas and can exist without the Sit/Lie ordinance.

Or maybe if we want to see changes made to the ordinance, Portland Copwatch and other grassroots organizations need to offer to pay the City $150,000. It is starting to look as if that is how public policy is defined in a City that professes its concerns about lobbying and “special interests”—money talks.

Well said, Dan!

How can Portland profess to be a city where the community is involved in public decision-making, while bargains are struck in private subcommittee meetings between special interests and the powers that be?

If people want to contact City Council between now and next Wednesday, when the ordinance will officially be voted on, there’s still time—perhaps to raise the money necessary to call off the vote! concerns.

This forward just landed in my inbox (Scott, get back to work!):

How smart is Your Right Foot ? ?

Just try this. It is from an orthopedic surgeon…

This will boggle your mind and you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can’t. It’s preprogrammed in your brain!

1. WITHOUT anyone watching you (they will think you are GOOFY) and while sitting where you are at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number ‘6’ in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction.

I told you so!!! And there’s nothing you can do about It!

You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done you are going to try it again, if you’ve not already done so.

Report your results below.

Ok, I give up. I have no idea why Josie Bissett from Melrose Place was at a fashion show in Portland last weekend. You’ll remember her as Jane, the beleagured wife of the evil Dr Michael Mancini:

Other than the fact that she is from Washington (born in Seattle, went to Thomas Jefferson high in Federal Way). But check it, totally her (this was as close I could zoom without being really obvious about the fact that I was trying to take a photo of her. But I stood right next to her in the VIP lounge, and it is totally her. Others will corroborate:

Was watching The Wire on DVD last night thinking about the fact that it is May and yet we still had the heater on and I was wishing I had one of these:

Delicious. A Souchi cashmere blanket. My cats are big Souchi fans too. They won’t leave me alone if I’m wearing one of their sweaters and they would definitely watch The Wire with us if there was a cashmere blanket involved instead of busying themselves with knocking things over in the kitchen. And under the blanket I would wear this:

This seems like a great transitional outfit for right now, when the weather vacillates from hailing to sunshine in the span of a half hour. I adore that cropped length. I may or may not add shoes. Apparently they love Souchi in Seattle too. And not just Souchi, but Kate Towers, Elizabeth Dye, Dayna Pinkham, Liza Rietz, a broken spoke, Emily Ryan, Frocky Jack Morgan… all Portlanders who represented on the “local flavor” front at a fashion show called Thaw in Seattle last night. Seems like Seattle had to borrow pretty heavily from the PDX pool of talent, with our familiar names making for the majority of the designs. Hmm, interesting…

After last year’s Dwyane-Wade-fouled-on-every-play NBA finals, I lost a lot of faith in post-season basketball. Thankfully the Golden State vs Dallas series, which concluded last night with a 111-86 Warriors victory, renewed my faith in how absolutely amazing the NBA playoffs can be.

Now the real question is, how long will the scrappy underdogs of Golden State last? One more round? Victim of the Suns or Spurs? NBA Championship? Only Baron Davis’ beard knows for sure.

Sad Mavericks photo courtesy of Deadspin.

Another reason to dislike Adam Sandler? He’s giving money to Republican Rudy Giuliani’s campaign.

Conservative media magnate Rupert Murdoch’s main problem with the The Wall Street Journal, which he may be acquiring? “Too many long stories.” YEAH!! And not enough Garfield!

One out of three Americans dislike CBS News’ Katie Couric. And if you add me to the equation, that makes it two out of four.

House passes bill to protect gays from hate crimes. Guess who wants to veto it?

Three out of ten Republican candidates for president DO NOT believe in evolution. Here are the three.

On yesterday’s Blogtown, a poster named “Tim Well” accused the Mercury of being a “liberal tampon wrapper” for writing a story on downtown’s private security guards:

Diplomatic security guards downtown? WTF!? I live downtown. Why do you want to coddle the felons and scum that created a need for extra patrols in the first place? Some people, like dealers at the Chinatown Gate, ought to be dealt with using an iron fist.

Sometimes, diplomacy is for chumps and liberal ya-yas.

How would you like it if your reputation was damaged by a highly zealous, smarmy, and ironically, widely-read, tampon wrapper?

I’d say you ought to stop lurching towards anything controversial and taking the child’s side. Maybe if you would man-up, meet that fake cop in a bar, you’d get better brainwave reception. But your for sure too much of a pussy for that, so keep punching with your pens.

I want to meet Tim in a bar because I want to “man up,” and also, I’d like to meet former PPI officer Kevin Chard, too—the former PPI officer with a disqualifying criminal history who turned me down on the phone yesterday. Guys, the offer’s open! Although while you’re drinking beer, I may opt for Campari in a sippy cup—it’s more “on the child’s side.” Let’s talk downtown security! 503 294 0840. Or you can email: mdavis@portlandmercury.com

Some of you may recall Safe Sax from the Mercury fashion show and issue. They make totes and cometic bags with condoms embedded in the transparent plastic material. And while I routinely use my Safe Sax condom tote bag to carry my laptop (it’s the perfect size, plus it makes me think of Left Eye Lopez), I got to admit that these condom designs kind of blow them out of the water:

Oh dear. Gross.

A couple more after the break, but you can see them all here.

Are you ecstatic about the recent gay rights victories in the state legislature? Bummed that you missed the cake and cider on Wednesday, after the senate passed the domestic partnership bill?

Don’t fret. Basic Rights Oregon’s throwing a party next Thursday!

Portland Metro Victory Party: Next Thursday! Thursday, May 10th Q Center (69 SE Taylor in Portland) 5:30pm to 7:30pm For details or to RSVP, email Aubrey@basicrights.org

Not since I was six years old, standing in line for the first screening of Return of the Jedi, have I been as crippled by anticipation as I’ve been since a friend passed along the following news. The Oregon Family Council, it seems, is embarking on a new venture.

Hell, I’ll just let their own website explain it for me:

Click for a larger version

I cannot wait for OFC porn. If you need a sneak peak at what it might look like, pay a little visit to SexInChrist.com, where you can read about “A Proposal For Christian Porn,” and learn more about topics like “Threesomes in a Christian Marriage” and “Fisting And God’s Will.”

Portland’s “bad apple” rent-a-cop, Kevin Chard, called up this morning to have a go at the Mercury. To catch you up, the Portland rent-a-cops patrolling downtown look like real cops, have similar uniforms, and many carry real guns. They share some of the same duties, in fact, they could easily be—and often are—mistaken for police officers by the average person on the street. But unlike real cops, they have no oversight. And their background checks are a little looser.

If you’ve read this week’s feature, you’ll know that Chard was hired and worked for Portland Patrol Inc, the downtown private security company paid for by the Portland Business Alliance to do “order maintenance” in the downtown core, between October 2006 and February 2007—until his background check was returned saying he had a “disqualifying criminal history.”

“He had a criminal conviction in California, which he wrongly believed had been expunged from his record,” says PPI boss John Hren, in his only public comment to the Mercury. “When we found out it had not been, we terminated his employment immediately, and he went back to California.”

Chard, who says he is in fact now living in Portland, was not happy to see his name in print.

“I’m a little embarrassed,” he says. “I made a mistake 15 years ago, it embarrasses the hell out of me to see it in print. I made a mistake in life, and you guys have no business digging up records on me. I thought it was expunged from my record.”

Chard adds that PPI is a firm of security guards. “Our job is to observe and report. We’re not pretending to be cops or anything like that.”

When I asked how he’d found out that his name was in the paper, Chard said he was not going to tell us. When I asked about his prior conviction, he refused to talk about it. I told him I would love to hear more about his time working for the firm, but he said he had to go. From his tone on the phone, I can’t imagine he’d make the most diplomatic downtown security guard—in fact, he was rather aggressive.

When I skimmed the press release and glances at the attached jpegs for this month’s show at Valentine’s (232 SW Ankeny), it looked like just another decent show for a Portland art gallery.

“In Rose Gibian’s work, she presents an elaborate, whimsical universe of her own invention. Populated with flying cats, costumed animals, and so-called “mixed-up creatures”, this world is host to a range of unlikely scenarios: Delirious hippos gorge themselves on landscapes of junk food. Kitty scientists perform experiments in laboratories of gurgling test tubes. Birthday parties are plagued by Raccoon bandits.”

“Oskar Radon-Kimball is a multimedia artist and writer who has been working in various media for the past 13 years. He has studied filmmaking at the Northwest Film Center and… in 2005, Oskar sold out of many of his comics at the Stumptown Comic Fest. He enjoys reading, writing, myspace, and awesome.”

So far, so good, right? Well, a closer read reveals that Gibian is 8 years old, and Radon-Kimball is only 13. Here’s their art, which definitely holds up in a Pepsi challenge against a lot of what you’ll be seeing at First Thursday tonight.

Rose and Oskar’s show opens tonight with a reception from 6-9 pm, and continues through May.

I just had lunch at Biwa, Gabe Rosen’s newish Japanese restaurant.

Until going there today, I’d forgotten that Biwa serves lunch. And apparently so has the rest of the East side, because the place was dead today. So consider this your reminder: Biwa, 214 SE 9th, lunch daily 11:30-2:30 pm .

The lunch menu is a pared-down version of what’s available at dinner, offering ramen, udon, curry rice, and a few meat options, plus sides and salads. With difficulty I refrained from ordering the ramen (onion heavy, a little greasy, house-made noodles and a big old slice of pork… it’ll fix what ails ya); instead went with the lunch special, a tofu kimchi hot pot-featuring Biwa’s awesome spicy kimchi- plus a vegetable salad (cucumbers, asparagus tips, sesame dressing, $5) and the kushiyaki (skewers of grilled beef, chicken, pork belly, and mushroom, $9). Good stuff, with prices in the $6-12 range (a little spendy for lunch, maybe, but a lot of the items are very shareable).

I’ll have a full review in next week’s paper, but I highly recommend checking it out.

After the long winter, fashion in Portland is all geared up for Spring. Proving we are in the full swing of things, I just realized that there are three fashion shows next weekend, making me one very exhausted local fashion observer:

FRIDAY, May 11th: Strut is going down at the Wonder Ballroom, featuring local apparel by Makool, Merc fashion show hit Leanimal, WeMa, Rachel Mara, Jonny Shultz, Magalí Corzo, and Sameunderneath.

SATURDAY, May 12th: First, there is the first ever Junk in the Trunk Show featuring local plus-sized designs from Curvy Girl Clothing—this event will be the first time the line is available to the public in a “retail environment.” (Dirty Little Secret Salon, 1909 NE MLK, 6-9 pm, show at 7:30, free—the salon/spa will also be offering some of its services at less than $20!)

ALSO SATURDAY, May 12th: A fashion show and party entitled “Sluts + Squares by Beauty Mark Designs, featuring DJs Boy, Marko, and Corban. (Acme, SE 8th & Main, 9 pm, $3)

A little Beauty Mark:

That said, I can’t be too upset about anything that manages to fit about 80 “French people suck” jokes into a mere two minutes and 15 seconds.

I know watching Entertainment Tonight gives you a raging headache—however, if you can’t watch tonight’s episode which features video of a completely shit-faced drunk David Hasselhoff eating a hamburger (as videotaped by his 16-year-old daughter), then jump to their website and watch it HERE.
(On the right hand side, click “David Hasselhoff Exclusive.”)
Apparently, this happened three months ago when Boozy McHasselhoff fell off the wagon, and he had implored his children to videotape himself in this condition so he could witness the devastation for himself.
BE CAREFUL OF WHAT YOU WISH FOR. (Especially when there’s a handy internet lying around!)

UPDATE! Here’s the video. Thank you, YouTube!

Others have already written at length about Sen. John Edwards’ campaign stop(s) in Portland yesterday, so I won’t go over all the details. But here are the highlights:

*He pledges to close the Guantanamo detention center on his first day in office if elected, and then give the prisoners there a fair trial.
* “The most powerful tool for ending poverty…and strengthening the middle class is the organized labor movement.”
* “We need a national predatory lending law…There are more payday loan shops in Oregon than Starbucks and 7-11s combined.”
* Universal health care.
* Reducing 80 percent of the U.S.’s greenhouse gasses by 2050.
* The phrase “global war on terror” is “a political frame, political rhetoric that [the Bush Administration] has used to justify everything they’ve done.”

Photo courtesy of the talented and generous Josh Townsley.

The lowlight:

Edwards continues to waffle on same-sex marriage, saying repeatedly that he has a “great internal conflict” about it. “I’m for treating gay couples with respect, and I’m for civil unions and all the substantive rights, by my conflict is on the word ‘marriage,’” he said. “At this moment, today, I don’t support gay marriage,” but said he continues to “struggle” with it. He did add, though, that his daughter thinks his “conflict” is nuts, and that in another generation there won’t even be a debate.

Afterwards, I chatted with someone who said, “He probably needs to just be honest and say, ‘I haven’t made up my mind, and I’m not going to before the election.’”

Addendum: Worth saying—Edwards’ appearances are the first by any ‘08 candidate, and considering that Oregon won’t make a primary vote until May ‘08, after most of the important primaries are done, it’s questionable how much time any of the candidates will spend here. The fact that Edwards kicked off his Oregon campaign with a free, completely open-to-the-public event (albeit one followed by a $1,000- and $2,000-ticket fundraiser), should win him some populist points.

I just caught up with Bike Gallery owner Jay Graves to get his take Mayor Potter’s decision to defund the Bike Master Plan, and how it might affect the business of bicycling. Cyclists and activists have been railing against the proposed budget, but I’d yet to hear from people whose livelihood depends on Portland’s status as a bike-friendly city.

Graves, though, sees it as a larger matter than just bike-related economic development.

“Yes, there’s a business component to this, but it’s a much bigger issue,” Graves said.

“I think [Potter’s decision] is really shortsighted,” he added. “I don’t think he understands the good that bicycling does—6,000 people riding their bikes into downtown has got to have an impact on things like air quality, traffic congestion, there’s the whole dependence on foreign oil, the health of the community. If we’re really a sustainable city, why aren’t we doing more to promote bicycling?”

Those fine, number-crunching folks over at Oregon Follow The Money have been analyzing the patterns of contributions to the charter reform campaigns (for and against), and have found something highly interesting—some of the biggest donors are technically giving to both sides.

Citizens to Reform City Hall is the primary campaign supporting all four of the ballot measures—26-89, 26-90, 26-91, and 26-92. Most of their contributions have come from big business donors, many of whom are associated with the Portland Business Alliance.

Curiously, though, four of them have also given money to a new campaign that has formed, No On 26-92, meaning they’re giving thousands of dollars to both support and defeat the measure, which would give city council budget authority over the Portland Development Commission.

Mark Edlen, of Gerding-Edlen, gave $10,000 to Reform City Hall, and $1,000 to No On 26-92, US Bank gave $5,000 and $1,000, Norris Beggs and Simpson gave $1,000 to each, and principles of the Melvin Mark Company gave $10,000 and $2,000, respectively.

Added up, about one in ever four dollars of both campaigns are “conflicted”—given by donors who are supporting both sides.

Speaking of the election! Ballots have been out since last weekend, and so far, turn out is a paltry 4 percent, with 16,900 ballots in. I know—you’re just waiting to throw a huge voting party this weekend, so you and all your friends can sit around and discuss Portland’s form of government and civil service policies but, seriously, look at these numbers:

Four days into the May 2006 election, there were 23,976 ballots cast, totaling 6 percent. Four days into the May 2004 election, there were 31,167 ballots cast, for 9 percent of the voting population. And in May 2002, there were 19,857, for 5 percent.

If you need help making up your mind on how to vote, here are our endorsements. Or, if you think we’re full of shit, here’s Amanda Fritz’s post explaining why we’re (almost) completely wrong.

Portland’s own Adidas is suing the Kmart corporation for alleged counterfeiting, trademark infringement, unfair competition, trademark dilution and deceptive trade practices, alleging K-mart violated its “three stripes” trademark by making and selling outfits like these (apologies for the low quality—they are scanned from a copy of the federal suit):THREE STRIPES?

The suit, filed last week, calls for unspecified punitive damages against Kmart and a share of its profits from selling the so-called “imitation” clothes, as well as an injunction against Kmart to prohibit it from using the three stripes again in future.

Adidas owns a federal trademark on the three stripe mark covering athletic training suits, sports and leisure wear, clothing and headgear. It alleges that Kmart is in violation of that trademark and that Kmart’s clothes might confuse potential buyers into thinking they are made by or associated with Adidas, “which they are not.”

This is not the first time Adidas has sued over its stripes—other lawsuits have been filed against Abercrombie & Fitch, Ralph Lauren, Walmart and even the Wimbeldon Tennis Championships in the past. Emailed requests for comment on the suit from Adidas and Kmart have gone unreturned.

More importantly, when is Adidas going to sue America for mispronouncing its name? It’s add-eee-dass. Not add-ee-dus.

Since our esteemed film editor Erik Henriksen just got a big ‘ole box of Star Wars stuff (it’s a daily occurrence, he got this shirt yesterday), these songs are in his honor:

No Doubt - The Imperial March (live)
Ash - Cantina Band (Live)

Links courtesy of Fong Songs.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) wants to turn the Schumacher Furs store at 9th and Morrison into its Portland Office, once the Schumachers move out of the space at the end of the month.

PETA plans to place a “large anti-fur display” in the window of the property and run an anti-fur video on a 24-hour loop, and says it has been in conversations with Windermere Realty about renting the space, owned by TMT Development, which is rumored to rent for $12,000 a month.

“We have five full-time staffers in Portland and they are currently all working from home,” says Peta director Michael McGraw. “But since Portland is such a veggie-friendly city and we are recruiting for more staff, we now need an office.”

From PETA:

PETA is hoping to give a street corner in downtown Portland—long associated with animal cruelty and suffering—a new lease on life. When Schumacher Furs closes forever on May 31, its next tenant may be none other than the PETA, whose Portland-based director, Meg Caskey, heads the department that creates the organization’s anti-fur billboards and posters, including the “I’d Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur” series. Caskey has been looking for a downtown location to centralize operations, and believes the Schumacher Furs space just might fit the bill. Given the store’s history, PETA considers it an ideal location to set up a window display showing how, for every fur coat, animals are trapped, drowned or beaten to death in the wild, or gassed, strangled or electrocuted on fur farms. And because pictures are worth thousands of words, PETA would also install a TV screen in the window to show passersby PETA’s fur exposé video narrated by Martha Stewart (herself a former fur wearer) on a continual loop. If plans proceed, inside the office, Portlanders would be able to pick up free copies of the video as well as information on how to give their wardrobes a “green” makeover with cruelty-free fashions made of faux fur, pleather, and other animal-free fabrics.

A few days ago I got sad. I was all like “Man, I guess this whole wave of Chuck Norris nostalgia and ridiculousness is over. Like every fad, its time has come and gone. Everyone’s seen the Chuck Norris facts. Everyone’s caught Top Dog on PDX 49 at like 2 a.m. Everyone laughed at Conan O’ Brien’s Walker: Texas Ranger Lever. Sigh.” But then I saw this—the opening to the real-life cartoon Chuck Norris Karate Commandos, AKA Erik’s Favorite Television Program of All Time Ever—and I realized that the spirit of Chuck Norris will never die. NEVER.

Tonight at Powell’s (1005 W Burnside, 7:30 pm), Steven Hall, the author of Raw Shark Texts, will appear to read from his debut novel. I am racking my brain to think of the last time a debut novel got his much attention (White Teeth ?)—this one definitely ranks high on the list for debuts in recent years. (Alas, I have not yet read the book, so everything I write is heresay.) People have compared the Brit’s book to Haruki Murakami, Paul Auster, Damien Hirst, Lewis Carroll, Moby Dick, the Matrix, Michel Gondry, Jorge Luis Borges, etc. That’s a lot to live up to, but people are saying that Hall pulls it off. The best reviw I’v read so far comes straight from the Powell’s website:

I defy anybody out there to find a more original and audacious debut novel this year. Hall’s prose shifts effortlessly between the despair of his character’s mnemonic void, the menace of the unknown, and the tender recognition of loss, as he skates across various stylistic devices such as mystery and adventure, diary fiction, the epistolary novel. Reading this novel reminded me of the first time I read Ghostwritten by David Mitchell. Hall displays a lot of the same literary ambition, compulsive readability as Mitchell did (and continues to). And, like Ghostwritten, The Raw Shark Texts leaves a trail of ciphers, some of which emerge immediately, some of which stay buried awaiting a re-read. In this regard, The Raw Shark Texts is a logic puzzle of immense proportions.

Some readers may tire easily of the games that Hall plays with typeface, especially the flipbook shark which goes on for about fifty pages. But these tricks serve to remind the reader first and foremost that they are reading a book, turning it into a literal page-turner. Hall isn’t afraid to risk estranging the reader with his typographical smoke and mirrors, and by doing so, brings the adventure novel (to use a very broad term) into the post-modern realm.

It is very rewarding to read a debut novel like The Raw Shark Texts, and the sense that you get of not only better things to come, but the satisfaction of getting in on the ground floor of what is sure to be an amazing literary career. I have the feeling that a few years down the line, Hall will be a Booker shortlisted author, and there will be teams of readers smug with the knowledge of having discovered him the first time out.

*Don’t forget—it’s First Thursday in the Pearl, so you might want to leave your car at home.

I’ve been keeping tabs on the Fashion Week happening in Australia, an up and coming fashion hub that is sporting some celebs (most notably Dita Von Teese) in the front row. Haven’t seen anything that’s blown me away (although I am generally partial to the short skirt/tall shoes thing that is so prevalent there), but today I saw the photos for the Kirrily Johnston line, and it made me really want the sun to come out and stay out. It also made me wish that a store in town would import some of these pieces. In fact, I think I might start posting my retail suggestions here periodically. I’m sure that many of them would be impracticle from a business standpoint, but just consider it my “wish list.” As always, feel free to agree or disagree! See the full line here, but for now here’s one for in and one for out of the water, plus a couple pieces in accessible yellow after the break:

Another week, another paper. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Tim Kasher from Cursive bids adieu to Omaha and heads to Los Angeles. Welcome to the jungle, baby. You’re in the jungle baby. You’re gonna die.
MP3: Cursive - Dorthy at Forty

Explosions in the Sky keep waving that post-punk flag, and scoring Billy Bob Thornton football movies.
MP3: Explosions in the Sky - Birth and Death of the Day

The “new” Elliott Smith record is another sad drunken waltz, but this time, it’s through Portland once again.
MP3: Elliott Smith - High Times

Hot bird on bird action. We compare Andrew Bird with actual birds. Next week, we ask my tabby about Cat Power.
MP3: Andrew Bird - Fiery Crash

This funny bit from the New York Post pretty much sums it up…

KINDERGARTEN kids in ritzy L.A. suburb Calabasas have been coming home to their parents and talking about the “weird man” who keeps coming to their class to sing “scary” songs on his guitar. The “weird” one turns out to be Bob Dylan, whose grandson (Jakob Dylan’s son) attends the school. He’s been singing to the kindergarten class just for fun, but the kiddies have no idea they’re being serenaded by a musical legend - to them, he’s just Weird Guitar Guy.

I’m not even 5-years-old and I completely sympathize.

Had it with people expressing their religious beliefs in your face? Me too. I’m fed up with people like this guy, getting all “religious” on me at the corner of SW Yamhill and 3rd. Fortunately, what he’s doing will soon be ILLEGAL. And downtown shoppers will be free to spend their money at Nordstrom Rack without being bothered by the spontaneous expression of this man’s religious views. Thank the Lord. I mean, thank the, er….PREACHER: STOP OBSTRUCTING MY SIDEWALK!

Commissioner Randy Leonard voted against the sit/lie law yesterday for just this reason—it places restrictions on free speech. Bizarrely, this chap would be free to sit where he is if he were accompanied by two other people, since that qualifies under the ordinance as a free speech assembly.But if you’re a lone preacher, legally, you’re done for, because the city’s law-makers don’t want any lone homeless people saying they have a right to lie in the sidewalk as an “act of free speech.”

Okay, PDX cyclists, what do you think of this: Ken Nelson is the inventor of DryHigh Rain Chaps. Behold:

If these look like just a sturdier version of what some people improvise with plastic bags, that’s exactly what happened: Nelson started to leave for a ride in the rain, realized his thighs were going to get really wet, and tied plastic bags around them. He may think he did, but he didn’t invent that. What he has invented are these rain chaps, which are in stores around town. My question is do you think this is a viable product? Would you buy rain chaps? For $5? I wouldn’t, except maybe because I really do like the packaging a lot:

Looks like candy cigarettes! Far be it from me to, er, rain on any local entrepreneur’s venture. But what about you, the would-be paying public? For more information, I really do encourage you to absolutely check out the website.

Congress fails to override President Bush’s veto of a bill that would’ve brought our troops home. Next time, tell him he’s signing a bill to keep Sanjaya on American Idol.

A report has shown that Fox News douchebag Bill O’Reilly calls a person or group a derogatory name every seven seconds. And ooops! So did I!

Calling oneself “the decider” is so passe… nowadays, President Bush likes to refer to himself as “the commander guy”!

Spider-Man earns $29 million in his first day; meanwhile, I’m lucky to pull in $29,000 a year. I’m not complaining. I love my job.

“This watch costs more than your car.”

Mayor Tom Potter’s controversial sit/lie ordinance passed its first vote this afternoon at City Council, with council’s homeless commissioner Erik Sten saying he now wants to use money from the mayor’s office that comes with the ordinance to push to locate a permanent day access center in downtown Portland, “long before the end of this year.”

Sten voted in favor of the ordinance, but said the SAFE group’s failure to locate temporary day access services for 150 people (it has only managed to secure services for between 35 and 50 people at the Julia West House) means the SAFE oversight group should now dedicate its energy to locating a permanent day access center downtown, using $350,000 from the mayor’s office that comes with the ordinance.

“I would like to remind people that the idea [of a permanent day access center for the homeless] was completely opposed by lots of downtown constituencies not too long ago,” said Sten, praising the SAFE group’s progress in bringing together downtown homeless advocates and the business community, as well as law enforcement.

Blogtown had expected a unanimous vote in favor of the ordinance, but Commissioner Randy Leonard opposed it at the last minute, citing concerns from the ACLU over the ordinance including “stools, chairs or other objects placed on the sidewalk.” Leonard asked council to restrict the ordinance simply to sitting or lying on the sidewalk or on a blanket on the sidewalk, but that did not happen. When Leonard voted “no,” the mayor turned beet red.

More on the Sit/Lie tomorrow.

Hey Scott—Did you hear? You’re being investigated for a state election law violation. At least, according to this piece in the Oregonion.

You’re a Portland voter weighing your May election mail-in ballot choices last week. A tabloid called “The Portland Mercury” dated Apr. 26 advertises itself on the cover: “THE ELECTION ISSUE. Let The Mercury election squad cast your ballot for you!” You’re like, “Dude.”….

According to an anonymous source, a complaint filed with the state Elections Division by a good Samaritan voter was accompanied by a digital video showing Scott Moore, the reporter, paying cash to a voter on a street corner in the Pearl District last weekend.

The video clearly shows Moore observing while the voter darkens the “NO” circles next to each of the four City ballot measures, seals the ballot into the secrecy envelope, then seals and signs the outside envelope. At the end, cash - said to be $20 - plus a $.39 stamp changes hands and Moore pockets the ballot.

If you’ve been following the mayor’s decision to de-fund the Bike Master Plan, you may have heard some whispers that he made those cuts for political reasons, as a way to ding Commissioner Sam Adams.

It’s an interesting theory, but one that doesn’t have much basis in reality—if the mayor wanted to screw Adams, there are plenty of other ways he could have done it, and clipping $100,000 from a plan probably doesn’t top the list. Especially when you consider the backfire.

Potter’s decision and his unwillingness to budge have allowed Adams to swing in as a hero to the bike community—one of the most vocal and important political blocs in the city. At yesterday’s Master Plan Ride, Adams swept down from city hall (being careful not to jay-walk—ha!), and delivered a message to the 100 or so bikers gathered around, encouraging them through a megaphone to contact the other commissioners in the building. (After all, an amendment to the budget only needs three votes, and the likelihood of that is pretty much sealed up.)

I half expected Adams to yell into the megaphone, “I can hear you—but most importantly, the people up in city hall can hear you!” It could have been his Bush-on-the-rubble moment. Alas.

At any rate, Potter’s digging in on the mere $100,000 appears as if it’ll only help Adams, since Adams is going to get his way anyway. Currently, the commissioners staffers and the mayor’s office are trying to work out a compromise, so there’s still a way it could shake out in the nice, Portlandesque way we’ve all come to expect.

Right now, somewhere in Oklahoma City, The Flaming Lips are counting all the money they just made for writing this horrible song on the Spiderman 3 soundtrack.

The Flaming Lips - The Supreme Being Teaches Spider-Man How To Be In Love

The soundtrack also features such credible artists as The Killers, Jet and Snow Patrol.

You know, had the Green Goblin just killed him in the first movie, none of this would have ever happened.

The longshoremen’s hall was packed this afternoon for an appearance by Sen. John Edwards, which I’ll have more on tomorrow.

In the meantime! He’ll be making an appearance and speaking at this evening’s “veto rally” against George Bush’s idiotic vetoing of the Iraq withdrawal timetable.

Here’s the info! Go!

5:15pm
SW 9th and Jefferson, in front of the Portland Art Museum

Let’s see you try that kickflip—WITH NO LEGS!

Conan O’Brien + Star Wars memorabilia + Nerds = Comedy.
(Crap. I forgot to add “C3PO vomiting” into the equation.)

Who doesn’t love movies? And, really, who doesn’t love discussing movies? If you answered, “Only crazies!” to both of those questions, head over to our pod-n-vod page and check out the Mercury’s newest podcast, Talking Pictures—the podcast dedicated to talking about current films. This week, film editor Erik Henriksen and arts editor Chas Bowie talk about Killer of Sheep.

So it pains me to say it, but I didn’t like Spider-Man 3 all that much. (I’m a fairly obsessive Spider-Man fan, and I really wanted to like this one. And while I certainly dug parts of it—especially James Franco as an eeeeevil Harry Osborn and Topher Grace as an eeeeevil Eddie Brock—the whole thing left me feeling pretty disappointed.) Anyway, my review will be up/out tomorrow, and the film is playing at every theater imaginable on every screen imaginable starting Friday, but in the meantime, I recommend reading this—a pretty interesting analysis of the jaw-droppingly massive marketing campaign that Sony launched for the film, saturating the globe with Spidey from New York to China.

The lengths that Sony’s gone to ensure that this film will rake in a shit-ton of money is just mind-boggling, and the reasons that it has to make a lot of money, and fast (including the fact that by some reports its total cost is around $500 MILLION, and that Shrek 3 hits later this month, followed quickly by Pirates 3, meaning Spidey only has a week or two to really cash in) are fascinating. Anyway, well worth checking out, regardless of whether or not you’re interested in Spider-Man 3: Fact is, the muscular power of Hollywood’s marketing depts. is glimpsed in all its terrifying, all-out glory pretty rarely, and this is definitely one of those times, and it’s already affected pretty much everyone on the planet.

Are you ready to get pumped for the Captain Ahab show happening this Friday, May 4th at Holocene? Then head over to our pod-n-vod page, where Captain Ahab has dropped a mind-blowing, ass-shaking, super deluxe set for our very own Mike Williams on today’s episode of So Hot Right Now.

I just stumbled on this great British digital magazine, Style Will Save Us. It is becoming increasingly apparent that, while Portland is a major hub of ethical fashion (BTW, that is the latest buzz term: ethical fashion—a term that envelopes designers who make choices based on what’s environmentally sustainable, anti-sweatshop lines, etc), the UK is also a major hotbed. The London College of Fashion is having an eco-themed week titled “Is Green the New Black?, and London’s last Fashion Week had a special exhibit for designers working in that field (which included Portland emissaries entermodal). SWSU’s current issue features a forum discussion of the recycled fur line Harricana, tips for extending the wearability of your wardrobe before tossing and replacing, and a carbon calculator to track your personal CO2 use (I was doing pretty good until I got to the section on my past year’s worth of air travel. And yet how else am I to get to enlightened Europe or bring aid to the hospitals of Ecuador, dangit?).

(Photo from the feature on Parisian collective Andrea Crews’ “post vintage” line of refashioned used clothing—such old news in PDX.

There are numerous reasons to dislike KIRSTEN DUNST: 1) Her lack of acting ability. 2) Her snaggle tooth. 3) Her numerous and highly unflattering camera angles. And now? HER BLOODY SKANKY FEET. Check out this shot of Kirsten leaving her 25th birthday party and ask yourself, “Did Dick Cheney bring his shotgun?”
EWW!

Tips to Just Jared!

Well done, Brandon Roy!Previous winners of the coveted title include Shaquille O’Neal, Michael Jordan, and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, although the last Blazer to win the prize was Sidney Wicks in 1971. That’s right, the great, world-famous Sidney Wicks…

***11:37am—HB 2007 passes, by a vote of 21-9! Beyer, Ferrioli, G. George, L. George, Kruse, Starr, Whitsett, Winters, Atkinson all voted no.

11:51am—Bill supporters—including senators—are convening in the Senate caucus room for cake and sparkling cider. Senators Kate Brown, Ginny Burdick, Alan Bates and Ben Westlund are getting standing ovations.

Sen. Brown
———

Considering the historic legislation that’s about to come up on the state Senate floor, it’s a remarkably quiet day at the Capitol. Every other visit I’ve paid this session has included costumed mascots, protests on the front steps, crowds of people waiting to testify, children touring the building, or Portland’s own city officials scurrying around (for City Hall day).

Today in the Senate gallery, there are the usual couple dozen Basic Rights Oregon supporters, in their blue t-shirts, and a few reps from the Oregon Family Council. The gallery’s not even full, though. And the Senate floor is quiet, too—usually there’s someone warming up a choir or a guitar, getting ready to kick off the floor session. Not today.

Check after the jump for updates of today’s debate and vote on HB 2007—the bill that would legalize domestic partnerships in Oregon.

11:32am—The Vote!

We're waiting for Sen. Bill Morrisette to return from the bathroom...

Okay, he's back!

HB 2007 passes, by a vote of 21-9. Beyer, Ferrioli, G. George, L. George, Kruse, Starr, Whitsett, Winters, Atkinson all voted no.

11:28am—President Courtney's asking for further discussion, and there isn't any. Sen. Ginny Burdick (D-Portland) is closing.

"We will be extending a hand of friendship and support to gay and lesbian Oregonian's whose only desire is to make a family," she says. "With this legislation we are valuing all families. We are telling same sex couples they don't need to carry a briefcase with them at all times, full of legal documents."

"In short, with HB 2007, same sex couples who make a commitment to a domestic partnerships will no longer be treated as strangers under the law."

"We have the chance to provide the final legislative send off to HB 2007. I will proudly be voting aye on this bill, and invite you to join me," Burdick says. They're locking the doors and calling the roll.

11:25am—Sen. Frank Morse (R-Albany) is up. "Today is another day, and it's an opportunity to do what's right for Oregon," he says, referring to the 2005 debate, which brought "painful criticism from all corners of the state."

He's reading a letter from a constituent who's youngest daughter is gay. "'Our two older children and spouses have all of the rights and responsibilities people should have. Our youngest daughter and her partner do not have these rights,'" Morse says, reading from the letter.

"Our task today is to define how big is Oregon's heart?" Morse says. Loving acceptance is "our task today." Is Oregon's heart big enough? He asks.

11:21am—Sen. Westlund—who sponsored SB 1000—is up. "A part of me wants to jump up and scream, 'now this is what I'm talking about!' This chamber and the chamber to the west finally having the political will and courage to finally confer basic civil rights to all of our citizens," he says. "How profound."

"I am so proud to be standing in this chamber. It is time, colleagues, today, here, now, it is time to provide the simple but profound dignity to human beings who simply ask to be."

"Colleagues, this is a step. This is not the end of the road, but a step."

11:20am—Sen. Alan Bates (D-Ashland) is up, arguing in favor of the bill.

11:15am—Sen. Vicki Walker (D-Eugene) is up. "This is not full equality," she says. "Those who obtain domestic partnership in Oregon will still be denied over 1100 rights," referring to federally conferred rights. "A same sex couple and their family traveling to another state or country will take with them none of the protections and rights. They will be strangers under the law."

She's pointing out other key differences between this bill a