I’ve never been the biggest fan of Roger Ebert (more of an A.O. Scott fan myself—that is, when I’m not busy stoking my uncontrollable megalomania by reading and rereading my own brilliant reviews), but he’s always seemed like a decent guy, and he’s a good writer, and man, the recent pictures of him recovering from surgery make me wish only the best for him. Dude just got a tracheostomy after having to have part of his mandible removed (!) thanks to “cancer of the salivary gland.” (Somehow, I’m pretty sure Vincent Gallo is to blame.) So I hope he gets better. Partially, that’s for my sake; he looks effing deranged here, and it’s creeping me out. (And yes—that is rogerebert.com on Roger Ebert’s computer screen.)

Christ. How many “funny” doctors and nurses, do you think, insisted on giving The Eeb a “thumbs up!” when he was in the hospital? He must hate that gesture so, so much.

(Also, yeah, I just made that up. “The Eeb.” That’s my own affectionate nickname for the man. Me and The Eeb go way back. I hope The Eeb gets better soon. I wish The Eeb would stop giving the thumbs up, especially when he so clearly would rather be giving a big thumbs down. HE’S MISSING PART OF HIS MANDIBLE, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE.)