Another glorious day, another pile of news:

Having trouble finding cocaine? The Coast Guard has it all. “The offload will include approximately 38,000 pounds of cocaine seized in the largest cocaine bust in maritime history.”

Speaking of which: “Lincoln High School is not a drug den where rich kids routinely deal cocaine.”

Russell Simmons wants to nix the offensive words “‘bitch,’ ‘ho’ and ‘nigger’ from the recording industry, considering them ‘extreme curse words.’”

Mexico City may legalize abortions, ending the underground, herbal induced illegal abortions. “‘Of course it works,’ one female vendor said. ‘A lot of girls come here. They take the tea and the holy remedy, and they forget about being pregnant.’”

Pop? Home sales have fallen: “The National Association of Realtors reported that sales of existing homes fell by 8.4 percent in March, compared to February. It was the biggest one-month decline since a 12.6 percent drop in January 1989, another period of recession conditions in housing.”

300 Iranian women arrested for “wearing too tight an overcoat or letting too much hair peek out from under their veil, authorities said Monday.”

College professor in Boston fired “after leading a classroom discussion about the Virginia Tech shootings in which he pointed a marker at some students and said ‘“pow.’”

Mormon kids at Brigham Young University don’t like Vice President Dick Cheney. Okay, maybe it’s because he’s not as virtuous as they’d like—”Several students said, for example, that they were appalled at Mr. Cheney’s use of an expletive on the Senate floor in a June 2004 exchange with Senator Patrick J. Leahy, Democrat of Vermont”—but that’s good enough for me!

And Senator Hillary Clinton’s being forced to campaign in her home state, thanks to Sen. Barack Obama’s strong showing. “‘I would have supported Hillary if it were not for Barack Obama,’ said Assemblyman Adam Clayton Powell IV, a leading figure in Harlem who said he had yet to make an endorsement. ‘He can identify with my African-American community in a way that no other candidate can.’”