• Since this week is “National TV Turn Off Week,” here’s some of the AWESOME stuff you’ll be missing. SUCKAH!

• After a six-week hiatus, HEROES (NBC, 9 pm) returns tonight with a shocking new episode. Too bad you won’t see it. SUCKAH!

• Tonight may be the night that Heather Mills’ leg flies off and hits Florence Henderson in the chops on DANCING WITH THE STARS (ABC, 8 pm). Ohhh… that’s right. You’re not watching TV this week. SUCKHA!

• Today begins “New York Times Week” on JEOPARDY (KATU, 7 pm), when five news sections from the Times will be featured as categories. Undoubtedly you could learn a lot from this show… if your TV wasn’t off. SUCKHA!