As you may know, the Mercury’s newest columnist JESUS CHRIST has his own BLOG. And he’d really like you to read it. This week, JC tackles the controversial subject of illegal downloading of music. And as it turns out? HE’S ALL FOR IT! Here’s an excerpt in which he and his friend Trudy the bankteller visit the mall.

Trudy hates it when I do anything “illegal.” She’s a real square in that way. That’s why she works at the bank. “Its wrong to illegally download music,” she said. But I was all like, “Whatever, Judge Trudy.” (She really hates it when I call her that!) “I’m serious, Jesus,” she said. “Hillary Duff worked really hard to make those songs, and she should be compensated.” “Oh, yeah?” I said. “Well, I had two spikes hammered through my wrists.”

Check out this, and more of Jesus Christ’s blog here! It’s new every day!