You sicko. Yeah, you, sicko. The guy on Broadway with the “nausea vomit diarrhea.” I know where you live…But fear not, Blogtown readers! Now you too can find out who’s sick in Portland, and of course, avoid them by a three-block radius, thanks to this imaginatively-named new website, “Whoissick.org.”

Unfortunately for fear-mongers like myself, you can only register as sick from the same IP address once. Also, the illness options are limited—”runny nose,” “cough,” that kind of thing. So no RABIES or SYPHILIS, and no hoax plague in the Pearl District.

Hang on, is this not therefore a pretty pointless, pointless invention?! Thanks a bunch, Betsy at Metblogs. Thanks for nothing…