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The hipsters are just upset that they can't have children as a result of low sperm counts due to wearing super tight jeans all the time...
That jean theory doesn't work. Ever noticed how many hipsters are pushing SUV strollers around Portland these days?
Oh PAgent, my dear. You may think I'm a hipster, but you could pass me at Beaverton Town Square and not even notice me. I'm about as normal-looking as they get, as are many other childfree folks. We are amongst you.
"We are childfree. We will prevail."
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Careful, you don't want to actually admit to wanting children. You'll be shunned and scorned by the hipsters as just another breeder. And God forbid you actually take them out in public....