Happy 30th, Star Wars. As a present, I give you “Crackerjack Junction”—AKA the only thing in the universe more annoying than ewoks.

You know what I like? I like the cars that go “boom.”

Thanks to Idolator and the girls of L’Trimm.

Portland devotees of eco-fashion will be please to know that Greenloop is moving to Sellwood (8005 SE 13th). They’re celebrating Friday June 1st 6-9 pm! Find sustainable fashion from designers like Anna Cohen (pictured below) and more!

If ever you say the word “mural” to Commissioner Randy Leonard, he’ll most likely respond with “Mirador.”

Back in the summer of 2003, during his first term in office and as the commissioner in charge of the Bureau of Development Services, he heard about the problems the SE “community store” was having with its mural. Because of the city’s strict anti-billboard code, the Mirador was told that its outside mural was against the law. Leonard attempted to keep enforcement off of the store while he negotiated a compromise on the sign law that would allow for murals like Mirador’s.

But that attempt ran counter to then-Mayor Vera Katz’s hard-line opposition to billboards—she despised them so much that she was willing to sacrifice the city’s murals in order to ban them. A 1999 court ruling held that it was unconstitutional for the city to differentiate between murals and commercial billboards, so the city was forced to regulate murals through the commercial sign code.

For the Mirador and other similar buildings, that meant they had to cover their mural with plywood in order to stay within the law. For muralists, it meant they had few legal canvasses.

The late ’90s challenge was largely the doing of media giant Clear Channel, which owns most of the billboard spaces around town, who sued because they felt muralists were being illegally “preferred” over billboards. After the 1999 ruling, the city still limited billboards, but allowed some murals through a public arts project. Clear Channel sued again in 2004.

On May 8, Multnomah Circuit Court Judge Michael Marcus ruled that Clear Channel wasn’t entitled to any compensation, and at the urging of city attorneys, he clarified that Portland could, in fact, differentiate between murals and billboards, as long as it wasn’t based on the content of the signs.

“[N]othing that I am aware of prevents the City from ‘preferring’ art over commercial speech,” Marcus wrote, “any more than it may choose to prefer other forms of commerce to ‘adult’ book stores, quiet forms of recreation to automobile races, backpacking to ATVs, public transportation to individual automobiles, [or] vibrant commercial occupancies to abandoned buildings.”

In other words, IN YOUR FACE, CLEAR CHANNEL!

Download Marcus’ complete ruling here, if you dare. (pdf)

Still, though, the language is somewhat vague—because he’s a judge, and not a city attorney, Marcus couldn’t explicitly say what steps the city should take in order to draft a constitutionally sound code that treats billboards and murals differently. So officials in city hall are working with mural advocates to write a new policy. They’ve met once, and there could be a draft policy produced within months.

“I’ll support whatever we can do to remove the plywood from the mural at Mirador,” Leonard says.

Where will guests of the Jupiter Hotel buy their umbrellas now? (Ahem, they should try the soon-to-be-open Stand Up Comedy across the street at 811 E Burnside, Ste 119).

Ivy Studio, the former quasi gift shop of the hipster hotel, featuring some delectable reading materials from photo books to Italian Vogue has changed both location and direction. Its new home is 3059 NE Glisan, and its new focus is on kids’ stuff (although they carry up to teen sizes), especially books. They’re celebrating with a grand re-opening on Saturday June 2, from noon-4 pm with a book signing with Seattle ABC book author Matthew Porter and free gelato from Stacatto Gelato.

There’s yet another new store set to open June 7th: Tender Loving Empire (1720 NW Lovejoy #109). Promising a mix of art, comics, music, books, clothing, and accessories, the store will feature independent artists from here and elsewhere, as well as house a screenprinting facility and gallery. Grand opening is from 6-10 pm. Check it out!

Here are some earrings from Modica Designs, one of the lines the store is set to feature:

It’s sunny in Portland today. So sunny, Matt felt he needed to don sunglasses—at his desk.

(Note the glare in one lens.)

“Matt, your future’s bright—but not that bright,” Scott told him. He removed the glasses.

Reason # 74,291 that Portland is the best city in the world: The IPRC is currently enrolling students for Zine Camp 2007, a “four week camp that meets two days a week at the IPRC. Campers will participate in readings, take workshops in zine construction and design, go on field trips, and participate in the Sixth Annual Portland Zine Symposium, where they will trade their very own personal magazines with self publishers from around the globe!”

For more info, hit up the IPRC website. The camp is held Tuesdays and Fridays from noon-4 pm, starting July 10, and admissions to new students are only open through June 1. It’s $125, with scholarships available, and open to zinesters age 8-18.

Downtown’s rent-a-cops are contracted to “wake up the homeless sleeping on the sidewalk,” and “stop offensive conduct wherever possible,” according to their contract with the Portland Business Alliance, it has emerged today.CONTRACT EXCERPTS: Laid bare..

Carla over at local political blog, Loaded Orygun, has managed to get hold of the contract between the Portland Business Alliance (PBA) and Portland Portland Patrol, Inc, (PPI) by contacting Commissioner Randy Leonard and asking him to get a copy through the City Attorney’s office. [A clause in the city’s contract with the PBA to supply security specifies that the PBA’s contract with PPI must also be made public, but the PBA has refused to disclose the contract either to the Mercury or to activist newspaper Street Roots, over the past several weeks. ]

The 140-page contract also reveals that PPI is in fact being paid far more than was thought to fulfil its duties. Street Roots found out last week that the firm’s compensation package is $449,824—but that is just to patrol the city’s parks. Compensation for PPI is in fact shown as $935,256.00 for the 06/07 fiscal year. [In sharing the contract with the City Attorney, the PBA asked for this information to be redacted, but it appears to have snuck its way through. That’s the full-time cost of around 10 real cops.]

“The part about waking up the homeless raises huge concerns, especially in the context of not having any oversight in how PPI officers are trained and directed in dealing with people experiencing homelessness,” says Street Roots director Israel Bayer. “We will be asking our attorneys to see whether or not this is even legal.”

The PBA’s vice president of central city/downtown services, Mike Kuykendall, and PPI chief executive John Hren are yet to return a call for comment on the contract.

UPDATE: “The Alliance has a contract with PPI to service multiple accounts besides the Portland Parks Bureau contract, which is the one referred to by Street Roots recently,” says Mike Kuykendall, via email, clarifying to show that the PBA wasn’t massaging any numbers when it told Street Roots about the lower figure for just the parks contract.

We’re awaiting a counter-response from Bayer. Catch up with the Mercury’s ongoing coverage of the rent-a-cops issue here. And thanks again, Carla, for getting hold of that contract.

Yay, Memorial Three-Day Weekend, yay! Dunno what you’re gonna do, but I’ll do a wee bit of shopping. Add to that list Local.35 (3556 SE Hawthorne), which is having 35% off previously unmarked items and 70% off what’s already marked down. Look for: spring jackets, sweaters, hoodies, jeans, pants, bags, and tees from lines like Modern Amusement, Anzevino and Florence, Surface to Air, WESC, Cheap Monday, and Jfold to name a few. Through Sunday!

More here.

From reader Michael Weinberg (who, BTW, is having a bitchin’ rad b-day party in Laurelhurst Park tomorrow afternoon) comes the following tip about the Clackamas County Jail:

“My friend Wil was looking up info on the shooting range, and I found the inmate lookup, and then he found this, which I thought you’d find interesting.”

Apparently, the Clackamas County Sheriff’s Office is beginning to ditch the names of inmates, and is instead referring them as if they were extras on a Hollywood set.

Inmate Information for ENGINE, ROOM GUY
Inmate Information for BIG, EARS

Big, Ears is in for unlawful possession of a firearm (ahem), but Engine, Room Guy is in for “unlawfully requiring repair for certification of compliance with pollution control requirements,” negotiating a bad check, and violating parole.

If you’d like to inquire about posting bail for either Big, Ears or Engine, Room Guy, the jail’s phone number is 503-655-8331. Tell them Slightly, Hungover told you to call.

I went to go see Patrick Wolf play his first-ever gig in Portland last night, promoting his latest, The Magic Position. The crowd size was just this side of respectable, but very devoted. Lots of “we love you!“s and all that. Wolf himself was a lot more charming and amiable than I expected based on footage I’ve seen of his other shows, during which he seemed far less sober than he was last night, firing his drummer onstage, etc. (As of last night, the drummer was still missing.) His music I don’t think is very groundbreaking, but I like it, and the live version held up to the recordings. His best moments are when he gets disco (the quiter songs are nice but I’d rather hear them through headphones, or at least sitting down). During my favorite, “Accident and Emergency,” (the video for which I posted below) he ripped off his shirt (aw, he has a unicorn tattoo on his chest) and brandished a toy rifle. When someone in the audience suggested he take off his pants (thanks to his sexual ambiguity, I think all the boys and all the girls were in love with him), he exclaimed in mock horror, “I’m from England!” Just one of many cute moments.

Still lamenting the demise of Arrested Development? Well, lament no more! Or at least lament a little less, because the new online series developed by Michael “George Michael” Cera has debuted, and it’s pretty freaking hilarious. (Especially if you like your comedy dry as a bone.) Entitled CLARK AND MICHAEL, this faux-documentary series depicts Michael and his roomie Clark and their unsuccessful attempts to sell a script to Hollywood. Check out episode number one here! And if you want to give it a taste test, check out the following trailer. Trust me, it tastes DELICIOUS.

Aceyalone returns to the PDX tonight, as he’ll be hitting the stage at Roseland along with Cleveland Steamers, Sandpeople and My-G. To get you prepared, here is a video for “Highlights,” which was “filmed in Amsterdam.”

The Amsterdam influence is very subtle, see if you can spot it.

Thursday’s soup of the day at the Goodfoot Lounge…
Crouching Potato, Hidden Ham

That has to be the most enticing soup name I’ve ever heard.
Check out this version with a carrot and celery stalk.

Muqtada al-Sadr, the radical Shiite cleric who’s been in hiding for four months, called for the withdrawal of U.S. troops from Iraq.

Too bad al-Sadr doesn’t have a vote in Congress! Our reps passed a bill last night to continue funding the war, without setting a withdrawal timetable.

MySpace rats out Oregon sex offenders using the site.

Portland cops arrest three in connection with SE Portland car fires.

Record gas prices? What record gas prices? “AAA estimates 32.1 million people will travel by cars and trucks for the Memorial Day weekend, up 1.8 percent from last year.”

Enjoy the long weekend!

New book Voices From the Street pulls no punches when it comes to experiencing homelessness in downtown Portland.
DISARMINGLY CHI-CHI, GIVEN THE SUBJECT OF THE BOOK:Armory patron reads Sisters’ book as Randy Leonard gives a speech…

“Listening, for many people, many of whom are my friends, is simply not speaking. But listening is actually an active, very physically draining process,” said City Commissioner Randy Leonard, introducing the book tonight at the Armory in the Pearl. “This book should help us all to listen.”

Listening to, or rather, reading the book, is indeed a challenge. Chapter four, on interactions between homeless people and law enforcement, contains one or two pretty disturbing accounts. A homeless woman called Rita says:

And he said, ‘Get out o the car,’ so I got out of the car and he said, ‘Get over to the curb,’ and I tried to walk past and I said, ‘Why are you being so rude?’ and he said, ‘Get over to the curb.’ So I walked past him and he grabbed my shoulder, really rough and this was a big man. He stood at least nine inches taller than me and probably one hundred pounds heavier and he grabbed my shoulder and I flinched, it was just kind of automatic, so he took me, he grabbed both my arms and twisted them behind my back and broke them both.

They said, ‘You can go to prison or you can get out of downtown for good.’ I said, ‘You guys can’t do this to me.’ They twisted my arms until I agreed in pain to leave downtown for good, and then took me off to detox. When I was released in the morning not knowing how to survive anywhere but downtown having been homeless nowhere else but downtown, I returned and kind of laid low for a while but anger built up inside of me because of that threat. I did not deserve it. I had been here almost a year and had never caused any problems for the police, so I could not understand the reason for that kind of threat, threatening me with prison, and it really angered me. That is really when I lost my respect for the police.

One of my first memories of the Portland art world was stumbling across Eva Lake’s Art Star Radio on KPSU and hearing a lively conversation about local artists whose work I didn’t yet know. I later learned that Eva Lake was a painter and gallerist—at Lovelake Gallery, and then as gallery manager at Chambers (where she later showed my work)—as well as someone who really loved to talk about art.

Lake has just announced that next Wednesday, she’ll be launching The Art World, a new podcast with an impressive lineup of national guests.

“I will interview people like I always did,” says Lake. “But this time it will be art world people from all over the country,” adding that listeners can still call in, and that the shows will be archived on the web.

Her guests include controversial art critic Charlie Finch (June 6), New York gallerist Jen Bekman (June 27), author Andrei Codrescu (July 11), art dealer Richard Polsky (July 18), and Seattle Art Museum Contemporary & Modern curator Michael Darling (Aug 8). Check the website for the full lineup, or tune in at 3 pm next Wednesday for the debut show, with Brooklyn artist Andrea Arroyo.

More emo hysteria!!! This time from the batshit crazy state of Utah. Look out for Mercury contributor Trevor Kelley’s book, which helps the kid-killing monster of emo snuff out a few more teens.

“Try not to react with fear.” Um, lady, they are emo kids, not bears.

Sisters of the road co-founder Genny Nelson will be launching the homeless charity’s new book, Voices From The Street—Truths About Homelessness From Sisters Of The Road, tonight at Powell’s on Burnside.
The book, based on 515 2-hour interviews with Portland’s homeless, seeks to challenge some of the myths about why people end up on the streets. For example, of 503 people that responded to a question about their income, only 9% said they received any income from panhandling.

Read more about the book here, or just show up at Powell’s on Burnside, 7.30pm.

While that title would make a fantastic name for a band, it’s an actual quote from National Action Against Obesity’s MeMe Roth (appropriate name) who went on Fox News’ Neil Cavuto to make the case that American Idol winner Jordin Sparks shouldn’t have won the competition, because she is obese (which she clearly isn’t) and sets a bad example for children (which she clearly doesn’t—unless you count that she cries at the end of her songs, which is really annoying).
When it comes to despicable pundits, she’s no Ann Coulter, but maybe MeMe can fill in when she’s on vacation?

We don’t usually recommend stories in our competitor’s paper, but this week the Willamette Week is running an absolutely shocking exposé on cocaine use in Portland. It’s a must-read, and one that will totally change how you think about Portland. Entitled “Blow Back,” the piece’s stunning thesis? People in Portland use cocaine. You can even buy cocaine right here in Portland. At bars, even!

Conversations and interviews with more than a dozen bartenders, restaurant owners, cops and users for this story reveal that powder cocaine remains a strong player in Portland’s drug firmament—socially acceptable and readily available.

I know. I know. I HAD NO IDEA. Cocaine? People use it? And buy it? And it’s even “socially acceptable”? WHAT?! In an effort to get with this new form of investigative journalism that blows the lid off of such outrageous, unexpected, and breaking news stories, I’ve prepped a few pitches for future stories for the Willamette Week. I believe the Willamette Week’s readers will be just as stunned by these stories as they are by the cocaine story.

• Rock and Roll. Okay, okay. I know this sounds crazy, but trust me on this one: My “sources” on the “street” tell me that “kids” these days are into a new form of music that Mr. Lawrence Welk would most certainly not approve of! What is this new music, if it can even be called that? What are these “electrical guitars” that are involved? Who is this “Elvis Presley,” and why won’t he stop gyrating his pelvic regions in such a suggestive and inappropriate manner? And where and how is this “music” being played in Portland, of all places?!

• “Adult” Beverages. So this is breaking—like, seriously BREAKING—news. Red hot! Nobody else knows, so keep it on the DL, WW. But what I’m hearing is that some people like to drink beverages with “alcohols” in them. These beverages aren’t your usual sasparillas and sodey pops, however! I can’t give too much away, but trust me that this story is HOT. (Don’t even get me started on these “tobacco cigar-ettes” that are supposedly being “smoked”! In bars, even!)

• Prostitution. I’m gonna need a pretty sizable expense account for this one, guys, but believe you me—the cover story I’m gonna write is going to be totally worth it, and it’s going to SHOCK THE HELL out of middle-aged housewives in Beaverton. (Which, if I’m not mistaken, make up the majority of your readers.) From what I can suss out, some people—usually women—have sex with people. I know, I know, that’s shocking enough, right? But wait—there’s more! Apparently, they have sex with people… for money.

Willamette Week, you know how to reach me. Together, I’m confident we can put out some feature stories that will be just as groundbreaking, informative, and surprising as your current cover story. Here’s to us!

Golly, let us take a peak at this week’s Mercury Music section.

We can’t stop saying enough great things about new Electrelane album. For reals, it’s amazing.
MP3: Electrelane - To The East

Bad Brains in back. Don’t look for HR to do a backflip, unless he has a trampoline on the stage with him.
MP3: Bad Brains - Pay To Cum

My favorite Brother Ali lyrics? That’s easy. “Ali’s a big teddybear/Till they scream, ‘Stop slammin the car door, that’s my fuckin head in there!’/Your teeth are everywhere, I serve your family/And write about it in my journal like I’m Mister Belvedere”
MP3: Brother Ali - Truth Is

No Mike Love here. Beach House have nothing to do with The Beach Boys.
MP3: Beach House - Master Of None

I still think Plants should have titled their new album, Plants Off, Dance Off!.
MP3: Plants - Seedling

Such a busy busy busy week. Don’t miss Patrick Wolf tonight, as word on the street is that he might be hanging it up for good come November.
MP3: Patrick Wolf - The Magic Position

Fans of the bamboo-fibered Sameunderneath line, take heed: Thursday the 31st, at Taow Productions (1801 NW Upshire, Ste 660), there will be “unbelievable” deals on end-of-season pieces and samples. Plus, refreshments, music, and accessory deals from San Damian.

Mmm, orange polo shirts. Currently on an unexpected orange kick. Thinking of getting my toes done in a pseudo version of it:

And while we’re on the topic, I say more polo shirts, and less tees,, dudes.

A former meter reader with Portland General Electric (PGE) is suing the firm for $1.75 million alleging he was fired after complaining about racially and sexually inappropriate comments directed at him and others, by his co-workers.

PGE: Alleged Anti-Semitism…

Samuel Sachs, who was employed by PGE as a meter reader for four months between April and July of 2006, alleges that prior to his termination “he reported and/or complained about derogatory and/or discriminatory comments in the workplace about women, Chinese, and/or Jews directed to himself and other employees.”

Sachs alleges he was subjected to a hostile work environment in retaliation for complaining about the comments, and ultimately, that he was fired for doing so. He is suing for $750,000 in economic loss and emotional distress.

Sachs, who is Jewish, alleges PGE subjected him to unwelcome derogatory comments of a sexist, racial and/or anti-Semitic nature, that it condoned the comments made by non-management employees, that it refused to allow Sachs to change locations so as to avoid the ongoing hostile work environment after he complained about it, that it encouraged him to quit, that it threatened his employment, that it subjected him to an ongoing retaliatory hostile work environment, and ultimately, fired him. For this, he is seeking a further $1 million in punitive damages, in addition to all costs associated with the case.

Attorneys for Sachs and PGE did not return calls for comment.

Oh, damn, what’s that? One of the 40,000 Silver Surfer quarters? And I have it? I just found it in my wallet this a.m., apparently having received it as change at some point yesterday, totally unbeknownst to me at the time? And now I’m debating about whether to eBay it for some cash or to hold on to it to show off to everybody, lording it over fellow comic book readers to show my superiority? Shit yeah, fool! That’s EXACTLY what it is!

This week on So Hot Right Now, Mike Williams plays an exclusive, bumpin’, dubsteppin’ set from Selector Dub-U. Check it out right here, along with the Selector Dub-U interview.

Jordin won American Idol—kersnooze! Kersnooze! Kersnooze!
The real action of the evening was the two-hour slam bang season finale of LOST, and yes… SPOILERS AHEAD!
I’ll admit it, Lost is now officially off my shit list. I was getting so tired of the endless circular questions, but the latter half of the season has been super fun and action packed. My fave parts of last night’s episode?
• The mind-bending surprise ending depicting Oxycontin freak Jack meeting Kate in the future and not commenting on how much makeup she was wearing. (Who do you think the obit in the paper was about?)
• The two hot chicks beating the crap out of Charlie (what a way to go, huh?).
• Walt has pubes.
• Do you want to smack the smirk off of Juliette’s face, or what?
• And this following scene, in which Hurley causes the most awesome hippie-induced death I’ve ever witnessed, immediately followed by Sayid snapping a guy’s neck with his FEET. And I know he was a dick and all… but… POOR TOM.

The city has released its request for proposals (RFP) to provide homeless day access services, lockers, and showers downtown, as part of the work of the mayor’s Street Access For Everyone (SAFE) group.

The deadline for submissions is June 18, and the city hopes to get the services rolling by July 1. It’s an ambitious time-line, but will need to be stuck to as Portland’s new sit/lie ordinance comes into effect at the end of June.

In case you happen to be in possession of a spare day access center for about 50 people, either downtown or in the Lloyd District, that the SAFE Oversight group happens to have overlooked [hey, you never know!] I’ve attached the RFP as a word document for you to download and apply right here.

This just in from a Benson “whistleblower,” who says a senior prank led to a lockdown, but then administrators “went too far.” (It says there was a lockdown today, but it also says May 24, so it’s unclear which day this happened…)

To Whom it may Concern:

Today, May 22, Benson Polytechnic High School was locked down due to a bomb threat in a wing of the building. This was later found to be a senior prank that was not intended to be a serious disturbance. The four suspected students involved constructed a noise-making, electronic device from a buzzer and a car battery in which emitted a noise meant to annoy other students and faculty. The device was placed inside a locker, and the locker was then sealed with a pad-lock, making it slightly more difficult to get to and disable.

When the noise was first discovered, the school immediately went into lock-down, and students and teachers in the immediate area were evacuated. The identity of the student whose locker that held the electronic buzzer was found, and he and a few of his friends were soon detained.

All this is expected, and hoped for by parents to ensure their students’ safety. However, the school’s administration and police went too far.

It was quickly determined through interrogation of the suspected students involved, and from the opening of the locker, that this was not intended as a threat, or to be even taken as a threat, but simply as a mild annoyance intended for students and faculty members of the school. It is expected that the students involved should pay any fees warranted by an electronic device, and the arrival of emergency services created from the disturbance.

That is is not what is happening, however. The students involved must face a court date, and are looking at a prospective year in jail for their harmless, albeit stupid actions. On top of this, the penalty of not being able to walk at graduation is being waved in front of their faces. This is a gross interpretation of what justice should be. It is an every-day occurrence that students have contact at school with violence, various forms of harassment, and narcotics, yet some students get multiple chances, with the all-too-commonly used phrase, a slap on the wrist. These students intend their actions, and are well aware of the consequences, even when the third strike of the ‘three-strikes’ rule is met, and even when the ‘60-day rule’ is in action (if a student commits an offense within 60 days of graduation bad enough for suspension, he or she is not allowed to walk in the Graduation ceremonies). These students still roam the halls and intend to walk at the Graduation ceremonies due to administrative favoritism. One such case involving the recent suspension of the school’s student body president.

So why are students who put an electronic buzzer in a locker facing possible jail time when they didn’t harm, or even intend any harm?

The double-standard for students at Benson High School is evident to anyone who goes there, and this is the most publicly it has ever reared its head.

Sincerely,

Benson Whistle Blower

The whistle blower sent this email to a few news outlets, and a few school district officials—one of whom replied, suggesting the pranksters be sent “off to Guantanamo”! That’s after the jump.

Benson Whistle Blower,

I agree with you wholeheartedly.

However, these are troubling times. We need to be vigilant against the threat of worldwide terrorism. It could strike in many disguises. The "Benson Four" could be a small cell of a larger organization of high school prankters around the world. We should be swift and brutal with our punishment in order to send the proper message..... This type of behavior will not be tolerated in a democratic society! I say off to Guantanamo for the "Benson Four".

Wow! I do understand the scare and the seriousness. Yet, if it was a prank, do we have room for mercy?

Local do-gooders PDX Pop Now! just spilled the beans on 2007’s compilation CD, plus the album’s bumpin’ release party. The CD hits the stores on Tuesday, June 19, but you can get your paws on a copy at the release concert:

Friday, June 8, 2007 at the Hawthorne Theatre - $6 (includes the CD!)
Hungry Mob / The Better to See You With / Strength / The Hugs
+ B-Boys from Ashes 2 Ashes, a DJ, and an Awesome Raffle

I have no idea who this “Awesome Raffle” band is, but I love them!

CD tracklisting below, click if you dare…

DISC 1

01 Swim Swam Swum – “Without Your French”
02 Lips and Ribs – “Battle in Nagoya”
03 Modernstate – “SSMF”
04 Menomena – “Wet and Rusting”
05 Syndel – “Lemme Hear It”
06 World Court – “Maps”
07 The Hand That Bleeds – “Shattered Love Trance”
08 The Ocean Floor – “A Simple Adventure”
09 Laura Gibson – “Come by Storm”
10 Mirah and Spectratone International – “Community”
11 Evolutionary Jass Band – “Phyllis’ Frindge”
12 Old Time Relijun – “The Tightest Cage”
13 Black Elk – “Toss You to the Wolves”
14 Ethan Rose – “Ceiling Song 3 (Excerpt)”
15 Lifesavas – “No Surprise”
16 Alela Diane – “Up North”
17 YACHT – “See a Penny (Pick it Up)”
18 Starfucker – “Rawnald Gregory Erickson the Second”
19 Colin Meloy (of The Decemberists) – “Culling of the Fold”

DISC 2

01 Junkface – “ATAMAKATAHIZAASHI”
02 Kristin Hersh – “Blackstone”
03 Sweater! – “Mediterranean”
04 Panther – “How Well Can You Swim?”
05 Ohmega Watts – “4 Days in Geneva”
06 Run On Sentence – “Carrie Pt. II”
07 Exploding Hearts – “(Making) Teenage Faces”
08 Derby – “If Ever There’s a Reason”
09 The Hugs – “North”
10 Eric John Kaiser – “L’Odyssee”
11 Ferocious Eagle – “Bastards”
12 The Better to See You With – “Garden”
13 Hungry Mob – “To the People”
14 Klezmocracy – “Hava Netze B’machol”
15 Wilding & AED – “Broken Branches”
16 The Robot Ate Me – “Empty Feelings”
17 Alan Singley – “Never Knew”
18 Nice Boys – “Johnny Guitar”
19 31Knots – “Sanctify”
20 White Rainbow – “Mystic Prism”
21 The Shaky Hands – “Soul”

A bunch of us around the Mercury office are big fans of comedian NICK SWARDSON (who you may know better as “Terry the gay prostitute” on Reno 911). He’ll also be coming to the Crystal on June 16, so get yer tickets now! Until then, here’s a clip from a TV show pilot he’s pitching called GAY ROBOT, which is about… ummm… a gay robot. In college. Who tutors hot frat boys. Enjoy.

Gay Robot - PILOT CLIP 3

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Want more Gay Robot? Plenty of clips here!

Jordin Sparks wins American Idol.

Three suspects in SE Portland car fires are questioned.

“Big, fat, lesbian, loud” Rosie O’Donnell and “innocent, pure, Christian” Elisabeth Hasselbeck spar on the View over Iraq:

Meanwhile, President Bush wants to “seek tougher measures” against Iran (proving Rosie correct, above).

That body found in the Euphrates River in Iraq? A soldier missing since early May. Two others are still missing.

Break out the sunscreen!

Crime in downtown Portland is down 20% thanks to the Portland Police Bureau. I’m sorry, that was a mistake. I meant to say, “thanks to the Portland Business Alliance.” From today’s PBA press release:

Portland, Ore…The Downtown Business Improvement District experienced the largest reduction in crime in Portland during the first quarter of 2007, making “downtown one of the safest neighborhoods in the city,” according to Mayor Tom Potter. Crime is down 20 percent downtown, compared to the same time period in 2006. Crime in all of Central Precinct was down by 15 percent during the same period, while the entire city saw a reduction of 8 percent.

“A tremendous amount of work and dedication by the Alliance’s Clean and Safe security team and the Central Precinct police officers helped to accomplish these results,” said Bill Sinnott, Director of the Portland Clean and Safe Program. “Clean and Safe will continue working closely with all our partners in law enforcement and with other security companies in downtown Portland to build on these results.”

On a separate note, here, pulled from Wikipedia, is the plot from Robocop. See if you can notice any parallels:

RoboCop is a 1987 cyberpunk action movie and satire of business-driven capitalism, directed by Paul Verhoeven. The film is set in a dystopian near future, in Detroit, Michigan. Violent crime is out of control, and the city is in financial ruin. The city contracts the megacorporation Omni Consumer Products (OCP) to fund and operate the police department, in effect privatizing it. OCP is not interested in rebuilding “Old Detroit” but with replacing it with a modern utopia called “Delta City”. Before this large construction project can begin, OCP wishes to end crime in the city, and creates a superhuman law-enforcement agent known as RoboCop.

“Care to read a 5,000 word essay on How Factional Politics and the Conservative Clergy Hinder Iranian Journalism? I can guarantee it’ll be the best essay on how factional politics and the conservative clergy hinder Iranian journalism you’ll read this year.” —Scott Moore

Frank Black will be performing a “warm up” show for his upcoming European tour this Saturday at Lefty’s in Salem.

This show slipped under our radar this week, sorry, we’re just not hip on Salem these days. The good news is that the venue serves pizza, so Frank won’t have to eat the rest of his hand.

No word on Kim Deal playing Medford, but if she does, we’re on it.

He looks just like his grandpa.

I think I’ve finally figured out Portland’s resistance to later hours at places like coffee shops—it goes hand in hand with Portland’s rep for our often, um, disinterested service industry.

Last night, I stopped by Caffe Pallino on SE Division at 30th. The gelato and coffee place opened a month or so ago, initially only until 8 pm. A few weeks ago, they extended their hours to 9 pm—which is great.

Anyway, last night I walked up to the counter at 8:40—and got in line. In addition to the couple and their kid ahead of me, there was a party of six outside who’d just started digging into their snack. Several more people were relaxing in the cafe, enjoying their dishes of gelato. In other words, the little place was hopping, 20 minutes before closing time.

The sweet guy behind the counter had me repeat my gelato request three times, and apologized for his spaciness. “Has it been a crazy day?” I asked.

“Actually, it just got busy in the last two hours,” he replied.

“That’s great! I’m really glad you guys are open later now,” I added.

“Yeah, we might have to stay open even later,” he answered, noting the crowds.

“Really?” I asked. (Yay! Between extended hours at Caffe Pallino, late hours at the new Legare’s coffee shop on SE Clinton, and pizza until after midnight at Hammy’s, my neighborhood is really shaping up—there’s way more to do after 8 pm than just hit one of the local bars.)

“Yeah, that would kinda suck,” he replied.

Um. I think extending your day by an extra hour because business is booming is the exact opposite of a situation that sucks. Sure, the guy scooping gelato isn’t the owner—but he should be thrilled that the place he works at is doing well. And I’d argue that he should be eager to help the place do even better, even if that means putting off his social plans by another hour (or quitting, so the owner can find an employee with a more accommodating schedule).

“Well, for me at least,” the guy clarified. Yes, exactly. But not for your customers.

And quickly, please…

Last night I got a chance to spy on a rehearsal for the summer show I’m most excited about, Sojourn Theatre’s Good.

Good is loosely based on Brecht’s Good Person of Szechuan; in Sojourn’s version, several gods come to earth searching for a genuinely “good” person, and when they find one, a young woman named Lucy, they bequeath her a car dealership. She is then challenged to run the dealership for a year while maintaining her goodness.

The most immediately interesting thing about this show is that it’s actually staged in the Wentworth Subaru dealership—Artistic Director Michael Rohd told me that Wentworth is a fifth-generation family owned business, and one of the family members happens to be a fan of the company. So, lucky for Sojourn, they’ve been given the after-hours run of the place, and they’re getting some amazing use out of it.

The plot of the show is revealed within the first ten minutes or so, and then the audience is guided through the building to see the story retold from various perspectives. Each character’s perspective is presented in a different style, with the style relating to how the character perceives him or herself. For example, in a scene I saw last night, a character who sees himself as sort of an “antihero” gets the full film-noir treatment, complete with shadowy silhouettes and vampy femmes fatales.

The show’s LA-based designer told me that she came up to Portland specifically to work on this show because it’s more exciting than anything going on in LA right now—she cited as an example a video created for the show by Immersive Media, which uses magic (?) to create a 360-degree projection of Portland.

I didn’t see the whole thing, but I’m going to go out on a limb: This is going to be a very good show. These people are serious about what they’re doing, and they’re doing it right. Get tickets early, there are only 30 spots for each performance.

Opens June 10, runs Thurs-Sun 8:30 pm, Wentworth Subaru Service Center,
130 SE 7th Ave (at Ash), $10-15, reservations at Brown Paper Tickets or call 971-544-0464.

Portastatic - You Blanks (Demo)

There is no real reason for me to post this song. Portastatic is not coming to town, nor do they (technically it’s just Mac McCaughan of Superchunk) have a brand new album out soon. It’s just that, according to my iTunes, I have played it 16 times in the past two days. Share my obsession, ok?

“All my songs used to end the same way/’everything’s gonna be okay’/you fuckers make that impossible to say”

The song appears on The Trials Of Darryl Hunt soundtrack, due out on August 7th.

Ladies, (still) looking for a bathing suit that won’t call attention to the fact that you will not be appearing poolside in a rap video? Or simply want a retro cut bathing suit that doesn’t have the ick factor of a previously worn vintage crotch? You’re just a keystroke away from local swimwear line Poppi Swim (4831 NE 42nd), now available for shopping online too.

One of Portland’s shoe fiends’ most valued establishments will be going out of business by the end of this year! Rubio himself is retiring after a life spent devoted to enabling you to hold on to your favorite pairs of boots and shoes for as long as possible—the quality ones, mind you. I’ve also had him look very disappointed in me for presenting some thrift finds that were apparently not worth saving. Usually I’d go in there with a big plastic bag of broken candidates, and he’d send me out having tossed most of them away, selecting just one or two that had a shot. In addition to running Rubio’s (115 SW Ash), he was also the go-to guy for customers of Halo (1425 NE Broadway). Luckily, he and the shop will still be in business until the winter time, so don’t put off those repairs too much longer. Coincidentally, I have another big plastic bag sitting on my dresser all ready to go.

Um, if you wear a European 36 1/2 and want to buy these crazy vintage witchy shoes, I found them at Erueka, I Found It!

Click here to see the full size version, in all its Pug-as-Slimer glory.

Monday’s curfew law post has stirred controversy both here on the blog and in outdated discussions I’ve been having “in the real world,” with “real people,” too.

Amanda Fritz is the most recent to weigh in down in the comments, and Amanda, I promise to answer your question this afternnon, but in the meantime, Blogtown readers, why not provide your two-cents worth? Am I blowing concerns about this law out of proportion? I don’t think so.

Though we are often accused of dismissing our readers’ opinions outright, in actuality, we consider every one of your ideas very carefully. Here’s an average reader named “Sparkle,” who has a question, and some advice to help us improve the Mercury. (Can anyone tell us what she means?)

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE CALL!

As we reported on Friday, Central Precinct Officers have begun their summer homeless sweeps of the downtown area. The deadline was last night for people camping under downtown bridges and on the sidewalk at 5th and Glisan to move on.

Street Roots director Israel Bayer has posted a lengthy entry on his personal blog about the “inhumanity” of such sweeps.

Here’s the problem. Portland is on the upswing of the 10-year plan to end homelessness. Providers are settling into the new system and getting results. Old systems, like the shelter model is looked at as being archaic, while the new housing first model is being implemented. Problem is there’s a transition and we as a city are moving way too fast for several different reasons.

The sweeps this morning and tonight by the City of Portland are inhumane and something we as a progressive city should be ashamed of.

Ah, the morning after.

After a night when our beloved Blazers shocked the sports world with their amazing luck, forever cementing “5.3%” in Portland sports history, the party does not end here.

The next step is deciding which superstar to take: Oden or Durant? Comment below, and please, no votes for this guy, and especially not this guy.

This part of the Oregonian’s story about the man shot by police in NE Portland last night caught my eye:

Last night’s shooting shattered the normal quiet of this well-tended, compact subdivision along the Columbia river. One resident, shocked to hear what happened, told The Oregonian this morning that it’s the kind of neighborhood where people walk their dogs and children play in the yards and on the sidewalks.

Now hold on a minute—the inclusion of that paragraph makes it seem as if this neighborhood is unique in Portland. But seriously—is there a neighborhood in Portland where people don’t walk their dogs and kids don’t play in the yards?

Last night was yet another blood bath on American Idol, but this time? It was beatboxing Blake who did the butchering. Oh yeah… SPOILER ALERT!
It was the last night of singing for finalists Blake and Jordin (neither of whom deserve to be there, but who gives a flying flip? It’s American Idol, not the electoral college). And while Blake got kudos for his tiresome fakey-ass beatboxing remix of “You Give Love a Bad Name,” he MURDERED (and subsequently was murdered by) the final original song given to both contestants entitled, “This is My Now.” How bad of a song was it? Here are a few of the lyrics. You be the judge.

This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment / But I look around / I can’t believe the love I see / My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubts / That was then, this is my now.

WOW. That’s really terrible. On the upside, Jordin excels in singing terrible songs, and even shed a few crocodile tears on the final bars, thereby clinching her victory tonight. Blake on the other hand, unable to fall back on his junior varsity mouth rhythms, decapitated the song, set it on fire, and then extinguished the blaze via urination. In other words, NOT SO GOOD. Hand Jordin the trophy now, please, and let’s forget this season ever transpired.
EXCEPT FOR ONE CONTESTANT, the memorable SANJAYA. And get this! According to a new video just released, it’s been revealed that perhaps Sanjaya isn’t really who he says he is! In this clip, Sanjaya reveals his true name and intentions: He is Bill Vendall, a grad art school student who entered Idol as part of an art project to fulfill his graduate thesis! Whether truth or bullshit, now I really wish he had won!

Locally:

The cops shot and killed a man in NE Portland.

An arsonist torched more cars in SE Portland.

The Blazers nabbed the #1 draft pick (and Ezra’s head nearly exploded).

A state bill that would ban smoking in bars heads to the House.

Not so locally:

President Bush doesn’t always wear a seat belt.

Drama at a House Judiciary Committee hearing over the firing of U.S. Attorney; A former aide says her boss was “not fully candid” about the dismissals.

The body of a U.S. soldier was found floating in the Euphrates River.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes to have another baby?

Today is the single greatest day in Portland Trail Blazers history!!!!!!!!!!!!

When the whole Friendster thing happened, I, like many of my peers, got totally obsessed. But when everyone started jumping over to MySpace instead, I resisted the advice, seductive attempts, and—most frightening—the actual anger of people who wanted me to join yet another online community. “Eff that,” I said, “I am never going to create another ‘online profile’ of myself ever again. Besides, do I look like I have the time?” Well, now that my Friendstering has dwindled to the charming surprise I have when I get those infrequent Friendster messages in through my email (how quaint), I just signed up for Iqons. I have not so much as begun to construct my goddamn profile and I reserve the right to back out at any time, but the appeal to me is that it is for people working and interested in fashion internationally, from stylists to bloggers. I’m mentioning it to you, BlogTownies, not just so you can be my Iqons (??—God I hope that’s not what they call each other.), but because one of the most interesting parts of the site is that they offer project ideas and opportunities, the first of which is “You Wear It Well/Got A Minute?” It’s a film contest, the rules of which are that it can only be a minute long, and that it have to do with fashion/beauty/style. One winner each month will be showcased on the site, and included in the You Wear It Well film festival that tours worldwide (not that that includes Portland, boo hoo)—the fashion themed festival is actually in its second cycle, but this is the first time it’s been associated with Iqons, the /Got A Minute? being its titular differentiator when referring to the business on the site. I’ve actually seen and posted submissions before without knowing it—remember Kelly (“Oh My God, Shoes”)? And “Starring,” the Jeremy Scott soap opera spoof? Yep. Others are not as silly, such as the submission by Sans, the up and coming ethical fashion line, whose submission is essentially an arty commercial for their work. I want to see some of the designers and filmmakers in this town come together on this! You Wear It Well 2 debuts in Los Angeles in August—that might be a bit tight, but it sounds like a great opportunity for exposure, and there’s always next year. Here’s the trailer from the first festival. (Um, who says you need Chloë Sevigny?)

This one’s so good, I’ve canceled social plans for the evening, so I can be there to witness the showdown.

As we reported last week, neighborhood activists were raising questions about closed door mediation sessions in NW Portland, site of a controversial parking garage proposal. The neighborhood association won the last appeal of the garage, but sat down to mediation with the developer anyway—prompting concern from other residents, who have no idea what might be bargained away in mediation, which is being done confidentially.

The Northwest District Association (NWDA) scrapped their original agenda for tonight’s meeting—they were going to discuss public safety—in favor of airing concerns over the garage mediation.

From NWDA president Frank Bird:

A major land use matter has developed that must become the focus of this meeting. As most of you know, at a city council meeting on April 12, NWDA’s Appeal Project representatives accepted the mayor’s offer to meet with the applicant proposing a parking garage on Irving Street in a mediation process, the goal of which is to reach a compromise. This matter has raised considerable interest along with many questions. There is also a lot of misunderstanding and lack of information that must be addressed. The public safety and livability program will be scheduled for a future NWDA and NWNW public meeting.

Love neighborhood drama? Join in: Wistar Morris room, 1015 NW 22nd Avenue, Legacy Good Samaritan Hospital, 6 pm.

If you’re like me, you’ve often wondered about what kinds of lessons students were being taught at Rev. Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University. Now we know—they were learning to make napalm in order to kill protesters. Just like Jesus!

According to ABC News, 19-year-old Liberty University student Mark Ewell was arrested last night for having several homemade, napalm-like bombs in his car, which he told authorities were meant to stop protesters from disrupting Falwell’s funeral this afternoon in Lynchburg, Va. Police are reportedly searching for three other suspects.

It’s unclear, though, which protesters he was aiming for. The only high profile protests being reported were by the Phelps Clan—you know, the bigots who go around protesting at funerals because “God hates fags.” Why they’d choose to protest the funeral of a fellow homophobe is beyond me, but rationality is not a trait I’d assign to people like Fred Phelps.

Meanwhile, the Washington Post is reporting that the funeral drew 30,000 people, but only 7,000 were able to fit inside Falwell’s Thomas Road Baptist Church. But the ones that made it in—whoooo boy!—a “panoply” of Good Ol’ Boys. Here’s a sampling of the kind, kind words said about Falwell, America’s most beloved bigot.

Christian Coalition co-founder Ralph Reed called him “one of the greatest men of the last half of the century,” while former Virginia senator George Allen (R) called him a “friend, an ally and a good supporter.”

“So many in politics aren’t recognizing the social and moral issues in our society,” said Roy Moore, the Alabama judge who gained a national following with his unsuccessful fight to display a Ten Commandments monument at his courthouse. “People like Jerry Falwell were bold enough to speak out.”

And, of course, Tim Goeghlin, deputy director of the White House public liaison office, called Falwell a “great friend of the administration” and a “man of vision who has seen a vision fulfilled.”

There’s a new restaurant on Alberta called the Local Beet (is that a pun?). They opened on Friday and as of my visit last night, they’re still working out some of the kinks: Our server presented the menu to us with the caveat that it was a “work in progress,” and he asked us for feedback several times throughout the meal.
Now, I totally understand that it generally takes a restaurant a few weeks to get everything dialed in. When I go to a brand new restaurant, it’s to check out the space and to get a sense of the atmosphere, not to pass any serious judgement on the food or service. That said, I don’t really appreciate being treated like a guinea pig. I’m still paying for food, after all; while I understand opening-month glitches in both the front and back of the house, it’s not my job help them design their menu, and admitting up front that the food might not be up to snuff doesn’t exactly inspire confidence, nor does it make me want to spend much money on their food.

It’s fairly small inside, with a handful of tables and seating at the bar, and there’s also a huge outside seating area with tons of picnic tables. The walls are orange, the ceiling is red, there’s goofy coffeeshop art everywhere, and the overall impression is a of well-intentioned, low-budget, vaguely hippie joint aspiring to be a new neighborhood hangout. It will probably succeed on that front, by virtue of the patio alone, plus they have reasonably priced taps and a full bar.

Local Beet, 2415 NE Alberta

More on the restaurant and menu after the jump

The Local Beet is not a brewpub, but they very much serve brewpub grub, with an emphasis on local ingredients, natch.

I'll list a few menu items but as I said it sounds like the menu is still subject to change:

Hummus plate, $6
baked brie, $6
anti pasta plate, $6

vegan caesar salad, $6
spinach, watercress and blood orange salad, $6
prosciutto- cotto sandwich, $7
baked tofu sandwich, $7

rotating vegan soup of the day, $4

Salmon fillet, $12
house made black bean burger, $9
misty isle farms hand-packed burger, $9
shepherds pie, $9
misty isle flatiron steak, $19

Let’s see… let’s see… what’s on TV tonight… OH, YEAH. It’s the…

• DANCING WITH THE STARS season finale (ABC, 9 pm)! For those who give a poop, it’s a neck-and-neck horse race between Apolo “Oh YES!” Ohno, Joey “The Fat One” Fatone, and Laila “I have no nickname” Ali. I really don’t care who wins, I’m just happy that the beautiful sport of ballroom dancing is finally getting the respect it so richly deserves. GOD! C’mon, I’m just kidding!!

• VERONICA MARS series finale (CW, 8 pm)! It’s a two-hour goodbye to Veronica, who has been my fave teen crush ever since Buffy went bye-bye. The series is now officially kaput, so if you never got around to seeing this great show, check it out on DVD! (All together now… SOB!)

• And what else? Ahh, yes. AMERICAN IDOL, the penultimate episode (Fox, 8 pm)! Tonight’s the last time you’ll ever get to hear Blake’s godawful beatboxing. Look, I don’t give a crap if he is from the Northwest. He stinks. VOTE JORDIN SPARKS!
Oh, and by the way, you heard about Paula Abdul breaking her nose after tripping over her chihuahua, Tulip, right? Check out this video of Paula trying to explain what happened… while COMPLETELY POOP-FACED.

If you hear the name “Sadie’s Hot Spot”, what is your immediate thought?
You also hear the words, “Home of the “D” Cup”, “Fantasy Friday”, and
“Teddy Tuesday”. No, it’s not what you think it is. “Sadie’s Hot Spot” is
a drive-thru, walk-up espresso stand already doing business in the Portland
Area. And, yes, we have already shown the bikinis! Not only does this
stand have great “eye” appeal, it features the best coffee in
Portland…Stumptown coffee.

Check us out on the best espresso website in the northwest. Just type in
http://www.SadiesHotSpot.com through your Internet Explorer window and take a
look. There you will find pictures of Sadie’s Helpers at work and at play
around Portland. Let us offer you the best morning ever! We are located
on McLoughlin Blvd (99E) & Roethe Rd in Milwaukie.

My favorite part, from the website: “We offer A, B, C & D cup serving sizes.” And, let’s see, today must be Teddy Tuesday…

Brazil’s Amon Tobin will be bringing his skewed techno to the Doug Fir Lounge tonight. To prepare, check out this amazing video for “Proper Hoodidge,” and be sure to make it all the way to the end. It gets better and better.

Dark Horizons is reporting that Robert Rodriguez will be remaking Barbarella, cranking it out in his usual quick fashion so it’ll hit theaters in 2008. It seems like as long as I can remember, there’s been talk of a remake of this flick (10 years ago, Drew Barrymore was supposed to be involved), and Rodriguez is always rumored to be making about 50 films at once (just last week, he was supposedly prepping a live-action movie of The Jetsons), so we’ll see if this actually happens. If it does, I think we can be pretty sure who’ll be taking over for Fonda, though another actress he’s worked with might be better for the part. Either way, could be awesome, could be terrible. (That said, whether or not the bizarre, amazing glory of Barbarella can be re