Congress fails to override President Bush’s veto of a bill that would’ve brought our troops home. Next time, tell him he’s signing a bill to keep Sanjaya on American Idol.

A report has shown that Fox News douchebag Bill O’Reilly calls a person or group a derogatory name every seven seconds. And ooops! So did I!

Calling oneself “the decider” is so passe… nowadays, President Bush likes to refer to himself as “the commander guy”!

Spider-Man earns $29 million in his first day; meanwhile, I’m lucky to pull in $29,000 a year. I’m not complaining. I love my job.

“This watch costs more than your car.”