Roust yourselves from slumber, Blogtownies! The new week is off and running…

1.Street Sense won the Kentucky Derby, in front of the Queen of England, no less. Prompting some sports writers to get a little carried away with their intros…

2.Portland is the best place to live in the entire universe! [so says a guy who lives in Portland…I mean, come on, New York Times, run my “Portland, the City That Sucks” piece already!]

3.France has a new president, Nicolas Sarkozy…after winning a bitterly fought election against socialist Segolene Royal, Mr.Sarkozy appears to have celebrated in true French style, by bonking his wife: “After a night of celebrating, Mr. Sarkozy and his wife, Cécilia, slipped away from their home outside Paris early today without saying where they were going…”

4.Shoplifters in Alabama choose between 60 days in jail, or wearing “I’m a thief” signs outside Walmart:
Expect similar signs outside Tiffany’s in New York, soon.

5.The Oregonian’s David Austin wisely counsels Portland’s teenage girls, asking, “Want to be Queen of the Rose Festival?” Anorexia is one way to go about it, “in a culture that places a high value on looks.” Seriously, read the piece. I’m sorry for the girl involved, but the editorial logic is moronic. It’s like reading The Onion’s Women’s Issue without the irony.

6.Death to America! A new BBC series looks at why America’s image around the world “has never been so poor.”

7.Gawker’s Unethicist hits a home run this week, so those poor old Yankees don’t have to.

8.Shock! Lindsay Lohan loves drugs!

You be sure and have a great day now, Blogtownies, whether YOU love drugs, or not.