The Senate to vote on ending war funding. But without funding for bullets and bombs, how will our troops spread democracy?

While in South America, the Pope sticks it to that Marx fellow. Brazil nods politely, then goes back to checking the calendar and counting down the days until the Pope leaves and next year’s Carnaval begins.

Bang! Bang! Bank shoot-out in ‘Bama! I suspect a couple of rogue surfers, in ex-President masks, who are in search of the ultimate rush. Johnny Utah, where are you?

Lindsay Lohan wins Maxim’s “Hot 100” contest. Whatever. My chubby cat, Michael Jackson, just won the Cat Fancy “Top Tortie 2007” contest and you don’t see me send out press releases about it.

In NBA playoff news, Robert Horry is a huge dick.