Just one reason why the ACLU is so dang rad—the organization is suing a subsidiary of Boeing for helping the CIA make terror suspects “disappear.” “This is the first time we are accusing a blue-chip American company of profiting from torture,” ACLU lawyer Ben Wizner said.

Speaking of torture—another Guantanamo prisoner has committed suicide. The government says he was of “high value,” which sounds like a posthumous compliment until you realize that probably just means they resorted to even more inhumane methods to extract information. That plus five years in a holding cell with no legal process, no trial, and no hope of ever getting out? At least his corpse is being treated like a human: “A cultural adviser was helping the military handle the remains. ‘The remains of the deceased detainee are being treated with the utmost respect,’ the military said.”

Are Bostonians the jumpiest mofos in the country or what? Just months after the city was shut down due to a threat by a cartoon, police in the suburb of Ashland closed down a strip mall yesterday because…well…because a fax came out crooked at the local Bank of America. They thought it was a bomb threat.

Great! Just what the country needs! Another Republican actor in charge of the government. Fred Thompson has quit Law & Order and says he’s running for president. At least he looks like a president. Or, rather, he looks like a movie president. I don’t even know what’s real anymore.

President Bush is urging 15 industrialized nations to agree on a reduction of greenhouse gas emissions. But since this is Bush, what he actually means is “eliminate regulation of polluters and increase greenhouse gas emissions by a million percent.”