• Tonight on the tube: the series premiere of Survivor rip-off PIRATE MASTER (CBS, 8 pm), and the 2007 NATIONAL SPELLING BEE (ABC, 8 pm). Think of it this way: Watching Pirate Master will make you feel smarter.

• Former senator/actor Fred Thompson leaves Law & Order to run for president. That’s the worst excuse for leaving a crappy show I’ve ever heard.

• Another great reason to pick up the Veronica Mars 3rd season DVD? They’re adding the six-minute trailer of Veronica working for the FBI! (I don’t care if you don’t care! I CARE!)

• A 10-hour tribute to the late Charles Nelson Reilly? Again… you don’t have to care. I CARE!!

• And speaking of the modern-day Charles Nelson Reilly, Frasier star David Hyde Pierce is officially GAY.

No shit, sherlock.