Now, when the Oregonian said that poison control specialists recommended “10 firefighters and 20 residents of the complex, located at Southeast 12th and Harrison, be taken to OHSU for evaluation for mercury exposure,” they weren’t talking about us.

Saturday evening I noticed the route—and by route, I mean entire block—to a friend’s house had been closed off by a hazardous materials team. It appears an unnamed Portland man nearly poisoned his entire neighborhood while trying to make a hydrogen fuel cell in a pressure cooker using sodium, mercury, and powdered aluminum.

The ingredients caused a great deal of smoke and people were treated for mercury poising as a precautionary tactic and barred from entering their homes until Tuesday at the earliest.

According to the Oregonian, Grant Coffey, organizer of the hazardous materials team, said the man trying to create the fuel cell was “using chemicals he bought through the mail and a recipe downloaded on the internet,” and had “no chemistry training and didn’t have any idea about what could happen when mixing metals.”

Come on people, alternative fuels are great, but unless you’re Bill Nye the science guy, try using a bike.