If you’re the type of person who either loves to see the Mercury win or fail, well, this weekend you’re out of luck—because this weekend we will most certainly WIN!!

On Saturday (May 19, 2-5pm) be sure to drop by the Gotham Tavern (2240 N Interstate) for the huge SCRABBLE TOURNAMENT, which I can tell you right now will be won by the Mercury’s own Courtney Ferguson and Amy J. Ruiz. How do I know they’ll win? Because they’ll be FIRED if they don’t. The Mercury likes to win.

Then on Sunday (May 20, 1 pm) it’s the legendary MERCURY SOFTBALL TEAM’S opening game of the season against last year’s second place winners, SABALA’S. (Last year, we were the first place winners. As well as the year before. And so shall we be this year, as well. Just so you know.) It’s at Farragut Park in North Portland (N Kerby & Farragut, a couple blocks north of Lombard). Come watch us win! RAH!

Oh, and we’re also getting drunk at Union Jack’s (938 E Burnside) on Saturday night as well. When strippers and booze are involved, everybody wins.