I am not comfortable with the fact that after the lameness of Spider-Man 3, it's up to the goddamn FANTASTIC FOUR to deliver a cool comic book movie this summer. Man, the first Fantastic Four blew. Hard. And yet: This one looks cool. But don't you fuck me over, Fantastic Four. Do you hear me? I'm relying on you, here. I am not comfortable with that fact, but I am. Don't let me down.

I see no Galactus. There better be some goddamn Galactus up in there, that's all I have to say.

(Also, I disagree that the first one blew. It was a kids' movie, which is exactly what the FF should be. Was it smart and clever and ironically self-aware? No. Was it fun? Totally. If I was 11, that would have been my favoritest movie ever.)

I hate this idea that if certain films are marketed and rated as "kids movies," then they can't be enjoyable for the rest of us. The best children's films (Miyazaki, Pixar, the rare Disney flick) are the ones that don't talk down to their audience--regardless of that audience's age. If I was a kid watching Fantastic Four, I'd have also seen the Spider-Man and X-Men movies, and I wouldn't be fooled for a second by the cheap, limp, sitcom-y Fantastic Four. Could a fun, all-ages movie be made out of the comic? Sure. Was the first one it? No way, man.

And yes, Beaton, there'll be some Galactus in this one. But--brace yourself--from what I'm seeing on the internets, he might not be quite like what you're expecting. [SEMI-SPOILER IN THAT LINK. And it's probably important to note that I usually don't read or approve of spoilers, but since Steve's gonna be reviewing this movie, and I'm not particularly hopeful for it, I figured I might as well read a spoiler or two for this one. Hey, it's helping calibrate my expectations accordingly.]