Looking to cash in on his “embarrassment” after being mentioned in the Mercury this week, Portland’s “bad apple” rent-a-cop, Kevin Chard, called up again—this time, he wants to sell his story.

Click here to listen to the message he left on the Mercury’s voice mail last night. In case it’s not clear, here’s a transcript:

Hi Matt, it’s Kevin Chard again. After thinking about it if you want more information I’ll let you know but it’ll cost some money. I’ll divulge whatever information you want but, you know, it doesn’t come cheap. It comes with a price. So if you want the information, you want the scoop, you guys have gotta pay. Give me a call.

To remind you: Chard worked for PPI—the security firm patrolling downtown whose officers’ look like real cops, have similar uniforms, and many of whom carry real guns (and should in theory have ethics)—between October 2006 and February 2007. His employment was terminated after a criminal background check returned saying he had a “disqualifying criminal history.”

PPI officers share some of the same duties as real cops. In fact, they could easily be—and often are—mistaken for police officers by the average person on the street. But unlike real cops, they have no oversight. And their background checks are a little looser. Cough.

[Loaded silence.]

Cough.

We are the Mercury, but our publisher’s really tightened up the bribery budget this year. Still, we’re thinking about offering him a pound of Stumptown coffee and two tickets to the Laurelhurst for his story. Comments?