Just thought I’d share this anonymous reader’s view on polyamory and open relationships. Cuz who says all your sex advise has to come from Dan Savage? (Remember you can always come to us to vent your frustrations.)

just what the fuck is wrong with monogamy? is it for like, “squares” or something? is it just for warped religious people? is it only for people like your parents? why is it that in some Portland crowds, “monogamy” is a dirty word. maybe i like to build a real relationship with one person. and it doesnt always work out all the time, but thats how I learn and grow.

everywhere i go i hear people say “oh yeah i’m polyamorous, yadda yadda monogamy is just, like, totally dragging me down”. no, my friend. youre not “polyamorous”. you like to get your bone on with more than one person. if people dont want to commit and they like casual sex with different people they should just fucking call it exactly what it is: non-committal casual sex. and theres absolutely nothing wrong with that. just dont insult me by building a “philosophy” around it and calling it some bullshit new age term like polyamory. just fucking dont.

multiple partners? fine by me, but dont justify it by saying you “live the polyamorous lifestyle”. relationship with one person but casual sex with others? great, i’ve seen it work for some people and it’s called an “open-relationship”. orgies? fucking disgusting, but some people are into that and its ok too. but saying that you’re trying to have —>EQUALLY-COMMITTED<— relationships with multiple people? puh-leeeeeze. there is no such thing. that is a disastrous setup and you know someone is gonna get the shitty end of the deal.

seriously, if someone can show me evidence of 3 or more people sustaining that kind of close relationship for an extended period of time, i’ll eat the fucking shirt off my back. or… how ‘bout you just all go fuck yourselves instead? literally. you could call it polyamory. hahahaha.