1.KUYKENDALLGATE! Mike Kuykendall of the Portland Business Alliance tells City Commissioner Randy Leonard he is not “running or improperly influencing” the Mayor’s Sit/Lie Committee, to force the sit/lie ordinance through before the accompanying services (benches, restrooms, day access center) are in place. City Commissioner Randy Leonard says: “I do appreciate your work but I also believe very much in fairness, especially for those who may be stuck on the bottom rung of our community’s ladder.” In other words? “Stick it.”RANDY LEONARD: Sticking up for the homeless.

The Oregonian is yet to report on any of this, perhaps because its city hall reporters haven’t been at any of the committee meetings, so they’ve no idea what’s going on, and the head of the Portland Business Alliance, Sandra McDonough, used to be an Oregonian reporter. The Oregonian also hates homeless people. It really does.

2.LIBBYGATE! Scooter Libby, who lied to a court about revealing the name of CIA agent Valerie Plame, in order to discredit arguments against the Iraq war, gets 30 months in jail. Now there really is a man with improper influence…

3.WILD-OATS-GATE! The Federal Trade Commission is suing to stop Whole Foods’ planned takeover of Wild Oats, saying the merger would drive up prices of organic produce, and lower quality. Bloody organic food fat-cats. This is a case of the FTC standing up for those stuck on the third rung of society’s ladder. Personally I will no longer shop at Whole Foods if their artichokes go above $9 apiece. Outrageous.

Good day!