There’s that old saying, “When your enemies makes asses out of themselves, give them all the oats they can eat.” Ok, I just made that up, but, still, I think it’s pretty sound advice.

Case in point! Viceroy Cheney continues to embarrass 200-plus years of constitutional democracy by claiming that he’s above rules governing classified documents—because he’s not part of the executive branch. That’s ridiculous on its face. Even more ridiculous (and entertaining)? He’s now dragged the rest of the White House down his bizarro rabbit hole, and if there’s one thing we know about White House spokespeople, it’s that they’re functionally illiterate. Poor, poor Dana Perino.

Internet radio broadcasters are set to turn today into a day of silence to protest a sharp increase in royalty fees. Wait, they have radio on the internet? What’s next, TV?

Sadly, World Wrestling Entertainment star Chris Benoit, his wife, and son were found dead in their Georgia home yesterday. WWE chairman Vince McMahon had to interrupt a scheduled match—and fake memorial service for McMahon’s “character”—to announce that Benoit died “in reality.” I’m all for pop culture criticism, especially as it relates to the dumbing down of America, but even that last bit has my head wrapped around itself. Someone say something.

I know this isn’t news, but OMG I’m sooooo excited about Live Free or Die Hard!

The U.S. Senate may take up a failed immigration bill again today. Some call it amnesty, some call it an expansion of temporary worker status, and others are using it to hop on board with their pet projects, like a compromise that puts more money into “border security.” Say, aren’t we talking about immigration tonight at rontoms (600 E Burnside, 7pm)? Why yes, we are. Think this’ll come up? I bet it will!

Germany has decided to ban Tom Cruise from making a film there about a plot to kill Adolph Hitler—because he’s a Scientologist. Because if there’s one thing Germany needs a reputation for, it’s discriminating against religious minorities.

Lastly, anyone catch Ronnda Zezula, the mother of one of the lesbian teens kicked off a TriMet bus, on Bill O’Reilly last night? Anyone got a YouTube of it?