Look, I realize that this isn’t an issue of national importance or anything, and nor does it have anything to do with tape, but am I alone in wondering what the hell they’ve done to the once-super-hot Jessica Alba for the new Fantastic Four movie? Let’s do a little “before and after,” shall we?

She looks like somebody threw her into a swimming pool full of bleach: Pale and gaunt and not hot anymore and in terrible pain. Actually, maybe the terrible pain part is just her realizing she has to be in another Fantastic Four.